Keeping Priorities in Order

A new school year is beginning soon. For us, it's in two weeks; for some of you, it may have already begun! With a change in schedule, priorities can get shifted around. Sometimes that's necessary. But I'm taking a hard look this semester at my priorities and where they stand.

• God should always be number one. Some days (many days, if I'm honest) my Bible goes unopened. Sure, we do Portals of Prayer almost every day, and pray together daily, but my personal Bible study time is definitely lacking. That's something that I am constantly working on, and it's something I can't slack on when school starts. Especially when life gets busier, I'm going to need to be in the Word even more, otherwise life will just fall apart.
• My husband should always be the second most important person in my life! I often find myself caught up in the busyness of the school year, trying to socialize in between classes, work, and homework-- and sometimes my husband gets neglected. This should not be! My husband is my closest family, my very best friend, and my partner for life--nourishing our marriage needs to be way at the top of my priority list.
• Next should be time for family and friends. This doesn't happen during the school year as much as I'd like, partly because my family lives far away and Joshua's is even busier than we are. But we try to see them as often as we practically can.
• After my relationships come my responsibilities. First and foremost is my calling as a homemaker: planning and preparing meals, keeping up with laundry, keeping our home clean and presentable.
• Next I need to focus on my jobs, the ways I financially contribute to our little family. Blogging is one of my jobs, too--it's an important part of what I do and who I am.
• Finally comes school, and with that, homework. Obviously, attending classes on a day-to-day basis is a non-negotiable, and I always turn in homework on time, but it's not the most important aspect of my life, or the one I should be spending the most time and attention on.
• Mixed in here is spending some time focusing on myself, but that cannot be my top priority. Obviously I need to take care of myself physically, and take some time to rest and relax daily (nourishing food, adequate sleep, and physical activity are absolute musts in every day!). But I need to spend the majority of my time focusing on others.

It's a lot to balance, and although your roles, relationships and responsibilities may look a little different, I'm sure you have a lot to balance in your life as well.

How are your priorities lining up? Who or what is at the top of your list?

Is it your husband? Your children? Your job? Your writing? Yourself?

If God isn't at the top, followed closely by your spouse, the rest of your priorities won't line up right. The Lord needs to be the main focus of your life, the center around which everything else revolves. It's His Word that will keep you grounded and able to fulfill all your other roles and responsibilities the best you can. Trust me, I need to remind myself of this very often!

If spouse and family aren't way toward the top of your priority list, simply speaking, you're failing in your primary callings. We all have a variety of vocations--roles to which God has called us. If you're married and/or a parent, those vocations are your first and most important! No matter what job you have (even if it's a pastor, a doctor, a lawyer, a police officer), whatever it is, it's not as important as your first calling, which is to your family.

I have to remember this on a very regular basis. It's so easy to get caught up in thinking "but when I'm working I'm doing it for my family!" Or in my case, "When I'm spending all my time cooking and cleaning and taking care of the house, I'm doing it for my husband!" Most times he'd rather I spend time with him, not spend time doing dishes or cleaning the bathroom. Obviously those things need to get done, but they're not nearly as important as investing in my relationship with my husband.

So yep,  I sometimes struggle with keeping my priorities in order. I think we all do to some extent.

I find that it helps when I schedule time for those things that are most important. I do well with a written, detailed schedule, and if I put "Bible study and prayer" for the first half-hour of each day, I'm very likely to do it. If I decide that Tuesday and Friday nights, nothing goes on the calendar because those two nights are set aside for time with my husband, we'll actually spend that time together. If I schedule a couple hours a day for homework, it will happen in those times and not get pushed to evenings when I should be spending time with my husband. Those are some things I'm going to do to keep my priorities in order this school year.

What are you going to do this year to keep your priorities lined up? Looking at yourself, what order are you priorities in right now?

Thankful Thursday, "V" Edition

Today I am thankful for variety.  It's said that variety is the spice of life, but I think it adds some sweetness as well.  I just started varying the way I drink coffee.  I normally don't drink it often, because coffee plus rich creamer tends to not settle well with me, but last week I tried something: mixing about half a cup of coffee, half a cup of milk, and a teaspoon of coconut oil and foaming it with my immersion blender.  Folks, I may never drink coffee any other way again.  It tastes as good as any coffeehouse drink, isn't too sweet or rich for my stomach, costs pennies, and tastes amazing.  My immersion blender is a pro at foaming up the warm milk and coffee!  I'm loving this variety in my life.

I'm thankful for the knowledge of our soon-to-come summer vacation.  Next week is our last week of classes, then we have finals, and then school is DONE for the year.  I can hardly wait.  Bubbling in my head are so many plans and ideas for the summer...when I FINALLY have free time!

On that note, I'm thankful for vocation--specifically the ones of wife, homemaker, student, daughter, sister, friend, that God has given me.  I'm excited to focus on "wife," "homemaker," and "friend" this summer, and put "student" away with the books for a few months!

I'm especially thankful--today and every day--for the victory that I have over Satan, sin, and death in Jesus Christ my Savior.  Because of his life, death, and resurrection, the battle against the devil is already won.  We, as believers in him, are victorious!!

What are you thankful for today?  Can you come up with a "V" word in your list?

I am a sinner and a saint.

If we're all about the "I" today, I'd like to talk about what I am.

I am a sinner.  Born into sin, because of the sin of Adam and Eve that has been passed down to me through all those generations.  And I live in sin, because of the sinful choices I make every day.  We live in a sin-filled world, and that's just reality.

But I'm also a saint.  No, that doesn't mean I'm perfect.  I am a child of God.  In my baptism, the Holy Spirit came into my heart and gave me faith.

God lives in me.

That's an amazing thing.  As a result of this, my soul belongs to God and lives in harmony with him.  That's the saint-side of me.

It's hard to understand, I know.  I don't fully understand it myself.  But I know it's true.

Just as every minute of every day I am sinning--doing things in opposition to God--so also, every minute of every day, I am living a life that is obedient to God and pleasing to him.

How can that be?  How can I, just sitting here, be obeying God?

That's the same question I asked a professor a couple years ago, when we were discussing this in a class.  What he told me I will always remember.
"Well, you're sitting here in class," he said.  "In doing so, you're fulfilling your vocation of student.  You're giving attention and respect to me, as your teacher, someone in authority over you.  You're preparing yourself for whatever future vocation God has planned for you.  You're contributing to the discussion and helping others learn and grow.  So, just by having your rear in that chair right now, you're obeying and honoring God."

I had never thought of it like that before.  Even without meaning to, without doing it intentionally, my whole life is one of obedience to God.  Why?  Because the Holy Spirit lives in me and enables me to wholly serve, love and obey God.

It's not about me.  If it was up to me, I would only be sinning all the time.  It's only because of God's grace, mercy and forgiveness that I am able to be obedient to Him.

That gives me so much joy.  One of the biggest goals of my life is to give honor to my Jesus.  And because of His love for me, I do that all the time!  It's wonderful how He helps me so much in my desire to live in obedience to Him.  He knows that if it wasn't for His help, I'd never be able to do it myself! :D

You know what's wonderful?  If you're a baptized believer in Jesus, you're a sinner and saint, too.  Sure, you'll struggle with sin all the time.  But don't despair--because of Jesus, you are always a saint.  And someday, when our earthly bodies have died, our eternal souls will live forever with Jesus in heaven--in perfection!

Embracing This Present Season of Life

I have this habit of looking forward toward the future, and keeping the past firmly in my sights as well.  This leaves too little time for focusing on the present.

Image credit: Stock photo via Stuart Miles at freedigitalphotos.net

In keeping with my theme of {FOCUS} for this year, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to really embrace the present--the present day, and the present time in life.  Right now my season of life includes the vocations of wife, homemaker, and college student, among others.  One vocation I do not have right now is motherhood.

I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to being a mama.  The excitement of preparing for the birth of a child, wondering if it will be a boy or girl, whose features our child will have, what their personality will be like.  The changes in our life that a child will bring--new jobs and responsibilities, a new person to love and care for.  Seeing this living miracle that God made, in my body, a personification of his love for us in a tiny baby.  Sure, there are things to be less excited about... the discomfort and pain of pregnancy and childbirth, learning how to nurture our marriage with the added challenge of having a baby.

But right now, none of these things is in our near future.  We still have a couple years left before we're both done with school, and therefore, we'll need to wait to become parents.

As much as I'm looking forward to the future, it won't do to focus only on that right now.  God has me in this place, in this season of life, for very good reason.  He has a purpose for my life right now.  He has work for me to do right where I am.  Therefore, instead of spending all my time planning for and thinking about having a baby sometime in the future, I'm going to look for ways to serve God right here, right now.

Practically speaking, what does it mean to embrace each season of life as it comes?

-I embrace the roles God has given me.  Right now, those are wife, homemaker, and college student.  The roles of wife and homemaker will be mine for the rest of my life.  Now is the time to work on those, gaining wisdom and experience, and nurturing my marriage as much as I can, so that it can stand strong through the changes and challenges that will inevitably come.  After all, even after our future children grow up and leave home, I'll still be a wife--that's my first calling, and the most important.

-I look for ways to serve.  I don't have to wait till my husband is officially a teacher and "in the ministry."  We can start doing ministry right now!  I have hopes and plans that I'm looking to implement this fall...I'll let you know when those plans are more concrete.  At home, I can serve my husband, by taking care of our home and striving to be the best helper to him that I can.  I can open my home to others, and share the love of Jesus by practicing hospitality.  What gifts have I been given?  I can share those and thus serve the Lord.

-I leave the future in God's hands.  It does no good to worry about the future.  I have very little control over the days to come--but God does.  He already knows what will happen in my future, because he is eternal--not bound by time.
God made a promise to his people Israel that applies to his people today, too:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the Lord... (Jeremiah 29:11-14a)

Jesus taught this to his disciples in Matthew (6:31-34):

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  (Emphasis added)

Finally, we can be certain that nothing in the past, present or future will ever change the way God loves us, and he will let nothing separate us from him.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39, emphasis added)

What does this mean for us?  It means we can embrace our life, wherever we are in it, without fear and with joy, because God has our future in his hands.  He has a plan for us.  And his love for us is unchanging, and will stay the same forever, no matter what the future holds.

Linking with: A Proverbs 31 Wife, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, the Modest Mom

{Focus} On My Schedule

Most of my childhood, my days were fairly unstructured.  There were, of course, expectations for each day-make bed, do schoolwork, help around the house--but we were never on a rigid schedule.  That lasted through high school (one of the lovely benefits of homeschooling!), but college changed my lifestyle considerably.  Now I have to be in classes at specific times each day and I have a set work schedule.  This all changes every semester, so each semester we have to adjust our daily schedule at home a little.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, lamenting how we haven't been very productive over Christmas break simply because we have no schedule (although classes start again on Monday).  I realized that if I had given myself a schedule--not necessarily rigid, but at least some structure to a day--I could have gotten a lot more done over break.  So I've decided that, for this semester, I'm going to give myself a schedule for while I'm at home, not just at class and work.

I also want to make goals when it comes to housework.  I have a hard time getting caught up on housework once life gets busy with school and other commitments.  This semester I want to stay on top of the cleaning so it doesn't get out of hand.  I know that if I don't set small goals for myself I tend to get overwhelmed and don't feel like doing anything at all, so I'll do one or two easy cleaning jobs a day, and that way I know it will all get done.

My class schedule this semester is fairly easy; I don't start classes till noon on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  My Tuesday/Thursday classes start at 8.  I want to get up at the same time every day, so I'll be getting up "early" on MWF and, ideally, have time to get a lot of things done those mornings.  Joshua has to be at class at the same time every day, 10:00.

An ideal morning for me this semester will look like this:
6:00 out of bed, get in shower
6:15 get dressed, do hair/makeup
6:30, get tea or coffee brewing, read my Bible at the kitchen table (this will give me incentive to get the kitchen all cleaned up before I go to bed)
7:00 start breakfast (I generally make quick breakfasts--oatmeal, eggs, or something I've prepared the night before).  On MWF I'll have time to make a bigger breakfast; probably on Tues/Thurs I'll eat by myself since Joshua doesn't have to leave as early as I do.
7:30 Tues/Thurs, get ready to leave for class.  I still plan on walking/biking a lot to school, even though we have the car now, but it's a 20-minute walk or a 10-minute bike, so that will give me time to get my backpack ready.
Mon/Wed/Fri: 7:30, write/publish a blog post.
8:30, pack lunch, finish tidying kitchen.
9:00, Wednesdays, get ready to leave (we'll go to chapel together on Wednesdays).
9:00, Mon/Fri, housecleaning and homework.
11:30, get ready to leave for class.

What I am NOT going to put into my schedule is any computer time other than blogging.  This weekend I'm planning on reorganizing my desk so I can put my computer away when I'm not using it, and thus cut down on the temptation to be on it so much.  I have plenty of free time during the day, when I'm already at school, to check email and Facebook.

The chores I want to accomplish weekly are:
-clean the bathroom
-clean the kitchen floor
-dust/declutter/vacuum the living room
-dust/declutter/vacuum the bedroom
-pick up/organize the closet

Daily chores will include getting the dishes all done and kitchen cleaned up, tidying my desk, and basic wiping down in the bathroom.

Monday mornings: bathroom, and kitchen floor
Tuesday afternoons (I'll get home around 4:15): pick up/organize the closet
Friday mornings: dust/declutter/vacuum living room and bedroom

This weekend I'm going to make a master chart with both of our daily schedules on it.  This will keep both of us on task, and that way we'll always know where the other one is going to be.

I'll keep you updated on how I do with this!  I'm excited and a little nervous, but I know how satisfying it will be if I can accomplish this.  My main reasons for setting this schedule for myself are so that I can {Focus} more on being in the Word, {Focus} on being a better homemaker, and {Focus} on using my time more productively.  I hope that this will also reduce my stress!

Please be praying for me and Joshua as we start this new semester!

The Privilege of Being His Witness

Joshua and I read in Matthew for our devotions this morning.  Part of the passage was the Great Commission in Matthew 28:

"Then Jesus came to [the disciples] and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'"  

Matthew 28:18-20

The account of Jesus' ascension in Acts 1 adds some more insight:

"[Jesus] said to [the disciples]: 'It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.  But you will receive power then the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.'" 

Acts 1:7-8

We are called to be Christ's witnesses, making disciples "of all nations."  For some Christians, that means going to faraway countries to preach the Gospel.  For others, that means witnessing for Jesus in our neighborhoods, workplaces and towns.  Jesus told the disciples they would be witnesses in Jerusalem--the city they were in at the time--and in Judea--the country where they were.

Being Christ's witnesses doesn't necessarily mean going to Africa or China or Russia to be a missionary.
It means sharing our faith in our daily lives, everywhere we go.

No believer has an excuse for NOT being a witness.

And no believer has to despair that they don't have the time, money or resources to become a missionary to a foreign country.

We are witnesses in the places and vocations in which God has placed us.

For me, that means I am a witness at home (yes, to my husband, even though he is a believer!), at school, at work, in my little town, and to my friends, acquaintances and others who read what I put on the internet every day.

(Have you ever thought of that?  Your Facebook posts, tweets, and blog posts are all part of your Christian witness!  How are you sharing the love of Christ through your online presence?)

These passages in Matthew and Acts are always a wake-up call for me.   It's a conviction: I need to be aware of how I'm witnessing Christ, and be intentional about it!  And it's also an encouragement: I have been given the incredible privilege of representing the God of the universe, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to every person I see each day.

How incredible is that?

My encouragement, to myself and to you, today is this:
Look for ways God has given you to witness him.
Be intentional at least once today about speaking the Gospel and the name of Jesus to someone you normally wouldn't.
Remember--God will give you the words to say, because His Holy Spirit is in your heart.


Linking up with these lovely ladies:
The Houtz House Party; New Life Steward; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home; Deep Roots at Home; Women Living Well

My Husband's Helper

In the first few days that this world existed, God looked at Adam, the human he had created, and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).

God had created many animals.  He brought them to Adam so that Adam could name them, and see if one of them would be a helper for him.  "But for Adam no suitable helper was found."

So God created the woman.


This was the helper suitable for the man.  This was the person with whom he would become "one flesh."  This was his perfect partner!

I'm smiling as I write this.  Because I know how twisted this truth has been.  "Women weren't created for men," some have said.  "We aren't supposed to take care of them.  They can take care of themselves!  Women should be able to do whatever they want, take care of their own lives, and not have to worry about men."

I beg to differ.

God created women to be the helpers of men.


This doesn't mean women are of any less importance than man!  On the contrary, Paul's words to the Galatians, inspired by the Holy Spirit, say this: "You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:26-28).

God created all human beings to be of equal worth in his sight.  We are all equally sinful and we are all equally saved and forgiven, and we are all equally loved by our Creator.

But we were created with different roles.


Men were created to take care of women, and women were created to be the helpers of men.
That doesn't make us weaker, although physically, most of us are.  But spiritually, emotionally, mentally, women are not weaker, they are just different!  Imagine how boring the world would be if women acted like men in everything, or vice-versa.

My role as a woman, as a wife, is to be my husband's helper.  The writer of Proverbs 31 said this about the "wife of noble character":

"A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."  -Proverbs 31:10-12

In what ways can I be my husband's helper, bringing him good, and not harm?

Surprisingly, it's not in ways I would expect.
Men consider help to be a different thing than women do.

For example, I thought it would be helpful if I placed mail, including bills, on my husband's desk so he would see them the first thing when he came home.  That way we would both know what was going on, we'd be on the same page, and there wouldn't be any confusion.
Well, my husband was already aware of the bills.  He didn't need that reminder when he came home from work tired and worn-out.  He knew what needed to be taken care of, but an unpleasant reminder like that was not helpful.
Some women might consider it helpful to rearrange their husband's dresser drawer, but their husband may well be frustrated to open his drawer and not know where everything is right away.
So what can I do to help my husband?  Here are a few things I've been learning:

1) Talk to him.  I'm no mind-reader, and although I can sometimes guess at what might be helpful for my husband, I've messed up enough times to know that my guesses aren't always correct.  So I ask my husband what he would like me to do, and in what ways I can be a helper for him.  This has included things like: let him sit quietly for a few minutes right when he comes home instead of bombarding him with talk right away; get his attention before telling him something important, especially if he's distracted; keep up with the laundry so he always has clean clothes to wear.

2) Listen to him.  This is almost more important than talking to him!  My husband has given me verbal hints in the past as to ways I could help him, and I wasn't paying attention so I missed them.  Men communicate in different ways than women do.  I need to be careful to pay closer attention when he talks so I can fully comprehend what he means, because I might not understand it in the way he wants me to.

3) Learn about him.  What are my husband's habits?  Does he need coffee before anything else in the morning?  Does he want to check his email as soon as he comes home?  Does he want a fresh towel in the bathroom every day?  Does he have a favorite food he would like to have once a week?  If I know what he usually does, I can predict ways that I can be helpful to him.
If he checks his email when he comes home every day, I can leave a love note on his computer to let him know I'm thinking of him--without getting in his face or talking to him too much.
If he's hungry when he comes home from work, I can have a snack out on the table already so he doesn't go digging in the fridge and eating tomorrow's supper.  (That's helpful for me, too!)
If he's running low on clean socks, I can do laundry today so he has clean clothes for tomorrow.

The ways a woman can be a helper to her man are as different as men are.  Talk to your husband.  Listen to him, and learn about him, so you can discover ways you can be his helper.

God created us women to have this role.  He will give us the strength, wisdom, and resources necessary to fill it to his glory and our husband's benefit.

What ways can you be a helper to your husband?  Share them in the comments!

Linking up:

Also linking up:  Raising Homemakers; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home; Deep Roots at Home; To Love, Honor and Vacuum; Women Living Well

My Greatest Desire

If you could do anything, be anything, what would it be?
If you could have one wish granted...what would you wish for?

Would you want to be a doctor?  An actor?  An artist?  The president of a Fortune-500 company?
A missionary?  Teacher?  Pastor?
All these are worthy callings.
But none of them (well, except missionary) have ever appealed to me.

I'll let you in on a secret--which you might already know about, if you've been here with me for a while.

The two things I've always wanted to be are a wife and mother.


There.  I said it.  If I could wish for anything, it would be to spend the rest of my life as a wife and mother.
Wife, check.
Mother...someday. :)

When I tell people this, I often get funny looks.  And questions like, "So why are you in college?"  (For the answer to that, read THIS POST.)  I'm at a small Christian university that, until just about fifteen or twenty years ago, was actually called a "Teachers' College."  And I'm not in the education program.  That puts me in a minority.

When I fill out applications for jobs and there are questions like, "What are your future goals?" or "How is this job preparation for your future career?" I shake my head and smile.  Because what I write is not what most people expect.

Since the 1970's, when feminism became popular and its influence filled nearly every household in America, it has been unusual and even strange for women to want to be full-time wives, mothers and homemakers.  For many women, it is absolutely necessary for their family's financial well-being that they work outside the home.  I'm sure there are many women in the workforce who wish they could stay home with their children.

But the fact that I have a choice, and I choose to stay home, is not nearly as common now as it used to be.

I'm blessed to have a husband who plans on helping me fulfill this dream.  On his (future teacher's) salary, we'll never have a lot of money, but we will never be wanting.  He supports me completely in my desire to be a full-time mother and homemaker.

I know that the profession of "homemaker" will not make me a lot of money.  It won't earn me much recognition in society.  My promotions--from mother of an infant, to a toddler, to a child, to a teen--won't increase my salary.  Learning new skills and perfecting the ones I have won't earn me a "Homemaker of the Month" plaque.

But love and appreciation from my husband and (future) children will be worth far more than that.  When I can look back on a life spent serving my family and those around me by being a godly wife, mother and homemaker, my greatest wish will have come true.

I don't have high aspirations or career goals according to the standards of society.  But when God created Eve he made her to be a helpmeet to her husband, to take care of the home in which God had placed them, and to be a loving mother to her children.  I like to think that God has given me the same jobs he gave the very first woman.  To fulfill them to the best of my ability, with his help and forgiveness, is my "dream job."

What about you?  To what vocation has God called you?

 

Why am I in college?

I've been thinking about writing this for some time, and I decided to do so in the hope that sharing my experiences might be encouraging to someone else.

I never really thought about not going to college.  I suppose that could be partly my parents' "fault," but I'm positive that if I had expressed a desire to not go to college, they would have fully supported me.  As it was, I didn't think about anything else.  I think that made it fairly clear that God wanted me to continue my formal education after high school.

I was in Indonesia my last semester of high school, so a lot of my final college plans took place via emails.  I originally planned to go to the university that I'm at now, but there's one in the same system that's about forty-five minutes from my hometown.  They were offering me more financial aid than this one in the beginning, and they had a major that I figured would work for me.  It wasn't exactly what I had been planning on, but it would do.  I decided I could at least go there for a couple of years.

However, in June of 2009 things changed.  The school I'm at now offered me more financial aid, which made the cost of the two schools equal.  With less than two months till the first day of school, I had to make a decision again.  I decided on my birthday, July 3, to come to this school.  Several things solidified that decision.  The director of the school's major choir called me from choir tour in Spain to see if I'd made my final decision.  A couple days later the president of the university emailed me to say he was very glad I had decided to attend.  (Granted, this is a school of about 1200 students.  It was still impressive.)  Finally, and most importantly, I felt a great peace about the decision.

I came here with plans to become a Director of Christian Education, a DCE.  My mom went to school to be one.  So did her brother, and my dad's dad.  (A DCE, by the way, usually works with a church's pastor to teach Bible studies, youth groups, Sunday school, confirmation classes, adult Bible studies, and other things within a congregation and sometimes in parochial schools.)  I had been interested in that ministry for a while, and felt that it was the most practical choice for me.

However, that all changed fairly quickly when I started dating Joshua, two weeks into the school year, and especially when we got engaged six months later.  He is planning on being a Lutheran high school teacher.  A DCE does much of their work in the evenings and weekends.  A teacher works during the day Monday through Friday.  We realized that, were we to both continue in the career paths we'd chosen, we would hardly see each other once we began working.

Neither one of us liked the sound of that.

So--after much thought, prayer, and conversation, I decided to not be in the DCE program.  It was not an easy decision, but I felt very much at peace once I'd made it.  I'm now double-majoring in English and Theology.  At a school where most people are either in education or pre-seminary programs if they're not athletes or scientists (and a lot of people are education and athletes or scientists), I get some funny looks.  Especially from older people.  "What, you're not education?  So what kind of career are you going to get with that major?"

Well, honestly, I plan on being a professional writer.  That's one of the main purposes for this blog: practice writing, and a way to get my name "out there" so when I do write a book there will (Lord willing!) be people who know and like how I write and want to actually read a book I've written.  (When that happens, I will let you know.)  I believe that God has gifted me with the ability to write, and I want to use it to honor and glorify him as well as I can.  I'd really like to write devotionals, Bible studies, and Christian fiction.  We'll see how that goes.

But the fact is, since I was very young I have wanted to be a wife, mother, author, teacher, and librarian.  Wife--check.  Author--working on it.  Librarian--sort of.  I help at the circulation desk at the campus library. :)  Mother--someday.  Teacher--of our future children.  None of those things requires a college education.

My mom was in college for seven years.  She worked professionally as a DCE for TWO.  She's been an at-home, homeschooling mom ever since--but she also teaches Sunday school, leads a moms' Bible study that meets every week (and has for years), is part of the marriage ministry team at their church along with my dad, sings in the church choir, and does a lot more, all volunteering--but all using the things she learned in college and in her life since then.

That's what I want to do.  (But not the seven years of college.  No thanks.)

I want to be my husband's ministry partner.  I want to implement the principles of Titus chapter 2, helping to teach, train, and encourage younger women as I get older and have more life experience.  I want to learn from women who are older and wiser than I.  I want to teach our future children about God and how much he loves them, and how they can love him.  I want to share the good news of Jesus with everyone in my life.

So...why am I in college?
Because God wanted me here.
After all, this is where I met my husband.  That's priceless.
Because, as my dad says, no education is ever wasted, no matter how much it costs.
And because God has work for me.  He has plans to teach and bless and shape me.  He has plans that I don't know a thing about...but he does.  And this is where he wants me to be at this point in my life.

Loved By God, Just the Way I Am

I've come to a place where I can accept, and like, the person I am.  I'm not exactly satisfied with that person, but maybe I'm not supposed to be.  There's always learning, growing, becoming to do.  God still has a lot to teach me, so "who I am" will never be completely finished.  I'm not a static being.  I don't like the word "evolving" (for the evolutionary connotations) but that's a fairly apt description for how I'm changing.

Part of the reason that we're not supposed to be quite comfortable in the skin we're in is that there's something more coming, something better--a glorified body.  One that's sinless.  Flawless.  Perfect.

That's a weird concept...to think of myself as perfect.  Because I am so not.  I beat myself up a lot--figuratively, of course--about my imperfections.  The list is long: selfishness, thoughtlessness, faithlessness, worry, discontent. I could go on.  But I've come to terms with the fact that I'm going to stay sinful, and there's no use fretting about it.

That is NOT to say I shouldn't try not to sin!  There are a lot of bad habits I could and should work on breaking.  There are so many things I have yet to learn.

But God won't love me any more, if and when I try to become a better person, than he does right now.  He can, will, and does use even my worst faults for his own purposes.  He gives me jobs to do for his kingdom. He loves me unconditionally, and forgives me constantly.  I'm beautiful and holy in his eyes--so who am I to put myself (or others) down?  We're all worth more than that.  We're priceless: creations of the God of the universe.

That's another huge concept to try to wrap my mind around, but when it comes down to it, that is what is most humbling and most encouraging to me.
The GOD
of the universe
loves/made/forgives/redeemed
      ME.

Sounds insane. It should be.  But it's true.  And that's what gives me hope, purpose, joy, life!  Being a child of God is the greatest blessing in life.  I'm more thankful for this than anything else.

Compared to him, my flaws are pretty minor.  They're not to big for him to handle.  They do't get in the way of his love for me.  And-
Nothing.
Ever.
Will.

Yes. This is what I want for my life.

The other day I was doing dishes and I had a sudden thought:

I wish I could do this--cooking, cleaning, homemaking--all the time.  I'd be perfectly happy doing nothing more than being a wife and homemaker, and someday a mother, for the rest of my life.


I really meant that!  I have no higher ambition, but at the same time, it's quite a high ambition.  I mean, think about it:
Wife=24/7/365 job.
Mother=24/7/365 job.
Homemaker=24/7/365 job.
That adds up to more than a 40-hour workweek!

And the benefits of each job are eternal.  I am serving God in all three vocations (or I will be, anyway, when I become a mother.  And I'm starting to get the mommy bug.  I know, I know, not till after graduation...but I can still hardly wait. ;) ).  In each vocation I'm having a spiritual, eternal impact on someone: husband, children, friends and family.

Through blessing my husband and supporting him I'll be blessing and supporting others, as he serves God in his future vocation of teacher.  In raising our future children to love, honor, serve and believe in God, I will have been an instrument in leading more people to salvation and eternal life in heaven--and they in turn will (prayerfully) do the same for their spouses and children.  In creating a home where my family feels at peace and where others feel welcome, I will create a place where, by God's grace, the Holy Spirit will dwell and where we can share the love of God with everyone who comes through our door.

If that's not a job with lasting benefits, I don't know what is.

What's more, I'm thrilled at the thought of carrying out these vocations in my life.  As it is right now, I wish I had time to be at home more, cooking and cleaning and organizing.  Sometimes I get quite frustrated when work, classes, and homework take time away from what I want to be doing at home.  Of course, at this particular time in my life, 'student' and 'employee' are two of my God-given vocations and I do try to do my best at them in order to honor him.  (Sometimes I don't try as well as I could with school, but hey, I have priorities!)

I do want to become a writer, too, lest anyone question my reasoning for being in college right now!  I know that I can serve God with the education that I'm getting, and I hope to use the talents he's given me to be a blessing to others someday.

I know that this is part of God's plan for my life.  I know, also, that he has things in mind for me that I can't even begin to imagine, and that what I wants isn't necessarily always what he wants!!  He knows what's best for me, though, and I know he will work out things for good in my life.

It's just so encouraging and exciting to be so happy about my future, and to know what I want to do with it.  I know to some people it doesn't seem like much, but to me, it's the best thing in the world.

Womanly, Godly Accomplishment: What is it?

Anne over at the Modern Mrs. Darcy is looking to "redefine the accomplished woman."  (Click the link to see her post about it!)  It got me to thinking: what is an accomplished woman?  More importantly, what does God consider an accomplished woman?

Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 both describe what it means to be a godly woman.  A godly woman submits to her husband as she does to the Lord (Ephesians 5), provides food and clothing for her family, takes care of the home, is a hard worker and not lazy, trusts in God above all things, and is a credit to her husband and family.

God doesn't say that he wants all women to work at home, and he doesn't require all women to be wives and mothers.  Now, it's assumed that women work at home, partially because that's just how it was in the Bible and was for centuries; only recently has it become accepted and expected that women work outside the home.

Personally, I believe that one of the most God-honoring and productive "jobs" a woman can have is to be a wife, mother and homemaker.  She can serve God and others in so many ways!  However, I do not by any means condemn the woman who works outside the home, either by choice or by necessity.  She, too, is providing for her family, helping to take care of the home, and is a credit to her husband and children.

Nor do I condemn the woman who chooses to remain single or who chooses to not have children.  I believe it is best for women to marry and bear children, but neither is it wrong to do otherwise.  Children are a great blessing from the Lord, but some people may choose not to become parents, and that is absolutely fine.  They will have opportunity to make a difference in the lives of many people, both children and adults.  And the woman who remains single is able to focus more directly on serving God in whatever vocation he has placed her, without the distractions of husband or children.

The point I am trying to make is that there is no one definition of womanly, godly accomplishment.  I believe that each person has their own unique God-given vocation, so accomplishment is as unique to a person as their vocation.  An accomplished woman is one who fulfills her vocation to the best of her ability, with the help of God, no matter what it is.

That is the woman I seek to become.

Back to Work!

Tonight I went back to working at the school cafeteria.  As weird as it sounds, I was thrilled.  For a couple reasons.  One, I'm able to now contribute more to the family income.  Two, I love serving and feeding people.  Three, I was really excited to see friends from school again.  This summer has been wonderful, but I haven't had many friends in town.  Now they're all back, and I couldn't be happier!!

I think God put in all people a desire to work, and a sense of satisfaction from a job, any job, well done.  Yeah, making sandwiches for people and then sweeping a cafeteria floor isn't a very glamorous job.  But hey, I'm helping fill a basic daily necessity for people, that of the need to eat.  And more importantly, I can give them a cheerful smile, a friendly "Hey, how are you?  What can I get you?" and a wholesome sandwich to eat.  :)

I firmly believe that as believers we can share the love of Christ simply by being kind, friendly and cheerful to those around us, even when they aren't kind, friendly or cheerful.  I have some coworkers that are sometimes hard to get along with.  But that doesn't change how I act toward them.  I am so filled with the love and joy of Jesus that it just spills out onto those around me.  I try hard to be encouraging and cheerful, because it makes other people happy when I do.  Joy is contagious: I want to spread it! :)

I'm tired, now, but it's that good weariness that comes after working hard. Granted, I worked for, what, four hours and fifteen minutes?  But it's the longest stretch of being on my feet that I've had all summer!!  I've been plenty busy at home, but dishes and toilet-scrubbing aren't exactly strenuous jobs. :)

God has given me work, for which I am thankful.  Now I just want to serve Him as best I can in the jobs and vocations he's given me.  I'm so glad that wife and homemaker are at the top of the list of those vocations!!

One of My Passions: Homeschooling

No, I'm not a mom yet, but I am a proud veteran of ten years of homeschooling and a homeschool high school graduate!  I just had a (facebook) chat with a blogging friend who's a wife and mama and had some questions about homeschooling.  I realized I've mentioned homeschooling before, but never wrote about it much.  It's high time to share this important part of my life!!  Here's my side of the conversation, edited slightly.

My parents' philosophy was that they wanted their children to learn ABOUT the world but not be IN it while learning about it. They wanted to teach their children (my siblings and me) what God says about the world, how we should live, and what we should believe.  This is Biblical!  In the book of Deuteronomy God says, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about then when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 11:18-19).

My parents wanted to be the primary influence on their kids, instead of having peers and other non-family be the primary influence. After all, who knows children better than their parents?  Who cares about children more than their parents?  When parents are in charge of their children's education, they determine what and how their children learn and at what pace. Parents can certainly expose their children to other people, experiences, and places; homeschooling one's children doesn't mean those children have to be sheltered.

In fact, homeschooling provides opportunities for children to have experiences that public school doesn't. For example, I was in a community choir, church choir, and a homeschool co-op group; I visited Hong Kong my freshman year of high school, went on youth trips, had time for a job during the school year in high school, and spent the last half of my senior year in Indonesia.

Of course, being sheltered is certainly not necessarily a bad thing. Between media, peer influences, and just the way the world is in general, I WANT my children to be sheltered until they're old and mature enough to handle what the world will throw at them. In a storm, shelter is a VERY good thing.

Just as I wouldn't put my child outside in inclement weather without proper protection and preparation, I don't want my children exposed to "the world" till they're ready to deal with it.  Do I ever wish I had gone to a public or parochial school?  Never. I am so very thankful that I was homeschooled.  Did I "miss out" on some experiences that my regular-schooled friends had? Yes, thing like peer pressure, being away from my family all the time, exposure to drugs, alcohol, sex and violence, etc, etc, etc.  My friends went on cool trips. So did I. They were in choir and other school activities. So was I.  I didn’t miss out on the good stuff.

What most people mean when they say they don't want their kids to be "sheltered” is that they don’t want them to not have friends and lots of different experiences. The biggest question homeschoolers get is "What about socialization?" Well, what about it?  I interacted with people of all ages for my whole childhood. I became comfortable taking care of little children and having mature conversations with adults. That was better preparation for the real world than spending my childhood surrounded by peers who were just as immature as I was.  Some homeschooling parents do their kids a disservice by keeping them at home all the time. That's not a good thing.  Smart parents will provide opportunities for their children to make friends, have new experiences, and meet different kinds of people.

If you’re a stay-at-home parent, you’re already “homeschooling.” That means you are your child’s primary influence, not some daycare director and a bunch of other kids.

You're teaching him everything he knows, providing opportunities for him to meet new people and learn about the world around him. You're exposing her to new things as well as protecting her from things that she's not ready to experience.  That IS homeschooling. 

I’m forever thankful that my parents chose to educate me at home.  It paid off in so many ways and was completely worth it.  Not only have I had many amazing experiences, but I’ve had opportunities to make lifelong friends, and I got an excellent education and good grades on top of it!  I’ve barely touched on the positive academic aspect of homeschooling, but I’ll save that for another post!

Where am I called to witness?

For our devotions last night and this morning, Hubby and I read from Acts 1 and 2.  Just before his ascension, Jesus told the disciples, "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth" (Acts 1:8).

To give myself some perspective, I did a little research.  The country of Israel is about 7,992 square miles.  The square mileage of Nebraska is 77,358 square miles.  In other words, you could fit about nine and a half Israels in Nebraska.
The farthest Paul went on his missionary journeys was from Jerusalem to Rome.  The distance from Jerusalem to Rome (in a straight line) is about 1500 miles.  The distance from San Francisco to Chicago is about 1800 miles.

I've always wanted to figure out these comparisons.  Turns out Paul didn't go very far, and the disciples did most of their work in their own (very small) country.  My husband noted this while we were reading: that we shouldn't feel like we have to travel thousands of miles to a distant country to tell people about Jesus.  If one gets the opportunity to do so, that's great!  (I have done that myself...perhaps sometime I'll write about my five months in Indonesia.)  There are millions of people around the world who haven't heard about Jesus.  It's an incredible thing when they get to hear the Gospel because someone made the effort to go tell them.

However, not all Christians are called to go to great lengths to witness about Jesus Christ.  We don't have to wait to go on a mission trip to start telling people about Jesus. Instead, we can be Christ's witnesses in our own homes, neighborhoods, and towns.  We can share the love of Jesus with friends and family and other guests in our homes.  We can live out our Christian faith as we run errands, serve and volunteer in our neighborhoods, and go about our daily work and business.

Sometimes I feel like because I'm rather secluded here at home I'm not able to do much in sharing my faith.  That's really not true!  We have friends over at least once a week, for a meal or just for a visit.  In those times I can love them like Jesus loves them, by serving them, being kind, and being encouraging.  I am a witness to the love and grace of Christ every day to my husband (and he's told me so!).  I can reflect the love of Christ in the way I act and speak when I'm out in public.  I don't have to go to a foreign country to do that.

Christ has called us to serve him wherever we are in our lives.  In every vocation, he gives us the opportunity to be his witnesses.  Whether that vocation is businessman, teacher, truck driver, factory worker, pastor, secretary, or mother and homemaker, we have countless opportunities to share the love of Jesus with whoever is around us and part of our lives.

Where am I called to witness?  Right where I am.

Cleaning House, Serving God

I think this logical progression makes sense (if it's not very scientific):

All things belong to God.
Our house and everything in it are things.
Therefore, our house and everything in it belong to God.
God's possessions should be treated well, not wasted, and taken care of.
Therefore, I should be a good steward with my house and everything in it, because it is all God's.
Therefore, taking care of my house is serving God because it is taking care of things that are his.

Sometimes, I'll be honest, doing dishes and cleaning the toilet don't feel very spiritual.  But even dishes and toilets belong to God, and taking care of them is also beneficial for the upkeep of our physical bodies!  In the same way, dusting, mopping, and tidying up are all good for our physical well-being and are good stewardship of the things God has given us.

Also, having a clean house is good for my and my husband's spirits, our emotional health.  Going into the bedroom and seeing it clutter-free, bed made, floor vacuumed, makes me smile!  (Especially because I REALLY try to keep our bedroom a sanctuary, free from the chaos that sometimes takes over the rest of the house.)

Because we like having friends and family come visit, having the house clean and in order is a silent witness to the fact that we're taking care of what God has given us.  It also creates a relaxing, homey, comfortable place for our friends and family to be, thereby blessing them also.

Taking care of my home and making delicious, healthful (usually) meals for myself and my husband is also fulfilling my God-given vocation of homemaker.  (That also partially fulfills my primary vocation of "wife" but there are other things that are part of that vocation!)

I like to bless my husband.  Having a yummy, attractive meal on the table when he comes home to a clean, organized house makes it easier for him to relax and gives us more time to be together.  It also makes me more apt to spend time with him because I've gotten housework done while he was at work.

However, I've been learning to quiet my inner neat freak and put aside dishes or bedmaking to spend time with my hubby when he IS home, because time with him is far more precious than a clean kitchen.  It's all about priorities.  :)

Now writing this, I feel like doing one of two things: finishing the dishes, or inviting my husband to play a game.  I think I'll choose the latter.  :)

Living Intentionally

I've been thinking about something, and I'm just going to type and see what happens.

I know that God places at times and places in our lives for a reason, or at the very least, he works in our lives to accomplish his purposes even if/when things we do are contrary to his will for us.

I don't have a (paying) job yet--I've been keeping busy at home, and I have plenty of things to do to fill my days.  But it's been frustrating, not being able to make money.  I've applied at a couple places, and I know I need to apply elsewhere as well.

But it's been making me wonder, am I using my time well, even though I don't have a job?  Am I using my time to serve others and by doing so serve the Lord?  Am I using extra free time to be in fellowship with him?  Am I living my life intentionally, for a purpose, or am I just 'winging it' and kind of flying by the seat of my pants?

It feels like that sometimes, although the days are settling into a routine of sorts.  I cook.  I clean.  I go shopping for groceries.  I do laundry every week.  I keep the house in order.  But that list looks so pathetic when I actually see it written out.

We had friends over last night.  We're having some young people from our church here tonight, going to a movie and having them here for games and cookies, one other thing I need to do this afternoon (bake).
I try to have the house in order and myself looking nice when my husband comes home from work.
I don't have many friends in town right now, but I'm trying to keep in touch with the ones that are.  We see hubby's family at least once every couple weeks.

So, I'm trying, to have a purpose in life right now, and to glorify God in what I'm doing.  My vocation at this moment is to be a wife and homemaker, and although that might seem like a short list of responsibilities, I'm trying to do my very best at them to be a blessing to my husband first and foremost, and everyone else we come in contact with as well.

I feel like I'm defending myself...to myself.  Which I shouldn't have to.  Maybe I'm just trying to figure out what it is I'm doing and why.  But I know that even the in simplest things that I do to serve others, I'm serving God.  By loving my husband I'm loving our God who made him and who gave us to each other.  Feeding friends is like having Christ at my table.  What a blessing, what an honor it is, to serve God in these vocations he's given me!!!  Thank you Jesus :)

A Homemaker and Proud of It

Here I am in my kitchen, in my apron, with that big sunny window behind me.  Not the greatest picture, but not terrible for using the timer on the camera propped on the top of the fridge.  :)

I really do love having a home to take care of, for me and for my husband.  Some women--probably a lot of women--would look at me strangely for saying that.  But this is my vocation right now: wife, homemaker.  Hopefully another job will be part of that very soon.  I had a phone interview for a job the other day (didn't work because of scheduling) and one of the questions was "What are your career goals?"  I almost laughed.  I've wanted to be a full-time homemaker and at-home mom since I was five years old.  I want to write, too, but that's secondary.  So then some people would say I'm crazy for going to college and getting a degree and spending so much money.  My dad told me that no learning is ever wasted (no matter how much it cost!).  So I'm proud to say that my goal in life is to be a God-honoring, servant-hearted wife, mom and homemaker.  

Does that make me unusual in this age and society?  Yep.  But then, my whole life has been counter-cultural and I go by God's standards, not the world's.  My nickname at camp was Sonshine.  "You are the light of the world," Jesus said in the verse from Matthew I picked to go with the nickname.  We as Christians are called to stand out, to conform to God and not to the world, to be a light reflecting the glory of God.  So, yes, I'm a homemaker, and I'm proud to say so!

Vocation: God at Work in Me

With ten minutes till my next class, I just wanted to post part of what we discussed in my last class, Faith and Life.  We're reading the book "God at Work" by Gene Edward Vieth, and discussing what vocation means for us.

To me, vocation is the gifts, responsibilities, and roles that God has given me in order that he might accomplish his purposes through me.  Those could be the gifts of writing and encouragement, the responsibilites of student and employee, and the roles of fiance, daughter, and friend.  In all of these, God works through me to bless others.  And in the same way, I am blessed through others' vocations.

A vocation is a means by which God is glorified through me.  There are as many vocations as there are people, really, and that's part of how Christians are the body of Christ.  One could use the analogy of a machine or a body to envision how each member has their own unique role and job, and they all work together to accomplish God's purposes.  As members of the body, I can't do the same things everyone else can, and others can't do all the things I can.  But we are each called to do our part as well as we can, by God's grace, and through us his work is done.

For my life, this means doing the best I can at everything to glorify God.  I work hard at my studies, I am a good worker at my job, I live my roles as fiance, daughter, sister and friend the best I can.  But the wonderful thing about that is, even when I sin and don't do as well as I could, God can still work through me.  God's purposes being accomplished doesn't depend on my doing everything perfectly.  God can work through me despite me.  It reminds me, again, of Romans 8:28: God works ALL things out for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose.  (The word "vocation", incidentally, comes from the Latin word "vocatio" which means "calling".)  Even when Satan tries his hardest to accomplish his purposes, God can work through that and use even bad things to accomplish great good.  Even though I am a sinful being, God is not bound my humanity and uses me for his work, by his grace.

Today, I am going to remember that I am a called child of God, and I have the honor of serving him through all my vocations, and that God works through me no matter what.