Trusting in God, who gives me what I REALLY need.

I was reading part of the book of Job today.  I want to read more the rest of the day, and then go over it again in the next few days.

Reading Job is at once humbling and encouraging.  "Who are you," God (basically) asks Job, "to think that you can criticize me or judge me for the way I do things?  Were you there when the universe was created?  Do you control the weather?  Do you know how everything holds together? NO.  So let me be God and you just trust me to take care of you."  That kind of sums up the several chapters of God lecturing Job.

That really got me thinking.  A journal/scrapbook my friend Sara made for me includes several quotes, pictures, poems, Scripture verses, etc, with room for me to add my own.  At the top of the first page it says "Psalm 103."  I looked that up and read it, and came across this verse:

"The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love."  Psalm 103:8

He is ALWAYS compassionate and gracious.  That doesn't change, ever.  It's not necessarily our definition of compassionate and gracious.  But God always shows us his perfect love.  I wrote at the bottom of that page in the journal,

"Trust in God is not conditional.  He doesn't say, 'Trust me when things are going well.  Trust me if you have everything you think you need.  Trust me when life is easy.'  No.  Trust is based on faith, and faith trusts always.  God says, 'Trust Me.'  Period."

Jon Acuff wrote on his blog today,

"Since the dawn of time, the enemy has tried to play just one trick.

Though it has a thousand different variations and a million different manifestations, it boils down to the same lie every time.

God is not good.

He's holding out on you.

There is something more you are missing.

Time and again, this is the trick the enemy comes back to."

I commented on the post,

"So true. God always blesses us. Not in the ways we THINK we need blessing. Not usually in the ways we expect. But he gives us what HE knows we need.
I'd add one thing. God never guaranteed that following him would be easy. We ARE called to give up ourselves when we follow him. The disciples gave up everything in order to be Jesus' disciples.
But they never went without food. They never went without shelter. They always had clothes. They always had what they NEEDED. But life wasn't easy. 

I've been realizing lately that the best gifts God gives aren't ones with monetary value. They're things like family. Friendship. Being hugged and kissed by one's spouse. A sweet summer breeze. Love. And most importantly, God's forgiveness, love, and grace. When a person has all that...what more do they really need?"

My mother-in-law posted a verse of a beloved hymn on my facebook wall this morning:

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus;
look full in his wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of his glory and grace."


When life is frustrating and confusing...when circumstances are out of our control...when things seem hopeless and there is no end in sight...

We can trust God.
Because he is always good and he always has our bests interests in mind.
And in the meantime...
we can focus on what he's already given us.
Because it's SO much.
We already have everything we need.
And when we focus on Christ,
the things of this world seem less important.
Because they are less important.

When we have Christ, and his love, forgiveness, mercy and grace... (and we do)...
we have all we need.

 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time."  -1 Peter 1:3-5

what my friends teach me about God

"I have found that - amidst laughing, crying, sharing - it is in conversations with people I care about that God tends to reveal some of his most profound truths and realize his love most powerfully."

My friend Sara wrote that.  (She just started a new blog, and this is me giving her free advertising, because she's wonderful and a fantastic writer and you should follow her.)   She is so right.  She's one of the people with whom I have that kind of conversation, on a regular basis.  Our visit last week was like a three-day conversation of that type.  It was absolutely wonderful.

In the previous week or so, I've had talks with several lovely people that helped me realize some amazing truths about God and the way he works in our lives.
Emily.
Sara.
Brett and Ashton.
Lisa, and Nora.
Joshua.

Some things these people have helped me realize:

God gives us friends to help us know that we're not alone in this crazy thing called life.  No matter how unique our circumstances might be, there is always someone who understands something about us, and can relate and sympathize and comfort us.  We all have so much in common, if we just take the time to talk and figure it out.

Marriage, when done God's way, is one of the most glorious experiences this temporal life can offer.  It is a beautiful picture of the relationship God desires with his people, his Church.  It is never perfect because we are all sinful people, but God's forgiveness and love are life-changing, and life-giving to marriage.

God provides for us constantly, and in ways that we might not expect.  Sometimes he asks for our teamwork, like with a garden.  We plant, he grows, we reap, we give thanks.  Green things coming from seeds buried in damp dirt are a miracle.

It is good to always keep a glimmer of the little-girl in me.  That glimmer emerges when I have handmade Barbie clothes placed in my lap, and when I give the voice to a little-girl Barbie doll whose mother-doll is moved about by a five-year-old.

Why shouldn't I get as excited by little things in life as a small child?  Things like dolls and dinosaurs and rocks that are really dinosaur eggs and a butterfly garden all my own.  Thank you, Nora, for what you teach me.

I am not a failure.  We all sometimes feel like one.  Satan has dirt on all of us, that he waves in our face and accuses gleefully, "Look at all you've done wrong.  Look at all these roles you have that you haven't filled properly.  Look at all the ways you've messed up."  We can tell Satan off, because we don't have to listen to that junk.  My mother used to tell me, "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."  That's in the Bible, I learned eventually, and it's not my mother's words.  It's GOD'S.  "I am baptized into Christ," Sara and I sang together while doing dishes last week.  I have the Holy Spirit living in my heart.  I am a saved, forgiven and loved child of God.  There's nothing Satan can hold against me, because Jesus destroyed all my sins on the cross.

In fact, I am beautiful.  I am a good wife.  My husband tells me this over and over; perhaps that will help me believe it better.  I am a good cook, thank you Jordan for reminding me of that last week.  Despite those rare instances when the lasagna has waxed paper on the bottom because I didn't have any tin foil to line the pan.  Thank you Brett and Ashton for being such good sports.  The lasagna tasted fantastic anyway.

Sara and Emily and a handful of precious others tell me I am a good friend.  I do try.  I think half the time I take over the conversation with my confounded habit of talking too much.  But I do hope I'm understanding, encouraging, and loving.  I'm working on being a better listener.  Stick with me, girls.  I'll get there.  Being a good friend to you is the least I can do for the incredible blessing you are to me.

My husband is the dearest man in the world.  This isn't something anyone has taught me, I'm just realizing it myself more and more every day.  I could go on and on about how wonderful he is, but I don't want to embarrass him.  He doesn't like the spotlight, and that's okay.  Suffice it to say that he is wise, caring, understanding, and loving, in a myriad of ways, and I am blown away by the blessing he is to me.


I hope I can have more "laughing, crying, sharing" conversations with people this week.  I hope you can, too.  How has God blessed you through the people in your life?

 

don't worry, be {thankful}

One of the biggest ways the devil tries to trip me up in life is by getting me to worry.  If you read my ramblings here much at all you probably know that.

The biggest thing I have to worry about most of the time is money.  How can we make more?  Can we start setting money aside for a new car?  How can I afford to get my husband something for our anniversary next week?  And on and on.

I KNOW several things:

1) God always provides.

2) God knows what I need.

3) God will not let us be destitute.

4) In comparison to millions of people, we have a lot.

5) We have never gone hungry, never gone without electricity, never been without a home, clothes, or anything important.

6) God specifically says in his Word, "Do not worry" (Matthew 6:25).

I know all that.  I know how blessed we are.  But sometimes it's really hard to not worry...after all, I'm a sinful person.

The other night I was worrying, again, about money (as usual).  We were already in bed, and I started freaking out a little.  My wonderful (amazing, wise, loving, caring, sweet) husband reassured me in so many ways.  He reminded me how God has always provided in the past.  He came up with ideas of ways to stretch the money we do have (we're still taking a little anniversary getaway!!!).  He sang me a little song, the lyrics of which are Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future."  I know those words were told to the Israelites, but I know they apply to me as well.

It meant so much to me that my husband did this, especially because when I worry (particularly when it's out loud), it hurts him, too--it communicates that I don't trust God or my husband to take care of me.  Worrying is my way of trying to be in control...but as a child of God and a wife I am not supposed to be in control!  I am supposed to submit to and trust both God and my husband to care for me.

That doesn't mean I sit back and don't do anything to help.  Just this week I worked a seven-hour workday between my cleaning and my library jobs.  I keep busy at home.  I do my best to save us money.  And God blessed us this week with lots of food from our dear friends who are moving away.

So I guess what I'm saying in all this rambling is...I'm working on it.  The whole not-worrying-just-trusting thing.  And being thankful.  Because that's what it comes down to: when I'm thankful, I'm not worrying; I'm remembering all that God has done for me.  And it is so much!

{things I'm thankful for this week}

-rain.  finally.  for all the farmers around here who need it so much.

-an amazing, although whirlwind, weekend with my family for my brother's graduation.

-a surprise visit from my best high school friend while we were at my parents'!!  it was AWESOME!!

-waking up to a clean house every day.  finally getting the hang of this thing.

-a newly stocked fridge, freezer and pantry from our friends' fridge, freezer and pantry!

-amazing friends.  Ruth and Joseph.  Love them so much...going to miss them so much (but they'll be back!)

-coffee and doughnuts today, with hubby and then R&J before they left

-quiet mornings at home

-forty followers!  amazing! thanks all!!

-300+ posts...can't believe how far I've come with this blogging thing

-my incredible, hardworking, sweet, sexy, loving husband

-God's constant love, forgiveness and grace

linking up with all these lovely blogs today!

The Habit of Joy

I'm trying some new things this year.

One of them is starting a gratitude journal: I'm going to write out my One Thousand Gifts this year.  And I started today, in a beautiful new journal from a friend.

Something else I'm doing in relation to that is the Joy Dare from Ann Voskamp, writer of One Thousand Gifts.  As an encouragement, a challenge, Ann has a list (the Joy Dare link above) of blessings to look for each day.  I'm going to challenge myself to do this and to blog every day about that day's blessings, as well as recording at least five blessings a day in my gratitude journal.  I'm also going to start reading Ann's book.

Today, January 6, Epiphany: "One thing in your bag, your fridge, your heart."

I haven't been using a purse or a backpack much in the last couple of weeks.  But starting Monday I'll be hoisting my red backpack again, full of books, notebooks, a sack lunch.  Those notebooks: places to record what I'm learning.  What I'm being taught.  What God is showing me.

My fridge: is full, thanks to a recent grocery shopping.  One thing in there that I especially love is those little clementine oranges, the "Cuties."  They're so sweet, so juicy, so fun to eat!  And I get them all to myself because Hubby doesn't like oranges. ;)

My heart: is convicted.  Is reassured.  Convicted that I need to trust.  Reassured that I don't have to do it alone.  Reassured that I will be taken care of, provided for, blessed--by the One who loves me more than I can imagine, and by my husband, who also relies on the Creator for all things.


I'm excited to develop these habits of thankfulness and joyfulness--and writing. :)

Lessons and Happy Things

Update on the car situation:
The Camero needed too many repairs to be worth it.  Our trusty mechanic advised against the purchase.
Hubby looked at another car last night (at the moment I don't remember what it is).  It's a 1993 but in better shape than the Camero, has been owned by an adult who took it to the same mechanic we go to for repairs, and it only needs tires and brake pads instead of a kajillion other repairs.  (Well, the Camero didn't need that much, but it was close.)  So: chances are better that this will be the car.  Plus it won't wake the neighbors with the unholy racket that the Camero makes!  And I think it's prettier and more sensible-looking. :)

I am proud of my husband.  He spent most of his day "off" yesterday figuring out car stuff, plus he cleaned up the living room so it looks waaay better than it has in weeks, and he made the bed.  I forgot how nice it is to crawl into a bed that hasn't had the covers balled up all day.  In my free time yesterday I finally- FINALLY- mopped the kitchen floor and cleaned most of the bathroom.  Our house now feels sanitary again.  It's fantastic.

We had friends over (Ruth and Joe) for supper--I made nachos.  Or taco salad, depending on the ratio of lettuce to everything else.  It's one of my favorite meals ever, and it was SO. GOOD.  And then Ruth made chocolate chip cookies.  It was a great evening.

This whole car business is really teaching me trust (again) and patience (even more).  I was chatting with a classmate yesterday, a lovely young lady with a chronic disease (I don't know much about it except that it causes her a lot of pain and makes her very tired).  She's undergoing blood transfusions to combat it.  Yesterday she explained to me that there's a chance she could go into remission, but she'll be fighting the disease for the rest of her life.  One might expect such a sick person to be reclusive, depressed, angry, or bitter.  Emma is none of these things.  She's cheerful, happy, encouraging, sweet, joyful, and has a fantastic boyfriend and lots of supportive friends.  She told me that God has been teaching her how to trust him through this ordeal, and that he's faithful always, even in the midst of the pain.  She is such an example to me, and to so many others.

My mom sent me an email this morning that included these passages from Scripture:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if
anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things...And
the God of peace will be with you...And my God will meet all your
needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.  To our God and
Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen."  Philippians 4: 8-9, 19-20

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in
every good work...Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for
food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge
the harvest of your righteousness.  You will be made rich in every way
so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your
generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."  2 Corinthians 9: 8, 10-11
I am so thankful for my husband, my family, my friends and acquaintances; our home, our health, our jobs, our education.  I am thankful for the ways that God constantly blesses us, for the ways he continually expresses his love for us, for the grace he daily bestows on us.

overwhelmed by grace

No details are really necessary, but let's just say...
an unexpected struggle came right before an unexpected blessing
and the two balance each other out.

God provides.
He always provides.
Before we need it.
Right when we need it.
And in His perfect timing.

Resting in this blessed knowledge today.

Blessings this Thursday

Lipstick on the edge of the cup that held a "Caramel Royal" (aka a Caramel Machiatto!).

Reading my story, aloud, to a whole class.  Encouragement from our professor.

A poetry presentation.  Feeling confident and prepared in front of the room.  Insights from classmates that I never would have thought of.

Laughter at the beginning of philosophy: grammar-related.  A funny email that the professor shared with us. :)

Sitting downstairs (instead of in the balcony) with a beloved teacher for chapel.

Unexpected income from babysitting.

A blustery, leaves-in-the-air autumn day.

Rain and sunshine, chill and warmth, clouds and blue skies, all in the same day.

The joy and singing of a four-year-old.

Sandwiches and chocolate for lunch (thanks to my awesome hubby).

Ten extra hours of work this week: extra income.  Financial breather.

Good health.  Healing hubby.

My husband suggested that I get a new dress for the homecoming dance.  I'm going "thrifting" with a friend to get it. :) <3

Work.  An education.

Home.  Bed.  Kitchen.


So many more...so many gifts.  All is grace.



linking up to black tag diaries for Thankful Thursday!

Stressed but Blessed

That's what I said to a friend on facebook today.  I'm stressed but blessed.

You don't need to hear my current list of stressers.  It's a mile long and I don't really want to remind myself.  I will boldly ask for prayers for my sick husband, however!!

I've had two different friends today give me comfort, encouragement and a reality check.  Not to mention hugs and the reassurance that it's okay to cry.  Thanks, guys: you know who you are.  They reminded me that it's all about perspective: things could be a lot worse, and I have SOOOOO much to be thankful for.  They were reminders themselves of how blessed I am.  God has put the most amazing friends into Joshua's and my lives, and lately I've been running into them exactly when I needed to hear what they had to say.  God, you're awesome.

Anyway, so the things I have to be thankful for, to put my life back into perspective:

Joshua could be much more sick. Or he could have had to skip work today instead of just class. He's able to take time to rest, which he really needs. And since he's home sick, we won't be doing much this weekend. I can't wait.

The weather lately has been gorgeous. I love walking to and from school every day, and the sunshine lifts my spirits.

Financially, God continues to provide: perhaps not in the ways I want him to, but in the ways he knows are best.

We eat so well. Even on a budget. :)

I LOVE my job at the library. It's hardly work at all. Usually it's a time to take a breath, relax, and chat with the amazing people I work with.

God is gracious, forgiving, and loving every day, no matter what.

Joshua and I got our papers DONE last night that were due this morning, and we both felt good about the end results.

I have an amazing husband and I have the honor and privilege of loving him and caring for him. I can't wait to go home to him this evening. :)

Whew. I feel so much better now. Seriously, whenever you're having a rough day and/or feeling sorry for yourself and/or feeling like everything that could go wrong is going wrong...count your blessings. God is so amazing.

Joy and peace to you this day, in His Name!!

A Day of Rest...and Productivity

Sleeping in this morning.  Necessary after a late night with friends and then with my husband.  :)

Homemade oatmeal-bread-toast and tea for breakfast!

Smiles and tears in church, joy and tragedy (a plane crashed at the local airport this morning), thankfulness and blessings, the Word spoken and sung.

Easy, yummy, filling lunch.  Doing the dishes together.  Getting the kitchen into a little better order.  (It never ends...)

Spontaneous romance.

Walking to work, hand in hand, such a cool and wonderful sunny day!!

Making pizza for several hundred people, with a lovely young lady, discovering a connection we didn't know we had.

Legs and feet throbbing after work, but thankful for the exercise, the ability to move and work.

A hot, long, soothing, refreshing shower.  Bliss.

Hubby laying out my nightgown and bathrobe, making tea and more toast for an evening snack.

Smallville.  A shared passion (obsession?).


Looking forward to tomorrow, with hope, with excitement, with peace.

When things don't make sense (to me)

If you've read this blog for any length of time, or know me personally at all, you know that one of the biggest things I struggle with is trust.

Why does this have to happen? What does it mean? How is God teaching me in this? Who do I blame when things don't go the way I want them to? (Usually I blame myself...)

I have so many questions.  I want answers to all the problems in my life.  I want to know why life is so blasted hard sometimes.

But the long and short of it is, it's not for me to know.  My times, my life, are in God's hands. HE sees my future. HE has a plan for me--a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

God doesn't hurt me. He's all good; he can't! He can and does allow bad things to happen to me...but because I am his child, called according to his purpose, he will work out all things for good (Romans 8:28).

I am a fallible human being. I can't see the future. I don't know what tomorrow will hold, or even the next hour or next minute. I can't control the way my life will go, so there's no sense worrying about it. As a weak and fragile human being, I can't handle all the worries and frustrations of this life.

But God can.

And he wants to! He wants to take my troubles, worries and sorrows off my shoulders and onto his. He wants to give me peace and comfort in return. I simply have to let go and stop being such a control freak!

So when things don't make sense to me, I know they make sense to the God who loves me, who created me, who has a purpose for me, who always has my best interests at heart, and who can see and holds my future in his all-mighty hands.

The Encouraging Body of Christ

I am in awe of how wonderfully God works through his people to build them up.  As Christians, we're all in this journey of faith together.  It's different for all of us, as unique individuals, but we have a lot of common struggles and experiences.  As such, we're able to encourage each other in our faith.

I've had people tell me that I've been encouraging to them in their lives and faith.  I'm so thankful for that, humbled that God would use me to bless his children, and honored that he works through me.  But I have had so many other people be a blessing and encouragement to me in my faith as well--even sometimes those same people who said they were encouraged by me.

I think we all experience highs and lows in our faith walk, days where trusting God comes easy, and times when trials cause us to worry and fret and doubt.  God, in his infinite grace and mercy, knows that we worry and doubt, and he gives us people who can be his hands and voice to reassure us and speak his words of comfort and forgiveness to us.

This post in particular spoke to me today.  Thank you, Kayla.

This post was a huge encouragement to me the other day.  Thank you, Nikki.

What an incredible gift God has given us, in our brothers and sisters in Christ, to build up and encourage one another.

Gratefulness this Week

I'm thankful for my hubby, and for the time we'll get to spend together this weekend!!  (This was a date night a couple weeks ago, and that is sparkling grape juice in our glasses. :) )

Thankful for this beautiful woman and the fact that she's coming to visit this weekend!!!!  (This picture is from a "Prom Alternative" event with her church, our senior year in high school. :) )

Thankful for God's power, majesty and artistry.  (This is the sky after a storm a few days ago.)

Thankful for beauty, living things, and the kindness of an elderly flower-growing friend at church.  (These flowers have graced our house all week!)

Thankful for the Lord's providence--such good food!!  (Homemade bread and white cranberry-cheddar cheese, YUM)

(One almost-bad banana into half a dozen AMAZING banana muffins!)

Oh, the Lord is good to me
And so I thank the Lord
For giving me
The things I need
The sun and the rain and the appleseed.
The Lord is good to me!
(-the "Johnny Appleseed Song")



Linking up to black tag diaries for Thankful Thursdays

Before I Let the Worry Set In

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?...Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?...So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

For the pagans run after all these things, and
your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

~Matthew 6:25, 27, 31-34

There is no point in worrying.  It's not productive, it doesn't help, it only makes me and those around me upset.  God knows everything I need.  He desires me to keep my priorities in order: first God, his kingdom and righteousness, and then other things.  When God is the most important thing in my life, everything else will fall into place.

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guide your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."


~Philippians 4:4-7

As my mom has said: "Thanksgiving is the antidote to worry--the source of peace."  When we realize all our blessings, everything we have to be thankful for, our worries and troubles seem so much less and are put into perspective.  When there's so much for which we can thank God, how can we fret for what we think we don't have?

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen."


~Ephesians 3:20-21

Living Intentionally

I've been thinking about something, and I'm just going to type and see what happens.

I know that God places at times and places in our lives for a reason, or at the very least, he works in our lives to accomplish his purposes even if/when things we do are contrary to his will for us.

I don't have a (paying) job yet--I've been keeping busy at home, and I have plenty of things to do to fill my days.  But it's been frustrating, not being able to make money.  I've applied at a couple places, and I know I need to apply elsewhere as well.

But it's been making me wonder, am I using my time well, even though I don't have a job?  Am I using my time to serve others and by doing so serve the Lord?  Am I using extra free time to be in fellowship with him?  Am I living my life intentionally, for a purpose, or am I just 'winging it' and kind of flying by the seat of my pants?

It feels like that sometimes, although the days are settling into a routine of sorts.  I cook.  I clean.  I go shopping for groceries.  I do laundry every week.  I keep the house in order.  But that list looks so pathetic when I actually see it written out.

We had friends over last night.  We're having some young people from our church here tonight, going to a movie and having them here for games and cookies, one other thing I need to do this afternoon (bake).
I try to have the house in order and myself looking nice when my husband comes home from work.
I don't have many friends in town right now, but I'm trying to keep in touch with the ones that are.  We see hubby's family at least once every couple weeks.

So, I'm trying, to have a purpose in life right now, and to glorify God in what I'm doing.  My vocation at this moment is to be a wife and homemaker, and although that might seem like a short list of responsibilities, I'm trying to do my very best at them to be a blessing to my husband first and foremost, and everyone else we come in contact with as well.

I feel like I'm defending myself...to myself.  Which I shouldn't have to.  Maybe I'm just trying to figure out what it is I'm doing and why.  But I know that even the in simplest things that I do to serve others, I'm serving God.  By loving my husband I'm loving our God who made him and who gave us to each other.  Feeding friends is like having Christ at my table.  What a blessing, what an honor it is, to serve God in these vocations he's given me!!!  Thank you Jesus :)

Life is Changing

I could make a lot of excuses for why I haven't blogged lately: it's been gorgeous out, I've been busy packing and moving and working and writing papers...all of that is true.  But I haven't been in the Word lately, either--no good excuse for that!

I think I posted recently about all the changes happening in life, but it's really started to hit me.  We moved furniture into our new apartment yesterday, with the help of two friends with pick-up trucks.  The man is moving in this weekend; I'm staying w/ my grandparents here in town till we go to a relative's wedding next weekend, and then I will be back with my parents and sibs.  Then two weeks later I'll be married and moving back here!  As a wife!

It's all happening SO FAST.  As I pack I realize this is the last time I'll have to move out of a dorm room.  Tonight is my last night sleeping in a dorm room, with a roommate who's a girl and who isn't my sister!  She and I will share a room for two precious weeks when I get home, and then I will be a married woman living with my husband.

I can hardly wait.  I know that the transition might be kind of hard to get used to at first, but I'm SO ready to be married and independent!!!

God continues to be absolutely faithful.  I get to work six more days before I leave town and our car is now working with just a new battery.  I'm not nervous about the wedding at all: just excited!

I feel very confidently that God has prepared us in exactly the right way for this new chapter in our lives, both my man's and mine.  He is all-wise, all-loving, and omnicient: no wonder God knows best and does everything for our good! :)

I'd love to write more, but there is still packing and cleaning to be done.  More to come!

God, Who Richly Provides Us with Everything

I've expressed on here my continual struggle with worry, over the future, over money mostly.  I just get to wondering about how we'll pay for this or that, how we'll provide for ourselves.

More than once, actually many times, God had spoken to us by providing something we didn't expect, at the exact time we needed it.  Just yesterday I got an email offering me a job at the campus library next semester.  I've wanted to work in a library for years, and it will be a far nicer job than the one I currently have at the cafeteria.  God's timing is perfect- as always!

I like using my concordance to look up passages containing certain words, and today I looked up "provides" and was led to 1 Timothy 6:17-19, which reads:

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.  Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.  In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."

Now, by the standards of people living in a third-world country I'm incredibly rich.  By U.S. standards, I'm average, although in terms of what's in my bank account I'm pretty poor at the moment.  But I still have so much.  And I think what Timothy was trying to express in this passage, at least what I'm getting out of it, is to hope in God, not in physical wealth or money.  God will provide everything we need for life and for enjoyment.  What matters to him is not how much money we have, but the treasures we're laying up in heaven.

Matthew chapter six speaks to both these issues.  Jesus says in 6:19-21, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  When my goal is to obtain as much earthly wealth as I can, my heart will be with that money.  When my goal is to store up heavenly treasures, my heart will be heavenly-minded.  Jesus also said, "No one can serve two masters...You cannot serve both God and Money" (6:24).

Later in the chapter, Jesus says, "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own" (6:31-34).

I realize that some of my posts are more Scripture passages than my words, but the fact is, Jesus' words and the words of the God-inspired writers of the Bile are a lot more important than mine.  What I say will soon be forgotten if it is ever read, especially since what I'm writing here is my own considerings, and if anyone can benefit from them that's just an added bonus.  What God has said in his word has lasted thousands of years, and will last for eternity, even after Christ comes back for the second time.

This is what it means to be heavenly-minded, to seek first the kingdom and God's righteousness, to store up treasures in heaven.  It's not thinking about myself, but about other people.  It's about desiring and doing my best to do God's will, not mine, in my life.  It's about putting my complete trust in his providence, not mine.  It's about knowing that no matter what happens in this life, I have the assurance of eternal life in heaven.

Something I Needed to Hear

I just posted the following as a comment on a friend's blog post.  And as I wrote, I realized I was telling her something that I need to realize myself:

You are beautiful. You are graceful. You are elegant. You are a woman made by God, and as my favorite Sunday school teacher used to say, "God don't make junk." You are a priceless jewel.
You are forgiven. You are loved by a God who desires to fill your soul with him. He wants to be your everything. He adores you. He wants you to seek him out and fill any emptiness in your life with HIS love. And when you seek, he is already there for you.

As I write this, I realize that I am speaking truths that I myself need to be reminded of. Thank you for this reminder. That I, too, am loved. Am forgiven. That God desires to have a relationship with me. That all I really need, when it comes down to it, is him.
All that guilt inside me, that's just dead weight. I can let God take it and give me life!

Chapel yesterday was a reminder, "Do not worry."  About your life.  What you will eat, drink, wear.  Or about money, a place to live, what classes to take, how to pay the bills.  Don't worry, God says.  How can worrying help at all?  Who, by worrying, will add a single hour to his life?  God loves and provides for birds and flowers.  How much more precious to him am I than they!

He will provide.  He forgives.  He loves.
What a promise.