Marriage Lessons and Drastic Haircuts

My husband and I had an experience recently that taught us something about our marriage:

There are things we each do well.

We need to stick to those things. Other tasks should be... well, left to the professionals.

Case in point. About two months ago, my hair looked like this:

FYI, I'm the one on the left. The lovely lady in yellow is a childhood friend; we grew up down the street from each other.

This is a photo my hubby took about an hour ago. As in, what I look like now:

And yes, if you're wondering, purple is my favorite color, although these are two of about three purple shirts I own.

And also yes, there is about a 12-inch difference in the lengths of my hair in those photos. I bet you're wondering why!

Well, I've been wanting to cut my hair for a while. It's been literally a decade since I cut off more than an inch or two, and I wanted it shorter.

About six inches shorter.

My loving husband offered to help me out. I'm cheap frugal, you see, and pay for a haircut about once a year, if that. I trim my bangs myself, I learned to layer my hair myself, and my mom has help me cut length off the long portion before. I figured Joshua knows how to use scissors, he was confident he could do it, no problem, right?

I did not take into consideration the fact that he is a man. And as a man, he is perfectly capable of buzzing his own hair, but he doesn't have to make sure his hair turns out an even length when he does that. It's all just buzzed off, basically. Nor does he have any experience whatsoever cutting female, long, hair.

I didn't think about that.

So he gathered my hair into a ponytail and cut. And, well, it was about six inches shorter than I'd been planning. And not quite evenly cut.

In the interest of full disclosure, I'll tell you I was a baby. I cried a little. Then he said, "But you look so sexy! It's adorable! I love it!"

And I sniffed and looked in the mirror and asked in a small voice, "Do you really mean it?"

Of course he did. He doesn't just say that sort of thing.

So the next morning I called the nicest salon in town and made an emergency appointment, and the girl did a great job evening things out, and I've gotten the most fantastic reactions since yesterday afternoon.

I've never done anything like this before, other than the eight inches I cut off when I was twelve for Locks of Love. (No, I didn't donate this time, unfortunately... I wasn't planning on cutting off enough TO donate!)

But I definitely learned some things from this. One, never let my husband near my hair with scissors again. Two, take life in stride. Things don't always go the way we plan, but sometimes they end up going a better direction. Three, don't take myself so seriously. Loosen up. Live a little. Let your hair down. Or cut it, anyway.

And plus, we have a hilarious story for our kids one day.

How to Make a Marriage Last

Throughout Scripture, I see evidence that God really likes marriage. He came up with the idea in the first place when he created Adam and Eve for each other. Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding. And God used marriage to describe the relationship between Jesus and the body of believers.

God designed marriage to be something that takes people and makes them "one flesh." This is a bond that was never designed to be broken. God actually said in Malachi 2:16, "I hate divorce." God designed marriage to be for life!

How do we make a marriage last that long, though? The current mindset of our society suggests that people aren't even interested in a lifelong marriage. More than half of all couples who marry eventually get divorced (source). Obviously we're doing something wrong if the average marriage has such a short lifespan.

Now, I understand that there are some good reasons to get divorced. Actually, I think there are two: abuse and infidelity. When one spouse hurts the other and/or refuses to remain faithful, it's reasonable for the other spouse to divorce them. (Even in such cases, there can be reconciliation and healing, although that's not always possible.)

But I'm not talking about why a marriage could end. How do we keep that from happening? What can we do to make a marriage last?

I think that in order to keep their marriage strong and healthy for a whole lifetime, couples should avoid making two fatal assumptions: One, that love is a feeling, and two, that marriage is something a husband and wife can do on their own.

Never fall into the trap of thinking that love is a feeling. Attraction is a feeling. Lust is a feeling. Affection is a feeling. Love--real, enduring love--is a choice. It is a decision, and it is a commitment.

Sometimes, on those rare occasions when we're really upset with each other, my husband or I will say to the other, "I love you, but I do not like you very much right now." Love lasts through petty arguments, through financial problems, car breakdowns, difficult pregnancies, whining toddlers, and raising teenagers.

Why?
Because love is NOT something we find within ourselves. Love is a gift from God, and it finds its sole source in him. God loves us SO much that his love flows through us to those around us. John wrote in his first epistle, "We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19) We are only able to love each other because God loves us!

Furthermore, we are able to continue loving others because God gives us the ability to do so. Not only did he set an example for us of what love is, he gives us the strength to love because that is something that pleases him (Philippians 4:13).

We do not look to ourselves or our spouse for the strength to keep loving them, including during those times when they don't deserve it or aren't acting loving toward us. We look to God, who knows our needs, hears our prayers, and continues to fill us with his love.

This brings me to the second trap: never think that your marriage is something you and your spouse can do well on your own. A marriage should always be a team of three: you, your spouse, and God. Remember, God created marriage and designed it to last, and he wants your marriage to last a lifetime!

He is willing and able to give you and your spouse the tools you need to build a solid, lasting marriage. Those tools, gifts from him, are numerous (patience, wisdom, kindness, a sense of humor, etc.), but besides love, I think the most important is forgiveness.

As God gives us the ability to love, he also enables us to forgive. True forgiveness is only possible when we realize that we have been forgiven. My husband and I are both sinners for whom Jesus died. He has forgiven our sins, and paid the price for the sins of the whole world. Now that we have been forgiven, we can forgive one another. No sin we commit against each other is bigger than the ones Jesus has already forgiven us for!

So how do you make a marriage last? Look to Jesus. Find in him a love that is so incredible it will flow from him, to you, and to your spouse. Realize that he has forgiven you of every wrong thing you ever did or will do, and realize that he gives you the ability to forgive as you have been forgiven. Make him the center of your marriage--let everything in your life find its focus in Christ. It's with his love, forgiveness, strength, and grace that you can build a marriage that will last a lifetime.


Linking with Messy Marriage, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, To Love, Honor and Vacuum

twenty-six years of love and blessings

Today is my parents' twenty-sixth wedding anniversary.

I am so thankful for them and so proud of them. In a world where divorce is common--practically expected--after just a few years of marriage, where infidelity is no longer a rarity, where adultery is acceptable, these two have made it twenty-six years with none of that. Over a quarter century with just each other, and no one else, EVER.

That's impressive.

They'll tell you right away, though, that it's because of grace, and because of God. They don't claim credit for themselves, although they could. This marriage is based on and centered around Jesus Christ, and that's what makes it work. They "submit to one another out of reverence to Christ" (Ephesians 5:21).

They have learned the value of forgiveness. Of admitting when they're wrong, and graciously accepting apologies. They've learned how to be a team, to work together in everything. They've learned how to ask for help when they need it, and they've learned so much that they are able to give a lot of help to others.

These two have learned how to be great parents. Through practice, patience, and prayer they have and are still raising three children to love God, love each other, and love others, besides teaching them a lot of other things.

They constantly point others--especially their children and family--to Jesus. He's the reason for everything they do, and he is the source of everything they are. Without faith in him, their marriage would not be what it is.

They have built a life together, a family, a home, all on the solid rock of Christ. And a home with Christ as its cornerstone is solid and will not fall.

They are a shining example to their children and to many others of what a Christ-centered marriage can and should look like. No, they're not perfect, but they follow the Perfect One, and that's what matters.

So today, and every day, thank you, Mom and Dad, for loving each other--for loving me and my siblings--for setting an example of what a Godly marriage should be. I hope and pray that Joshua and I will be able to leave the same legacy and set the same example you have.

I am so thankful for you both. Happy anniversary!

Linking with: black tag diaries, The Fontenot Four, There's Just One Mommy

Keeping Priorities in Order

A new school year is beginning soon. For us, it's in two weeks; for some of you, it may have already begun! With a change in schedule, priorities can get shifted around. Sometimes that's necessary. But I'm taking a hard look this semester at my priorities and where they stand.

• God should always be number one. Some days (many days, if I'm honest) my Bible goes unopened. Sure, we do Portals of Prayer almost every day, and pray together daily, but my personal Bible study time is definitely lacking. That's something that I am constantly working on, and it's something I can't slack on when school starts. Especially when life gets busier, I'm going to need to be in the Word even more, otherwise life will just fall apart.
• My husband should always be the second most important person in my life! I often find myself caught up in the busyness of the school year, trying to socialize in between classes, work, and homework-- and sometimes my husband gets neglected. This should not be! My husband is my closest family, my very best friend, and my partner for life--nourishing our marriage needs to be way at the top of my priority list.
• Next should be time for family and friends. This doesn't happen during the school year as much as I'd like, partly because my family lives far away and Joshua's is even busier than we are. But we try to see them as often as we practically can.
• After my relationships come my responsibilities. First and foremost is my calling as a homemaker: planning and preparing meals, keeping up with laundry, keeping our home clean and presentable.
• Next I need to focus on my jobs, the ways I financially contribute to our little family. Blogging is one of my jobs, too--it's an important part of what I do and who I am.
• Finally comes school, and with that, homework. Obviously, attending classes on a day-to-day basis is a non-negotiable, and I always turn in homework on time, but it's not the most important aspect of my life, or the one I should be spending the most time and attention on.
• Mixed in here is spending some time focusing on myself, but that cannot be my top priority. Obviously I need to take care of myself physically, and take some time to rest and relax daily (nourishing food, adequate sleep, and physical activity are absolute musts in every day!). But I need to spend the majority of my time focusing on others.

It's a lot to balance, and although your roles, relationships and responsibilities may look a little different, I'm sure you have a lot to balance in your life as well.

How are your priorities lining up? Who or what is at the top of your list?

Is it your husband? Your children? Your job? Your writing? Yourself?

If God isn't at the top, followed closely by your spouse, the rest of your priorities won't line up right. The Lord needs to be the main focus of your life, the center around which everything else revolves. It's His Word that will keep you grounded and able to fulfill all your other roles and responsibilities the best you can. Trust me, I need to remind myself of this very often!

If spouse and family aren't way toward the top of your priority list, simply speaking, you're failing in your primary callings. We all have a variety of vocations--roles to which God has called us. If you're married and/or a parent, those vocations are your first and most important! No matter what job you have (even if it's a pastor, a doctor, a lawyer, a police officer), whatever it is, it's not as important as your first calling, which is to your family.

I have to remember this on a very regular basis. It's so easy to get caught up in thinking "but when I'm working I'm doing it for my family!" Or in my case, "When I'm spending all my time cooking and cleaning and taking care of the house, I'm doing it for my husband!" Most times he'd rather I spend time with him, not spend time doing dishes or cleaning the bathroom. Obviously those things need to get done, but they're not nearly as important as investing in my relationship with my husband.

So yep,  I sometimes struggle with keeping my priorities in order. I think we all do to some extent.

I find that it helps when I schedule time for those things that are most important. I do well with a written, detailed schedule, and if I put "Bible study and prayer" for the first half-hour of each day, I'm very likely to do it. If I decide that Tuesday and Friday nights, nothing goes on the calendar because those two nights are set aside for time with my husband, we'll actually spend that time together. If I schedule a couple hours a day for homework, it will happen in those times and not get pushed to evenings when I should be spending time with my husband. Those are some things I'm going to do to keep my priorities in order this school year.

What are you going to do this year to keep your priorities lined up? Looking at yourself, what order are you priorities in right now?

Encouraging your man to BE a man

I married a man.

A Jesus-trusting, Bible-reading, Dr. Pepper-drinking, holey-t-shirt-wearing, meat-and-potatoes-loving, video-game-playing, hard-working MAN.

And I love that.

Maybe your man is a neat freak (like my dad!).  Maybe his hands are constantly stained with grease from working on your car (and other peoples').  Maybe he spends more time in the kitchen than you do.  Maybe he works from home while you work outside the home.  Maybe he presses his own pants and wears a tie every day.

Every man is unique.

Do you encourage your man in his own particular brand of manliness?

Do you admire the muscles he's built up from a physically demanding job?
Do you listen to the crazy stories he has from his job as a lawyer/med student/photographer/whatever?
Do you thank him for working to support you, in whatever work he does?
Do you thank him when he helps you with your work, be it with your children or around the house?

Does your man know you appreciate him for just the man he is?

And are you the kind of wife who motivates her man to BE a man?

I pray that I'm that kind of wife.  I work at these things, but I don't get them right all the time, or even most of the time.

But I am working at being the kind of wife who appreciates her man for the man he is, loves him the way he is, and encourages him to keep  becoming the man God's created him to be.

After all, I'm a work in progress too!

What kind of man do you have?  What's one way you can encourage him in his manliness?  Share in the comments!

Linking with: Exceptionalistic, Yes They're All Ours, A Proverbs 31 Wife, The Alabaster Jar, The Better Mom  , The Modest Mom

Connecting with your spouse--summertime and anytime

If you're like me, the summer months mean a different schedule for you and your family.  We don't have school, but our work hours have increased (Joshua works full-time during the summer).  We're up at about 5:45, he's off to work a bit before 7, and my work hours vary from day to day.  Evenings are more free because we don't have homework, but we also can't stay up as late as we do during the school year.

Maybe you're not like me-- perhaps you work full-time, year-round, so the only difference during the summer is that your kids are home from school, and you and your spouse are still working every day.  Maybe you're a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, so the only difference between the school year and the summer is that you're less busy with "school stuff."  Or maybe you do school year-round, and the only difference in the summer is the heat!

Whatever your lifestyle, family situation, and schedule, I think it's good to take a look on a regular basis at how you and your spouse are connecting.  Are you getting in a date (even if it's at home) at least once a month?  Once a week would be even better!  Are you spending some time alone each day (sleeping doesn't count), even if it's just for a few minutes?  Are you praying together daily?  Are you getting enough sleep so you have energy at the end of the day for intimate time together?

If you answered "no" to any of those questions, sit down with your spouse and look at your schedule.  Figure out what you can consolidate or eliminate so that you can spend some quality time together every day.  Even if it's just a few minutes after dinner while your kids clean up the kitchen, your marriage will be strengthened by the time you spend re-connecting with each other and in fellowship with the Lord.

When you do spend some time together, let me challenge you to do this:  Talk about something that does NOT involve your kids, your jobs, or your schedule for the next day.  Avoid, just for a few minutes, "logistics" and parenting.  What did you love to talk about when you were dating, and before you had children?  If you don't have kids, this still applies-- talk about each other.  Your childhoods.  Your memories of your years together.  Your dreams for the future.  Maybe you get excited talking about politics, theology, history, gardening, cars.  Whatever it is you both enjoy, spend your alone-time talking about that.  Take some time to refresh each other, to de-stress, and to encourage one another.  (For an even bigger challenge, leave your phones in another room while you spend time together!)

I'm going to go home today and follow my own advice!  Even though we're not parents yet, sometimes I fall into the trap of just talking about plans for the next day, what we're having for supper, or what movie we want to watch.  I am blessed in that I get to have lunch with my husband (almost) every day, and we make a point to have breakfast and supper together every day, too--although sometimes supper is eaten while we're flopped on the couch after a long day!  We have devotions together every morning, nothing fancy, but it's good to start the day in the Word and with prayer.  And we spend most of our evenings together--but tonight I'm going to be intentional about really connecting with my husband and refreshing him, mentally and spiritually.

If you try any of these things with your spouse this week, let me know!  What do you and your spouse do to connect?

Linking today with: A Proverbs 31 Wife, The Alabaster Jar, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours , To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage

To have a gentle and quiet spirit

Do you ever have those realizations that there's something you've been missing?  Not doing?  Not understanding?  I had one of those "aha" moments yesterday.  And it was humbling.

I want this kind of spirit as a wife: a gentle and quiet one.  This is the kind of spirit that Peter says creates true, unfading beauty:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.  For this is the way the women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."  (1 Peter 3: 3-6)

There's a lot in this passage.  I want to point out a few things that have stuck out to me in many readings of these words.

First, look at this phrase from verse 5: "the women of the past who put their hope in God..."  A gentle and quiet spirit comes when our hope is not in ourselves or our own abilities, but in God and his Spirit at work within us.

And this: "Sarah...obeyed Abraham and called him her master."  This passage isn't talking about being our husband's slave, but it is descriptive of a wife who highly respects her husband.  This respect isn't shown just in our actions, but in our words and thoughts.  Do we show our husbands by how we speak to them that we respect them?  Do we make the effort to let them know that they are priceless treasures to us?  Do we pay attention when they talk?  Do we make it clear that we're interested in all parts of their lives?

These are things I've been struggling with.  This, and distrust (my constant battle).  Thus, look at the last part of this passage:

"...do not give way to fear."

Fear, my mother often reminds me, is of the Enemy.  Fear is what comes naturally to our sinful selves.  The opposite of fear is faith, which is a gift from God.  Faith in God and his promises...hope in him...this is what enables us to be wives after God's own heart.  Wives who love, respect and trust their husbands.  Wives who are beautiful not because of their outer looks but because of the quiet and gentle spirit within them, that comes from God.

This is the kind of wife I want to be: 

"A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."  (Proverbs 31:10-12)

I want to be the kind of wife in whom my husband can have complete confidence, and who he can trust fully.  I want him to be able to trust me to bring him good, not harm, every single day.

But you know what?  I cannot be that kind of wife on my own willpower.  I don't have the ability to do it alone.

That's why I take comfort in the fact that God's strength more than makes up for my weakness.  In fact, as God promised Paul, so he promises me, and I can say this with Paul:

"But he [God] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

If you've been struggling with this at all, take comfort: you are not alone.  And for whatever trials you are experiencing, know that God's grace is more than enough.  His love covers you completely.  His forgiveness is unfailing and never-ending, and encompasses even those things for which we feel most guilty.  Jesus has taken away that guilt, paid the price for our sins, and enables us to live as his children.

I'm taking comfort in this: today and every day!


Linking with: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum; Exceptionalistic, Messy Marriage

Zealous

Today is the LAST DAY of the A to Z Challenge.

Wow.  I made it.  What an accomplishment!  Way to go to all the other Challengers who completed the Challenge-- give yourself a pat on the back, or a high five, or some other congratulatory gesture!  You should be proud of yourself. :)

What are you zealous about?

Zealous, adj: Ardently active, devoted, or diligent, according to dictionary.com.

I'm zealous about and for my relationship with Jesus.  I'm more devoted to him than anything.  I'm enthusiastic, fervent, and passionate about my relationship with him (synonyms for zealous).

I'm zealous about marriage, and talking about what Godly marriage is.

I'm zealous about homemaking...most of the time, when frustration or weariness don't get me down.  I'm eager to do my best, enthusiastic about learning more, and devoted to my role as homemaker.

Zeal can be applied in the wrong ways sometimes.  It's only good if you're zealous about something good.  I pray that my zeal for the Lord, for marriage, and for my home never fade.

Tell me: what in your life brings out the zeal in you?

"Yes" in My Marriage

I have a hard time saying "Yes."  "Yes, hon, let's go see that movie we've both been eyeing."  "Yes, let's splurge on a steak for dinner this weekend."  "Yes, let's skip class and sleep in and...ahem...spend some time together this morning."  "Yes, let's go stay in a hotel this weekend."

Actually, I have said "Yes" to all these statements at least once before, but it's always a struggle.  Usually I don't want to spend the extra money.  We can eat what's in the house!  We can watch a movie on Netflix!  We can just stay home and relax this weekend!  I really should go to class today!

But you know what?  I never once have regretted saying Yes.  It's always worth it.  We do something fun, together, special, and it's always a blessing.

Take this weekend, for example.  We've been talking for a while about spending a night at a local hotel--nothing fancy, just to get away--and I'd been balking about it.  "We really don't need to spend the extra money.  We can just stay home and have a quiet weekend."  Well, my husband knows me.  He knows that if I stay home, I'll be constantly thinking about--and trying to get done--all the things around the house that I KNOW need doing.  Like cleaning the bathroom, scrubbing the kitchen floor...you get the idea.  He also knew that if he kept asking, I would just keep saying no, and he also knows me well enough to know that I'd really love a weekend away... I'm just too frugal (read: cheap) to say so.

Friday afternoon he picked me up from work and announced, "I've booked a room for tomorrow night."  I gave him the look.  The one that says, "You stinker.  I could say a lot of things but at the same time I can't."  And I didn't say no.  I'm so glad I didn't.

It was a great weekend.  We took advantage of the hotel's pool...along with half-a-dozen toddlers and small children and their parents...we watched cable TV...we both took long, hot showers...we napped...we enjoyed the "free" breakfast...we brought our own supper and DVD because the room had a mini-fridge, microwave, and DVD player... it. was. awesome.

I'm so glad I said "YES."  (or at least, didn't say no!)

Maybe I'll start saying "yes" more often.

What about you?  When have you said "YES" in your marriage (other than when you accepted the proposal!)?

Linking with: Exceptionalistic, What Joy is Mine, The Modest Mom, The Better Mom, The Alabaster Jar, Yes They're All Ours    

Sexuality: What it should be {Marriage Monday}

Mondays are "Marriage Mondays" here at Living in the Light!  If you're new here (especially if you're visiting from the A to Z Challenge)--welcome!!  I'm so happy you're here.  Check out my "About Me" page HERE, some of my favorite posts on marriage HERE, and my two most popular posts HERE and HERE.

Today's letter for the A to Z Challenge is "S."  And on Mondays I write about marriage.  So what better topic for today than sex?

(By the way, no worries about graphic content here... my mother reads my blog!)

I believe that our society has a perverted view of sex.  This should be a fairly obvious fact.  Sex outside of marriage is so normal it's practically encouraged, homosexuality is legal in several states, pornography is way too easily available, and adultery within marriage is so common that it's joked about on television shows and in movies.  Half of all marriages nowadays end in divorce.

Obviously, our culture is doing something very, very wrong when it comes to sex.

For the Bible-believing Christian, the reason for this is quite obvious as well.  As a society in general, we don't do sex God's way anymore.  Celibacy outside of marriage is no longer encouraged as it used to be.  Faithfulness within marriage isn't stressed as essential.  Sexual promiscuity doesn't garner the disapproval it once did.  And as a result of Hollywood and the media as a whole, poor examples of what sex should be are displayed on our TV and computer screens every day.

I'm here to tell you that sex God's way is fantastic.  No, you don't need the details.  But sex, reserved for marriage and kept sacred within marriage, is incredibly fulfilling.  It contributes to the unity of husband and wife in a beautiful way.  It is the means by which God has provided for the procreation of children.  It is a source of great delight for husband and wife.  Sex within the bonds of marriage is a beautiful, blessed thing.

Satan does everything he can to make us forget that.  He has used the media to great effect to convey the idea that sex should be whatever we want it to be--that it's all about making ourselves feel good, so we can do whatever we want to gain our own pleasure.  He has twisted the Biblical design for sexuality to make it into something it was never intended to be.

When God created humanity, he made one man and one woman and gave them to each other with the command to "be fruitful and multiply."  Sex is reserved for marriage, and within marriage it is to be limited to the husband and the wife.

Sex is not dirty or gross.  We don't need to talk about it clandestinely.  It shouldn't be cause for blushing and giggles when it comes up in conversation.  Parents, please talk openly with your children about sex.  Don't give them details they don't need, of course, but make sure they aren't afraid to ask you about it.  Instill in them the understanding that sex, when used as God intended, is a beautiful gift to be cherished.

Also, I think that as the Church as a whole, we need to stop treating sex outside of marriage as if it's the unforgivable sin.  It's not.  It's a serious sin, to be sure, and it can come with all sorts of major consequences--sexually transmitted diseases, spiritual brokenness, damaged relationships, and disruption of lives.  But just like any other sin, where there is repentance, there is always forgiveness.  Each of us succumbs to temptation of one kind or another.  Sexual temptation is no different.  But we can't treat sexual sins as if they're "no big deal," either.  They are a big deal.  They are in direct contradiction to God's laws.  But God is always willing to forgive the repentant believer, and he is amazing at giving second (and third, and fourth...) chances.

So let's celebrate God's gift of sex!  But let's keep it within marriage.

Let's tell our children how great sex is within marriage... and let's help lead them to repentance, and then forgive them, if and when they step outside God's bounds for marriage.

Sex is a beautiful thing. And that's why I'm not afraid to write about it.


Linking with: The Alabaster Jar, What Joy is Mine, A Proverbs 31 Wife, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours  , To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage

Nagging is Never the Answer

As a wife, I am learning how to relate to my husband and how to communicate to him.  That includes how to ask him to do things for me.  There are several good and bad ways to do this, but one very bad way is to nag.

What is nagging?  Asking or saying the same thing repeatedly, often in an irritating manner, to attempt to accomplish a desired result.  That's not Webster, that's me.  Literally.  I have a rather bad habit of nagging, myself.

Proverbs 21:19 (NIV) says this:
"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife."

Ouch.  If my poor husband would be better off in a desert than living with a wife who nags him and is unpleasant to live with, then I have got to figure out a better tactic to ask him things!  And this means I need to learn the way he thinks.

Men think in "boxes."  They focus on one task or subject at a time, and do that one thing very well.  But they need to really switch gears mentally to start talking about a different topic or doing a different task.  When my husband is doing homework, playing a video game, or watching a TV show, I can't just walk into the room, start talking, and expect him to hear anything I say.  He probably won't, and it won't be his fault.  Here's what I need to do (and you too, because your husband is male and this is how they work):

Get his attention.  Say something like, "Honey, can I talk to you for a couple minutes?  I have something to ask you."
Wait.  Generally I have something I want to tell him right-this-instant, so I have to wait, literally, a minute or two for him to pause the movie or the game or stop thinking about the paper he's writing.
Simplify.  He doesn't need all the details.  If I want him to go to the store to get milk, I don't have to say that I'm in the middle of making supper and just realized that I'm out of milk and I really need it for the meal I'm making but I'm in the middle of working on another dish and I can't just leave it so will he please go to the store and get milk for me?
That will NOT work.  All I need to say is, "Sweetheart, will you please go to the store for me and get milk?  I need it to make supper."  That's it.
Make sure you communicated clearly.  Sometimes it works to have him tell you what you just told him, but don't treat him like a child.  Do make sure you get a response beyond "mm-hm" so you know he was listening and knows what you asked.
Expect the best of him.  Do not expect him to forget right away what you told him.  Men are smart.  And they are usually far smarter than we give them credit.  If he doesn't leave for the store in the next fifteen minutes, I might say something like, "Honey, I need the milk soon.  Could you please go get it now?"
Treat him with respect.  Don't snap.  Don't whine.  Do NOT order him around like a child.  You're his wife, not his mother, not his three-year-old daughter.  Treat him the way you want to be treated: with manners (please and thank you!), with kindness, with love and with respect.
Don't expect him to always do every little thing you ask him.  You CAN dry the dishes yourself.  You CAN run down to the basement to grab a jar of peanut butter off the shelf.  You CAN carry the towels back upstairs yourself.  Don't expect your man to always be at your beck and call.  When he says, "Hon, not right now, I'm in the middle of a project," or if he JUST sat down to his video game or movie after a long day, it's okay if he tells you no.  Be a big girl, don't take it personally (he doesn't mean it personally!), and do it yourself.  And next time he does do what you ask, thank him with a hug and a kiss.  He will be more likely to help you out next time (trust me.  This works!). :)


Linking with To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage, Graced Simplicity

Marriage--More than I Expected

I got married at the tender age of 19-not-quite-20.  I don't regret it one bit--my husband and I are growing up together, get to spend tons of time together, get to learn and experience life together, and will have several married years before we start having children.  Marrying my man when I did is the best decision I ever made.

But I'll be the first to admit that I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I got married!  Marriage has brought a lot of surprises--some pleasant, some not as much.

I didn't expect that marriage would force me to mature so quickly.  In the last almost-two years, I've had to learn to really be an adult.  I've had to learn how to be selfless (that's a work in progress).  I've had to learn how to handle finances, jobs, taxes, car repairs, medical issues, and more.  I have learned to release myself from childhood and from the mindset of being dependent on my parents.  Now, my husband and I take care of each other.  I knew, cognitively, that all those things would come with marriage, but I didn't realize how quickly I (and my husband) would grow up.

I didn't expect how hard marriage would be.  It's so worth it, but it's not always easy.

It's harder than I expected to come up with new date night ideas so we don't fall into the rut of "same ol', same ol'."  To keep the house clean, orderly, and comfortable, day in and day out.  To keep up with the never-ending jobs of laundry and dishes and scrubbing the toilet.  To plan healthy, yummy meals...three times a day, every day (although this job comes more easily to me than others).  I didn't expect it to take so much work to die to myself every day and intentionally love my husband the way he needs to be loved, not the way I want to be loved.  To bite my tongue instead of letting an angry word slip past my lips when my temper flares.  It's a lot more work than I expected.

But there are other things about marriage that are more than I expected.  Amazing, wonderful things!

This love that comes out of my heart, directed at this person with whom I share, literally everything,  is beyond anything I have ever experienced or could ever imagine.  I never knew it was possible to love someone so much... or, just as wondrous, to be loved by them so much.  Now I know why God uses the example of marriage to explain to us how much he loves us.  It's a love that surpasses description, and cannot be expressed in words.

Marriage is more full of joy than I expected.  You know the old adage about how two people can halve each other's sorrows and double each other's joys?  Well, in marriage, that is SO true.  Happy things are twice as happy.  Hard things are twice as easy to bear.  I mean, I get to spend the majority of my time with my best friend, who happens to be a really fun person to spend time with, who makes me laugh, who puts a lot of effort into making me happy, who directs me to my Jesus, and who loves me more than I will ever understand (as explained above).  How much better can life get?

In marriage, there is more laughter than I expected.  There is more encouragement.  I didn't realize how much of a team we would be.  We're each other's "buddies"--we always have the other's back, and we might sometimes get on each other's nerves, but just let someone else say something mean about us and watch out!  We're there for each other.  And let's just say... there are other aspects of marriage that have far surpassed my expectations, and I couldn't be more thrilled!

Marriage is so much more work than I expected...and sometimes, it brings pain, because we can hurt the most the ones we love the most.
But those hard things are so worth it, because in marriage, the love, joy, and happiness are so much more than I expected.  I am in awe of this gift with which God has blessed us.

And I can't wait to see what other unexpected things life brings our marriage.  The future isn't scary, because God is already there, leading us on, and I know that my husband and I will be hand-in-hand every step of the way.

What in your life has been more than you expected?  Share in the comments!

Linking with: Exceptionalistic, A Proverbs 31 Wife, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours, The Better Mom, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage, Graced Simplicity

J is for... {Thankful Thursday}

I like the letter "J."  Not just because it's my first initial, but because it's the first letter of the names of the two people who love me most--

Jesus and Joshua.

One of them died and rose again so I could have life.
The other one promised his life to me.

Both love me more than I can comprehend, far more than I deserve, and more than I could repay...
but that's what makes it real love.

And because of the love from both of them, I have another gift for which I'm thankful--

Joy.

It is the love of God, and the love of my husband, which give me the greatest joy I think it's possible to experience (at least on this earth!).

I'm thankful for justification--the result of Jesus' sacrifice for me on the cross.  I have been justified before God.  Now it's "just as if I'd" never sinned--before God I am holy and sinless!

And I am thankful for the journey of life that I get to travel with my darling husband.  There's no one else I'd rather be beside for my whole life.  He is my best friend, my lover, and my greatest encouragement.

And I'm thankful that I'm Jaimie.  I'm happy to be me--just the way God made me. :)


What are you thankful for?  Anything that begins with "J"?

Linking today with The Fontenot Four and black tag diaries.

God is Number One

Mondays are Marriage Mondays at Living in the Light.  If you're a new visitor (especially if you're visiting from the Challenge)--welcome!!  I'm so happy you're here.  Check out my "About Me" page HERE, some of my favorite posts on marriage HERE, and my two most popular posts HERE and HERE.

If I was ever asked to give just one tip for making marriage great, it would be this:

Make God #1.

In your marriage, in your life, in your thoughts and actions.

When God gave the Ten Commandments, he began like this:

And God spoke all these words, saying,

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

“You shall have no other gods before me." Genesis 20:1-3

Having "no other gods" doesn't simply mean not worshiping false idols or the gods of other religions.  It means not putting anything in one's life before God--and that includes one's spouse!

In the book of Matthew, a lawyer questioned Jesus and asked

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he [Jesus] said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40

What are we to do above everything?  Love God with all our "heart, soul, and mind."  In other words, with everything we have in us.  And second, we are to love those around us as we love our spouses.

I don't want this to be all about what we do.  Because ultimately, life isn't about us.  Marriage isn't about us.  It's about God.  Life is a gift from him.  Marriage is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest gifts God's given us in this life.  In marriage, God has given us a picture of the kind of sacrificial, selfless love he has for us.  Of course, marriage doesn't always perfectly reflect that love--in fact, no marriage is ever perfect.  That's because all marriages are between two sinful human beings.  But God shows us grace, and blesses us despite our failures and shortcomings.  He continues to pour out his love abundantly on us and our spouse, even when we don't deserve it.  And God's love for us enables us to love one another.

The best thing any person can do for their marriage is to focus on God.  Our spouse will fail us, and we will fail them.  But God is always faithful, and we can trust that when we do fail, he will forgive us and renew us and our marriage.

What do you think?  Is this a helpful suggestion for marriage?  What's the one best tip for marriage you would give? 

Linking with: The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, A Proverbs 31 Wife

Attitude {Like that of Christ Jesus}

Welcome to visitors from the A to Z Challenge!  Please leave a comment to let me know you're here, and check out other posts that pique your interest!  Mondays are Marriage Mondays at Living in the Light.

"Don't give me that attitude, young lady!"  That's what comes to my mind when I hear the word attitude.  Of course, when my mother said that to me growing up, it was definitely always because I deserved it!  But the word seems to often have a negative connotation.

According to dictionary.com, the word simply means "manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind."

I want to consider what kind of attitude we have in marriage.  How is my attitude toward my husband?  How is yours toward your spouse?  How is your "disposition, feeling, position, etc." when it comes to marriage?

My attitude can sometimes be loving, especially when my husband has been sweet and helpful, when he hasn't left dirty dishes or laundry lying around, when he's been affectionate.  But in that case, my attitude is dependent on my husband's actions toward me.  That's reasonable, I suppose, but is it right?

Let's see what Scripture has to say about it.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!  Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  Philippians 2:3-11 (NIV)

Jesus Christ, God's Son, God himself, humbled himself to the ultimate point.  We just celebrated yesterday his resurrection from the dead--but he wouldn't have had to rise if he hadn't allowed himself to be humiliated and killed on a cross.

This, Paul wrote to the Philippians, is the attitude we are to have: that of humility, considering others better than ourselves.  Paul doesn't advocate self-loathing, but he is encouraging his readers (that's us!) to put others first.

I have already found from experience that when I do this in my marriage, my husband's and my relationship greatly benefits from it.  When each of us is seeking to serve the other person, instead of paying attention to only our own needs and wants, we're both happier.  When we act in a selfless manner toward the other, we both feel loved so very much, because in doing that we're demonstrating that each of us is the most important person in the other's life.

It might seem counter-intuitive to live in such a way.  "Gotta look out for number one," after all.  But following what comes naturally doesn't always work out.  By nature we're sinful, selfish human beings.  It's because of Jesus' sacrifice in our place that we have the ability to live as he did--selflessly.  Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for us: his own life.  He loves us so much that he was willing to suffer indescribable humiliation and agony, so that we could be forgiven--and so that we could imitate him.

By God's grace, we're able to show each other Christ-like humility and selflessness--in all our relationships, but especially in marriage.

I'm going to keep working on this in my own marriage.  Try it for yourself!  See what happens when you start putting your spouse first.  The results just may be even better than you thought.

I'd like to give a shout-out to Arlee Bird, the fantastic blogger who started this A to Z Challenge three years ago!  Head over to his blog and say hello!

Linking today:  A Proverbs 31 Wife, What Joy is Mine, The Better Mom, Yes They Are All Ours, Countrified Hicks

Marriage :: Defined

Well, now I know how to get all my Facebook friends excited: ask them to share their opinions on the topic the Supreme Court is currently debating.  (If you would like some background information, you can read it here, here, and here.)

I realize that there are a lot of issues involved in this.

-How do we define marriage?
-WHO defines marriage?
-Is homosexual marriage a right?
-Should the government have a role in marriage at all?
-Who decides who can get married and who can't?

Disclaimer:  I'm going to state some of my beliefs here.  I understand many of you may disagree with me, and that's OK.  I'd love a discussion in the comments.  I just ask that we all respect each other as people created by God.

For me, the bottom line is GOD.  God supersedes the government in authority.  God's Word contains the directives for daily life.  Obedience to God is the best way to live.  So I stand by God's definition of marriage.

Genesis 2:23-24: The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 1:27-28: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it."

God created marriage to be between one man and one woman.  (Side note: his directive to "be fruitful and increase in number" would be impossible to fulfill if marriage had been designed to also include same-sex couples!)

Now, should the government have the right to define what marriage is?
I acknowledge that our government isn't perfect.  It may even be described as corrupt.  And I realize that governments have been used in the past for great ill.
That doesn't negate the fact that government was originally instituted by God for the order and benefit of society.  (In 1 Samuel, God chose the first king, Saul, for the people of Israel.)  In the United States, our government has outlawed such sins as murder and theft, and sexual sins such as incest, rape, and child pornography.  I believe that therefore homosexuality can be decreed by our government as illegal.

This brings me to the next point... is homosexuality a sin?
I believe it is.  I believe that anything outside God's design for marriage is sinful.  And the Bible does speak to this.  Genesis 19:1-11 make it clear that homosexual behavior is punishable.  Leviticus 20:10-17 condemns homosexuality, incest, adultery, and bestiality.  1 Corinthians 6:9 clearly condemns homosexuality, along with other sins.

Romans 1:24-28 states, "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts for the degrading of their bodies with one another...Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.  In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another.  Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion."  It is helpful to read this passage in its full context: Romans 1:20-32.  Also see this article for a helpful discussion of the topic.

Now, I must make the most important point.
Do I condemn homosexuals?

NO!

I cannot condemn any sinner.  Why?  Because I, too, am a sinner.  It is up to God to condemn sin.  I saw an excellent quote on Facebook, that has been attributed to Rick Warren (although I can't verify that):

Our culture has accepted two huge lies.  The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them.  The second is that to love someone means to agree with everything they do.  Both are nonsense.  You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you."  Jesus loves everyone equally.  That's the kind of equality I'm all about!  He does not love any person more or less for the choices they've made.  However, Jesus did tell the prostitute caught in her sin, "Neither do I condemn you.  Now go and sin no more."  (John 8:10-11)

Jesus died a horrific death on the cross so that the sins of all people, of all time, would be paid for.  He wants all people to be in heaven with him someday.  All people have been created by God, and God loves them all, so very much!  Whether your sin is drunkenness, gluttony, sloth, greed, murder, lust, theft, homosexuality, or any other sin, Jesus has died to eliminate that sin.  He has died for you (and me!) because he loves us.  And he doesn't want us to be separated from God for eternity.

So am I going to say homosexuality is wrong?  Yup.  Am I going to say it's something no one should do?  Yes.  Am I going to back the government if it makes a law that homosexuality is illegal?  Well, I'm not going to complain... but the government hasn't outlawed my sinful habits of rudeness, laziness, and meanness.  The government isn't required to make such a decision.

Will I continue to strive to love everyone around me equally, with the love of Jesus?  You bet.  Because that's how God does it.


Linking with: Upward Not Inward, Deep Roots at Home, Raising Homemakers, We are THAT Family, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage

A Demonstration of Selfless Love: Reflections on Monday of Holy Week

This weekend, my husband demonstrated the beauty of what real love in marriage is all about.

I was sick all day Friday, and then pushed myself too much Saturday morning and was tired the rest of the day, and much of yesterday as well.  I slept a lot.  I didn't cook at all on Friday, and not till supper on Saturday.  Supper yesterday was the first real meal we've eaten together, that I cooked, all weekend.

But has my husband complained?  Not one bit.  He's even helped with the dishes.  He encouraged me to rest.  He just quietly did his own thing while I was sleeping and recovering.  He was sweet and helpful on Friday when I was feeling the crummiest.  He stayed home from class to take care of me.  He even brought me 7-Up because we didn't have any in the house.  He's made me tea, brought me blankets, adjusted the heat when my feverish self went from cold to hot and back again, and kept me company.  We spent a lot of time playing LEGO Lord of the Rings on the PS-3 this weekend (perfect activity to do when one is sick; using the video game controller takes virtually no energy!).

He hasn't even complained about the fact that I've done no housework all weekend, that I was the most boring wife imaginable (I don't even know how many hours I slept the last three days!), or that he had to fend for himself in the kitchen (although he's perfectly capable of feeding himself :) ).

Can I just say, my husband is awesome.  He's loved me like crazy this whole weekend without expecting or asking anything in return.

He's demonstrating to me Christ-like love: selfless love, love that gives without expecting to get.  Yet another reason why I love my husband so much.  He models Jesus to me.

And, what a lovely coincidence, this happens to be the week that we remember the days that Jesus demonstrated his love for us in the most radical, selfless, incredible way possible.

He gave his life for us.  And in the days leading up to his death on the cross, Jesus spent his time teaching his disciples, preparing them for what would happen in the days ahead, giving them spiritual encouragement and strength, and loving them.  "As I have loved you," he said, "love one another." (John 13:34-35)

It's actually not possible for us to perfectly love one another in the way Christ loved us.  We're human, after all, and it's only by the power of God that we're able to love at all.  But by his grace, we can demonstrate that kind of selfless love for each other, motivated by what Christ has done for us.  His love for us is so great that he willingly died for all people--even though they didn't all love him.  "God shows his love for us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  (Romans 5:8)

That's the kind of perfect love I will never be able to achieve, but it is the love that, by God's grace, I am so thankful to receive.

How have you seen the love of Christ active in your life this weekend?

Linking with:  A Proverbs 31 Wife, Grits and Grace, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, Countrified Hicks, Yes They're All Ours

How to Use Words for Good in Your Marriage

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  Ah, the bravado rhyme heard in schoolyards across America.
Or was that just when I was in first grade?

Anyway, we've all heard it...and if we have any life experience at all, we know it's not true.
Words are incredibly powerful.  They have the ability to encourage, lift up, relieve, restore-- or break down, sadden, anger, and injure.

Have you ever thought about how your use of words can make a difference, for better or for worse, in your marriage?

Some of the most important words we've ever said to each other--our wedding vows!

Ladies, let me share a little secret with you: men often have very fragile egos.  Most of them won't admit this, but it's true, unless your man is blessed with extraordinary self-confidence.

What does this mean?  Well, men are usually the ones with the job of financially providing for their family.  If they feel that they don't do this as well as they think they should, it will be a touchy subject, and they need to hear your encouragement that they do work hard and do a good job providing.

Men sometimes have insecurities about their physical appearance.  This isn't true for all guys, but no matter how your husband feels about himself, he will appreciate being told how hot you think he is. ;)

Probably the area in which men can sometimes have the least self-confidence is their sexuality.  Ladies, our husband want to know that we need, want and desire them sexually.  When we initiate, they take that as a huge compliment, because it means we actually like them and like sex with them.  If a man knows he's able to please his wife sexually, it'll increase his confidence in all other areas of his life!

Now, these are meant to be generalizations.  Not all men think the same, not all men need the same encouragement, and not all men have the same insecurities.  But these are the biggies for most guys.  Talk to your husband, or just observe him and pay close attention to what he says, and try to determine those areas of his life in which he struggles with confidence.

Then, learn how to encourage him, build him up, and strengthen his confidence in himself!

Use words for good in your marriage.  Avoid making comments that may hurt him, even if you don't mean them to be hurtful, and don't intentionally insult him or anything that makes him who he is.  I have shoved my foot in my mouth more than once by making a stupid comment that I didn't intend to mean much, but that hurt my husband considerably.  I felt horrible.  And it's a lot harder to make up for something you shouldn't have said than it is to just avoid saying it in the first place.

When you start looking for ways to build your husband up with your words, watch his attitude change.  A husband wants approval from his wife, and when he gets it, he feels like he can do anything.  Knowing that you, his wife, think he's great, will make your husband feel like he's on top of the world.

(And when he's happy, just watch how your own mood improves!)

So tell me, ladies, how do you use words to encourage and strengthen your husband?  Gentlemen, how do you encourage your wives verbally?  Any ideas or advice for me?

Linking with: Deep Roots at Home, To Love, Honor and Vacuum , We are THAT Family, Raising Homemakers, Messy Marriage, Yes They're All Ours

Married Couples with Married Friends

Two of our dearest friends are visiting this week.  I've talked about them before--we've been friends for nearly three years now, and they are an incredible blessing in our lives.  The four of us have been able to give each other advice, help encourage each other in our marriages, and cheer each other on.  We pray with and for each other, laugh together, and share our struggles with each other.

Joshua and I also have other married friends.  They're people who are able to help strengthen us in our marriage, and who we have been able to encourage in theirs.  We're also very good friends with all of our parents, and they are an amazing blessing to us as well.

It's since we've started making friends with other married couples that I have come to realize how incredibly important it is to have friends who are married.

Photo credit:  photostock via www.freedigitalphotos.net

Finding married friends is easier for some people than others.  Since we're so young, many of our peers are getting engaged but most of them aren't married yet.  But if you're a stay-at-home mom with a busy working husband, the two of you might not have time to spend with other married couples.  It might be a struggle to find time to get away without your kids.

Can I encourage you to try?  And if you don't currently have any married friends, seek them out?

It's a blessing for married couples to have married friends for several reasons:

1) You can encourage each other, in so many ways.  Each couple can encourage each other in their faith, in their parenting, in their romantic life, and in various aspects of their marriage.

2) Women need female friends and men need male friends.  If you're friends with another married couple, it's a blessing for both you and your husband individually.  Your spouse should be your best friend, but women understand each other in ways that men don't, and the same is true for men.

3) You can provide childcare for each other.  If you struggle with finding time for a date night, you can exchange childcare with another couple.  One night a week, you can take care of their children, and another night, they can watch yours.  This way each couple gets some time alone, and it will save you money on babysitters!

4) You can be accountable to each other.  If you and your spouse are struggling in an area of your marriage, ask trusted friends to hold you accountable to working on the problem.

5) Have fun together!  When our friends still lived nearby, we had dinner with them almost every week, played games together, went on double-dates together, and spent a lot of time laughing together.  We still do. :)


Having friends who you can go to with anything is a huge stress reliever.  It's a spiritual lift--you can  pray for each other and encourage each other in your faith.  And it will add joy and peace to your life, when you can laugh together and enjoy being together.

If you have married friends, thank God for them!  Tell them you're thankful for them.  And enjoy the blessing of their friendship.

If you don't have any friends who are married, seek them out.  Are their parents of your children's classmates with whom you have things in common?  Are there other couples at your church around your age?  Is there anyone at your workplace with whom you could begin a friendship?  Ask God's guidance, and ask him to bring some friends in your life.  God can bless you through your friends--and through you, he can bless them.

Today, I'm thanking God for my friends.


What about you?  If you're married, do you have friends who are?  What are you thankful for about them?

Linking today with: A Proverbs 31 Wife, Countrified Hicks (I'm featured here this week!!), The Alabaster Jar,  What Joy is Mine, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom

Thankfulness in all things

It's been a few weeks since I wrote a "Thankful Thursday" post.  These last several days have kept me quite busy--but you know, I'm thankful for the busyness too, because it's a result of having fantastic college classes, a home to care for, friends with whom to spend time, responsibilities to fulfill.

I'm thankful for the opportunity I had last week to be on the hair and makeup crew for our school's production of "Arsenic and Old Lace."  The cast and crew were such a fun group of people to work with, and despite being gone every evening for a week, I'm so glad I was a part of it!

I am SO thankful for the amazing professors we have here.  They're always open to talking about anything, class-related or not.  They're fantastic teachers.  They encourage me in my faith.  They help me stretch myself, learn and grow.

I am thankful for the creative ways we've been making food stretch the last couple days--payday is tomorrow!  This girl is excited for grocery shopping! :D

I'm constantly thankful for my sweet husband, who makes me laugh, who helps me around the house without being asked, who encourages me and helps me think straight.  I'm thankful for the time we've spent together just talking and having fun.

I am so thankful for our dear friends who are coming to visit us next week!  We're so excited to spend time with them--it's been since last summer since both of us couples were together.  They are such a blessing.

I'm thankful for the sunshine, and the slightly warmer temperatures this week, and the green things starting to come up from the ground.  Spring is coming soon!

I am eternally grateful for the love of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, who did everything necessary for my salvation from sin.  It is because of him and his great love for me that I am able to live joyfully and freely, not bogged down by sin, because from it Christ has set me free.


What gifts has God given you this week?  How has he blessed you?  Please share in the comments!

Linking with: The Fontenot Four, black tag diaries, There's Just One Mommy