How to Make a Marriage Last

Throughout Scripture, I see evidence that God really likes marriage. He came up with the idea in the first place when he created Adam and Eve for each other. Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding. And God used marriage to describe the relationship between Jesus and the body of believers.

God designed marriage to be something that takes people and makes them "one flesh." This is a bond that was never designed to be broken. God actually said in Malachi 2:16, "I hate divorce." God designed marriage to be for life!

How do we make a marriage last that long, though? The current mindset of our society suggests that people aren't even interested in a lifelong marriage. More than half of all couples who marry eventually get divorced (source). Obviously we're doing something wrong if the average marriage has such a short lifespan.

Now, I understand that there are some good reasons to get divorced. Actually, I think there are two: abuse and infidelity. When one spouse hurts the other and/or refuses to remain faithful, it's reasonable for the other spouse to divorce them. (Even in such cases, there can be reconciliation and healing, although that's not always possible.)

But I'm not talking about why a marriage could end. How do we keep that from happening? What can we do to make a marriage last?

I think that in order to keep their marriage strong and healthy for a whole lifetime, couples should avoid making two fatal assumptions: One, that love is a feeling, and two, that marriage is something a husband and wife can do on their own.

Never fall into the trap of thinking that love is a feeling. Attraction is a feeling. Lust is a feeling. Affection is a feeling. Love--real, enduring love--is a choice. It is a decision, and it is a commitment.

Sometimes, on those rare occasions when we're really upset with each other, my husband or I will say to the other, "I love you, but I do not like you very much right now." Love lasts through petty arguments, through financial problems, car breakdowns, difficult pregnancies, whining toddlers, and raising teenagers.

Why?
Because love is NOT something we find within ourselves. Love is a gift from God, and it finds its sole source in him. God loves us SO much that his love flows through us to those around us. John wrote in his first epistle, "We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19) We are only able to love each other because God loves us!

Furthermore, we are able to continue loving others because God gives us the ability to do so. Not only did he set an example for us of what love is, he gives us the strength to love because that is something that pleases him (Philippians 4:13).

We do not look to ourselves or our spouse for the strength to keep loving them, including during those times when they don't deserve it or aren't acting loving toward us. We look to God, who knows our needs, hears our prayers, and continues to fill us with his love.

This brings me to the second trap: never think that your marriage is something you and your spouse can do well on your own. A marriage should always be a team of three: you, your spouse, and God. Remember, God created marriage and designed it to last, and he wants your marriage to last a lifetime!

He is willing and able to give you and your spouse the tools you need to build a solid, lasting marriage. Those tools, gifts from him, are numerous (patience, wisdom, kindness, a sense of humor, etc.), but besides love, I think the most important is forgiveness.

As God gives us the ability to love, he also enables us to forgive. True forgiveness is only possible when we realize that we have been forgiven. My husband and I are both sinners for whom Jesus died. He has forgiven our sins, and paid the price for the sins of the whole world. Now that we have been forgiven, we can forgive one another. No sin we commit against each other is bigger than the ones Jesus has already forgiven us for!

So how do you make a marriage last? Look to Jesus. Find in him a love that is so incredible it will flow from him, to you, and to your spouse. Realize that he has forgiven you of every wrong thing you ever did or will do, and realize that he gives you the ability to forgive as you have been forgiven. Make him the center of your marriage--let everything in your life find its focus in Christ. It's with his love, forgiveness, strength, and grace that you can build a marriage that will last a lifetime.


Linking with Messy Marriage, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Guilty, but Declared Innocent

This post is third in a mini-series based on my jury duty experience.
See part one here
and part two here.

The main job of a juror is to look at the facts as seen in the evidence, and decide if the defendant is guilty or innocent, based on what the facts say.

In the case for which I was a juror, the facts didn't make that job easy. It was hard to trust the validity of the witnesses' testimonies, or the accuracy of computer data. We had no way of knowing whether something was dependable or not. Therefore, we had to decide that there was not enough proof to declare the defendant guilty of the main crime of which he had been accused. So, of that crime, we decided he was innocent.

As a sinful human being who answers to a far greater Judge than the one sitting in the courtroom I was in, I am not so lucky. There is very solid evidence against me. There's no jury debating my guilt or innocence.
I am, beyond all possible doubt, guilty of sin. I have broken God's laws, and God, who sees and knows everything, has no doubt of that.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23

Satan has accused me. My own sinful nature has convicted me.

But I will not receive the punishment due a guilty verdict.

"...and are justified freely by His grace." Romans 3:24

You see, when the Law pronounced guilty every person who's ever lived, God's Son stepped in to take the punishment we all deserve.
As a lawbreaker, I deserve death. Eternal separation from God.

"For the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23a

I'm not getting what I deserve.

"...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23b

Jesus Christ took my guilt upon himself. He had never sinned, and he was perfect--holy, pure and righteousness. He told his Father, "Look at them and see my sinlessness. Look at me and see their sin." And God said, "Yes. For your sake, I forgive them wholly."

"God made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21

He took the punishment that was rightfully mine--all of ours. He died. He experienced total separation from God, besides a physically excruciating death. He was mocked, humiliated, and tortured--so that I would not be.

But Jesus didn't stay dead. He paid the price, all right. But he is God, and God cannot die.

He faced my accuser--Satan. He announced that he had paid the price for my sin. And he declared to Satan that I can no longer be accused of guilt. Past, present, and future sins were all covered by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Nothing I do will earn me eternal condemnation. God looks at me as one holy and perfect, covered by the righteousness of his Son.

Now, I'll still have to face consequences for the poor choices I make. But I will never have to endure the punishment that those wrongs deserve.

There's no question: I committed the crime. But there's also no question that the guilt is no longer mine. The holy Son of the righteous Judge has taken my punishment. I am free and redeemed because of his love and grace.

I am a sinner and a saint.

If we're all about the "I" today, I'd like to talk about what I am.

I am a sinner.  Born into sin, because of the sin of Adam and Eve that has been passed down to me through all those generations.  And I live in sin, because of the sinful choices I make every day.  We live in a sin-filled world, and that's just reality.

But I'm also a saint.  No, that doesn't mean I'm perfect.  I am a child of God.  In my baptism, the Holy Spirit came into my heart and gave me faith.

God lives in me.

That's an amazing thing.  As a result of this, my soul belongs to God and lives in harmony with him.  That's the saint-side of me.

It's hard to understand, I know.  I don't fully understand it myself.  But I know it's true.

Just as every minute of every day I am sinning--doing things in opposition to God--so also, every minute of every day, I am living a life that is obedient to God and pleasing to him.

How can that be?  How can I, just sitting here, be obeying God?

That's the same question I asked a professor a couple years ago, when we were discussing this in a class.  What he told me I will always remember.
"Well, you're sitting here in class," he said.  "In doing so, you're fulfilling your vocation of student.  You're giving attention and respect to me, as your teacher, someone in authority over you.  You're preparing yourself for whatever future vocation God has planned for you.  You're contributing to the discussion and helping others learn and grow.  So, just by having your rear in that chair right now, you're obeying and honoring God."

I had never thought of it like that before.  Even without meaning to, without doing it intentionally, my whole life is one of obedience to God.  Why?  Because the Holy Spirit lives in me and enables me to wholly serve, love and obey God.

It's not about me.  If it was up to me, I would only be sinning all the time.  It's only because of God's grace, mercy and forgiveness that I am able to be obedient to Him.

That gives me so much joy.  One of the biggest goals of my life is to give honor to my Jesus.  And because of His love for me, I do that all the time!  It's wonderful how He helps me so much in my desire to live in obedience to Him.  He knows that if it wasn't for His help, I'd never be able to do it myself! :D

You know what's wonderful?  If you're a baptized believer in Jesus, you're a sinner and saint, too.  Sure, you'll struggle with sin all the time.  But don't despair--because of Jesus, you are always a saint.  And someday, when our earthly bodies have died, our eternal souls will live forever with Jesus in heaven--in perfection!

God is Number One

Mondays are Marriage Mondays at Living in the Light.  If you're a new visitor (especially if you're visiting from the Challenge)--welcome!!  I'm so happy you're here.  Check out my "About Me" page HERE, some of my favorite posts on marriage HERE, and my two most popular posts HERE and HERE.

If I was ever asked to give just one tip for making marriage great, it would be this:

Make God #1.

In your marriage, in your life, in your thoughts and actions.

When God gave the Ten Commandments, he began like this:

And God spoke all these words, saying,

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

“You shall have no other gods before me." Genesis 20:1-3

Having "no other gods" doesn't simply mean not worshiping false idols or the gods of other religions.  It means not putting anything in one's life before God--and that includes one's spouse!

In the book of Matthew, a lawyer questioned Jesus and asked

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he [Jesus] said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40

What are we to do above everything?  Love God with all our "heart, soul, and mind."  In other words, with everything we have in us.  And second, we are to love those around us as we love our spouses.

I don't want this to be all about what we do.  Because ultimately, life isn't about us.  Marriage isn't about us.  It's about God.  Life is a gift from him.  Marriage is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest gifts God's given us in this life.  In marriage, God has given us a picture of the kind of sacrificial, selfless love he has for us.  Of course, marriage doesn't always perfectly reflect that love--in fact, no marriage is ever perfect.  That's because all marriages are between two sinful human beings.  But God shows us grace, and blesses us despite our failures and shortcomings.  He continues to pour out his love abundantly on us and our spouse, even when we don't deserve it.  And God's love for us enables us to love one another.

The best thing any person can do for their marriage is to focus on God.  Our spouse will fail us, and we will fail them.  But God is always faithful, and we can trust that when we do fail, he will forgive us and renew us and our marriage.

What do you think?  Is this a helpful suggestion for marriage?  What's the one best tip for marriage you would give? 

Linking with: The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, A Proverbs 31 Wife

Forgiveness, and why it's amazing.

On Saturdays I'll be talking about a "serious" topic for the A to Z Challenge.  If you're a new visitor (especially if you're visiting from the Challenge)--welcome!!  I'm so happy you're here.  Check out my "About Me" page HERE, some of my favorite posts on marriage HERE, and my two most popular posts HERE and HERE.

Of all the blessings of being a child of God, forgiveness is one of the ones I'm most thankful for (besides salvation!), but it's the one I often find hardest to accept.

The concept is a difficult one for our minds to wrap around sometimes.  Here's how God's forgiveness works:  We sin.  Jesus died to pay the price for that sin.  We confess our sin and our desire to repent, to turn away from it.  God says, okay, your sin is gone.  My Son eliminated it.  It's no longer on your record, I'm not going to remember it, and now you get to try again, and I'll help you.

Sometimes there are consequences, even when we are forgiven, but the guilt is gone.

What Satan often tries to do (and sometimes succeeds) is to make us think that we're still guilty.  Or that we have to do something to earn forgiveness.

We're not.  And we don't.  Forgiveness is a gift.  It's not something we deserve, it's not something we earned because we're good enough, or because we're faithful enough.

We have forgiveness--we NEED it--because we're not good enough.  That's why it's a gift.  It's all about grace: God's undeserved kindness toward us, because of His Son Jesus.

Another amazing thing about forgiveness is that we get to share it.  Because we've been forgiven, we are free to forgive others.

Sin is a part of life.  It's inevitable.  It's inescapable.  But IT HAS BEEN CONQUERED.  Christ's death destroyed forever the power of Satan, sin, and death.  We still fight the battles against our sinful natures, but the war has already been won.  Because of this, we have the ability to pronounce forgiveness to others.  Because we have been shown God's grace, we can show grace to those who sin against us.  And we can tell them the good news of God's forgiveness.

It's funny, I struggle with remembering that I'm forgiven, and with forgiving myself.  But I have no trouble reminding others that THEY are forgiven!  Sometimes I need to preach to myself as much as I need to encourage others.

That's when I turn to God's Word, and the words in 1 John chapter 1:

"If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  But if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  (1 John 1:8-9)

How I was saved, and how you were, too!

This post was inspired by this salvation story on natashametzler.com.  Reading Natasha's post and responding to it got me thinking about my own salvation story!

The story of my salvation doesn't start with me.  It starts with God.  God, who created heaven and earth and everything in them.  God, who from the beginning of the world had a plan to conquer sin and death (Genesis 3:15).  God, who sent His Son to earth to become a human baby, who would grow into a sinless human man, who would die for the sins of the whole world (John 3:16).

Image Credit:  bela_kiefer via www.freedigitalphotos.net

My salvation starts with the incredible love of God.  It's because God loves us--all people--so much that He has a plan for all of us to spend eternity with Him.

He gives us faith.  We become His children.  We believe in His Son, Jesus Christ, and the fact that Jesus' death paid the price for all the wrong we ever do.  We live a brief life on earth, obeying God and loving Him according to His Word and in response for the gifts He constantly gives us (in addition to the gift of faith in Him!  Wow!).  Then, when our sinful, earthly bodies die, our sinless souls are united with God in heaven, and spend eternity joyfully with Him in paradise.

This is what God did for me.  He made me his child just four weeks after I was born into this world.  In my baptism, the Holy Spirit came into my heart by the power of God's Word, and gave me faith.  It wasn't necessary for me to understand what that meant, because my saving isn't about me.  It's not anything I do.  God saves us, God makes us His children.  It's kind of like how we become our parents' children.  We don't have any choice to become their children.  And they don't love us because of anything we do.  They love us simply because they are our parents.  God loves us because He is our Father.

So I became God's child through the miracle of baptism.  As I grew, my parents taught me, using God's Word, how much God loves me, and what Jesus did for me.  And I knew for sure that I was God's child.  I knew that whenever I died, I would be in heaven with Jesus.  I knew that I was sinful, and did bad things, but I also knew that God forgave those sins when I asked Him to, just as my parents told me they forgave me when I disobeyed them.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm still constantly learning what it means to be God's child.  How does that play out in my everyday life?  God reminds me daily to trust Him in everything.  He has to keep teaching me how to accept His forgiveness, because I struggle with remembering that.  Satan is constantly working to try to pull me away from God, but I know that because the Holy Spirit lives in my heart, Satan can't hurt me.  Jesus has already defeated him and his power, and I have nothing to fear.

So my salvation story doesn't end with me, either.  It ends with the ultimate gift from God--eternal life in heaven.  It will end when my sinful body dies, and my eternal, holy, sinless soul is taken to heaven by Jesus, where I will live with Him forever.  There no one will be sad or in pain.  There will be no death, no grief, no discomfort.  There will be joy, peace, love, and light, and it will be more wonderful than we can ever imagine, until we actually get there.

God wants everyone to be in heaven with Him.  He has created you just like He did me, and He loves you, too, more than you will ever understand.  I hope you know my Jesus, too, and know that He is your Lord and Savior--and how much He loves you.  You can spend eternity in heaven, too, because Jesus paid the price for your sins as well as mine.  Try saying this to God, your Father--you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain:

"Dear God, I know you love me.  I know you sent your Son, Jesus, to pay the price for my sins.  I acknowledge Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  Thank you for giving me faith in you and in what Jesus has done for me.  Now, as your child, I give my whole life to you."

Linking up today: A Holy Experience, Upward Not Inward, Deep Roots at Home, Raising Homemakers, We are THAT Family

Forgiven: Knowing it, believing it, living it.

I'd like to do a little soul-baring with you, my dear readers.  Perhaps one of you has had an experience like mine, so I hope that sharing my own story will bless you, as well.

Image courtesy of David Castillo, www.freedigitalphotos.net

For much of my life I've had what you might call a legalistic mindset.  I've always understood about grace, don't get me wrong.  I know Jesus died for my sins, I know that because of him I'll have eternal life, I know that God has forgiven every sin I've ever committed or will ever commit.  I know I don't have to DO anything at all for my salvation--Jesus has done it all.

But I struggle with applying what I know in my head, to what I truly believe in my heart.  I've never struggled with faith in Christ, but I've struggled with letting go of my sin.  With accepting the fact that God's forgiveness erases that sin from my life.

It's not like I've done anything "majorly wrong."  I've never done drugs, smoked or gotten drunk.  I was a virgin when I got married.  I've avoided swearing and bad language.  I've never broken a federal law.  My parents raised me to be a good, honest, obedient and law-abiding person.

But I'm just as sinful as anyone else, and I also happen to have a bit of a "guilt complex."  Or, as my husband says, an overly active conscience.  I struggle with letting go of my own sins.

I struggle with forgiving myself, and accepting that through Christ, God has forgiven me.

Does this sound like you?  Have you ever had a struggle like this?

Whether you have or not, perhaps what I've learned will be helpful for you.

Since I started dating Joshua, he has been a powerful voice of forgiveness in my life.  He easily and quickly forgives me when I sin against him and ask his forgiveness.  He's reminded me time and again of God's forgiveness.  And I'll remember that, and know it, for a while.  But then that little voice inside me pulls up a wordless doubt, one that darkens the cheerfulness I usually feel, and makes me feel sorry for myself.  "I'm just not good enough.  I'll always have to struggle with this.  The consequences will always be part of my life.  I don't deserve forgiveness."

I read a blog post today where the author talked about forgetting.  She asked God to remove memories of past sins, so that she wouldn't dwell on them anymore.  This, I realized, is what I needed to do-forget about those sins.  Dwelling on my sins, hanging on to that guilt, and refusing to forgive myself, is actually sin in itself.  It's letting the law take over my life, instead of filling my life with the Gospel.  Then I read another blog post with a similar message, and tonight Joshua and I watched the movie October Baby.  It's about a teenage girl who discovers that she's adopted...and that her birth mother had attempted to have her aborted, but the abortion failed.  The girl also had a twin brother, and although they were both born alive, her brother died.  She struggled to forgive herself for living when her brother died, to forgive her birth mother for trying to kill her, and to forgive her adoptive parents because they had kept the truth from her for a long time.
In the movie there is a powerful message of forgiveness--that because God has forgiven us, we have the ability and the power to choose to forgive others.  Including ourselves.

As the movie was ending I dissolved in tears...because for the first time in a long time, I felt truly at peace with myself.  I realized that I was damaging myself by refusing forgiveness.  And so I let go.  I let go of the guilt I've been clinging to.  What a self-centered thing I had been doing.  It's not like it consumed my life...but it would come up at times, and I wouldn't just let it go.  But I believe God spoke to my heart today.  And so I've let go of the past, those sins that no one else would blame me for but for which I've been blaming myself.  The sins that Satan's been using to hurt my heart.

I read a Scripture verse on a blog today, and it applied so well to my blog, but also to God's gentle message to me today.  It's at the top of this page.  Scroll up and read it.

It's especially the last sentence of that verse that really means a lot to me right now.

I also love these other words of God about forgiveness:

"I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts.  I will be their God, and they will be my people.  No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least of the greatest," declares the Lord.  "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." Jeremiah 31:33b-34

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."  Psalm 103:8-14

God doesn't remember my sins.  Jesus' sacrifice on the cross took care of that.  God has removed my sins from me; they are no longer part of my life.  He is gracious, not "fair"--I don't get what I deserve.  I deserve eternal punishment.

What God's given me is eternal life.  And grace, forgiveness, and everlasting love.

There is no reason for me to hang onto my guilt.  There is no reason to deny myself forgiveness, not when God has forgiven me long ago.  I am a saved, baptized, forgiven child of God.

And just as Jesus died to save me from MY sins, so he died to save you from yours.  Remember that verse at the top of the page?  That's for you, too.  When we repent of our sins--turn away from them--God is quick to forgive, and remind us of how much he loves us.

And he loves us so very much.

I hope you know that.  If you don't, please talk to me, or talk to a pastor or another Christian you know, who is walking with Jesus.  If you don't believe in Jesus in your personal Lord and Savior, he wants you to, so much!  He wants you to know that you are his child.

It's amazing how much Jesus loves us.  I've been reminded of that today, yet again, and I hope you know that in your heart, too.

Linking with: Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers, Time-Warp Wife, Exceptionalistic 

How I've Been a Hypocrite

My dear readers, I have a confession to make.

I've been quite a hypocrite this summer.

Here I've been writing all these posts about how to be a good, godly wife, what I've been learning about marriage, how to love my husband, the importance of really listening to him...

and I've messed up.  Big-time.

Let me set up the scenario for you:
Joshua and I have started reading The Lord of the Rings together.  He had already read The Fellowship of the Ring, and I read that and half of The Two Towers, but a long time ago.  So we read some chapters together, and I was reading a few on my own, to catch up and because bibliophile me can't really put a book down once I start reading it (and getting into it, which I definitely am with Lord of the Rings!).

Sunday night, my husband asked that I not start reading The Two Towers because he wanted us to read it entirely together.
By Monday morning, that request had slipped my mind, and yesterday I read the first two chapters.
Last night, my husband discovered this and was not happy.

You need to know a couple things about my Joshua:
1) He is an introvert.
2) His primary love-language is quality time.

I did not realize how much reading this book together meant to him.  I thought (forgetting that he asked me not to) that he wouldn't mind if I read a couple chapters.
It means a LOT to him, and he minded quite a bit.

Looong story short, we're all good now, I'm forgiven, I understand where I went wrong, everything is okay.

But I have some work to do.  Because my blunder led me to discover several very important things that I've been blind to all summer.

1) Neither my husband, nor I, have been content with the routine we've gotten into this summer:  Joshua comes home from work, he relaxes with some TV or computer time, I make supper, we eat, we watch a movie or both do things on the computer, we go to bed.
I realized why neither of us has been content with this routine.  Very little of it is about us being together.  Neither of us has liked this...but both of us assumed, wrongly, that the other one was content and/or not interested in doing anything together.  We both messed up on this...but now that we've realized it, we can work to right it.

2) I cannot assume things about my husband; I need to talk to him if I can't figure things out on my own.  (Because we all know what it means to assume...the person who pointed that out to me shall remain nameless.)

3) Sometimes the solution is staring me in the face, and is a lot simpler than I realize.
Togetherness.  That's all my husband wanted.  He doesn't want me to think up elaborate ideas for date nights.  He doesn't need me to write a list of twenty-five things we can do together.  He just wants me.  He wants my attention, my time, and my presence.

4) The things I think my husband wants and needs are not necessarily the things he really does want and need.
I figured that if I kept the house in order, fed him a nice supper, let him do his thing on the computer and TV, watched a movie with him, and had sex before we went to bed, that my husband would be happy.
Eating, rest, alone time and sex are all necessary...but they don't replace actually being together and giving my husband my full attention and self.  It doesn't work if I'm constantly thinking of other things I need to/should be doing, or if I spend the entire evening in the kitchen after he gets home.  He wants ME.  That's it.

5) This problem is fairly easy to fix if I a) get DONE with housework before Joshua gets home each day, b) keep chore-doing to a minimum in the evenings when he is home and c) be intentional and put time together in our schedule.  As soon as this post is written I'm going to write, in ink, on the calendar, "DATE NIGHT" at least every three weeks.  And nothing, absolutely nothing, will mess with those nights.

6) I realized last night how much I really mean to my husband.  That was huge.  It's good to know how much he appreciates the meals I make or that I keep the house in order...but knowing he just wants me??  That made me feel so treasured and loved.  And it made me resolve to make HIM feel the same way, by focusing more on him.

It's horrible when it takes a bad thing to wake me up to more bad things I've been doing...but the result of all this is that I think things in our marriage are really going to change for the better.  I can't believe how blind and stupid I've been all summer....but THANK GOD for the forgiveness which he has given me and which he has enabled my husband to give me.

Once again, it's Romans 8:28 in action.  God uses ALL things, even our silly, selfish sins, to work for our good.  I'm praying that he will enable me to be a much more selfless, loving, and attentive wife, and that our marriage will continue to grow, mature, and become more joy-filled every day.

And I'm sorry for being such a hypocrite!


Linking up today...
Cornerstone Confessions; Far Above Rubies; Growing Home; Thankful Homemaker; Time-Warp Wife; Lessons from Ivy

Thankful for God and My Husband {and what they have in common}

Sometimes writing a "Thankful Thursday" post is kind of hard.
Do I make a list of things I'm thankful for?
Or do I pick one thing and expound on that?

This is a good problem to have. :)

I have realized the last few days how much my husband's love for me is like God's love for me (and all his children).  {See the last point of yesterday's post for why marriage is supposed to be like that!}

My husband loves me even when I'm unlovable.  No, he doesn't love me perfectly (only God can do that!), but he still takes care of me, he still does sweet things for me, he still listens to me even when I'm being crabby or disrespectful or if I'm hormonal (which he does NOT deserve).

He forgives me for everything.  We have a hard time holding grudges around here (because who can stay mad at your best friend for long, especially if they're handsome and hilarious like my husband? :D ).  In the same way, God constantly forgives me for everything I do wrong--all because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.

My husband sees beauty in me even when I can't see it in myself.  I got about six inches cut off my hair last week (thanks Mom!) and Joshua keeps playing with it and admiring it.  He is always telling me I'm beautiful even when I know my hair is greasy and I have a breakout on my face and my breath is horrible.  I know that God, my Creator, thinks I'm beautiful, too...just because he made me.  Not because of anything I've done.

My husband encourages me spiritually and in my faith.  Now, of course, God is the source of my faith, and that's something Joshua won't ever be, but he definitely fills the role of spiritual leader.  He prays for us several times every day.  It was his idea to have devotions every morning and pray together in the evenings.  He reminds me to keep trusting God even when I have a hard time doing so.  And oh, the wonderful talks we have about our faith, and who God is, and what it means to be a Christian.

So today, I'm thankful for my husband.  I'm thankful that he helps me understand better who God is.  I'm thankful for his spiritual role in our home.  I'm so very thankful for God's love, forgiveness and understanding, and most of all for the faith that he has given me.

Linking up today with these lovely ladies:
Passionate and Creative Homemaking; The Fontenot Four; black tag diaries; Kate Says Stuff; First Day of My Life; Live Called

What a Young Wife has Learned

My husband and I have been married for a year and two months (and a little more).  It has already been an amazing journey, and I am humbled and awed at the thought that God has given me this incredible man with whom I get to spend my whole life.

I have found, in talking with other young married couples (wives especially) that we're all going through similar things and trying to learn a lot of the same things.  This makes perfect sense; we are, after all, at about the same point in life.

One year of marriage has taught me a lot, thanks be to God.  I have so much more to learn, and I know that, so I can't claim to be an expert of any kind.

But I would like to share today some of the most important things I've learned, which are all based on the Word of God.

1) My husband needs to be respected as well as loved, and that does not come naturally to me like loving does.  As a woman, I have very little difficulty loving people, especially my husband.  But when it comes to respecting him, that takes work.  Perhaps that's why Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

"...each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33

2) I need to say more often to myself, "Hold your tongue, woman!"  Before I speak, I need to think: is it respectful?  Is it loving?  Is it necessary?  Is it timely?  Is it helpful?  Maybe this is just me, but I get into the most trouble by saying things out of turn, or saying something I shouldn't at all.  I could fix a lot by simply being more careful about what I say, and when.

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."         Proverbs 10:19 

3) I need to keep my priorities in order.  First God, then my husband, then myself.  It is necessary to put his needs before my own and be selfless.  Again, this doesn't come naturally, but doing this will have a very positive impact on my life and my marriage.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus..." Philippians 2:3-5

4) My husband and I should forgive each other--always.  This is the key.  This is how our marriage works.  We are both sinful people, saved by grace, yes, but still sinners.  Failing each other is inevitable--which is why forgiveness is such a gift of God, and so very important.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

5) Remember--the ability to love does not come from me, or from my husband.  It is a gift of God. The amazing thing about marriage is that God doesn't expect us to do it on our own.  He gives us the strength, will and resources--like forgiveness--to love, respect and honor our spouse.  Love isn't something I produce on my own power.  It comes from Him.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:7-8

6) Marriage is an earthly example of the love Jesus Christ has for all who believe in him.  The bottom line is, my marriage isn't about me or my husband.  It's about God.  Marriage is a way God blesses his people incredibly.  It is one of the ways he explains to us the love he has for us.  It is an image of the relationship Jesus Christ has with the church--his Bride.  Marriage is another way that we, as God's children, can honor and glorify him.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water thorough the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body.  'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'  This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."  Ephesians 5:21-33

There is so much more I could say about what I have learned about marriage in the last fourteen months, and about what marriage has taught me about myself, about what love is, and about who God is.  But these things, I think, are the most important.


Linking up to these lovely ladies today, with thanks:

Upward Not Inward; New Life Steward; To Love, Honor and Vacuum; Women Living Well; Deep Roots at Home; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home 

 

Trusting God's Promises

This is what I have been hearing from God the last few days:

I have chosen you; I have called you; you are Mine. (2 Thessalonians 2:13; Ephesians 1:4-6)


I know you're not perfect.  I've forgiven all your sins; just tell Me about them, and then we'll forget it.   (1 John 1:8-10)


No, you're not a failure.  I still want you to help carry out My purposes. (Ephesians 2:10; 1 Corinthians 3:9)


I have a plan for you.  It's okay that you don't know all about it yet.  I do, and that's what matters.  (Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 33:10-11)


I know your life is hard sometimes, and you don't always understand why things happen the way they do.  I do understand, and most importantly, I have control of everything.  Nothing happens without my permission.  (Romans 8:28; Matthew 6:25-34; Philippians 4:6-7)


Trust me.  In everything.  I'm bigger than all your problems, and I will take care of you.  (1 Peter 5:6-7; Romans 8:35-39)

These promises of God are true for you, too.


Read those passages from His words to you.  Yes, God wrote the Scriptures with you in mind--and me, and everyone else who has ever lived.

Just trust in his promises.  Read these words of God, spoken through Paul to the Thessalonian believers:

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.  May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it."  -1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Simple Faith

I recently read a book by Janette Oke called A Bride for Donnigan.  I won't give a full synopsis--it was just the end that really moved me yesterday.  (However, I would recommend this and all her books!)

By the end of the book, two parents are trying to raise their six young children as well as they can.  Neither parent was raised in a Christian family, but they believe there is a God, and that they should teach their children about Him.  Slowly, through much study of the Bible, they come to understand what God has done throughout history.  But there is something missing.  The husband and wife are both still burdened with anger and unforgiveness as a result of their past.  Finally, while talking with their children about Jesus, their little girl realized what they needed to do.  "I want to tell God sorry," she sobbed.  Her parents had not yet understood what it meant to pray--that they could just tell God anything--but their small daughter spoke simply to God, telling Him she was sorry for the bad things she had done, and asking Him to forgive her.  When she finished, she looked up at them with a smile full of joy and peace, knowing she was forgiven.

Her parents wanted that.  So, not long afterward, they each told God that they were sorry for what they had done wrong, asked Him to forgive them, and asked Him to help them live their lives in obedience to Him.

It was that simple.  They, too, felt the peace and joy that their little daughter had.

Now, I know this is a fictional story.  But Janette Oke is right.  The apostle John wrote in his first epistle,

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9).

It's that simple.  When we confess our sinfulness, God forgives us and purifies us from the sin within us.

I've been a Christian all my life.  I was baptized when I was less than a month old, and I've had saving faith in Jesus Christ ever since.  I am thankful for this, but sometimes I make my faith more complicated than it needs to be.  Sometimes I'm fooled into thinking I actually have to do something to earn God's forgiveness...that I have to live a perfect life in order to please Him.

Well, I would have to live a perfect life to please God...if Jesus hadn't already done it for me.
There's nothing more I have to do.  Jesus has paid the price for my sins, taken them away on the cross, and provided the means necessary for my eternal forgiveness and salvation.

I don't have to try to impress God.  All He wants me to do is "tell Him sorry."
Thanks be to God for His immeasurable grace!!

Yesterday, as I closed this book, I was in tears.  I realized that I had been trying too hard.  I don't need a big, complicated faith.  Jesus encouraged His followers to have faith like a child--and that's what I need, too: a complete, unassuming faith that expects nothing of myself.  God doesn't expect me to be perfect.  He knows I can't be, and that I can't do anything good on my own.  He is the One who gives me the willpower, strength and ability to please and serve Him.  

So I asked Him for that.  I asked Him if this blog is really what He wants me to do--if it's pleasing and glorifying to Him.  I asked Him to help me be the best wife I can be to Joshua.  I asked God to help me honor, glorify, serve and praise Him in everything I do.

Then, last night, a friend messaged me on Facebook.  She said that my blog was a blessing to her, and even asked for help in coming up with an idea for a devotion.

A comment on yesterday's post suggested that I write devotions for women.

My husband reiterated once again that I am a great wife to him.

Now, it's not often that God answers my prayers quite this clearly.  Sometimes I'm not sure what His answer is.  Sometimes it's "No" or "I have something better for you."  But yesterday, the answer clearly was "Yes."  I am so very thankful to have been encouraged in this way.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins

and purify us from all unrighteousness."

When we pray, "God, please forgive me," that is a prayer He always answers with "Yes."

God keeps His promises.

Whenever we confess, He will forgive and cleanse us.

And it really is as simple as that--as simple as a child's faith.

Precious in His Sight

We all have our prejudices.

I needn't list all mine, but there are those people who, when I see them in the grocery store or at school or wherever, I feel a disapproving look on my face and I start judging them in my thoughts.  "She's really in public wearing that?"  "Wow, he seriously needs to lose some weight."  "She's pregnant and there's no wedding ring on her finger..."

Some of the time I catch myself doing this.  That's when I remind myself of a few things:

-I am not perfect.  There are plenty of reasons for other people to judge me, one of them being my tendency to (at least mentally, if not verbally) put other people down in order to build myself up.

-I am a child of God.  That's no way for me to act or think or speak.

-Most importantly, Christ died for that person too.

Have you ever stopped to think about that?

The people who, when we see them, make us look down our noses in disapproval.

the people who should have it all together.

the lady at the grocery store who can't control her children.

the kid at the gas station with tattoos and piercings all over.

fill in the blank.  The person you just can't stand to be around.

Jesus died for them.

Jesus loves them.

He loves them just as much as he loves you--as he loves me!

We need his forgiveness as much as they do.

Jesus wants them to spend eternity with him, just like he wants us to spend eternity with him.

There are days when I look down upon myself.  When I know I haven't done everything right.  When I feel like I can't do anything right:  I've scolded and nagged my husband, I messed up dinner, I spent way too much time putzing on the computer instead of getting things done, I was crabby when my husband came home, I spent too much money at the store... that's the kind of day when I think about myself,

"You should have it all together."

"Who would want to hang out with you today?"

"Your husband could have chosen a better woman for his wife."

"Man, girl, what is your problem?!?"

On those days I need to remember...

Jesus died for me.

He loves me, with all my mistakes, just as much as he loves the women who seem to have it all together.

Nothing I do or don't do will make him love me any less.

He has given me his full and complete forgiveness, as well as the promise of eternal life, through his death on the cross and his resurrection.

He will give me a new chance, a fresh start, every single day.

So...when you feel those prejudices start to creep up...

when you start to look down on yourself for not measuring up to your (or anyone's) expectations,

just remember this:

Jesus died for everyone.

He rose for everyone.

He loves--everyone!

He wants every single person who has ever lived to spend ETERNITY--in heaven--with HIM.

We are all precious in his sight.

late nights and Advent wonder

This last week or so I've had more of them than usual.  Oddly enough, it's twelve thirty and I'm not remotely sleepy.  I'm also in denial about the fact that I have to be up at seven for work.  Eh, six and a half hours, no problem.  I'll get to sleep in on Friday. :)

The main reasons I've been up so late are homework, and...oh.  Homework.  Yeah, that's it.  Mostly it's self-inflicted (coughprocrastinationcough) but I'm pretty okay with that.  Honestly, if I didn't have to get up as early as I do tomorrow I'd just stay up and write my very last paper and be done with it.  I might have been able to anyway if I hadn't spent so much time playing dumb games on facebook  chatting with my husband who was playing a computer game  procrastinating.  Ugh.

Anyway, being up this late tonight makes me wonder...it's Advent.  Eleven days before the birth of Jesus, was Mary sitting up, looking out her window, wondering what the future held?  A young, very pregnant girl, probably about to set out on the trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem.  What was she feeling?  Fear?  Excitement?  Anticipation?  Nervousness?  All of the above?

Was she feeling hope?  She knew that the baby in her was conceived by the Holy Spirit.

She was carrying, inside her body, God made Man.

Did she feel wonder?  Awe?  Amazement?

Hope?

Some days I fret, not knowing what the future will hold.  I mean, yes, tomorrow I'm getting up and going to work and coming home and going back to work.  We'll celebrate Christmas soon, the next semester will start, in a year and a half we'll finish college.

But will we?  We have no idea what will happen between now and then.  I don't even know what's going to occur in the next hour, the next minute.

But I have hope.  Because although my future might not be certain to me, it's certain to God--that God-made-flesh who was born from Mary, born in a stable, born into a sinful, dark world.

It's still a sinful world.  But Christ, the Light, was born into it, and now a Light shines in the darkness.

There is hope for the future, because that Light has already been there.  God knows what will happen tomorrow, next week, next year.  Nothing will happen in my life without his knowing about it.

And everything that happens to me, God will work for good.

Did Mary know that?  Did she know how eternity-changing her Son's birth would be?  Did she know, anticipating the pains of childbirth, that her baby would experience hell-- for her?  For the world?

I do.  I know what that baby experienced when he became a man.

He did it for me.

An Imperfect Life

I am a bit of a perfectionist.
Okay, that's putting it mildly.

I'm also really critical of myself and others, which combined with the perfectionism can get pretty messy.

Did I mention I'm also a clean freak who has a lazy streak and is stressed in a cluttered living space?
Yeah, not a good combination.

Being married, working, college students, we have time to get the house messy but not really time to get it clean, except for afternoons and evenings when we're usually both home.  And when we're home at the same time, cleaning is usually the last thing I want to do.  (It can be theraputic, however, because I'm relaxed when my house is in order!)

This past Friday we got home from school and I was going on about needing to get the living room picked up, dishes done, supper made, etc, etc.  I was lying on the couch, not wanting to get up and do anything, and I fell asleep.  Joshua brought a blanket and I napped for an hour.  When I woke up life seemed a lot better even though nothing had really gotten done.  But that was okay.

Joshua is my reality check.  He reminds me that sometimes it's a good thing to sit and do nothing.  That it's okay when our house isn't picture-perfect (which it rarely is).  That there are things that matter a lot more than having a clean kitchen.  That it's just fine to not be perfect.

He doesn't expect perfection of me.

Now, that doesn't mean he does not have high expectations for me.  We each expect a lot of each other, and sometimes that causes frustration when we fail to live up to those expectations.

God does expect perfection of us.  "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect," Jesus said (Matthew 5:48).  He also knows that because we're sinful people, we can't be perfect.  That's why he sent Jesus to pay the price for our imperfection, and put on us his own perfect-ness.  When God looks at us now, he sees not our failures but Christ's perfect obedience.

And God forgives us.  Constantly.  For everything.  He gives us a new start every day, making us always right with him when we repent of our sin.

So I can live freely in my imperfection, not being lazy or disobedient, but knowing that Joshua loves me anyway, and God loves me no matter what.  He doesn't really care if I have a messy house, and neither does my husband.  The state of my kitchen or bathroom doesn't have much of an impact on eternity.  The time I spent serving and loving my husband, those people God puts in our lives, and God himself, are far more important. 

That's a truth I can live with.

A Work in Progress

This, I'm ashamed to say, is what my kitchen looked like yesterday morning.

The remains of breakfast (and other dishes) on the table...

A sink filled to overflowing...

Dirty dishes and pans all over the counter and stove.

Facing that was a bit daunting.  It was a big mess in my little kitchen.  But I got started and soon it didn't seem so bad.  Doing dishes isn't really fun, of course, unless you're one of those rare people who thinks so.  The end results are great: a clean kitchen and clean dishes.  But sometimes to get there it takes work, elbow grease...

and smelly Bar Keeper's Friend.  I don't know what I'd do without it, but the smell is nasty.

But getting a pot sparkling clean isn't always pleasant.  Getting rid of yuck usually isn't fun.

I realize I'm being a bit cryptic here.  What does a messy kitchen have to do with anything (other than reminding you that I can sometimes be lazy and messy)?

Well, as I was working, I realized how much I'm like that dirty kitchen sometimes.  I let yucky stuff pile up in my life till it's absolutely overwhelming.  It's such a daunting task I just let it be, ignore it, hope it'll go away on its own--but it doesn't.

That's when I realize how much I need God.  I can't clean up my life on my own.  I can't obey him of my own will.  My own will is selfish and sinful and doesn't want to do what's right.  That results in a messy kitchen and a messed-up life.

God has to come into my life and say, "All right, you have a big mess here, but it's nothing I can't handle.  No mess is too big for My hands.  It's not going to be fun.  It might hurt.  It might be nasty.  It might take a while. And you might not enjoy the process.  But trust Me--it'll be worth it."

God does it right.  He doesn't just do a quick wipe-down of my life, making it look clean, and call it done.  He knows the real problem isn't outward appearances, but what's on the inside.  Outwardly, this bowl looks clean.

On the inside, it's a sticky, smelly, grody mess.  It needs serious work.

In the book of 1 Samuel, God gave the prophet Samuel the job of finding the man God had chosen to be king of Israel.  Samuel went to the house of Jesse and looked at all of Jesse's sons.  Samuel thought they all looked big, strong, and ready to be king.  But God wanted David, the youngest and smallest son.  God told Samuel, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7).

God, in his mercy, doesn't just clean me up on the outside.  He tackles the problem of my sin at its very root: my heart.  In Psalm 51, David cried out to God after David had committed the sin of adultery with Bathsheba.  David prayed, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me" (Psalm 51:10-12).

When we realize our sin and cry out to God in repentance, this is exactly what he does.  He makes us right with him and gives us a fresh start.

Unfortunately, as humans we continue to sin, every day.  My kitchen didn't stay clean for long.  In just a few hours, I did more cooking and it got messy again.  But God is patient.  He doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves.  He knows we can't clean up our lives on our own.  A dirty dish has no power of its own, it can't want to be clean, let alone clean itself.  By the power of the Holy Spirit in us, we have a desire to obey God, to love him, and to serve him.  He gives us the strength to obey him, and he forgives us when we fail.  Paul wrote to the Ephesians,

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:8-10).

I am a constant work in progress.  God my Creator knows that.  He's willing to keep working on me.

(Oh, and by the way, my kitchen did get clean!)

Linking up, one year later, 7/27/2012

Noel's Beautiful Life

I'm Loved: Clean House or Not

My family is coming to visit on Sunday!  They're staying with my grandparents (unfortunately we don't have room for four more people) but Hubby and I will spend as much time as possible with them while they're here.  I can hardly wait!!  It's only been about six weeks since I saw them last, and I know the next time gap will be much longer--either till Thanksgiving or Christmas.  But this will be the first time my parents and siblings will see our apartment.  I have a list on the fridge of what cleaning I want to do before they arrive (and, gulp, I only have three days to finish it!).  I really want my mother, especially, to see that I'm a capable housekeeper and can keep a house clean!  (Mom, if you read this, yes, this is what's going through my mind.)

The house needs cleaning anyway: picking up, dusting vacuuming, etc.  The bathroom got cleaned yesterday; it's always so nice to have a clean bathroom!  This morning I want to get the living room tidied up, dusted and vacuumed.  It really shouldn't take long.  :)

It's not that I'm trying to impress my family...well, I am, to be honest.  And I like having a clean house, so that's a benefit for Hubby and me, too.  But I know I don't have to have a sparkling house to impress my family.  They know I can be messy.  They know I'm not perfect.  They love me anyway, and I know they would whether my house was clean or a disaster!

God is like that.  He looks into our lives and sees the best and the very worst of us.  I sometimes wonder what I'll be doing when Christ returns.  I hope I'll be doing something that's pleasing to him.  But I can't impress God.  He knows how sinful I can be; how disobedient I am to him sometimes (often), how unperfect I am.  But he loves me anyway, whether I'm "good" or not!  The truth is, when God looks at me, he doesn't see sinful, flawed me.  He sees the righteousness of Jesus, which covers me because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross and his glorious resurrection.  He sees the sinless, perfect glory of his Son, even as he knows that I'm a sinner.  He sees the me whom he has forgiven, and continues to forgive daily.

When my parents arrive, they won't care about dust and crumbs on the furniture and floors; they love me because I'm me, not because I can do everything right.  Now, that doesn't mean I shouldn't strive to have a clean house, and to have everything in order!  Just because God loves and forgives us unconditionally doesn't mean we can do whatever we want regardless of whether it's pleasing to God or not.  We obey, love, serve and honor him simply because he is God.  And I want to love, serve and honor my family because they are my family!

So, with that encouragement in mind, I'm going to start getting things done around here!! :)

Great Sin, Greater Savior

In my writing class this morning we were given a few minutes to write a "creative non-fiction" essay with a religion prompt.  One of the suggestions was that I "Think of a time in your life when your faith reached a turning point...when life experiences brought an abstract concept such as sin, forgiveness, grace or hope of eternal life into focus."

This is what I wrote:

I've always, at least as far back as I can remember, been aware of God and his love for and forgiveness of me.  I know that at the age of five I wasn't afraid of dying because I knew I'd go to heaven.

But the magnitude of God's love and grace, his mercy and forgiveness, has become more real to me as I've become more aware of the magnitude of my sin.  I think as we get older and lose innocence, we gain capacity for "bigger" sins, not ones any worse than those we committed as children, but sins that have far greater consequences than hitting a little brother or taking a cookie we shouldn't have.  I know that the sins I've committed in the last couple years have created strong feelings of guilt and remorse that I didn't experience as a child.

Becoming more aware of my own sinfulness has also opened my eyes to the wonder of the Gospel.  God created me, and I sin against him.  He sent his Son to die, and thereby take the punishment for my sins on himself, and I still sin!  But the mind-blowing thing is, no matter how much I sin, God still forgives me.  When Jesus died he paid the price for every sin that I've ever committed or will commit.

I don't want to sin; I want to do good and obey God.  But I end up doing what I don't want to do and not doing what I want to do.  Paul talked about this very thing in Romans 7: "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing" (Romans 7:18-19).  Paul concludes chapter seven with, "Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (7:24-25).  Chapter eight begins, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death" (8:1-2).

Despite my sinfulness, I know that God has taken away all my sins and forgives me, completely and daily.  David writes in Psalm 103, "The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.  He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever.  He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:8-12).  God does not treat us as our sins deserve.  Instead, he is compassionate and gracious, abounding in love, and removing our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

As I have become more aware of just how grievous my sin is, so I have come to realize and become awed by how great God's love is.  His love far surpasses my sin: how great is the love and mercy of God compared to my sin!  How wonderfully does he not reject me.  How amazing his grace is.

Pondering the letter of Jude

This is one little Epistle that I think often gets overlooked.  I was reading the introductory material because I don't know much about the letter.  Apparently it was disputed as to whether or not it was really God-inspired for two reasons: Jude echoes much of what Peter wrote in 2 Peter 2, and twice he quotes Apocryphal literature, which Lutherans don't believe was God-inspired (I can't say for other denominations).  Anyway, it was finally accepted into the Biblical canon and does have a lot of good to say.  Most of the 25-verse book warns about false teachers and compares them with evil people from Old Testament times.  But toward the end Jude encourages his readers,

"But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit.  Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.  Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them, to others show mercy, mixed with fear" (20-23).

It is God who will build us up and keep us and have mercy on us as we look forward to when Christ comes again.  The last sentence describes what we should be doing until then: be merciful to those who doubt (have been influenced by false teachers, those who would try to sway them from their faith); snatch others from the fire (rescue them from being destroyed by Satan, who would try to take away their faith); to others show mercy, mixed with fear (be kind and merciful to those who are not of the faith, but be wary around them in order to not be influenced by them).

Finally, in concluding the book, Jude turns his focus completely to God, who after all is still in control despite the work of Satan and false teachers and those who preach lies.  Jude writes,

"To him who is able
to keep you from falling
and to present you before his glorious presence
without fault and with great joy--
to the only God our Savior
be glory, majesty, power and authority,
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
before all ages, now and forevermore!
Amen."

(I divided up the lines myself; this feels like it could be a psalm so I made it look like one.  Didn't change the text at all!)

God keeps us from falling, from stumbling in our faith.  God will present us, without fault and with great joy, before his own glorious presence!  This verse is such a comfort to me.  It's all Gospel; it takes the work and the burden completely off us and puts it all on God.  It's not about what we do!  It's about HIM, and him alone!  Not only will God keep us strong in our faith in him until the last day, but he will prepare us to stand before him, without fault.  I take that to be a reference to how he has taken all of our sins away and no longer counts them against us.  When we stand before his judgment seat on that last day, he will look at us and see not our sinful selves but the perfect righteousness of his Son who died to wash away our sin.

To that great God be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore!

Amen.