Guilty, but Declared Innocent

This post is third in a mini-series based on my jury duty experience.
See part one here
and part two here.

The main job of a juror is to look at the facts as seen in the evidence, and decide if the defendant is guilty or innocent, based on what the facts say.

In the case for which I was a juror, the facts didn't make that job easy. It was hard to trust the validity of the witnesses' testimonies, or the accuracy of computer data. We had no way of knowing whether something was dependable or not. Therefore, we had to decide that there was not enough proof to declare the defendant guilty of the main crime of which he had been accused. So, of that crime, we decided he was innocent.

As a sinful human being who answers to a far greater Judge than the one sitting in the courtroom I was in, I am not so lucky. There is very solid evidence against me. There's no jury debating my guilt or innocence.
I am, beyond all possible doubt, guilty of sin. I have broken God's laws, and God, who sees and knows everything, has no doubt of that.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23

Satan has accused me. My own sinful nature has convicted me.

But I will not receive the punishment due a guilty verdict.

"...and are justified freely by His grace." Romans 3:24

You see, when the Law pronounced guilty every person who's ever lived, God's Son stepped in to take the punishment we all deserve.
As a lawbreaker, I deserve death. Eternal separation from God.

"For the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23a

I'm not getting what I deserve.

"...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23b

Jesus Christ took my guilt upon himself. He had never sinned, and he was perfect--holy, pure and righteousness. He told his Father, "Look at them and see my sinlessness. Look at me and see their sin." And God said, "Yes. For your sake, I forgive them wholly."

"God made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21

He took the punishment that was rightfully mine--all of ours. He died. He experienced total separation from God, besides a physically excruciating death. He was mocked, humiliated, and tortured--so that I would not be.

But Jesus didn't stay dead. He paid the price, all right. But he is God, and God cannot die.

He faced my accuser--Satan. He announced that he had paid the price for my sin. And he declared to Satan that I can no longer be accused of guilt. Past, present, and future sins were all covered by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Nothing I do will earn me eternal condemnation. God looks at me as one holy and perfect, covered by the righteousness of his Son.

Now, I'll still have to face consequences for the poor choices I make. But I will never have to endure the punishment that those wrongs deserve.

There's no question: I committed the crime. But there's also no question that the guilt is no longer mine. The holy Son of the righteous Judge has taken my punishment. I am free and redeemed because of his love and grace.

Forgiveness, and why it's amazing.

On Saturdays I'll be talking about a "serious" topic for the A to Z Challenge.  If you're a new visitor (especially if you're visiting from the Challenge)--welcome!!  I'm so happy you're here.  Check out my "About Me" page HERE, some of my favorite posts on marriage HERE, and my two most popular posts HERE and HERE.

Of all the blessings of being a child of God, forgiveness is one of the ones I'm most thankful for (besides salvation!), but it's the one I often find hardest to accept.

The concept is a difficult one for our minds to wrap around sometimes.  Here's how God's forgiveness works:  We sin.  Jesus died to pay the price for that sin.  We confess our sin and our desire to repent, to turn away from it.  God says, okay, your sin is gone.  My Son eliminated it.  It's no longer on your record, I'm not going to remember it, and now you get to try again, and I'll help you.

Sometimes there are consequences, even when we are forgiven, but the guilt is gone.

What Satan often tries to do (and sometimes succeeds) is to make us think that we're still guilty.  Or that we have to do something to earn forgiveness.

We're not.  And we don't.  Forgiveness is a gift.  It's not something we deserve, it's not something we earned because we're good enough, or because we're faithful enough.

We have forgiveness--we NEED it--because we're not good enough.  That's why it's a gift.  It's all about grace: God's undeserved kindness toward us, because of His Son Jesus.

Another amazing thing about forgiveness is that we get to share it.  Because we've been forgiven, we are free to forgive others.

Sin is a part of life.  It's inevitable.  It's inescapable.  But IT HAS BEEN CONQUERED.  Christ's death destroyed forever the power of Satan, sin, and death.  We still fight the battles against our sinful natures, but the war has already been won.  Because of this, we have the ability to pronounce forgiveness to others.  Because we have been shown God's grace, we can show grace to those who sin against us.  And we can tell them the good news of God's forgiveness.

It's funny, I struggle with remembering that I'm forgiven, and with forgiving myself.  But I have no trouble reminding others that THEY are forgiven!  Sometimes I need to preach to myself as much as I need to encourage others.

That's when I turn to God's Word, and the words in 1 John chapter 1:

"If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  But if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  (1 John 1:8-9)

My Sickness...HIS Suffering

So I've been down with a rather nasty case of influenza since Monday.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Today is my second day home from school, and this is the girl who NEVER skips classes.  Today Hubby isn't feeling well either, so at least I don't have to stay home alone all day!

Since it's Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, I've been pondering the connections my physical illness has to my spiritual one.  This sickness is a result of the fact that spiritually I'm sick with sin.  Before I was baptized and given faith by the Holy Spirit, I was literally DEAD in my sin.  Now sin does not have control over me like it once did--I'm not going to die permanently from its presence in my life--but it still rears its ugly head on a regular basis and causes much frustration, pain, and suffering in my life.

Then it hit me: I don't REALLY suffer all that much for the sins I've committed.  Yes, I have to deal with the consequences.  Sometimes they're very serious ones that affect my life and the lives of those around me.  Sometimes they cause feelings of guilt that I have to deal with until I realize, once again, God's amazing forgiveness.

But here's the thing: compared to how Jesus suffered on the cross, my sufferings are pretty minimal.  First of all, having the flu is nothing compared to being beaten nearly to death, being nailed to a cross, and then hanging there for six hours until He finally died.  The worst of it?  Jesus was literally, completely separated from God.  Because He took the sin of the whole world on Him, God couldn't bear to be in his presence, because of God's complete perfection.

Jesus took the physical sufferings  and the separation from God that I deserve--on HIMSELF.


Yes, I am sick with sin.  But MY sin caused HIM to die.

The incredible thing is, the story doesn't end there.  Yes, He suffered.  Yes, He died.  But Jesus is not only Man--He is GOD.  And as God, He didn't stay dead.  After conquering Satan, sin, and death completely, Jesus rose from the dead.  And He is still alive.  And He has promised that I and everyone who believes in Him will not die forever.  We will not have to endure eternal separation from God--or even get a taste of it like Jesus did.

And the physical suffering that we endure now, in this life?  Those won't last forever.  Compared to what a lot of people experience, this sickness I have is so short, so mild, so temporary.  But even the worst illness will be healed completely in time.  And in heaven, there will be no more sickness, no more pain, no more suffering.  The perfect bodies we will have there will last for eternity, because we will be with God.

All because of what Jesus did for us.

http://www.thesefiveofmineplustwo.net/search/label/A%20Handful%20of%20Heart

Always Sinner...and ALWAYS Saint.

I've heard it twice in two days now.
See God in everything.
See Him in me, always.


My Christian doctrine teacher says that we Lutherans focus too much on our sinful natures.  But my husband whispered over to me, "Simul justus et peecator."  Simultaneously saint and sinner.  That's what we are.  But we, at least I, tend to focus so much more on the sinner, and discount the saint.

Today I read Ann's words in One Thousand Gifts, "Why do I reduce The Greatest to the lesser instead of seeing the lesser, this mess, as reflecting The Greatest?  I have to learn how to see, to look through to the Largeness behind all the smallness."

Even in my own sinfulness, I can see Christ.  Moreover, the new person in me--the sanctified, justified saint--is here ALL THE TIME.  Yes, the sinner is here all the time too.  But I am always holy.

My professor explained it this way.  "You don't always think about loving your husband, do you?  Love is often an unconscious decision.  You don't always think about serving God, either.  Are you serving God by being in class right now?"  I replied that yes, I guessed so.  "You are.  You might not realize it; you might not even be doing it intentionally.  But you are here to learn about the faith in order to be able to teach it better in your future ministry.  Your being here, respecting your teacher and your classmates, is following God's will.  You are being led by the Holy Spirit and you are being obedient to God just by being here."

That got me wondering how often I really am obeying God without realizing it!!  Is that not the epitome of grace: that he allows us to obey him without our knowledge, even as we so often sin without consciously deciding to.  Doing dishes is being obedient to God.  Bathing is being obedient to God.  Grocery shopping...doing homework...folding laundry...even sleeping!  All of these things are fulfilling God's will for me in one way or another.

So very often I am hard on myself for sinning so much.  But do I thank God that, by his grace, I am able to obey him so much?  I think we as Christians either give ourselves too much or too little credit.  We do sin much, yes.  But we do good things for God as well.

Most importantly:  we believe in God all the time.  Yes, faith is a gift, so we did not consciously choose to receive it.  But we don't have to consciously work to believe, either.  Believing in God makes us saints: his children, his chosen ones.  Since we believe all the time, we are saints, all the time.  


I have the power of the Holy Spirit living in me.


That never changes.

And just imagine...when we join Christ in heaven one day, we will lose the sinful side of ourselves, and be only saints.  Only holy.  Always obedient to Christ.

Can you just imagine how wonderful that will be?

One of those days...

It's been one of those days.

When the house is a mess.  I mean a complete disaster.

When we go on a wild-goose chase trying to find Culver's, my choice, (and realize half an hour later, on the way home finally, we were going the right direction the first time).

When I lash out at Joshua in anger and frustration.

When, in short, I pretty much feel like a complete failure.

It's days like this when I have to remember that my identity is not based on my failures or achievements.  It's not based on how good a wife or homemaker I am.  It is based on the fact that Jesus Christ died for all my sins, including every one I committed today, and that I am a child of God, loved, forgiven and saved by him.

Yes, I strive to be a good wife and homemaker (and trust me, I will be spending most of tomorrow cleaning!!).  But I don't have to base my self-worth on my performance.  I didn't create myself, after all: God created me, and it is he who gives me worth and value.

It's been one of those days, too:
Visiting my father-in-law and seeing how much better he's doing.

The last day of classes before Thanksgiving break!!

Subway for supper--no cooking necessary!

Extra hours at the library.

Family and friends who love me.

It's SO amazing how much God blesses me, even and including those days when I fail to thank him for what he's given me, and in fact throw it back in his face with my contempt.  I'm not nearly perfect, but God loves and blesses me anyway.  And what's more, he'll give me a new start tomorrow, a new day in which to love, honor and serve him--a new day full of more of his blessings and grace.

Being Honest With Myself

This post was inspired by Jon Acuff's blog post today on his website Stuff Christians Like.  (Plug for Jon: if you've never visited his site, I'd highly recommend that you do, and no he's not paying me to say this, he doesn't even know me.  He's a great writer, very thought-provoking, and often quite funny!)

Jon was talking about how as Christians we sometimes live a "double life."  One side of us is the "good Christian," while the other side has guilty pleasures (Jon talked about music, TV shows, other stuff that I've never heard of which is probably a good thing) like watching movies we know aren't God-honoring, or reading books or listening to music that isn't God-pleasing either.  I would add that that side of us can also have hidden sins that no one knows about, like a secret affair, an addiction to pornography, alcoholism, you name it.  It can also be things that could seem harmless, like a propensity to laziness, worry, or gossip.  None of these things is God-honoring either.  Jon pointed out how we often try to hide the less God-honoring part of ourselves, or even deny that that side exists.

So Jon asked, "What's one way we can be more honest as Christians?"

I think some Christians (read: me) avoid talking about some of the more serious things their sinful nature has gotten them to do because 1) they don't want people to judge or think less of them and 2) they want to set a good example for their other friends and acquaintances. However, neither of these is a good reason. (I'm convicting myself here.) First, what people think matters a lot less than what God thinks, and if we've repented of our sins, God's forgiven us and sees us as perfect and holy. Period. (He KNOWS we've sinned, he just doesn't count it against us anymore.) Second, if we (I) really want to set a good example for others, we (I) can let them know our failings AND that we've repented of them AND that we're forgiven AND that we're striving to live as God would have us to BECAUSE God loves us so much. Look at all that opportunity to share the Gospel!!

I think Christians should try less to keep their secret sins (or vices, or TV shows that they probably shouldn't watch, etc, etc, etc) a secret, and instead see their own experiences as an opportunity to testify to God's grace.

Being honest can also mean, if you have a serious problem or addiction, taking steps to get help to conquer your addiction.  I have my own share of sinful habits that are hard to shake, and I can tell you from experience that our sinful nature doesn't want to let us get rid of those habits.  Satan loves to see us stumble and fall, and he does everything he can to try to compromise our faith in God.

But God loves us even more than Satan hates us.  And God is far more powerful than Satan.  God wants to help us live lives that glorify him just as much as Satan wants us to disobey God.  And what God wants us to do, he gives us the strength to carry out.  Sometimes getting rid of a sinful habit is really hard.  I still struggle with worry and distrust and contentment, all the time.  I know I'm forgiven when I fail, but that doesn't mean I want to keep sinning.  By God's grace I'm able to (sometimes) say "No" when I'm tempted to sin.  And his grace is so huge that it is more than enough to forgive me when I fail.

I think it's important for Christians to be honest: with themselves and with one another.  It's also important to remember that God already knows the best and worst of us.  What's more, whether we're honest with ourselves or not, he loves us for who we are: sinners who are covered in and saved by grace.

A Work in Progress

This, I'm ashamed to say, is what my kitchen looked like yesterday morning.

The remains of breakfast (and other dishes) on the table...

A sink filled to overflowing...

Dirty dishes and pans all over the counter and stove.

Facing that was a bit daunting.  It was a big mess in my little kitchen.  But I got started and soon it didn't seem so bad.  Doing dishes isn't really fun, of course, unless you're one of those rare people who thinks so.  The end results are great: a clean kitchen and clean dishes.  But sometimes to get there it takes work, elbow grease...

and smelly Bar Keeper's Friend.  I don't know what I'd do without it, but the smell is nasty.

But getting a pot sparkling clean isn't always pleasant.  Getting rid of yuck usually isn't fun.

I realize I'm being a bit cryptic here.  What does a messy kitchen have to do with anything (other than reminding you that I can sometimes be lazy and messy)?

Well, as I was working, I realized how much I'm like that dirty kitchen sometimes.  I let yucky stuff pile up in my life till it's absolutely overwhelming.  It's such a daunting task I just let it be, ignore it, hope it'll go away on its own--but it doesn't.

That's when I realize how much I need God.  I can't clean up my life on my own.  I can't obey him of my own will.  My own will is selfish and sinful and doesn't want to do what's right.  That results in a messy kitchen and a messed-up life.

God has to come into my life and say, "All right, you have a big mess here, but it's nothing I can't handle.  No mess is too big for My hands.  It's not going to be fun.  It might hurt.  It might be nasty.  It might take a while. And you might not enjoy the process.  But trust Me--it'll be worth it."

God does it right.  He doesn't just do a quick wipe-down of my life, making it look clean, and call it done.  He knows the real problem isn't outward appearances, but what's on the inside.  Outwardly, this bowl looks clean.

On the inside, it's a sticky, smelly, grody mess.  It needs serious work.

In the book of 1 Samuel, God gave the prophet Samuel the job of finding the man God had chosen to be king of Israel.  Samuel went to the house of Jesse and looked at all of Jesse's sons.  Samuel thought they all looked big, strong, and ready to be king.  But God wanted David, the youngest and smallest son.  God told Samuel, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7).

God, in his mercy, doesn't just clean me up on the outside.  He tackles the problem of my sin at its very root: my heart.  In Psalm 51, David cried out to God after David had committed the sin of adultery with Bathsheba.  David prayed, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me" (Psalm 51:10-12).

When we realize our sin and cry out to God in repentance, this is exactly what he does.  He makes us right with him and gives us a fresh start.

Unfortunately, as humans we continue to sin, every day.  My kitchen didn't stay clean for long.  In just a few hours, I did more cooking and it got messy again.  But God is patient.  He doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves.  He knows we can't clean up our lives on our own.  A dirty dish has no power of its own, it can't want to be clean, let alone clean itself.  By the power of the Holy Spirit in us, we have a desire to obey God, to love him, and to serve him.  He gives us the strength to obey him, and he forgives us when we fail.  Paul wrote to the Ephesians,

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:8-10).

I am a constant work in progress.  God my Creator knows that.  He's willing to keep working on me.

(Oh, and by the way, my kitchen did get clean!)

Linking up, one year later, 7/27/2012

Noel's Beautiful Life

Christ has Triumphed!!

In two days it will be Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the season of Lent.  I've been reading the book of Colossians the last few days, and a passage in chapter two struck me today.  It's also appropriate for almost-Lent:

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ.  He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross.  And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." (2:13-16)

For Israelites, being circumcised was the sign of their relationship and covenant with God.  It meant they were chosen by him and one of his own.  For Christians today, Baptism is a parallel sign of the same thing.  The passage is talking about how when we were dead--in our sins, and therefore not in a relationship with God--he gave us life, in Christ.  We were in debt to God because of our sins, that's what the "written code" is talking about.  All those regulations are the laws of God.  They're not bad, because they are necessary, but their purpose is to show us our sin and what we do wrong.  What Jesus did with his death was take that Law and fulfill it completely, because we as imperfect humans can't.  He took away the condemning Law from us, taking away our task of fulfilling it, and completed it himself.

What I love is the mental picture this passage gives, of Jesus nailing the Law to the cross, saying, "I'm going to take care of this so no one else has to."  Those "powers and authorities" are Satan and his evil angels.  Jesus took away all the power they have over us, and (in modern terms) he owned them.  That is to say, he humiliated them, took away their power, and conquered them entirely.  He has TRIUMPHED over sin!  And death!  And Satan himself!  One of my favorite Easter hymns begins, "Jesus lives, the victory is won!"

What that means is that sin, death, and Satan no longer have any power over those who belong to Jesus, including ME!  I sometimes forget that.  Sometimes I wallow in my guilt and shame.

But Jesus took it all away.  Yes, I sin daily.  But you know what?  I am already forgiven!!!!  Jesus has ALREADY paid the entire price for my sin!!  It no longer counts against me.  The second I say, "Jesus, I'm sorry, please forgive my sin," he replies, "My child, it's already been forgiven."

I am a saved, loved, and forgiven child of GOD!!!  May I dwell in the knowledge of that every day of my life.  Even as we begin Lent, a time of pondering what Christ suffered for our sakes, we need not wallow in our sin, guilt, and despair.  That makes the Good News of what Jesus did all about us, turning it into Law.  It's not about us.  It's about Him.  What he's done.  And what he's done is forgive us, destroy our sins and our debt, and give us new life and salvation.