How to Make a Marriage Last

Throughout Scripture, I see evidence that God really likes marriage. He came up with the idea in the first place when he created Adam and Eve for each other. Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding. And God used marriage to describe the relationship between Jesus and the body of believers.

God designed marriage to be something that takes people and makes them "one flesh." This is a bond that was never designed to be broken. God actually said in Malachi 2:16, "I hate divorce." God designed marriage to be for life!

How do we make a marriage last that long, though? The current mindset of our society suggests that people aren't even interested in a lifelong marriage. More than half of all couples who marry eventually get divorced (source). Obviously we're doing something wrong if the average marriage has such a short lifespan.

Now, I understand that there are some good reasons to get divorced. Actually, I think there are two: abuse and infidelity. When one spouse hurts the other and/or refuses to remain faithful, it's reasonable for the other spouse to divorce them. (Even in such cases, there can be reconciliation and healing, although that's not always possible.)

But I'm not talking about why a marriage could end. How do we keep that from happening? What can we do to make a marriage last?

I think that in order to keep their marriage strong and healthy for a whole lifetime, couples should avoid making two fatal assumptions: One, that love is a feeling, and two, that marriage is something a husband and wife can do on their own.

Never fall into the trap of thinking that love is a feeling. Attraction is a feeling. Lust is a feeling. Affection is a feeling. Love--real, enduring love--is a choice. It is a decision, and it is a commitment.

Sometimes, on those rare occasions when we're really upset with each other, my husband or I will say to the other, "I love you, but I do not like you very much right now." Love lasts through petty arguments, through financial problems, car breakdowns, difficult pregnancies, whining toddlers, and raising teenagers.

Why?
Because love is NOT something we find within ourselves. Love is a gift from God, and it finds its sole source in him. God loves us SO much that his love flows through us to those around us. John wrote in his first epistle, "We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19) We are only able to love each other because God loves us!

Furthermore, we are able to continue loving others because God gives us the ability to do so. Not only did he set an example for us of what love is, he gives us the strength to love because that is something that pleases him (Philippians 4:13).

We do not look to ourselves or our spouse for the strength to keep loving them, including during those times when they don't deserve it or aren't acting loving toward us. We look to God, who knows our needs, hears our prayers, and continues to fill us with his love.

This brings me to the second trap: never think that your marriage is something you and your spouse can do well on your own. A marriage should always be a team of three: you, your spouse, and God. Remember, God created marriage and designed it to last, and he wants your marriage to last a lifetime!

He is willing and able to give you and your spouse the tools you need to build a solid, lasting marriage. Those tools, gifts from him, are numerous (patience, wisdom, kindness, a sense of humor, etc.), but besides love, I think the most important is forgiveness.

As God gives us the ability to love, he also enables us to forgive. True forgiveness is only possible when we realize that we have been forgiven. My husband and I are both sinners for whom Jesus died. He has forgiven our sins, and paid the price for the sins of the whole world. Now that we have been forgiven, we can forgive one another. No sin we commit against each other is bigger than the ones Jesus has already forgiven us for!

So how do you make a marriage last? Look to Jesus. Find in him a love that is so incredible it will flow from him, to you, and to your spouse. Realize that he has forgiven you of every wrong thing you ever did or will do, and realize that he gives you the ability to forgive as you have been forgiven. Make him the center of your marriage--let everything in your life find its focus in Christ. It's with his love, forgiveness, strength, and grace that you can build a marriage that will last a lifetime.


Linking with Messy Marriage, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Guilty, but Declared Innocent

This post is third in a mini-series based on my jury duty experience.
See part one here
and part two here.

The main job of a juror is to look at the facts as seen in the evidence, and decide if the defendant is guilty or innocent, based on what the facts say.

In the case for which I was a juror, the facts didn't make that job easy. It was hard to trust the validity of the witnesses' testimonies, or the accuracy of computer data. We had no way of knowing whether something was dependable or not. Therefore, we had to decide that there was not enough proof to declare the defendant guilty of the main crime of which he had been accused. So, of that crime, we decided he was innocent.

As a sinful human being who answers to a far greater Judge than the one sitting in the courtroom I was in, I am not so lucky. There is very solid evidence against me. There's no jury debating my guilt or innocence.
I am, beyond all possible doubt, guilty of sin. I have broken God's laws, and God, who sees and knows everything, has no doubt of that.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23

Satan has accused me. My own sinful nature has convicted me.

But I will not receive the punishment due a guilty verdict.

"...and are justified freely by His grace." Romans 3:24

You see, when the Law pronounced guilty every person who's ever lived, God's Son stepped in to take the punishment we all deserve.
As a lawbreaker, I deserve death. Eternal separation from God.

"For the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23a

I'm not getting what I deserve.

"...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23b

Jesus Christ took my guilt upon himself. He had never sinned, and he was perfect--holy, pure and righteousness. He told his Father, "Look at them and see my sinlessness. Look at me and see their sin." And God said, "Yes. For your sake, I forgive them wholly."

"God made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21

He took the punishment that was rightfully mine--all of ours. He died. He experienced total separation from God, besides a physically excruciating death. He was mocked, humiliated, and tortured--so that I would not be.

But Jesus didn't stay dead. He paid the price, all right. But he is God, and God cannot die.

He faced my accuser--Satan. He announced that he had paid the price for my sin. And he declared to Satan that I can no longer be accused of guilt. Past, present, and future sins were all covered by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Nothing I do will earn me eternal condemnation. God looks at me as one holy and perfect, covered by the righteousness of his Son.

Now, I'll still have to face consequences for the poor choices I make. But I will never have to endure the punishment that those wrongs deserve.

There's no question: I committed the crime. But there's also no question that the guilt is no longer mine. The holy Son of the righteous Judge has taken my punishment. I am free and redeemed because of his love and grace.

Smiles, Hugs and Prayers: Faith in the Courtroom

This post is second of a three-part miniseries based on my jury duty experience.
See part one here
and part three here. 

As you may know, I spent the last two weeks doing jury duty. It was an amazing learning experience for quite a few reasons.
Yesterday I wrote about the lessons from getting an in-depth look at our justice system. Not surprisingly, God took this opportunity to teach me a few other lessons, too.

The day I found out I was a juror--and what the case was about--I was honestly kind of scared. "Why me? Why did I get chosen? I don't think I can do this!" I discovered, of course, that I could. My husband had some encouragement for me, and so did my mom, when I called to tell her that I was on the jury (although without any other details at that point).

Obviously, my mom said, I was chosen for a reason. God had a purpose for me to be on that jury. There had been 71 potential jurors at the start. 30 were randomly chosen by taking names out of a jar. Then 14 were picked from those 30. Just before we started deliberation, two alternates were dismissed. I ended up on that jury of twelve people.

I was definitely there for a reason. I just didn't know exactly what the reason was. I still don't know for sure. But I started praying right away, "Lord, let me show someone your love through this experience."

One of the defendant's daughters was there with him, to testify and to support her father. Her name is Maria.

I thought, I can at the very least try to bring a little happiness into this woman's life, considering how incredibly difficult her life has been for the last three years. So every now and then, from the juror's box, I'd catch her eye and give her a smile, and she always smiled back. Not a huge gesture, I know, but I wanted to do something.

Yesterday, after everything was over and I was headed out of the courthouse and home, I ran into Maria just outside the courthouse. She threw her arms around me and kept repeating "Thank you, thank you." She said that when she saw me the first day of the trial she liked me right away. (She happens to have a sister just about my age.) I told her that I'd been praying through the whole trial, and that I knew it had turned out the way it had because God had wanted it to turn out that way. She said she and her family had been praying as well, and I said that I would continue to keep her and her family in my prayers. "God bless you," she said, hugging me again, both of us teary.

I don't know what will become of Maria, her father, and their family. I don't know if anything will come of our brief conversation. I do know that it wasn't coincidence that she happened to be outside the door I always left through. I know that it wasn't coincidence that I ended up on this jury. I also know that that one conversation made the whole two weeks' trial (pun intended) absolutely worth it. If sharing the love of Jesus with that one woman, through smiles, hugs, and prayers, was the reason God had me on that jury, then it was worth every minute.

I got to shake her father's hand, not fifteen minutes after the verdict was read and he put his head down on the desk and burst into tears, then looked up at the jury with a red, tear-streaked face that expressed joy and relief that no language barrier can confuse, and told us "thank you."

I'll probably never see Igor Kozlov again, but being a jury for his trial has changed my life. I can't judge anyone one way or another based on their nationality, their appearance, their job, the language they speak. Only God can judge a person because only he sees the hearts of humans. But what I can do is love everyone with the love of Christ, no matter who they are.

A few hours before I was chosen for this jury, I wrote this post. Little did I know how prophetic my own words would be! God doesn't ask us to travel far away to share his love. In this case, all I did was walk across the street and into a courtroom, and I was privileged to share the love of Jesus with people I never would have met otherwise.

Keep your eyes open today. You'll definitely cross paths with someone who needs a little Christ-love in their lives. Maybe all you can give them is a smile, but maybe that's all it will take to make a difference in their life.



(Just in case you were wondering, sympathy wasn't an aspect of my decision-making regarding this trial. I avoided looking at Kozlov as much as I could during the trial. We looked at the straight facts, and there weren't enough solid facts to convict him. But I will say, I'm glad that we made the decision we did. This man is still going to have a tough life, and I'm happy that we made a decision that will make his life a little less hard than it could have been.)


Linking today with Upward Not Inward/Exceptionalistic/The Fontenot Four, Deep Roots at Home, Raising Homemakers, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

To have a gentle and quiet spirit

Do you ever have those realizations that there's something you've been missing?  Not doing?  Not understanding?  I had one of those "aha" moments yesterday.  And it was humbling.

I want this kind of spirit as a wife: a gentle and quiet one.  This is the kind of spirit that Peter says creates true, unfading beauty:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.  For this is the way the women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."  (1 Peter 3: 3-6)

There's a lot in this passage.  I want to point out a few things that have stuck out to me in many readings of these words.

First, look at this phrase from verse 5: "the women of the past who put their hope in God..."  A gentle and quiet spirit comes when our hope is not in ourselves or our own abilities, but in God and his Spirit at work within us.

And this: "Sarah...obeyed Abraham and called him her master."  This passage isn't talking about being our husband's slave, but it is descriptive of a wife who highly respects her husband.  This respect isn't shown just in our actions, but in our words and thoughts.  Do we show our husbands by how we speak to them that we respect them?  Do we make the effort to let them know that they are priceless treasures to us?  Do we pay attention when they talk?  Do we make it clear that we're interested in all parts of their lives?

These are things I've been struggling with.  This, and distrust (my constant battle).  Thus, look at the last part of this passage:

"...do not give way to fear."

Fear, my mother often reminds me, is of the Enemy.  Fear is what comes naturally to our sinful selves.  The opposite of fear is faith, which is a gift from God.  Faith in God and his promises...hope in him...this is what enables us to be wives after God's own heart.  Wives who love, respect and trust their husbands.  Wives who are beautiful not because of their outer looks but because of the quiet and gentle spirit within them, that comes from God.

This is the kind of wife I want to be: 

"A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."  (Proverbs 31:10-12)

I want to be the kind of wife in whom my husband can have complete confidence, and who he can trust fully.  I want him to be able to trust me to bring him good, not harm, every single day.

But you know what?  I cannot be that kind of wife on my own willpower.  I don't have the ability to do it alone.

That's why I take comfort in the fact that God's strength more than makes up for my weakness.  In fact, as God promised Paul, so he promises me, and I can say this with Paul:

"But he [God] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

If you've been struggling with this at all, take comfort: you are not alone.  And for whatever trials you are experiencing, know that God's grace is more than enough.  His love covers you completely.  His forgiveness is unfailing and never-ending, and encompasses even those things for which we feel most guilty.  Jesus has taken away that guilt, paid the price for our sins, and enables us to live as his children.

I'm taking comfort in this: today and every day!


Linking with: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum; Exceptionalistic, Messy Marriage

Advice is Overrated--Encouragement Isn't

I am honored and blessed to have Tim Fall writing for me today!  Tim's blog is Just One Train Wreck After Another, where he writes about faith, family, books, and life as a Christian judge in California.  Tim is known for his encouraging blog comments, and I hope you are as blessed by this post as I have been.


[My son K is 22 and recently graduated from UC Berkeley. My daughter J is 20 and a third year student at UC San Diego. A lot of parents write advice letters to their young adult children, laying out what they want their children to learn. I'm not one of those parents. Instead, I'm writing them a letter pointing out what they've already learned.]

How old were each of you when you first left the country on a missions trip? 9, 10? Something like that. We all traveled together to Mexico to serve in one of the poorest places I've ever seen. K, we took you with us for the first couple trips, and J you joined us for several trips after that.

And then you went overseas on your own mission trips. You still do.

K, you even went on one all by yourself without a missions team. Seriously, Vietnam on your own? I know you'd been there twice before with a team, but to hop a plane and get to work with the organization over there without any team training or support was impressive. And now you are preparing to return as head of a team you are putting together to minister to the people you've met there over the years.

J, those trips to western and eastern Europe and into Israel started while you were in high school. Then South Africa came along, but you weren't going as a member of the team. You led the team. And this summer you are going to do it again.

So I said this was about what you have learned. Here goes:

You've learned how to take initiative: Mom and I never asked you to go on these trips, never even brought up going on overseas missions. You thought of it, you explored it and you figured out how to get it done. It may not have always happened the way you expected, but it happened. And you learned that God has some great plans for you, even better than your own.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21.)

You've learned to adapt: J, when your co-leader in charge of logistics had to back out 2 days before leaving last year, you and the other program leader stepped up and took on the duty, all while handling all your own responsibilities. K, you knew you had several weeks in a foreign land without anyone your age that you knew so you went to the coffee-house and made some friends, good friends that you loved to hang out and play music with even if you didn't speak each others' languages all that well.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10.)

You've learned to trust God: K, when you were 17 and started team training for that first trip to Vietnam, you didn't know anyone else, student or adult. But you trusted that God had put you there and that he would see you through. J, when you were getting ready to fly off to training for your last trip to Europe and got so sick you could barely stand, you trusted that God would work it out so you could still go, even if it meant joining the team late. God saw both of you through those times and so many more.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6.)

You've learned the God's word is not only powerful, but a joy: K and J, each of you have learned over the years how to study God's word. I wish I could take credit for that, but it's really your own relationships with God that have drawn you deeper into his word. I get to have the fun of talking about Scripture and doctrine and theology with you, and often you are the ones who bring up points I've never thought through. This is a joy for us in talking about it, and I can tell that you get a kick out of reading his word and studying what theologians and other writers have to say about it for yourself too.

When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty. (Jeremiah 15:16.)

There's more of course, but I hope you've learned one more thing in particular. Mom and I are not only proud of you, but we are so pleased for you in your relationships with God and the people he has put in your lives. I told you when you were young and I'll tell you now:

K - you are my wonderful boy.

J - you are my wonderful girl.

And your wonderfulness has nothing to do with whether you've learned anything at all. Your wonderfulness has everything to do with the fact that you are blessings from God.

[For those reading this who aren't K & J, please know that your heavenly Father is even more pleased with you than I am with my kids. He loves you eternally and without limit, and I hope that encourages your socks off.]

Tim is a California native who changed his major three times, colleges four times, and took six years to get a Bachelor’s degree in a subject he’s never been called on to use professionally. Married for over 25 years with two kids (one in college and one just graduated, woo-hoo!), his family is constant evidence of God’s abundant blessings in his life. He and his wife live in Northern California. Tim blogs here.

Redeemed

Redeemed: bought back, exchanged, purchased, reclaimed, ransomed.

I have been redeemed.  I would be a slave to sin and Satan if Jesus had not paid the price for me.

Had he not given his life for mine, I would have had to pay for my sin with my own eternal soul.  I would have spent eternity in hell.  But Jesus paid the life-debt for me and all other people.  He took the guilt of our sin on himself and gave up his life as a ransom for us all.

Thus, I am free.  Saved.  Redeemed.  And so are you.

I am no longer bound to sin; now, because Christ is my Redeemer, I am bound to him.  I am one with him through my baptism, and my life belongs to Christ--to God-- because he made me.  In response to what he has done for me, I strive to love and serve him by loving and serving others.  I can't do this perfectly--I fail all the time--but he already took care of the guilt of my sins, including the failure to love and obey him fully, and even the sins I haven't committed yet.

I don't have to live in fear of punishment.  Jesus already took the punishment that I deserve.  He destroyed the power of Satan, death and hell.  They no longer hold power over me, or over you.  Satan still has power in this world, but the battle is over--he has already lost, and he knows it.  Those who believe in Jesus will spend eternity with him in heaven, no matter what Satan tries to do to them in this world.  Why?  Because we belong to Jesus, and he is more powerful even than Satan.

We can therefore live this life in joy.  We are free from the weight of our own sin, and from the weight of the sin of the world.  Jesus bore it for us.  Despite the evil that is still rampant all around us, our life doesn't have to be one of sadness or despair.  Not for us.  Not for those who are children of God.  We have the promise of eternal life, and we know that nothing can separate us from God's love--because he has redeemed and saved us.

I know that my Redeemer lives!
What comfort this sweet sentence gives.
He lives, he lives, who once was dead--
He lives, my ever-living Head.

He lives triumphant from the grave,
He lives eternally to save.
He lives all glorious in the sky,
He lives exalted there on high.

He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives, and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare--
He lives to bring me safely there.

(I Know that My Redeemer Lives, vv 1, 3, 7; text by Samuel Medley.)

God is Number One

Mondays are Marriage Mondays at Living in the Light.  If you're a new visitor (especially if you're visiting from the Challenge)--welcome!!  I'm so happy you're here.  Check out my "About Me" page HERE, some of my favorite posts on marriage HERE, and my two most popular posts HERE and HERE.

If I was ever asked to give just one tip for making marriage great, it would be this:

Make God #1.

In your marriage, in your life, in your thoughts and actions.

When God gave the Ten Commandments, he began like this:

And God spoke all these words, saying,

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

“You shall have no other gods before me." Genesis 20:1-3

Having "no other gods" doesn't simply mean not worshiping false idols or the gods of other religions.  It means not putting anything in one's life before God--and that includes one's spouse!

In the book of Matthew, a lawyer questioned Jesus and asked

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he [Jesus] said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40

What are we to do above everything?  Love God with all our "heart, soul, and mind."  In other words, with everything we have in us.  And second, we are to love those around us as we love our spouses.

I don't want this to be all about what we do.  Because ultimately, life isn't about us.  Marriage isn't about us.  It's about God.  Life is a gift from him.  Marriage is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest gifts God's given us in this life.  In marriage, God has given us a picture of the kind of sacrificial, selfless love he has for us.  Of course, marriage doesn't always perfectly reflect that love--in fact, no marriage is ever perfect.  That's because all marriages are between two sinful human beings.  But God shows us grace, and blesses us despite our failures and shortcomings.  He continues to pour out his love abundantly on us and our spouse, even when we don't deserve it.  And God's love for us enables us to love one another.

The best thing any person can do for their marriage is to focus on God.  Our spouse will fail us, and we will fail them.  But God is always faithful, and we can trust that when we do fail, he will forgive us and renew us and our marriage.

What do you think?  Is this a helpful suggestion for marriage?  What's the one best tip for marriage you would give? 

Linking with: The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, A Proverbs 31 Wife

A Demonstration of Selfless Love: Reflections on Monday of Holy Week

This weekend, my husband demonstrated the beauty of what real love in marriage is all about.

I was sick all day Friday, and then pushed myself too much Saturday morning and was tired the rest of the day, and much of yesterday as well.  I slept a lot.  I didn't cook at all on Friday, and not till supper on Saturday.  Supper yesterday was the first real meal we've eaten together, that I cooked, all weekend.

But has my husband complained?  Not one bit.  He's even helped with the dishes.  He encouraged me to rest.  He just quietly did his own thing while I was sleeping and recovering.  He was sweet and helpful on Friday when I was feeling the crummiest.  He stayed home from class to take care of me.  He even brought me 7-Up because we didn't have any in the house.  He's made me tea, brought me blankets, adjusted the heat when my feverish self went from cold to hot and back again, and kept me company.  We spent a lot of time playing LEGO Lord of the Rings on the PS-3 this weekend (perfect activity to do when one is sick; using the video game controller takes virtually no energy!).

He hasn't even complained about the fact that I've done no housework all weekend, that I was the most boring wife imaginable (I don't even know how many hours I slept the last three days!), or that he had to fend for himself in the kitchen (although he's perfectly capable of feeding himself :) ).

Can I just say, my husband is awesome.  He's loved me like crazy this whole weekend without expecting or asking anything in return.

He's demonstrating to me Christ-like love: selfless love, love that gives without expecting to get.  Yet another reason why I love my husband so much.  He models Jesus to me.

And, what a lovely coincidence, this happens to be the week that we remember the days that Jesus demonstrated his love for us in the most radical, selfless, incredible way possible.

He gave his life for us.  And in the days leading up to his death on the cross, Jesus spent his time teaching his disciples, preparing them for what would happen in the days ahead, giving them spiritual encouragement and strength, and loving them.  "As I have loved you," he said, "love one another." (John 13:34-35)

It's actually not possible for us to perfectly love one another in the way Christ loved us.  We're human, after all, and it's only by the power of God that we're able to love at all.  But by his grace, we can demonstrate that kind of selfless love for each other, motivated by what Christ has done for us.  His love for us is so great that he willingly died for all people--even though they didn't all love him.  "God shows his love for us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  (Romans 5:8)

That's the kind of perfect love I will never be able to achieve, but it is the love that, by God's grace, I am so thankful to receive.

How have you seen the love of Christ active in your life this weekend?

Linking with:  A Proverbs 31 Wife, Grits and Grace, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, Countrified Hicks, Yes They're All Ours

How I was saved, and how you were, too!

This post was inspired by this salvation story on natashametzler.com.  Reading Natasha's post and responding to it got me thinking about my own salvation story!

The story of my salvation doesn't start with me.  It starts with God.  God, who created heaven and earth and everything in them.  God, who from the beginning of the world had a plan to conquer sin and death (Genesis 3:15).  God, who sent His Son to earth to become a human baby, who would grow into a sinless human man, who would die for the sins of the whole world (John 3:16).

Image Credit:  bela_kiefer via www.freedigitalphotos.net

My salvation starts with the incredible love of God.  It's because God loves us--all people--so much that He has a plan for all of us to spend eternity with Him.

He gives us faith.  We become His children.  We believe in His Son, Jesus Christ, and the fact that Jesus' death paid the price for all the wrong we ever do.  We live a brief life on earth, obeying God and loving Him according to His Word and in response for the gifts He constantly gives us (in addition to the gift of faith in Him!  Wow!).  Then, when our sinful, earthly bodies die, our sinless souls are united with God in heaven, and spend eternity joyfully with Him in paradise.

This is what God did for me.  He made me his child just four weeks after I was born into this world.  In my baptism, the Holy Spirit came into my heart by the power of God's Word, and gave me faith.  It wasn't necessary for me to understand what that meant, because my saving isn't about me.  It's not anything I do.  God saves us, God makes us His children.  It's kind of like how we become our parents' children.  We don't have any choice to become their children.  And they don't love us because of anything we do.  They love us simply because they are our parents.  God loves us because He is our Father.

So I became God's child through the miracle of baptism.  As I grew, my parents taught me, using God's Word, how much God loves me, and what Jesus did for me.  And I knew for sure that I was God's child.  I knew that whenever I died, I would be in heaven with Jesus.  I knew that I was sinful, and did bad things, but I also knew that God forgave those sins when I asked Him to, just as my parents told me they forgave me when I disobeyed them.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm still constantly learning what it means to be God's child.  How does that play out in my everyday life?  God reminds me daily to trust Him in everything.  He has to keep teaching me how to accept His forgiveness, because I struggle with remembering that.  Satan is constantly working to try to pull me away from God, but I know that because the Holy Spirit lives in my heart, Satan can't hurt me.  Jesus has already defeated him and his power, and I have nothing to fear.

So my salvation story doesn't end with me, either.  It ends with the ultimate gift from God--eternal life in heaven.  It will end when my sinful body dies, and my eternal, holy, sinless soul is taken to heaven by Jesus, where I will live with Him forever.  There no one will be sad or in pain.  There will be no death, no grief, no discomfort.  There will be joy, peace, love, and light, and it will be more wonderful than we can ever imagine, until we actually get there.

God wants everyone to be in heaven with Him.  He has created you just like He did me, and He loves you, too, more than you will ever understand.  I hope you know my Jesus, too, and know that He is your Lord and Savior--and how much He loves you.  You can spend eternity in heaven, too, because Jesus paid the price for your sins as well as mine.  Try saying this to God, your Father--you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain:

"Dear God, I know you love me.  I know you sent your Son, Jesus, to pay the price for my sins.  I acknowledge Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  Thank you for giving me faith in you and in what Jesus has done for me.  Now, as your child, I give my whole life to you."

Linking up today: A Holy Experience, Upward Not Inward, Deep Roots at Home, Raising Homemakers, We are THAT Family

Thankfulness in all things

It's been a few weeks since I wrote a "Thankful Thursday" post.  These last several days have kept me quite busy--but you know, I'm thankful for the busyness too, because it's a result of having fantastic college classes, a home to care for, friends with whom to spend time, responsibilities to fulfill.

I'm thankful for the opportunity I had last week to be on the hair and makeup crew for our school's production of "Arsenic and Old Lace."  The cast and crew were such a fun group of people to work with, and despite being gone every evening for a week, I'm so glad I was a part of it!

I am SO thankful for the amazing professors we have here.  They're always open to talking about anything, class-related or not.  They're fantastic teachers.  They encourage me in my faith.  They help me stretch myself, learn and grow.

I am thankful for the creative ways we've been making food stretch the last couple days--payday is tomorrow!  This girl is excited for grocery shopping! :D

I'm constantly thankful for my sweet husband, who makes me laugh, who helps me around the house without being asked, who encourages me and helps me think straight.  I'm thankful for the time we've spent together just talking and having fun.

I am so thankful for our dear friends who are coming to visit us next week!  We're so excited to spend time with them--it's been since last summer since both of us couples were together.  They are such a blessing.

I'm thankful for the sunshine, and the slightly warmer temperatures this week, and the green things starting to come up from the ground.  Spring is coming soon!

I am eternally grateful for the love of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, who did everything necessary for my salvation from sin.  It is because of him and his great love for me that I am able to live joyfully and freely, not bogged down by sin, because from it Christ has set me free.


What gifts has God given you this week?  How has he blessed you?  Please share in the comments!

Linking with: The Fontenot Four, black tag diaries, There's Just One Mommy

Forgiven: Knowing it, believing it, living it.

I'd like to do a little soul-baring with you, my dear readers.  Perhaps one of you has had an experience like mine, so I hope that sharing my own story will bless you, as well.

Image courtesy of David Castillo, www.freedigitalphotos.net

For much of my life I've had what you might call a legalistic mindset.  I've always understood about grace, don't get me wrong.  I know Jesus died for my sins, I know that because of him I'll have eternal life, I know that God has forgiven every sin I've ever committed or will ever commit.  I know I don't have to DO anything at all for my salvation--Jesus has done it all.

But I struggle with applying what I know in my head, to what I truly believe in my heart.  I've never struggled with faith in Christ, but I've struggled with letting go of my sin.  With accepting the fact that God's forgiveness erases that sin from my life.

It's not like I've done anything "majorly wrong."  I've never done drugs, smoked or gotten drunk.  I was a virgin when I got married.  I've avoided swearing and bad language.  I've never broken a federal law.  My parents raised me to be a good, honest, obedient and law-abiding person.

But I'm just as sinful as anyone else, and I also happen to have a bit of a "guilt complex."  Or, as my husband says, an overly active conscience.  I struggle with letting go of my own sins.

I struggle with forgiving myself, and accepting that through Christ, God has forgiven me.

Does this sound like you?  Have you ever had a struggle like this?

Whether you have or not, perhaps what I've learned will be helpful for you.

Since I started dating Joshua, he has been a powerful voice of forgiveness in my life.  He easily and quickly forgives me when I sin against him and ask his forgiveness.  He's reminded me time and again of God's forgiveness.  And I'll remember that, and know it, for a while.  But then that little voice inside me pulls up a wordless doubt, one that darkens the cheerfulness I usually feel, and makes me feel sorry for myself.  "I'm just not good enough.  I'll always have to struggle with this.  The consequences will always be part of my life.  I don't deserve forgiveness."

I read a blog post today where the author talked about forgetting.  She asked God to remove memories of past sins, so that she wouldn't dwell on them anymore.  This, I realized, is what I needed to do-forget about those sins.  Dwelling on my sins, hanging on to that guilt, and refusing to forgive myself, is actually sin in itself.  It's letting the law take over my life, instead of filling my life with the Gospel.  Then I read another blog post with a similar message, and tonight Joshua and I watched the movie October Baby.  It's about a teenage girl who discovers that she's adopted...and that her birth mother had attempted to have her aborted, but the abortion failed.  The girl also had a twin brother, and although they were both born alive, her brother died.  She struggled to forgive herself for living when her brother died, to forgive her birth mother for trying to kill her, and to forgive her adoptive parents because they had kept the truth from her for a long time.
In the movie there is a powerful message of forgiveness--that because God has forgiven us, we have the ability and the power to choose to forgive others.  Including ourselves.

As the movie was ending I dissolved in tears...because for the first time in a long time, I felt truly at peace with myself.  I realized that I was damaging myself by refusing forgiveness.  And so I let go.  I let go of the guilt I've been clinging to.  What a self-centered thing I had been doing.  It's not like it consumed my life...but it would come up at times, and I wouldn't just let it go.  But I believe God spoke to my heart today.  And so I've let go of the past, those sins that no one else would blame me for but for which I've been blaming myself.  The sins that Satan's been using to hurt my heart.

I read a Scripture verse on a blog today, and it applied so well to my blog, but also to God's gentle message to me today.  It's at the top of this page.  Scroll up and read it.

It's especially the last sentence of that verse that really means a lot to me right now.

I also love these other words of God about forgiveness:

"I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts.  I will be their God, and they will be my people.  No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least of the greatest," declares the Lord.  "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." Jeremiah 31:33b-34

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."  Psalm 103:8-14

God doesn't remember my sins.  Jesus' sacrifice on the cross took care of that.  God has removed my sins from me; they are no longer part of my life.  He is gracious, not "fair"--I don't get what I deserve.  I deserve eternal punishment.

What God's given me is eternal life.  And grace, forgiveness, and everlasting love.

There is no reason for me to hang onto my guilt.  There is no reason to deny myself forgiveness, not when God has forgiven me long ago.  I am a saved, baptized, forgiven child of God.

And just as Jesus died to save me from MY sins, so he died to save you from yours.  Remember that verse at the top of the page?  That's for you, too.  When we repent of our sins--turn away from them--God is quick to forgive, and remind us of how much he loves us.

And he loves us so very much.

I hope you know that.  If you don't, please talk to me, or talk to a pastor or another Christian you know, who is walking with Jesus.  If you don't believe in Jesus in your personal Lord and Savior, he wants you to, so much!  He wants you to know that you are his child.

It's amazing how much Jesus loves us.  I've been reminded of that today, yet again, and I hope you know that in your heart, too.

Linking with: Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers, Time-Warp Wife, Exceptionalistic 

Saved by Grace. This is what matters.

My friends, it's a blessed but weary morning.  Most days I'm ready to jump out of bed and start my Bible reading, make breakfast, write a post if I haven't already.

Today I'd love to go back to bed, but this house needs my attention, and so do you.  And you and I both need a reminder of the big picture--what life is all about, what the most important thing is.  (And I'll tell you what, it's not the fact that I have a lot of picking up to do around here.)

It's this:

Ephesians:
2 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³ among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body^[a] and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.^[b] 4 But^[c] God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. [Emphases added] [Source]

This is what matters.  We can't expect perfection from ourselves, because we're not perfect.  We needed saving--which means at one point, we were lost.  Specifically, dead (see v. 1).  But in our baptisms, God made us one with Christ--one in his death, and one in his resurrection, so both Jesus' sacrifice and righteousness count for us, too.  God made us alive with Christ.  He has given us the promise of eternal life with Jesus, and because of his grace has given us faith (again, through our baptism and in the Word) which saves us.

Can I add a note here?  Perhaps you don't believe the truth of these things.  You might have heard about them, but not made them a part of your life.  If you don't know who Jesus is, or if you've heard of him but don't believe in him as your Lord and Savior, please, email me (jaimie dot ramsey at cune dot org) and we'll talk.  This message is for you, too, because Jesus also died for and loves YOU!


Our salvation is not contingent upon anything we do or don't do.  That would make even salvation from sin into a law.  But it's not.

Our salvation is entirely about Jesus, and what HE has done for us.

We are children of God and the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts, enabling us to live obedient lives to God.  Because of Jesus' sacrifice on our behalf, God no longer looks at us and sees sinners.  He looks at us and sees Jesus.  He knows we're sinful, but he also knows Jesus has already paid the price for that sin.  He has already forgiven us for everything we have done or will ever do that is against his will for us.  There is no more price to be paid, no more punishment to be taken.  Oh, we experience the temporal consequences of bad decisions.  Sometimes those consequences are acutely painful.  But they don't affect our eternal state--our soul has been ransomed by Jesus Christ, and nothing in this world can touch it.

Ah...yes.  This is what's important.  God doesn't love me more if my house is clean.  He doesn't look at my homemaking skills or my good grades and say, "Well done, Jaimie, you've just made your salvation more sure."  That would be ridiculous.  God doesn't depend on us for our own salvation.  He just asks that we don't throw away the faith in his Son that he's graciously given us.  And I'm not about to do that.

Today, you and I can rest in the knowledge that God loves us, no matter what our house looks like, no matter how we do in our job or our studies or whatever vocation we're in.  Remember that you are saved by grace through faith, and this is NOT of your own doing.  It's a gift from God.

Linking today with Upward not Inward, Exceptionalistic, Deep Roots at Home, Raising Homemakers

What True Friendship Is

We all need friends.  I suppose there are those rare people who are content to live a completely solitary life, but I think it's safe to say that's not true for most people.

What does friendship--true friendship--look like?

Let's see what the Bible has to say.

Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loves at all times..."
Proverbs 18:24: "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you..." -Jesus, John 15:12-16b

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another...We love because he first loved us."  1 John 4:7-11, 19

Friendship is all about love--selfless love, agape love.  Real friendship, the kind Christ has shown us in choosing us, living for us, dying for us, is this kind of love.  We also show our friends the kind of love the Greeks called "Philia," a deep, friendly affection.

What does this mean?  How do we show this kind of friend-love?

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

That's what love is.  That's what it does, and what it doesn't do.
This is how God loves us, and how he has taught us to love one another.

Friendship love isn't mushy love.  The word "love" tends to be associated with romance.  But friendship love isn't like that.  It's steadfast, trusting, and unchanging.  It's the kind of love between people that lets them say, "I'm going to stick with you no matter what, I'll always have your back, and when you're being an idiot, I'll let you know."

I should point out that there are different kinds of friends.  There are kindred spirits, or friends of the heart--friends with whom you seem to have everything in common, friends who share your heart on all the most important things, friends you will have for all your life.  These are the rarer kind of friends.  Only a few of them may come into your life, but only a few are really needed.  These are the people you will always be able to count on, and even if you don't see them in person for a long time, you'll never lose touch.

Then there are those friends who we talk to at school, work, and church, people who we'll happily visit with over coffee, but people to whom we don't tell all our secrets.  These are great people to have in your life, and they can be a great blessing.

As a woman, I know how women think.  We make lots of connections, we like having a network of people we know.  (I'm also an extrovert, so I can't speak for introverts here.  Please give me some input in the comments!)  I used to have the habit of trying to cultivate a large group of close friends.  It's only been recently that I realized the value of just a few close friends, and remaining friendly with other people I know.

Perhaps you don't have any very close friends.  Maybe there isn't someone in your life who you can open your heart to.  Even if you're married, there are emotional needs that women have that can't be met by even the dearest man in our lives.  Girl friends are necessary whether you're young or middle-aged, married or single.  If you struggle with making friends, my heart aches for you.  I will be praying for you, that the Lord will bring a person in your life to meet those friendship needs!

I can suggest to you that to gain friends, you can work on being the kind of friend you'd like to have.
-Be intentional about getting together with people you know.  Make that phone call.  Set up a coffee date.
-Keep in touch with people you value.  Send an email or even a text or Facebook message.  If writing notes is your thing, drop a card in the mail.
-Frequent places where you can find like-minded people.  Join a Bible study for people in your demographic (if you're a mom, find a moms' Bible study at your church), volunteer at a place you really support, help out at your kids' school.  Do you like to work out?  Find a Curves or a Zumba class in your area.  Do you like to knit?  See if there is a knitting group that meets at a church or community center near you.
-Pray about it!  Even Jesus needed friends--although his friends weren't the kind of people his criticizers thought he would choose.  Jesus hung out with tax collectors, prostitutes and beggars (but I'm not suggesting that's exactly what you should do!).  God sees the desires of your heart, and he will answer your prayers (although he might not do it in the way you expect).

The bottom line is this: Our greatest and truest Friend is Jesus Christ.  He might not be physically present in a way that you can see and touch and hear him, but God is present in your life.  The Holy Spirit is everywhere, and if you are a baptized child of God, the Holy Spirit lives in your heart--closer than any person can get.  He knows your joys and sorrows, he understands your questions and fears.  He is there to give you peace and comfort and still your anxieties.  Never forget this, dear one.

"What a friend we have in Jesus,

all our sins and griefs to bear.

What a privilege to carry

everything to God in prayer!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pain we bear,

all because we do not carry

everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged--

take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful

who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness--

take it to the Lord in prayer."

Text, Joseph M. Scriven

source

Linking up, with thanks, to: Time-Warp Wife, Growing Home, Fancy Little Things

Love in Word and Action

It has occurred to me recently that when I say "I love you" to my husband, it doesn't really convey all that I want it to mean.

Have you ever noticed this with your spouse and other loved ones?

Sometimes it means "I think you're fantastic for what you just did."  "I appreciate you a lot."  "I am so attracted to you."  "I am crazy about you."  "I have this inexpressible warm feeling in my heart that needs to be expressed some way, so this is what I'm saying."  Or maybe that last one is just me...

Anyway, sometimes I feel like "love" can be expressed better in actions than in words.  The English language just doesn't always cut it.  Of course, if I knew Greek, I would be very familiar with several other variations of the word, each with a very specific meaning denoting a relationship between two people.  The four main ones are, in my own words (thanks to Wikipedia for the reminder):

Agape:  A selfless love, the kind that God has for us, and that he expressed by sending his Son Jesus to live, die and rise for us.  This kind of love--the kind that gives up everything for someone else--is the love discussed in 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 3, among others.

Eros: Passionate, sexual love and attraction.  This kind of love is intended to only be expressed between a husband and wife.  When perverted, Eros turns into lust.

Philia: A loyal, friendly love, the kind of affection expressed between friends.

Storge: A natural affection, most specifically the love between parents and children.

In marriage, the three kinds of love that are most expressed are Agape, Eros and Philia.  These three in combination create the full, maturing, growing love that God designed marriage to have.

Marriage isn't just passion.  It isn't only friendship, although a marriage wouldn't be complete without those two beautiful elements.  The kind of love in a marriage is one that says, "I'm sticking with you for life, no matter what happens, and I'd do anything for you, even when you drive me bonkers. Nobody can ever get between you and me, and I'll feel the same way about you in fifty years as I do now."

So should I go through that litany with my husband every day?  Well, I could.  It would probably be a good thing.  But it's expressed in our actions (not perfectly but we do try).

Every day, I get up and make breakfast for my husband and me.
He gets up and gets ready to go to class and work, so that he can provide for our family.

I take care of cleaning the bathroom and doing other things around the house, whether I feel like it or not.
He takes care of doing the taxes, paying bills, taking care of the car, and other things, whether he likes doing it or not.

We are kind and considerate toward each other (almost always), and when we mess up with each other, we work through the problem and forgive each other, because we don't want a disagreement to build up and fester.

We have each other's backs, and support and defend one another.

We encourage each other, praise each other's good qualities, and point out (kindly) when the other is sinning or at fault.

These and many other things my husband and I do because we love each other.  Passion isn't necessarily part of what I listed, although it is that kind of love that helps drive our desire to serve each other.

We're best friends, partners, a team, and lovers.

Love is all of that.  And sometimes, I have found, that is best expressed in actions, especially when those actions are combined with words.


So tell me: How do you express love for your spouse and those around you?  What do you say?  What do you do?

Linking with Time-Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies, To Love, Honor and Vacuum

My Purpose for Writing and for Life

I was inspired today to reevaluate my purpose and goals for this blog, and for my writing in general.  Why am I writing?  About what am I writing?  For whom am I writing?

Bottom line, I'm writing to honor and glorify God.  I am writing so that you can know my Jesus--the Son of God who is Lord of all.

And within that, I'm writing to encourage, build up, and inspire you--those for whom I write.

I want to write about a lot of things: homemaking, marriage, cooking, life.  But I want the good news of Jesus Christ to be the common thread that runs through all of that.  God is all-pervading in my life; he's the reason I am alive and he gives me purpose for life.  I want my blog to reflect that.

I'm writing for you, and I'm writing for Jesus.

Maybe that sounds kind of corny.  But in this little space on the internet, I have a voice, and I can use that voice to serve him: to praise him for who he is and what he has done, and to talk about the good news of his life, death, and resurrection.

I want to share a lot of things with you.  I'm thankful for each of my readers, and yes, I hope my readership will grow.  But I want that mostly so that I can tell all of you who read these words of mine, that Jesus loves you.

I want you to know that:  Jesus loves you.  So much.  So much that he, the Son of God, came to earth as a human, lived, and died, and rose again, for you.    He did this so you can have a relationship with him, have faith in him as your Lord and Savior, and spend eternity in heaven with him.

As a sinful person, I won't always accomplish what I set out to do on this blog.  I might focus more on myself than my God.  When that happens, I ask that you graciously look past my faults to the perfect God who, by his grace, I do my best to serve.

He has done everything for me, and he has done everything for you.  Please rest in the knowledge today that the Creator and King of the universe--loves--you.


Linking with:  The Fontenot Four, black tag diaries, There's Just One Mommy, Loved and Lovely

Marriage: A Challenge and a Blessing

If you are married, you know that marriage isn't always a walk in the park.  It's hard work!  When two sinful (saved by grace, but still sinful) people merge their lives, there will be difficulties, no matter how compatible a couple is.

At the root of many marital difficulties is communication, or the lack thereof--communication about money, sex, in-laws, jobs, children, etc, etc.  Learning to communicate fully with one's spouse is a lifelong process, one for which I definitely do not have all the answers.  What I do know is that it is essential for each spouse to seek to understand the way their partner communicates, because, of course, men and women communicate in quite different ways.  When each spouse is willing to look at things with the other person's perspective, communication will be easier.

In my experience and in talking with married friends, I've noticed that as married couples, many of us are great at communicating with other people, but not necessarily with each other!  But then, we don’t live with other people, and therein lies the greatest difficulty and the greatest blessing in marriage.

I think God often give us the spouse he has because that person has something to teach us, or because something about them helps us realize our own weaknesses and strengths. That's definitely true for Joshua and me.  Marriage, I have learned, is one of the most effective ways God teaches us to be more like Jesus.  It requires us to be selfless, to give of ourselves for the good of the other person, to love someone even when they're driving us crazy.  It requires us to have tough love, and to keep the other person accountable to God's will and direction for their lives.  Making a lifetime commitment to another person, and sticking with that commitment, is one of the hardest things anyone could ever do--but it will be one of the greatest blessings they will ever experience.

One unfortunate thing that I have discovered in life, in relationships with my parents, siblings, and husbands, is that it is easiest to hurt and disagree with the people I love the most (partly because I'm with them so much, and know them better than I know anyone else).  This isn't a pleasant fact, but because we live in a sinful world, it's true.

I also know that God's love and forgiveness make up for the deficiencies in our own ability to love and forgive. Therefore, no matter what struggles we have, we have the strength of Christ to work through them and the love and the forgiveness from the Father to heal after the struggles are worked out.  This is the only way my marriage works, and it is the backbone of all the relationships I have: God's love and his forgiveness.

Marriage is by no means easy.  We have to fight against our sinful natures every day, but by God's grace he enables us to become more like him, and love our spouse the way God loves both of us.  Even when we do fail, God gives us a second chance (and a third, and a fourth...).  He constantly forgives us when we repent, and helps us try again.  And I, for one, am glad I have an entire lifetime with my husband to work on getting this marriage-thing right!

Linking today with:
Jolene @ The Alabaster Jar
Naomi @ What Joy is Mine
Ruth @ The Better Mom
Raising Arrows
Carissa @ lowercase letters
Exceptionalistic