Marriage: A Challenge and a Blessing

If you are married, you know that marriage isn't always a walk in the park.  It's hard work!  When two sinful (saved by grace, but still sinful) people merge their lives, there will be difficulties, no matter how compatible a couple is.

At the root of many marital difficulties is communication, or the lack thereof--communication about money, sex, in-laws, jobs, children, etc, etc.  Learning to communicate fully with one's spouse is a lifelong process, one for which I definitely do not have all the answers.  What I do know is that it is essential for each spouse to seek to understand the way their partner communicates, because, of course, men and women communicate in quite different ways.  When each spouse is willing to look at things with the other person's perspective, communication will be easier.

In my experience and in talking with married friends, I've noticed that as married couples, many of us are great at communicating with other people, but not necessarily with each other!  But then, we don’t live with other people, and therein lies the greatest difficulty and the greatest blessing in marriage.

I think God often give us the spouse he has because that person has something to teach us, or because something about them helps us realize our own weaknesses and strengths. That's definitely true for Joshua and me.  Marriage, I have learned, is one of the most effective ways God teaches us to be more like Jesus.  It requires us to be selfless, to give of ourselves for the good of the other person, to love someone even when they're driving us crazy.  It requires us to have tough love, and to keep the other person accountable to God's will and direction for their lives.  Making a lifetime commitment to another person, and sticking with that commitment, is one of the hardest things anyone could ever do--but it will be one of the greatest blessings they will ever experience.

One unfortunate thing that I have discovered in life, in relationships with my parents, siblings, and husbands, is that it is easiest to hurt and disagree with the people I love the most (partly because I'm with them so much, and know them better than I know anyone else).  This isn't a pleasant fact, but because we live in a sinful world, it's true.

I also know that God's love and forgiveness make up for the deficiencies in our own ability to love and forgive. Therefore, no matter what struggles we have, we have the strength of Christ to work through them and the love and the forgiveness from the Father to heal after the struggles are worked out.  This is the only way my marriage works, and it is the backbone of all the relationships I have: God's love and his forgiveness.

Marriage is by no means easy.  We have to fight against our sinful natures every day, but by God's grace he enables us to become more like him, and love our spouse the way God loves both of us.  Even when we do fail, God gives us a second chance (and a third, and a fourth...).  He constantly forgives us when we repent, and helps us try again.  And I, for one, am glad I have an entire lifetime with my husband to work on getting this marriage-thing right!

Linking today with:
Jolene @ The Alabaster Jar
Naomi @ What Joy is Mine
Ruth @ The Better Mom
Raising Arrows
Carissa @ lowercase letters
Exceptionalistic