Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A Wise Woman Submits to Her Husband

Disclaimer: As with everything I write, I do not claim to be an expert or have all the answers.  Many women have much more knowledge and experience than I.  I realize the topic of submission can be a touchy one for some people.  I am simply sharing what I have learned from experience and God's Word, in the hope that it may be of help and encouragement to someone else.

The topic of submission, like the topic of wives and mothers who stay at home, can be a sensitive one.  I believe that's another result of "women's liberation" and the feminist movement.  For quite a few decades now, women have insisted on equality with men in every aspect of life.  They don't want to have to answer to men in anything.  I realize this attitude is not present in all women, but I think I can safely say that it is a theme in Western culture.

As a Christian, I know and have been taught that from the very beginning of time, God created women to be under the authority of men.  God made Eve to be a helper for her husband Adam (Genesis 2:18).  After God created Eve from one of Adam's ribs, Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man" (Genesis 2:23).  Throughout the Bible, women who respect and submit to their husbands are praised.  Proverbs 31:12 praises the woman who brings her husband "good, not harm, all the days of her life."  The New Testament is full of instructions for wives to be submissive to their husbands.

Today I want to discuss three things:  why a wise woman submits to her husband; how she does it; and what results from it.

There are three main reasons that I have found why a wise woman submits to her husband.
1)  Out of obedience to God.  A Christian woman desires first and foremost to live a life in obedience and service to God.  As I have mentioned and will continue to make clear, the Scriptures contain many instructions to women to submit to their husbands.  As Christian women, we should require no other reason to do so.  James wrote, "Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you... Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up" (James 4:7, 10).  Paul wrote to the Colossians, "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18).  And to the Ephesians he wrote, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:21-22).

2) To build up her husband and encourage him in his role as leader.  As a wife's role is to be in submission to her husband, his role is to be the leader and caretaker of his family.  A woman who refuses to submit to her husband usurps his position, thus rendering him unnecessary, and making him feel less of a man and less needed.  This is the exact opposite of what wives should do for their husbands.  When they do submit, they encourage their husband to fill his God-given role, and build him up in his manhood at the same time.

3) It takes pressure and responsibility off the wife.  A submissive wife is "let off the hook" when it comes to making big--and sometimes even small--decisions in her family.  Certainly no husband should disregard his wife's opinion; he should always consider her wisdom and listen to her advice.  However, when a wife submits to her husband's judgement she is letting him take the praise for a good decision and the blame for a bad one.  As the head of the household it is his responsibility to take on most decision-making.

How does a wise woman submit?
1) By God's grace.  Submission is not something that comes naturally.  Because of our sinful nature we have the tendency to do the easy thing: disrespect our husbands, disobey God, and refuse to submit.  Isn't it always easiest to insist on having our own way?  Submission is not something we followers of Christ can do on our own.  It is a relief to know that we can, but only with God's help.  He promises to help us do so because submitting to our husbands IS submitting to God, and therefore honoring and glorifying to him.

2) An act of will.  Submission takes work.  I often have to bite my tongue, count to five, or stop myself from speaking in order to avoid talking back to my husband, contradicting him, or questioning his judgement.  Being submissive takes practice; it's not a habit one can develop overnight.

3) Not a display of weakness.  Submissive wives are often derided as being weak.  This is absolutely not true!  As stated above, submission is not the easy thing for a wife to do.  On the contrary: when a wife submits to and respects her husband, she is displaying a great love for and trust in him, a strength of will and character, and most importantly a strong trust in God.

What results when a wise woman submits?
1) She becomes more Christ-like.  We submit to our husbands, and to Christ, as Christ submitted to his father.  The goal of every Christian's life should be to become more like Christ every day.  Submission teaches us selflessness, obedience, kindness, respect, and myriad other qualities that define who Jesus is.  In submitting, we mimic Christ.

2) She gains greater trust in God.  This, I believe, is one of the greatest benefits to being submissive.  Trust in God doesn't come naturally any more than submission to one's husband does, but when a woman trusts her husband she is literally trusting God, because he has placed her husband in his position of authority.  When a woman surrenders to her husband, she is telling both him and God, "I trust you to take care of me."

3) The marriage is strengthened.  Everything always works best when it's done God's way, and this is especially true of marriage.  When both the husband and wife fill and fulfill their God-given roles, each is being obedient to God and their relationship will be blessed as a result.  When a wife submits she is encouraging her husband's manliness and her own womanliness, and her respectfulness of her husband will encourage his loving attitude toward her.

4) The wife is a witness to the world of the Gospel.  Titus 2:3-5 says, "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." (Emphasis mine.)  When a woman is submissive and subject to her husband, she honors God and God's word, and her obedience is a witness to others.

In his first epistle, Peter discusses this topic at some length.  In chapter 3, he writes, "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives" (3:1-2).  A submissive wife is such a witness to the Gospel that Peter says she could win her husband over to faith in Christ simply by the way she lives her life!  Peter continues a few verses later, "For this is the way the women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear" (1 Peter 3:5-6).  Notice what Peter said?  It was the women who put their hope in God who were submissive to their husbands.  They trusted God first and foremost, and that enabled them to trust their husbands.

I know submission isn't always an easy thing to do.  But always remember, dear sisters in the Lord, that we do it to obey God, we do it with his help, and we do it to witness his Gospel.




  1. How gracious our God is to have blessed you with such insight and wisdom at such a young age! I pray that His grace will enable you to live out that wisdom more and more each day, that you may be His faithful witness and a blessing to your dear husband. I love you, Jaimie Elise.

  2. While I respect your opinion, I disagree. I believe a woman should respect and honor her husband, however, submit is such a strong and demeaning word- almost slave-like. I believe all major decisions should be carefully thought out and came to as a couple, not "let off the hook" by allowing the husband to make all decisions. A marriage is a fair and equal partnership, not a dictatorship. I am glad I married a man who trusts and respects me enough to include me in all major life decisions. I don't feel as if that makes us any less Christian or our marriage any less centered on Christ.

  3. Anonymous,
    Thank you for being so kind and respectful! You made some very good points. I might have been unclear in my post.
    I don't think that wives should always, completely, surrender all decision-making to their husbands. I certainly don't. Yes, we are a team, and we make big decisions together. But if we happen to disagree on something, I feel that it is my God-honoring duty to let him make the FINAL decision.
    No, marriage is not meant to be a dictatorship. I certainly don't let my husband treat me like a doormat. That's not God-honoring at all. What I wanted to encourage women in is letting their husbands be in charge, because they are meant to be.

    My husband describes it very well: "Marriage is like a business partnership; but I, the husband, am the senior partner."

    I'm sorry the word "submit" has such a negative connotation for you. I don't see it that way at all; we are, in fact, called to submit to Christ before we are called to submit to our husbands. It's not putting myself in the position of a slave, but I am to be my husband's servant, just as Christ served the church and loved her. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 11:3, "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." Submission doesn't mean I'm allowing my husband to treat me like a slave. It means I'm putting myself into the care of my husband, and we're both putting ourselves into the care of God.

    My husband does trust and respect me, and always includes me in our decision-making. But I am able to respect and trust him in return by letting him be in charge, as husbands are commanded by God to be.

  4. Wonderful post, Jaimie! So thorough and well thought out. I wish I had written it! :)

  5. thank you, Meghan! That means a lot coming from someone who knows way more about submission than I do. :)

  6. Thank you for this post. I was actually thinking today about how to be a wife who better submits to my husband without being whiney and trying to always get my own way. It's a tough habit to form, but it is important for the encouragement of my husband. In the end, today, I realized that being whiney is not the way to go about getting my own way, but to pray about things. Your post was really helpful!

  7. Thank you for the encouragement, Jenn. Blessings on your marriage--you're on the right track for sure! :)

  8. Dear Jaimie, I as a Christian woman have wanted from a young age to have a job and be able to support my future family with my future husband. I do not want to let my future husband take all of the responsibility of being the "bread winner" and making all of the decisions. Women and men were created differently, with different roles, but it appears to me that by "submitting" to your husband, you are allowing him to completely dominate your relationship.

    Women do not necessarily have to be completely submissive to their husbands to trust God more.

    I apologize if this appears offensive, but I feel like respecting your husband is better than fully submitting him and letting him rule completely over and have the final say all the time.

  9. no, i can't practice this in the context of marriage now... but these are beautiful insights. necessarily demonstrative of the gospel. imperative to healthy marriage. wise.

    what else can show so well the relationship between christ and his bride the church? this is a witness. a metaphor. it is lovely. and ever so meaningful.

    it certainly takes courage to write posts like this in a world like ours. thank you, dear jaimie. love you.

  10. This is an incredibly interesting topic and one that is debated even throughout the church today. I know many women do give pause when the words "submit" or "submission" is used in regards to the role a wife plays in a marriage. I will admit that when I was a younger wife (I am 35 years old now), I definitely questioned exactly what it meant to submit as God's Word would have us do versus what the word submit means to the secular world. Just as marriage is a partnership, I believe you cannot separate the message of Ephesians 5 for wives from the verses that follow concerning God's requirements for husbands:

    "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

    Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." -Ephesians 5:22-32 (NIV)

    When you read the instructions for both the husband and the wife, you can plainly see there is more to a marriage than just the wife's submission. God has given very specific instructions to the husband as to how he should lead, namely, not out of self-interest but out of a love for doing what is best for the spiritual growth and well-being of his wife (and I would extend that meaning out to include children/the family). The husband's love for his wife is to be a sacrificial love, just as Christ's love for us is. I believe knowing this takes the edge off of the word "submit" - after all, a husband should also do what God commands of him, therefore, the decisions he makes will be carefully thought out with complete consideration towards his wife and will be what is best for both of them, not just him.

    This is also where it becomes extremely important to marry a man who wants to live within the Word of God and be the husband God commands him to be. When you know your husband seeks God's direction for his life and for your marriage, your trust in your husband and in God not only make submission possible, but preferable. This is also something that grows and deepens over time in a marriage. It isn't easy at first, believe me. :) But it is worth it.

  11. Great post! I am chuckling to myself about "it's an act of will." There are many times that I repeat to myself inside my head, "bequietbequietbequiet" to try to keep myself from saying the disrespectful thing that I'm thinking. I am a work in progress!!

    There was a big decision that we had to make recently, and it was very difficult. I was quite thankful that the ultimate decision had to be his. We talked and prayed about it for hours and hours, and he certainly knew how I felt about everything, but it was a burden off my back to not have to make the choice myself.

  12. Mary, thank you for sharing the whole passage!

    I wasn't trying, in my post, to diminish or hide the husband's role. You are absolutely right: husbands are called to love their wives with the selfless and sacrificial love that Christ demonstrated toward the Church. When husbands love their wives like that, it PREVENTS them from becoming domineering or controlling. A loving husband will gladly and wisely seek out his wife's opinion and take it to heart.

    Anonymous, I guess I was unclear yet again...I'm sorry. I submit to my husband, but I don't let him "completely dominate our relationship." I think I said that in my previous reply to you, actually: "I certainly don't allow my husband to treat me like a doormat." And he doesn't. He knows what it means to love me the way Christ loves the church.

    Does that mean we both always fulfill our roles perfectly? No. We're sinners. I don't always submit to him like I should, and he doesn't always love me like he should.

    The bottom line, Anonymous, is that I am submitting to GOD by following his directive to submit to my husband. That is not dependent on my husband's behavior. I won't allow him to treat me in a way that is sinful, but I am completely bound to be fully obedient to and reliant on God. Therefore, I am bound to be respectful to and submissive to my husband at all times--as long as he is not treating me in a sinful manner--period. Because God says so.

    Mary, once again, I was directing this post mainly at wives (including myself!). When I write on this topic again I think I will be more thorough and include the instructions for husbands, because you're right, it "takes the edge off" the word "submission" for those who find it unappealing. And I love the last few sentences you wrote!! Yes! "When you know your husband seeks God's direction...your trust in your husband and God not only make submission possible, but preferable." Exactly. That's how God intended it to work.

    Sorry this was such a long reply--again!

  13. Megan--YES! I know exactly what you mean! I have this horrible habit of speaking before I think...I really have to bite my tongue in order to not say something disrespectful!

    And that is one of my favorite parts of being submissive to my husband. I don't have to take on the responsibility of making all the tough decisions. Sure, I give him my input, but it's up to him to make the final call. It's such a weight off me! Thanks for your encouragement and input. I'm loving all this discussion!!!

  14. Are women not supposed to work outside of the home then from your perspective?

  15. I never said or suggested that! Nor have I ever said that in a post.

    I do feel that if it is at all possible, it is good and best for a woman to work in her home! But I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING against women who do. I do! I currently have three different jobs that I do besides working at home! If it was possible, I would love to be able to stay home full-time. But there is nothing wrong with working outside the home. For many women, I know it's absolutely necessary for them to work in order to help support their family. And a lot of women simply WANT to work outside the home. That's fine! God calls us all to unique vocations. We can serve him in many ways.

    I think a woman's first place should be in the home--her priorities should be to serve God in whatever way he has called her, and then her husband and family. Outside responsibilities should never take precedence over one's husband and children. But there are as many ways of homemaking and working as there are women.

    Just because a woman works outside the home does not mean she is not submissive to her husband. Of course, if he has good reason for NOT wanting her to work outside the home, then she should abide by his wishes. But every marriage is as unique and individual as the man and women who make it.

  16. the second line... "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING against women who do work outside the home." That's what it should say. :)

  17. P.S. Proverbs 31, a chapter lauded for its description of the ideal woman, discusses a variety of things the woman does to make a profit and help provide for her family. It also talks at length about what she does in her home to care for it and her husband and family. She is a woman who is respected and brings praise and respect to her husband. I don't think God has anything against working women, either!

  18. I fear it's a little too early in your married life for you to be giving advice to other women, firstly. If I understand correctly, you were married as a teenager. Unfortunately, the lack of experience as an adult rather invalidates your approach. In addition, you demonstrate a significant misunderstanding of the biblical suggestions that you state. An examination of the material using exegesis rather than eisegesis would benefit you greatly. It is obvious that your naivete on the topic stems not only from your youthful marriage, but also from your lack of knowledge regarding the semantics surrounding the material you claim to understand.

  19. 1) For your first concern, please see my disclaimer at the top of the post. Yes, I'm young. No, I do not claim to have all the answers.

    2) Would you please enlighten us, then, on the exegetical meaning of the biblical passages? I don't claim to be an expert on them. I simply explained them using my understanding from my own reading and study of them. I also don't claim to fully understand Scripture; I don't think it's possible for anyone but the Writer to do that.

  20. This is a beautiful post- and you are very courageous to write about this subject- esp. when we face so much pressure as women in this country to "be all and do all." My husband and I have been married for almost eight years. We got married while we were both attending seminary. Submission did not come naturally to me, since I have a very strong personality. All of the things you stated are completely true. My husband loves God and loves me as Christ loves the church. He is not perfect, neither am I- but we have both learned over the years that the way God designed things to work is ALWAYS the best way. It is not easy- but the blessings that flow when you submit, not begrudgingly, but with humility both to God and your husband are worth it. And it makes such a tremendous impact on my children- they see that I respect their Dad- thatwe have a genuine love that flows out of our love for Christ and that love extends to them as well. God bless you- I think when we speak the Truth that is often when we face the most adversity- for accepting what God calls us to do always requires us to deny self and in humility rely on God and love sacrificially. Thank you again for such a thoughtful and beautifully written post.

  21. myheartsmission--all I can say out of a full heart is, thank you. Your encouragement means so very much.

  22. Submit or submission is a negative word when in the context of giving the ultimate decision to another. Although you may not see it in this light, the general population does and you should take this into account. Submission throughout history is negative, even in America plantation owners used 1 Peter 2:18 (Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh.) to keep slaves under control. This seems like a little outdated and slightly racist passage in today’s landscape. Therefore I propose to you that maybe Paul’s writing on women to submit to their husbands is a little outdated for today.

    I understand that you do not have all the answers and that these are your own interpretations but you must be careful when claiming your own interpretations as the truth.

    As a side note Islam when translated means submit or submission to God. (Yes, Islam believes in the same Judeo-Christian God as you, they even believe that Jesus existed and was a prophet.)

  23. I realize most of the world sees the phrase "submission" and looks at it as a negative thing. But then, most of the world doesn't believe in the Triune God, or that Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior, or that the Bible is the inspired, infallible Word of God. I'm not looking to please most of the world. In fact, if most of the world disagrees with me, that's more encouragement that the Scripture I believe is God's Word IS the Truth.

    I'm not going to debate about whether the Bible is still relevant for Christians today. I firmly believe that it is, but it's not my job to convince you or anyone else of that.

    I don't claim that my interpretations are infallible. I'll be careful to make a note of that in every post that could possibly be taken that way from now on. Only God is truth, and his Word is truth--and we sometimes misinterpret that Word.

    I do believe firmly in my own convictions, and ask God's forgiveness if they are wrong. I don't ask anyone else to believe them, however. That's between everyone else, and God.

    I knew that about Islam; I lived and worked with Muslims in Indonesia for five months. Their religion is about submitting to God, and yes they believe that Jesus existed, but they don't believe in the Triune God of Christianity. Also, they don't believe in Jesus' divinity as well as his humanity--that he was God and man--and that he died to save the world from sin and Satan. In this context, I think the definition of the word Islam is a moot point; it has nothing to do with Christianity or living a Christian lifestyle.

  24. The point is not moot. I was simply implying that when you submit yourself you are submitting yourself to God. Once you begin that you stop questioning things and accepting them, but is it not better for your faith to question in order to learn and grow? Through submission you have given up your right to question and in turn give all your power to someone else.

    What I suggested of being aware of the worlds view has nothing to do with you agreeing with it. You do not have to be of the world but you sure are living in it. I also never suggested that you should change what you said but offer an insight as why others may have found your word choice poor or offensive.

    Upon looking at synonyms for both words one can see that they show words associated with defeat or loss of power. All I am saying is to contemplate your word choice in the future to appease all your readers, that way your message can reach more.

  25. OK. I understand what you meant. And I'm aware of the world's view. I know I'm in it, that's for sure. I know that what I believe is radically different than what the world believes. The Bible is a well-known book, but it is not popular. And the Bible uses the word "submit." My opinions and beliefs on the role of women in marriage may not be popular, either. That's ok. I'm in the world, not of it. You and I are sisters in Christ, and we disagree on this point. That's ok.

    I'm not looking to turn anyone away. But neither am I seeking to be universal, or anything near it, in what I write. This is a place for me to write my opinions and beliefs and others to agree or disagree as they choose. My word choice reflects my beliefs, and my interpretation of God's word. That may or may not be accurate, but it's what I think is right and true. I'll contemplate my word choice in the future...but I may or may not choose to use different words. The truth is supposed to make some people uncomfortable. That's how they know they don't have it.

  26. P.S. I think words in the biblical context often have different meanings than they do in a secular context. "Love," for example. defines the word as
    1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
    2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
    3. sexual passion or desire.
    4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
    The Bible states, "God is love." There's much more to love according to Scripture than how a dictionary describes it. I think the same holds true with the word "submission."

  27. Jaimie, I am sorry, I should have made it clearer I was trying to help your Anonymous commenter understand that the subject of the submission of wives in the Bible went hand-in-hand with the Godly responsibilities of husbands, not making a comment about your post in general. :)

    I think you show great wisdom in your post, and when you look back on it, you will understand just how much wisdom you had at this younger age. As far as your "lack of experience as an adult invalidating your approach" - I firmly disagree with this statement from your anonymous commenter and leave you with the words of Paul in First Timothy 4:12: "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young..." :) You are a shining example!

  28. Wow! Lots of replies on this post! Here are a few of my thoughts on the matter.

    During marriage counseling, Pastor specifically talked about Colassians 3:18 and how the word "submit" is taken very negatively by todays society. He said that the word "honor" is more appropriate and I think I agree. Submission makes it sound like the husband has complete power, and I think the connotations with "submit" have changed over the years.

    In our wedding vows (29 days yay!) our pastor is COMPLETELY omitting the phrase "obey him" because he said that this is also taken the wrong way in our society and I agree.

    I think that God gave man and wife certain roles in order to make the relationship work. I'm not talking about jobs - more like the husband is her protector and the wife is his support and help. On shows like Wife Swap, I've seen where the Dad really wants to stay home with the kids and the woman wants to work outside of the home. I say, if it works for them, then great! God told women to be a man's helper, not necessarily their homemaker. I think whatever works best for a family and is not hurting anyone and is still Christ centerered, then I would say it is a Godly marriage.

    As far as big decisions go, thats a tough one. I mean, I'm really good at planning ahead and looking at details and Matthew doesn't so much. He is good at looking at things practically and how decisions affect other people's emotions- I'm not. So you kind of have to balance each other out and I think that if someone is good about making financial decisions then that person should have MORE of a say but I don't know if one person should ALWAYS have the final say.

    All in all I'm not saying that I don't have more "submitting" to work on. I'm kind of strong willed and independent and it is hard for me to let Matthew make decisions sometimes or just do stuff for him because it is a considerate thing to do. Really, he is the more nuturing one in our relationship which sounds really messed up, but it's true. I pray that I learn and grow to be more considerate and that our marriage will be a Christ-like one.

  29. Mary--thank you. Thank you so much.

    Jacquelyn: You are so right: as long as a couple's marriage is still Christ-centered and God-honoring, the roles can be a little different and it will still be a fantastic marriage.

    I realize everybody's personalities are different. For me, submission comes REALLY hard...I'm a firstborn and a serious control freak. For me to be respectful of and to Joshua, I need to work on being submissive to him...that's just how it works with us.

    I think you and Matthew have a really solid foundation, I think your personalities work great together, and I think you are starting off on the right foot! I'll definitely be praying for you guys as you look forward to your marriage--which I am so excited to witness. :)

  30. Thought I would weigh in here, having read through this post and the comments. I profess firstly that I am a married woman, a Christian, the daughter of a Christian couple that have been married for several decades and the sister of a Christian man who has been married for several years in difficult circumstances with a strong-willed, thoroughly Christian wife.

    As far as this topic goes... I have struggled with the exact implications of this. I have considered the interpretations of my denomination and that of others. Like many women in this post line, I am strong-willed, opinionated and stubborn. Submission is hard for me. Here are a few things I have learned in the journey, as well as thorough study.

    1) In the original Greek, the implication of "submit" is one of treating the other with respect. A wife should respect her husband. Kind of a no-brainer. And what do you do when you respect someone: you are willing to surrender your own opinions in trust to the other person.

    2) The discussion of 1 Peter 2:18 was inaccurate, forgive my bluntness. There were those who used this passage for their own selfish use in the period of slavery in the US, but the true understanding of this passage existed at the same time, and continues now. The intent of this passage was not to support the existence of slavery, it was to encourage slaves to be so respectful of those who enslaved them that their owners would be shamed by their own behaviour. In the same way, Christians are told to pray for those who persecute them and love them, in order to shame them over their own behavior. In other words, the intent was to bring about peaceful social change, not support slavery. (Furthermore, as a side note, the kind of slavery that existed in the US is entirely different from the "slavery" Paul was addressing. Ours was much more brutal.)

    3. Yes, we should all be careful about our word choice, understanding how words are understood in the current culture. We also understand the difficultly in translating one language into another, where there are not always perfect, directly matching words in each language. That is why it is important to do some study when reading the Bible, in order to understand the full implication of different passages and even single words, like "submit."

    4. Before you start making accusations about someone reading into the Bible what you want it to say, make sure you aren't doing the same thing. It's very disrespectful, especially when someone is trying to kindly answer your questions as best they can.

  31. Thanks for posting this! Keep saying what God wants you to say even if people disagree. It takes courage to be a blogger and put yourself out there like this! Be blessed! :) Lauren,

  32. Hi Jaimie,
    First, I agree with everything you said in your post. It's very freeing for me to submit to my husband. I have no desire to try to make the heavy decisions for our family. I'm very blessed to have a husband who values and ask for my opinion though. I once heard an analogy that fits our relationship: My husband is the boss, but I'm the on-site manager. I handle most of the day-to-day operations, but have him when something big comes up and he is free to tell me if he wants something changed. I read through some of the comments and I pray that they do not discourage you from writing and speaking God's truth. I'm young as well (I'm 25), but I've had many women (and couples) for older than me (us) for spiritual advice because we are more mature in our faith. Looking forward to reading more and getting to know you.

    1. Thanks, Emily! I love that analogy: boss and on-site manager. :)

      Those comments were written quite a while ago, and although they made me sad, I have kept writing. I think when we write God's truth, Satan tries all the more to break us down, but I don't intend for that to happen! :)

      It's great when we as young people can be an example to our peers and to those older than we are. Just keep 1 Timothy 2 in mind! :)

  33. I really liked this post! I also struggle a lot with this topic.
    It would be so helpful if you could give some examples of when you are submissive in you´re everyday life. (sorry for the bad english, I hope you understand what i mean)

  34. I want to start first by saying a big "thank you" to Ishvara! There are a bunch of nuts out there just trying to make a fast buck, but you are legitimate! I prayed before I went online that God would send me exactly where I needed to go to find help for my problems in the love department, and I mean I went straight to your site and felt it was the place I needed to be. I'm forever grateful! Ishvara is of God, and his gifts come from God, not some evil or ego-centered place. Of that I am certain, and my love problems have already started to improve. Thank you thank you

    1. I'm so glad you found my blog, but let me correct you on one thing--it was NOT Ishvara who led you here! There is only one God, the Maker of heaven and earth and Creator of all people. His Son, Jesus, also true God, is the one Lord of all. Only through the love and grace of Jesus do we have any good things, because it is through Jesus that we have been made right with God. For God loved the whole world so much that he sent Jesus, his only Son, to earth, to live and die to take the punishment for our sins and RISE again for us. So whoever believes in Jesus and what he has done will not die, but will spend eternity in heaven.

      It is the love of God that will make your love life improve, and it is because of God's love for me that I write this blog! If you have any questions at all, PLEASE don't hesitate to comment or email me-- jaimie dot ramsey at cune dot org.

    2. Also, let me commend you for your faith! I hope that you will come to know the one True God, in whom is all life, and that you will put your faith and hope in him alone. I pray that you will learn of Jesus your Savior, who did all that is necessary for your salvation, and who loves you more than you could ever imagine.

  35. This is an old post but I loved reading it and all the comments! So wonderful to see women seeking submission to their husbands. I have such a similar story as all you fine ladies and want to learn to zip the lip because it is such a difficult task for me. Thanks for pouring out God's word!

  36. So awesome to read all you fine ladies seeking submission to your husbands. I have such a similar story and am not able to 'zip the lip'.. but with God's great strength and guidance I am on the right road. I had found myself getting on my own nerves lately with complaining and nagging. I surely am a pain to my husband ;) But truly I trust in my husband and want him to lead our family! I know he will and he does it greatly. But also he is very passive and introverted. I pray that with this work in progress of submission that he will be given great encouragement and confidence! Thanks a bundle Jamie for pouring out God's love here!


I love reading your thoughts and opinions!