Trust in God, not in myself

In one of my theology classes this semester we're working on becoming more familiar with biblical commentaries so we know how to use them for reference and teaching in the future.  I have found some useful resources online.  I'd like to share some of those with you so you can use them for your own study and edification, and also to seek some deeper meaning on one of my favorite passages.

(Note: I can't vouch for the theology of all the sources I'm about to cite.  I don't know the doctrinal beliefs of the writers, but I do agree with their commentary on the particular passage I'm studying today.)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

    and do not lean on your own understanding.

⁶ 

In all your ways acknowledge him,

    and he will make straight your paths.

This is Proverbs 3:5-6 in the English Standard Version.

Just looking at the verses themselves, what do they mean?

-God is fully trustworthy.  I can confidently put my trust in him.

-I am not trustworthy and should not rely on my own wisdom and understanding.

-In everything I do I should look to God.

-When I give my life to him he will show me the right way to go.

The commentary in my NIV Concordia Self-Study Bible reads,

"Commit your way to the Lord, like Israel's forefathers, who trusted in God and were rescued...Be ever mindful of God and serve him with a willing and faithful heart...He will remove the obstacles from your pathway and bring you to your appointed goal." * 

I quite like this expansion on the text from the Matthew Henry Concise Commentary:

"We must trust in the Lord with all our hearts, believing he is able and wise to do what is best. Those who know themselves, find their own understandings a broken reed, which, if they lean upon, will fail. Do not design any thing but what is lawful, and beg God to direct thee in every case, though it may seem quite plain. In all our ways that prove pleasant, in which we gain our point, we must acknowledge God with thankfulness. In all our ways that prove uncomfortable, and that are hedged up with thorns, we must acknowledge him with submission. It is promised, He shall direct thy paths; so that thy way shall be safe and good, and happy at last. " (Source)

I love how this passage makes clear our own weakness and inability to do life well on our own.  From experience I have found that when I rely on my own wisdom for decision-making, things usually don't turn out very well.  It's only when I seek to make God's will for me my will, that life goes smoothly.  We should not attempt to bend His will to ours.  Rather, when our decisions aren't working the way we want them to, it's a sign that we should bend our will to His.

This note from the Reformation Study Bible sums that idea up well:

"The Lord will guide you to the final goal of life. God gives wisdom and with it the task of making wise decisions; these are the two aspects of guidance in wisdom teaching. There is no hint of guidance that bypasses the duty of making decisions. But human decisions do not overrule the protection of God’s providence (Gen. 50:20, 21; Ps. 103:14)." (Source)

God doesn't lay our life out in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step instruction sheet.  We have been blessed with free will, and therefore we have the abilities to make our own decisions, whether for good or ill.  But when we put our trust in God and seekHis will, then we will be able to discern the paths he has laid out for us.

When we are in communion with God by being in prayer and in the Word, he makes his desires known to us.  That doesn't mean we'll find the literal answer to our every question in the Bible.  But the Bible does contain guidelines for our life: Love God, love those around us, obey God, trust Him, have faith in Jesus Christ.  When we are putting those things first, the rest will fall into place.

I think the greatest comfort I take from this passage is knowing that God is active in my life, leading me to live as He wants me to.  Because the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts, we are constantly able to be obedient to God and His will.  He takes interest in our lives because of Jesus--because of what Jesus has done for us, we are children of God, and as a parent cares about every detail of their child's life, so God cares intimately for us.  Therefore, we can trust him, and put our lives securely in his hands.

How has God taught you to trust Him?  What is one way you can give your life over to Him today?  How do you take comfort from this passage, knowing that God loves you and is active in your life?

Linking with: Upward Not Inward, Deep Roots at Home, Raising Homemakers, We are THAT Family

*Concordia Self-Study Bible, NIV, Robert G. Hoerber, ed., emphasis added, p 950

What True Friendship Is

We all need friends.  I suppose there are those rare people who are content to live a completely solitary life, but I think it's safe to say that's not true for most people.

What does friendship--true friendship--look like?

Let's see what the Bible has to say.

Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loves at all times..."
Proverbs 18:24: "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you..." -Jesus, John 15:12-16b

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another...We love because he first loved us."  1 John 4:7-11, 19

Friendship is all about love--selfless love, agape love.  Real friendship, the kind Christ has shown us in choosing us, living for us, dying for us, is this kind of love.  We also show our friends the kind of love the Greeks called "Philia," a deep, friendly affection.

What does this mean?  How do we show this kind of friend-love?

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

That's what love is.  That's what it does, and what it doesn't do.
This is how God loves us, and how he has taught us to love one another.

Friendship love isn't mushy love.  The word "love" tends to be associated with romance.  But friendship love isn't like that.  It's steadfast, trusting, and unchanging.  It's the kind of love between people that lets them say, "I'm going to stick with you no matter what, I'll always have your back, and when you're being an idiot, I'll let you know."

I should point out that there are different kinds of friends.  There are kindred spirits, or friends of the heart--friends with whom you seem to have everything in common, friends who share your heart on all the most important things, friends you will have for all your life.  These are the rarer kind of friends.  Only a few of them may come into your life, but only a few are really needed.  These are the people you will always be able to count on, and even if you don't see them in person for a long time, you'll never lose touch.

Then there are those friends who we talk to at school, work, and church, people who we'll happily visit with over coffee, but people to whom we don't tell all our secrets.  These are great people to have in your life, and they can be a great blessing.

As a woman, I know how women think.  We make lots of connections, we like having a network of people we know.  (I'm also an extrovert, so I can't speak for introverts here.  Please give me some input in the comments!)  I used to have the habit of trying to cultivate a large group of close friends.  It's only been recently that I realized the value of just a few close friends, and remaining friendly with other people I know.

Perhaps you don't have any very close friends.  Maybe there isn't someone in your life who you can open your heart to.  Even if you're married, there are emotional needs that women have that can't be met by even the dearest man in our lives.  Girl friends are necessary whether you're young or middle-aged, married or single.  If you struggle with making friends, my heart aches for you.  I will be praying for you, that the Lord will bring a person in your life to meet those friendship needs!

I can suggest to you that to gain friends, you can work on being the kind of friend you'd like to have.
-Be intentional about getting together with people you know.  Make that phone call.  Set up a coffee date.
-Keep in touch with people you value.  Send an email or even a text or Facebook message.  If writing notes is your thing, drop a card in the mail.
-Frequent places where you can find like-minded people.  Join a Bible study for people in your demographic (if you're a mom, find a moms' Bible study at your church), volunteer at a place you really support, help out at your kids' school.  Do you like to work out?  Find a Curves or a Zumba class in your area.  Do you like to knit?  See if there is a knitting group that meets at a church or community center near you.
-Pray about it!  Even Jesus needed friends--although his friends weren't the kind of people his criticizers thought he would choose.  Jesus hung out with tax collectors, prostitutes and beggars (but I'm not suggesting that's exactly what you should do!).  God sees the desires of your heart, and he will answer your prayers (although he might not do it in the way you expect).

The bottom line is this: Our greatest and truest Friend is Jesus Christ.  He might not be physically present in a way that you can see and touch and hear him, but God is present in your life.  The Holy Spirit is everywhere, and if you are a baptized child of God, the Holy Spirit lives in your heart--closer than any person can get.  He knows your joys and sorrows, he understands your questions and fears.  He is there to give you peace and comfort and still your anxieties.  Never forget this, dear one.

"What a friend we have in Jesus,

all our sins and griefs to bear.

What a privilege to carry

everything to God in prayer!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pain we bear,

all because we do not carry

everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged--

take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful

who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness--

take it to the Lord in prayer."

Text, Joseph M. Scriven

source

Linking up, with thanks, to: Time-Warp Wife, Growing Home, Fancy Little Things

My Husband's Helper

In the first few days that this world existed, God looked at Adam, the human he had created, and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).

God had created many animals.  He brought them to Adam so that Adam could name them, and see if one of them would be a helper for him.  "But for Adam no suitable helper was found."

So God created the woman.


This was the helper suitable for the man.  This was the person with whom he would become "one flesh."  This was his perfect partner!

I'm smiling as I write this.  Because I know how twisted this truth has been.  "Women weren't created for men," some have said.  "We aren't supposed to take care of them.  They can take care of themselves!  Women should be able to do whatever they want, take care of their own lives, and not have to worry about men."

I beg to differ.

God created women to be the helpers of men.


This doesn't mean women are of any less importance than man!  On the contrary, Paul's words to the Galatians, inspired by the Holy Spirit, say this: "You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:26-28).

God created all human beings to be of equal worth in his sight.  We are all equally sinful and we are all equally saved and forgiven, and we are all equally loved by our Creator.

But we were created with different roles.


Men were created to take care of women, and women were created to be the helpers of men.
That doesn't make us weaker, although physically, most of us are.  But spiritually, emotionally, mentally, women are not weaker, they are just different!  Imagine how boring the world would be if women acted like men in everything, or vice-versa.

My role as a woman, as a wife, is to be my husband's helper.  The writer of Proverbs 31 said this about the "wife of noble character":

"A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."  -Proverbs 31:10-12

In what ways can I be my husband's helper, bringing him good, and not harm?

Surprisingly, it's not in ways I would expect.
Men consider help to be a different thing than women do.

For example, I thought it would be helpful if I placed mail, including bills, on my husband's desk so he would see them the first thing when he came home.  That way we would both know what was going on, we'd be on the same page, and there wouldn't be any confusion.
Well, my husband was already aware of the bills.  He didn't need that reminder when he came home from work tired and worn-out.  He knew what needed to be taken care of, but an unpleasant reminder like that was not helpful.
Some women might consider it helpful to rearrange their husband's dresser drawer, but their husband may well be frustrated to open his drawer and not know where everything is right away.
So what can I do to help my husband?  Here are a few things I've been learning:

1) Talk to him.  I'm no mind-reader, and although I can sometimes guess at what might be helpful for my husband, I've messed up enough times to know that my guesses aren't always correct.  So I ask my husband what he would like me to do, and in what ways I can be a helper for him.  This has included things like: let him sit quietly for a few minutes right when he comes home instead of bombarding him with talk right away; get his attention before telling him something important, especially if he's distracted; keep up with the laundry so he always has clean clothes to wear.

2) Listen to him.  This is almost more important than talking to him!  My husband has given me verbal hints in the past as to ways I could help him, and I wasn't paying attention so I missed them.  Men communicate in different ways than women do.  I need to be careful to pay closer attention when he talks so I can fully comprehend what he means, because I might not understand it in the way he wants me to.

3) Learn about him.  What are my husband's habits?  Does he need coffee before anything else in the morning?  Does he want to check his email as soon as he comes home?  Does he want a fresh towel in the bathroom every day?  Does he have a favorite food he would like to have once a week?  If I know what he usually does, I can predict ways that I can be helpful to him.
If he checks his email when he comes home every day, I can leave a love note on his computer to let him know I'm thinking of him--without getting in his face or talking to him too much.
If he's hungry when he comes home from work, I can have a snack out on the table already so he doesn't go digging in the fridge and eating tomorrow's supper.  (That's helpful for me, too!)
If he's running low on clean socks, I can do laundry today so he has clean clothes for tomorrow.

The ways a woman can be a helper to her man are as different as men are.  Talk to your husband.  Listen to him, and learn about him, so you can discover ways you can be his helper.

God created us women to have this role.  He will give us the strength, wisdom, and resources necessary to fill it to his glory and our husband's benefit.

What ways can you be a helper to your husband?  Share them in the comments!

Linking up:

Also linking up:  Raising Homemakers; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home; Deep Roots at Home; To Love, Honor and Vacuum; Women Living Well

The Proverbs 31 Woman: One of My Role Models

In chapter 31 of the book of Proverbs, King Lemuel describes "the wife of noble character."  Here are selected verses from that chapter:

10 A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lack nothing of value.  12 She bring him good, not harm, all the days of her life...15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family...17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks...20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy...23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land...25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

The first few times I read over this, it was a little overwhelming.  It's a lot to live up to!  This is pretty much the perfect woman!  And that's not even all the verses.  She makes clothes and linens, too, and is also a successful businesswoman.

I see this woman in some of the special women in my life.  My mother, most especially.  She takes that "getting up while it's still dark" thing literally.  :)  My mother has been an at-home mom since I was born.  Some people would look on that as being old-fashioned, that she's not standing up for her rights as a woman. I think it's the most noble profession she could have chosen, and the one that will reap the most rewards.  A Godly wife, mother, and homemaker is, I think, the highest goal a woman can aim for.  It's the goal I have in sight.  "Wife" is coming up in less than two months.  "Homemaker" too.  I can hardly wait.  :)

Anyway, back to this woman.  Actually, back to the GOD who makes her possible.  This woman is perfect; no one person could constantly do everything right.  But God makes it possible for us as women to be the best we can be, to do our very best at everything.  Being a wife, mother and homemaker is a vocation, that is, a calling from God.  As a wife, a woman supports and encourages and takes care of her husband, in myriad ways.  As a mother, a woman has the privilege and responsibility to (along with her husband) raise her children to be God-loving and God-honoring.  As a homemaker, a woman has the opportunity to share the love of Jesus with her family first of all, and every person she encounters.  (My mother is accomplishing all of this with beautiful, God-praising results.)

God has called women to be what they are (even if it's not as a wife or mother; don't get me wrong, that's not the only vocation God calls women to!).  I feel that he has called me to this vocation.  Therefore, he will give me the strength, the wisdom, the knowledge and the abilities to accomplish it--all to his glory.  Everything I do in my life, I want to do to praise and honor God.

Unfortunately, I very often fail at that.  I'm a sinful person, despite the best intentions.  I try hard every day to live a life that is pleasing to God, but many times a day I screw up, big time.  I sometimes get very discouraged and Satan plagues me with guilt.  No matter how hard I try, I still mess up!

The amazing thing is, the God who has called me to be what I am, at every stage in my life, understands the troubles and temptations I have.  He is there with me, even when I'm sinning.  Sometimes I can fight temptation, sometimes I succumb.  But God loves me just the same, no matter what.  He forgives me no matter how many times I mess up.  He gives me a new start every day.

So this becoming-a-wife-and-homemaker thing isn't about me, really.  It's about God, working in my life and in the lives of those around me.  It's about him giving me some new jobs in which I can praise, serve and honor him.

Trusting Him

God has been teaching me a lot about trust the last few days.  Apparently it's a lesson I need to learn.  I have opportunities where I can choose to be trusting or to doubt that God will take care of things.  He has taken care of things whether I'm trusting him or not.  This proves, once again, how faithful God is despite my fickleness.  My fiancée, too, is loving and patient even as I am learning to trust him and in so doing to trust God to take care of both of us.

Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."  I like the picture of leaning on God, instead of myself.  Physically, it's rather hard to lean on ourselves.  If we tried, we'd fall over and look pretty silly.  But God is there, ready and waiting for us to lean on him, because he wants to hold us up.  When we look to him for direction, he will point us to the path he already has marked out for us.  He will lead us in the way to go.

As a somewhat related side note, just a few verses later on in Proverbs it reads this: "Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine" (3:9-10).  When we trust God with our money and possessions, giving back to him part of what he has given us, he will bless us even more.  Tithing is part of trusting God.

David writes in Psalm 56, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.  What can mortal man do to me?"  When David wrote this, he was in serious danger; the Philistines had seized him and his life was in jeopardy.  Even in this most desperate of situations, he wrote this Psalm, demonstrating his neverfailing trust in God.  He was right to do so, and correct in what he said: When we trust God, no one can do anything to really hurt us.  Our bodies are mortal, yes, but our spirits are untouchable by anything Satan could try.

That brings me back again to the idea of being eternally-minded.  When we look at the big picture, instead of selfishly considering just our own lives, it should be much easier to trust God because we realize that he has a plan far bigger than we are, and more all-encompassing than we could imagine.  We're part of that plan, though.  Jeremiah 29:11 states, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  We can trust God because he has plans for our futures: plans to give us hope.  We can trust that.

A wonderful old hymn, "I am Trusting Thee, Lord Jesus," says this (just select verses):
1. I am trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
Trusting only Thee;
Trusting Thee for full salvation,
Great and free.

4. I am trusting Thee to guide me;
Thou alone shalt lead,
Ev'ry day and hour supplying
All my need.

5. I am trusting Thee for power;
Thine can never fail.
Words which Thou Thyself shalt give me
Must prevail.

6. I am trusting Thee, Lord Jesus;
Never let me fall.
I am trusting Thee forever
And for all.


Today, I am going to work on learning to trust God, knowing that he has me and my life in his hands.

Made by Him: Psalm 119:73-80

Today I'm sitting in the computer lab in the library, with just a few minutes before I have a handbells rehearsal.  It's a busy day, but I wanted to take a few minutes to read today's passage and reflect on it.

The very first verse of this passage caught my eye right away!  Here's the whole passage:

⁷³ Your hands made me and formed me;
   give me understanding to learn your commands.⁷⁴ May those who fear you rejoice when they see me,
   for I have put my hope in your word.
⁷⁵ I know, LORD, that your laws are righteous,
   and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
⁷⁶ May your unfailing love be my comfort,
   according to your promise to your servant. ⁷⁷ Let your compassion come to me that I may live,
   for your law is my delight.
⁷⁸ May the arrogant be put to shame for wronging me without cause;
   but I will meditate on your precepts.
⁷⁹ May those who fear you turn to me,
   those who understand your statutes.
⁸⁰ May I wholeheartedly follow your decrees,
   that I may not be put to shame.

I was made and formed by God's hands!!  That is so exciting!  Just imagine, God who is all good (see yesterday's post) made ME.  And he made YOU, and everyone else in the world!  Because he made us, he gives us all things, including understanding to learn his commands.

There are two verses in this passage that begin "May those who fear you" (see Proverbs 1:7).  Those who fear God are those who love and trust in him above all things, who know that he's God and they aren't.  The psalmist is asking to be an example to other believers.  I pray that I can be as well.

Verse 76 is my favorite: God's unfailing love is my comfort, because he has promised it to me!  At a time like right now when I'm so busy, it's so encouragaging to know that I'm loved unfailingly by the God who made and formed me.

That's what I'm going to remember today.