Sometimes writing a "Thankful Thursday" post is kind of hard.
Do I make a list of things I'm thankful for?
Or do I pick one thing and expound on that?
This is a good problem to have. :)
I have realized the last few days how much my husband's love for me is like God's love for me (and all his children). {See the last point of yesterday's post for why marriage is supposed to be like that!}
My husband loves me even when I'm unlovable. No, he doesn't love me perfectly (only God can do that!), but he still takes care of me, he still does sweet things for me, he still listens to me even when I'm being crabby or disrespectful or if I'm hormonal (which he does NOT deserve).
He forgives me for everything. We have a hard time holding grudges around here (because who can stay mad at your best friend for long, especially if they're handsome and hilarious like my husband? :D ). In the same way, God constantly forgives me for everything I do wrong--all because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.
My husband sees beauty in me even when I can't see it in myself. I got about six inches cut off my hair last week (thanks Mom!) and Joshua keeps playing with it and admiring it. He is always telling me I'm beautiful even when I know my hair is greasy and I have a breakout on my face and my breath is horrible. I know that God, my Creator, thinks I'm beautiful, too...just because he made me. Not because of anything I've done.
My husband encourages me spiritually and in my faith. Now, of course, God is the source of my faith, and that's something Joshua won't ever be, but he definitely fills the role of spiritual leader. He prays for us several times every day. It was his idea to have devotions every morning and pray together in the evenings. He reminds me to keep trusting God even when I have a hard time doing so. And oh, the wonderful talks we have about our faith, and who God is, and what it means to be a Christian.
So today, I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful that he helps me understand better who God is. I'm thankful for his spiritual role in our home. I'm so very thankful for God's love, forgiveness and understanding, and most of all for the faith that he has given me.
Linking up today with these lovely ladies:
Passionate and Creative Homemaking; The Fontenot Four; black tag diaries; Kate Says Stuff; First Day of My Life; Live Called
Showing posts with label walk with God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label walk with God. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Lavish Grace of God
One of the Scripture readings in church on Sunday was Ephesians 1:3-14. A professor from our university (which is right across the street from church) had the message. Pastor Groth is one of Joshua's and my favorite professors, and this sermon was almost like a class session...I was even taking notes!
This passage in Ephesians is one I have read before, but I gained so much insight into it on Sunday, and it connected with other things God has been teaching me (see this post on God's purpose, this post on faith, and this post on God's promises that I've written in the last week).
This is the first part of the Ephesians passage:
1) God "has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places." EVERY spiritual blessing! God's grace is abundant.
2) Nothing that God does happens except in and through Christ. God has blessed us in Christ. He has chosen us in Christ. He predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ. He has blessed us with "his glorious grace" in "the Beloved," Jesus. In Jesus we have redemption. God set forth his purpose in Christ (that's in verse 9, not quoted above). In Christ "we have obtained an inheritance," that is, eternal life.
3) We did not choose God. He chose us! How can a child choose to be born? God chose us before the foundation of the world. That's thousands of years before we were born--or even thought of by our parents! God knew us from that time on, and he chose us to be his.
4) Faith is pure gift. We didn't ask for it. God chose us to know him--we didn't ask to know him. He chose us to be redeemed and forgiven. It's all by "the riches of his grace," not by our own doing, or by anything we deserve.
5) The reason we are God's children is to serve him. He chose us "according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace." God has done millions of amazing things. He deserves for his glory and grace to be praised! That's what our lives are all about.
6) Our relationship with God is not up to us. We can stop worrying about our relationship with God, Pastor Groth said, because it doesn't depend on us. God has what it takes to keep us believing in him. He has us in his hands now, and he's not going to let us go. Also, we should stop trying to take credit for anything in our spiritual lives. If it wasn't for God, we wouldn't be able to do anything that pleases him. As it is, all we can do is thank him for the faith he has placed in our hearts, and thank him for helping us live a life that pleases him.
The rest of the passage from Sunday includes so many more wonderful things. It also includes tricky things like predestination, which I'm not going to try to explain today because I know not all of my readers share my Missouri Synod Lutheran theology (and that's absolutely fine!!). Also, once I actually complete my theology and English degrees, I'll be much better equipped to write about such things. :) For now, just read the Scripture passage yourself!
I do hope you take this from what I have been learning: God blesses us lavishly. He does everything through his Son Jesus Christ. God chose us, we did not choose him, and he did it before the creation of the world. Our faith is not dependent upon us. God has called us as his children to serve, praise and glorify him. And finally, we don't need to worry about our faith: it's in God's hands.
Linking up today:
New Life Steward; The Fontenot Four; Raising Homemakers; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home; Deep Roots at Home; Women Living Well; Live Called
This passage in Ephesians is one I have read before, but I gained so much insight into it on Sunday, and it connected with other things God has been teaching me (see this post on God's purpose, this post on faith, and this post on God's promises that I've written in the last week).
This is the first part of the Ephesians passage:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us..." (Ephesians 1:3-8)There is SO much in this passage!
1) God "has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places." EVERY spiritual blessing! God's grace is abundant.
2) Nothing that God does happens except in and through Christ. God has blessed us in Christ. He has chosen us in Christ. He predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ. He has blessed us with "his glorious grace" in "the Beloved," Jesus. In Jesus we have redemption. God set forth his purpose in Christ (that's in verse 9, not quoted above). In Christ "we have obtained an inheritance," that is, eternal life.
3) We did not choose God. He chose us! How can a child choose to be born? God chose us before the foundation of the world. That's thousands of years before we were born--or even thought of by our parents! God knew us from that time on, and he chose us to be his.
4) Faith is pure gift. We didn't ask for it. God chose us to know him--we didn't ask to know him. He chose us to be redeemed and forgiven. It's all by "the riches of his grace," not by our own doing, or by anything we deserve.
5) The reason we are God's children is to serve him. He chose us "according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace." God has done millions of amazing things. He deserves for his glory and grace to be praised! That's what our lives are all about.
6) Our relationship with God is not up to us. We can stop worrying about our relationship with God, Pastor Groth said, because it doesn't depend on us. God has what it takes to keep us believing in him. He has us in his hands now, and he's not going to let us go. Also, we should stop trying to take credit for anything in our spiritual lives. If it wasn't for God, we wouldn't be able to do anything that pleases him. As it is, all we can do is thank him for the faith he has placed in our hearts, and thank him for helping us live a life that pleases him.
The rest of the passage from Sunday includes so many more wonderful things. It also includes tricky things like predestination, which I'm not going to try to explain today because I know not all of my readers share my Missouri Synod Lutheran theology (and that's absolutely fine!!). Also, once I actually complete my theology and English degrees, I'll be much better equipped to write about such things. :) For now, just read the Scripture passage yourself!
I do hope you take this from what I have been learning: God blesses us lavishly. He does everything through his Son Jesus Christ. God chose us, we did not choose him, and he did it before the creation of the world. Our faith is not dependent upon us. God has called us as his children to serve, praise and glorify him. And finally, we don't need to worry about our faith: it's in God's hands.
Linking up today:
New Life Steward; The Fontenot Four; Raising Homemakers; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home; Deep Roots at Home; Women Living Well; Live Called
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
God Calls the Unlikeliest of Servants
The book of Judges is one of the most exciting books of the Bible, in my opinion. It's full of battles, bravery, and unlikely heroes. And more importantly, it contains stories about God's righteous judgment, His mercy, and forgiveness.
Many chapters in the book begin with the phrase, "Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord..." Over and over God's people turned away from Him and worshiped the false gods of the people in whose land they were living. Over and over God gave the people over to their enemies because they had abandoned Him. Again and again the people pleaded with God to rescue them, so He sent people to care for them, rescue them from their enemies, and lead them into victorious battles.
Only when God was in charge of the Israelites did they win those battles. And God almost always chose the unlikeliest of people to lead Israel. One of those people was Gideon. He, his family and their people were in a desperate situation. The Midianites had taken over their land, destroyed all their crops and livestock, and forced Israel to flee to caves and hideouts in the mountains for refuge. Israel was so afraid of Midian that when Gideon, the youngest of his father's sons, was given the job of threshing wheat, he had to do it in a winepress in order to not be seen by the Midianites (Judges 6:1-11).
It was this man, who had lost almost everything and living in constant fear, who God called to lead His people.
Gideon was reluctant. He protested that he was too young and weak. He asked where God had been, why He had abandoned His people to Midian (Judges 6:13-15).
God was patient. He reassured Gideon. He gave him instructions, and God also gave Gideon proof and signs that God would do what He had promised. He would save Israel.
And he did. Gideon gathered thirty-two thousand men from the tribes of Israel. In order to make clear that God would save them, not Gideon, God instructed Gideon to pare down the army from the thirty-two thousand, to twenty-two thousand, to three hundred men. Those three hundred were the men God used to rescue Israel from the Midianites.
(The battle story is an exciting one. To read the whole thing, go to Judges chapter seven!)
Gideon and the Israelites are not unlike many believers in God today. We often ignore His laws, and then question God as to why He has abandoned us--when it is not He who has left us, but we who have left Him. Then, when he calls us to serve him, we protest that we are unable, that we need more proof from God that this is really what he wants us to do.
This is exactly what Israel did, and it is exactly what I see myself doing.
I don't always obey God. Then, when I have troubles, I wonder why He's not getting me out of them. It's not that He's turned away from me. It's I who have turned away from Him!
He is gracious, and He still calls me his child. He still has work for me to do. But I question whether or not I can do it.
I'm just a young woman. I don't have much experience in anything. I don't have money to travel anywhere to share the Gospel. I'm not that good of a writer. I fail all the time as a wife.
I protest and find excuses why I'm not qualified to serve God.
Why do I think it's all about me?
God doesn't need me. He has chosen me to serve Him, and to help fulfill His purposes.
He doesn't rely on MY strength to fulfill His will. He gives me HIS strength!
No, Gideon wasn't qualified.
I'm not either.
But that doesn't matter to God. We don't get in His way.
He gives us jobs to do, and then He gives us the means to do them.
All He does is ask that we are obedient. That we listen to Him, and follow His calling.
And we can have faith that He will do what He has promised.
God will take care of us. He will provide for us. It will not always be in the way we imagine. But it will be in the way that God knows is best, and that will bring Him glory.
Have you ever heard this phrase:
"God doesn't call the equipped. He equips those He calls."
That was true for Gideon.
It is true for me.
AND it is true for you.
God has a plan for you. You are someone He has chosen to help carry out His purposes. Whatever He calls you to do, He will enable you to do it.
He is big, almighty, eternal, and all-powerful. We can trust that He will keep His promises...just like he did for Gideon.
Linking with:
Many chapters in the book begin with the phrase, "Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord..." Over and over God's people turned away from Him and worshiped the false gods of the people in whose land they were living. Over and over God gave the people over to their enemies because they had abandoned Him. Again and again the people pleaded with God to rescue them, so He sent people to care for them, rescue them from their enemies, and lead them into victorious battles.
Only when God was in charge of the Israelites did they win those battles. And God almost always chose the unlikeliest of people to lead Israel. One of those people was Gideon. He, his family and their people were in a desperate situation. The Midianites had taken over their land, destroyed all their crops and livestock, and forced Israel to flee to caves and hideouts in the mountains for refuge. Israel was so afraid of Midian that when Gideon, the youngest of his father's sons, was given the job of threshing wheat, he had to do it in a winepress in order to not be seen by the Midianites (Judges 6:1-11).
It was this man, who had lost almost everything and living in constant fear, who God called to lead His people.
Gideon was reluctant. He protested that he was too young and weak. He asked where God had been, why He had abandoned His people to Midian (Judges 6:13-15).
God was patient. He reassured Gideon. He gave him instructions, and God also gave Gideon proof and signs that God would do what He had promised. He would save Israel.
And he did. Gideon gathered thirty-two thousand men from the tribes of Israel. In order to make clear that God would save them, not Gideon, God instructed Gideon to pare down the army from the thirty-two thousand, to twenty-two thousand, to three hundred men. Those three hundred were the men God used to rescue Israel from the Midianites.
(The battle story is an exciting one. To read the whole thing, go to Judges chapter seven!)
Gideon and the Israelites are not unlike many believers in God today. We often ignore His laws, and then question God as to why He has abandoned us--when it is not He who has left us, but we who have left Him. Then, when he calls us to serve him, we protest that we are unable, that we need more proof from God that this is really what he wants us to do.
This is exactly what Israel did, and it is exactly what I see myself doing.
I don't always obey God. Then, when I have troubles, I wonder why He's not getting me out of them. It's not that He's turned away from me. It's I who have turned away from Him!
He is gracious, and He still calls me his child. He still has work for me to do. But I question whether or not I can do it.
I'm just a young woman. I don't have much experience in anything. I don't have money to travel anywhere to share the Gospel. I'm not that good of a writer. I fail all the time as a wife.
I protest and find excuses why I'm not qualified to serve God.
Why do I think it's all about me?
God doesn't need me. He has chosen me to serve Him, and to help fulfill His purposes.
He doesn't rely on MY strength to fulfill His will. He gives me HIS strength!
No, Gideon wasn't qualified.
I'm not either.
But that doesn't matter to God. We don't get in His way.
He gives us jobs to do, and then He gives us the means to do them.
All He does is ask that we are obedient. That we listen to Him, and follow His calling.
And we can have faith that He will do what He has promised.
God will take care of us. He will provide for us. It will not always be in the way we imagine. But it will be in the way that God knows is best, and that will bring Him glory.
Have you ever heard this phrase:
"God doesn't call the equipped. He equips those He calls."
That was true for Gideon.
It is true for me.
AND it is true for you.
God has a plan for you. You are someone He has chosen to help carry out His purposes. Whatever He calls you to do, He will enable you to do it.
He is big, almighty, eternal, and all-powerful. We can trust that He will keep His promises...just like he did for Gideon.
Linking with:
Monday, July 9, 2012
Focusing on My Husband
Distractions abound in our society of short attention spans and constant busyness. We're distracted from working, from resting,being with our family, our job. With a constant flow of information available, it's easy to check our email, or Facebook, send a tweet, or read a blog post. I know that those and other things are my distractions. I'm often distracted from housework, my Bible reading, my to-do list, and...from my husband.
(I'm coming at this with the assumption that my readers are in a mostly healthy, Christian marriage. I realize that there are exceptions. But this is the situation with which I have experience, so it is the situation about which I write.)
What distracts us?
Media. I'm quite aware of the recent craze and hype surrounding "50 Shades of Gray" and "Magic Mike." {No, don't look for a post from me about either one. I haven't done a lot of research into either, but I've learned enough to know that I will not be reading or watching them.} These and other media provide a huge distraction to women. Even seemingly "tame" romance movies (many of which I really enjoy!) can be distracting. I think the biggest reason for this is that they present an idealized picture of marriage, sex, and romantic relationships. We wonder why our marriage/sex/relationship can't be like the one we see on the screen or read about on the page. This turns our focus onto a fantasy instead of onto our husband.
Other men. Do we allow our eyes--and our thoughts--to wander? For women, who are not as visually stimulated as men, seeing other attractive men isn't always a big problem, although it can be. Looking at other men and thinking about them sexually is wrong. Jesus said that "anyone who looks at a woman (or man) lustfully has already committed adultery with her (him) in his (her) heart" (Matthew 8:28). Plain and simple. However, we women can also be distracted by reading or hearing about a man different from our husband. This can encourage thoughts such as, "Why didn't my husband do this-or-that the way this other man did? Why can't my husband be like this? Doesn't he know this about women like that other man does?"
Negativity. Do we focus only on our husband's bad qualities? This connects with the previous point. If we're always negatively comparing our husband to other men, we're going to be very distracted from the good qualities our husband has--and he DOES have them!
Our own selves and lives. Are we so focused on our housework/children/job/whatever that we (often unknowingly) lose sight of our husband, who should be our first priority (after God)? I know that this is the one I struggle with the most. I often get so caught up in making good meals, keeping a clean house, and my jobs outside the home that I forget how much my husband appreciates it when I spend time with him, not necessarily doing things for him.
Your marriage is JUST you and your husband! Nothing and no one else (except God, who should be the center of your marriage!) should infiltrate your marriage. Period. No real or imaginary person, movie, book, celebrity, pornography, or anything else, should ever come between you and your spouse. When God created marriage, he said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Marriage is one man and one woman united by God to be one flesh. Nothing else is part of that equation.
Honor your marriage and keep your married sexuality pure. This connects with the above point. The writer to the Hebrews said, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). Sex within marriage is a beautiful, wondrous thing, when it is kept between the husband and wife. Focus on your husband, and only him, when it comes to sex.
Think about the good things! Paul wrote to the Philippians, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" (Philippians 4:8). Look for the good in your husband! And tell him what you find praiseworthy in him. Look for the true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable in your marriage. Banish thoughts from your head that don't fall into those categories. Throw out the false, worthless, wrong, impure, and ugly from your relationship. Let God be the center of your marriage. Let the Holy Spirit fill both of you. Where God is, there is the good, true and beautiful. Let Him be the Lord of your thoughts, your marriage, and your lives.
Look for ways to bring your husband honor. In Proverbs 31, we read of "the wife of noble character." "Her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life" (verses 11, 12). "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land" (23). "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all'" (28, 29). How can we, as a wife, bring respect, good, and praise to our husbands? When we actively seek ways to do this, we will be focused positively on them.
Let me say once again that God should always be our highest priority. Nothing should ever become more important than He is in our lives. However, immediately after God should come our husbands. Our marriage is our most important earthly relationship, and when our relationship with God and with our spouse is on the right track, the others will follow.
This is not an exhaustive list of suggestions by any means. They are building blocks upon which to build a foundation of positive focus on our husbands. And I will be going back to this myself as a reminder that I need every day!
How can you focus on your husband? Do you have ideas to share that have worked for you?
Linking with:
Far Above Rubies; Thankful Homemaker; Time-Warp Wife; Cornerstone Confessions; Lessons from Ivy
In a world full of distractions, it is way too easy for our priorities to get out of whack. Are we keeping God first and foremost, and then focusing on our spouse? What distracts us? How can we keep focused?
(I'm coming at this with the assumption that my readers are in a mostly healthy, Christian marriage. I realize that there are exceptions. But this is the situation with which I have experience, so it is the situation about which I write.)
What distracts us?
Media. I'm quite aware of the recent craze and hype surrounding "50 Shades of Gray" and "Magic Mike." {No, don't look for a post from me about either one. I haven't done a lot of research into either, but I've learned enough to know that I will not be reading or watching them.} These and other media provide a huge distraction to women. Even seemingly "tame" romance movies (many of which I really enjoy!) can be distracting. I think the biggest reason for this is that they present an idealized picture of marriage, sex, and romantic relationships. We wonder why our marriage/sex/relationship can't be like the one we see on the screen or read about on the page. This turns our focus onto a fantasy instead of onto our husband.
Other men. Do we allow our eyes--and our thoughts--to wander? For women, who are not as visually stimulated as men, seeing other attractive men isn't always a big problem, although it can be. Looking at other men and thinking about them sexually is wrong. Jesus said that "anyone who looks at a woman (or man) lustfully has already committed adultery with her (him) in his (her) heart" (Matthew 8:28). Plain and simple. However, we women can also be distracted by reading or hearing about a man different from our husband. This can encourage thoughts such as, "Why didn't my husband do this-or-that the way this other man did? Why can't my husband be like this? Doesn't he know this about women like that other man does?"
Negativity. Do we focus only on our husband's bad qualities? This connects with the previous point. If we're always negatively comparing our husband to other men, we're going to be very distracted from the good qualities our husband has--and he DOES have them!
Our own selves and lives. Are we so focused on our housework/children/job/whatever that we (often unknowingly) lose sight of our husband, who should be our first priority (after God)? I know that this is the one I struggle with the most. I often get so caught up in making good meals, keeping a clean house, and my jobs outside the home that I forget how much my husband appreciates it when I spend time with him, not necessarily doing things for him.
So how do we focus on our husbands?
When we are constantly surrounded by distractions, we are going to have to FIGHT to keep our husbands at the very top of our priority list!! Satan will do everything he can to get in our way. But God's Word is our greatest weapon against Satan's attacks and our greatest tool to help make our marriage work!Your marriage is JUST you and your husband! Nothing and no one else (except God, who should be the center of your marriage!) should infiltrate your marriage. Period. No real or imaginary person, movie, book, celebrity, pornography, or anything else, should ever come between you and your spouse. When God created marriage, he said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Marriage is one man and one woman united by God to be one flesh. Nothing else is part of that equation.
Honor your marriage and keep your married sexuality pure. This connects with the above point. The writer to the Hebrews said, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). Sex within marriage is a beautiful, wondrous thing, when it is kept between the husband and wife. Focus on your husband, and only him, when it comes to sex.
Think about the good things! Paul wrote to the Philippians, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" (Philippians 4:8). Look for the good in your husband! And tell him what you find praiseworthy in him. Look for the true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable in your marriage. Banish thoughts from your head that don't fall into those categories. Throw out the false, worthless, wrong, impure, and ugly from your relationship. Let God be the center of your marriage. Let the Holy Spirit fill both of you. Where God is, there is the good, true and beautiful. Let Him be the Lord of your thoughts, your marriage, and your lives.
Look for ways to bring your husband honor. In Proverbs 31, we read of "the wife of noble character." "Her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life" (verses 11, 12). "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land" (23). "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all'" (28, 29). How can we, as a wife, bring respect, good, and praise to our husbands? When we actively seek ways to do this, we will be focused positively on them.
Let me say once again that God should always be our highest priority. Nothing should ever become more important than He is in our lives. However, immediately after God should come our husbands. Our marriage is our most important earthly relationship, and when our relationship with God and with our spouse is on the right track, the others will follow.
This is not an exhaustive list of suggestions by any means. They are building blocks upon which to build a foundation of positive focus on our husbands. And I will be going back to this myself as a reminder that I need every day!
How can you focus on your husband? Do you have ideas to share that have worked for you?
Linking with:
Far Above Rubies; Thankful Homemaker; Time-Warp Wife; Cornerstone Confessions; Lessons from Ivy
Friday, July 6, 2012
the lies Satan tells {and then there's the Truth}
You can never get anything right.
You will never be good enough.
You are a failure...as a wife, a homemaker, a daughter, a sister, a friend.
You are miserable. You are pathetic. You are weak.
You don't deserve any good thing. You don't deserve to be loved.
These are the lies Satan tells me.
These are the words that sometimes fill my head.
This is how Satan gets past the truth.
This is how he twists reality.
Yes, I am a sinner...
but I am also a child of God, saved by the grace of Jesus Christ.
No, I will never be good enough--on my own--
but that's why Jesus was good enough--PERFECT--in my place.
So that I wouldn't have to be.
No, I can't do everything right--by myself--
but that's why the Holy Spirit lives in my heart.
So He can help me live a life that honors God.
Yes, I will mess up. A lot.
But I am forgiven because of Jesus Christ, who lived, died, and rose again
so that I could have eternal life.
No one is perfect. No one can, on their own power, live a life that pleases God.
That's why we need Jesus.
That's why God sent Jesus, his only Son, into our sinful world--
to save us from Satan, from sin, from death, and from our own sinful natures.
Now, because of Christ, we are new creations. We are pure, holy, redeemed.
And we have the promise of eternal life.
Jesus said to the people who did not believe in him,
Who shall I believe?
Who will you believe?
You will never be good enough.
You are a failure...as a wife, a homemaker, a daughter, a sister, a friend.
You are miserable. You are pathetic. You are weak.
You don't deserve any good thing. You don't deserve to be loved.
These are the lies Satan tells me.
These are the words that sometimes fill my head.
This is how Satan gets past the truth.
This is how he twists reality.
Yes, I am a sinner...
but I am also a child of God, saved by the grace of Jesus Christ.
No, I will never be good enough--on my own--
but that's why Jesus was good enough--PERFECT--in my place.
So that I wouldn't have to be.
No, I can't do everything right--by myself--
but that's why the Holy Spirit lives in my heart.
So He can help me live a life that honors God.
Yes, I will mess up. A lot.
But I am forgiven because of Jesus Christ, who lived, died, and rose again
so that I could have eternal life.
No one is perfect. No one can, on their own power, live a life that pleases God.
That's why we need Jesus.
That's why God sent Jesus, his only Son, into our sinful world--
to save us from Satan, from sin, from death, and from our own sinful natures.
Now, because of Christ, we are new creations. We are pure, holy, redeemed.
And we have the promise of eternal life.
Jesus said to the people who did not believe in him,
"You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lied, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." -John 8:44Jesus said to those who did believe in him,
"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." -John 8:31-32Later, Jesus said to his disciples,
"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." -John 14:6Satan is the father of lies. Jesus is the Truth.
Who shall I believe?
Who will you believe?
(Growing up, I had an old portable tape player on which I listened to cassette tapes--I'm just old enough to have not heard of CD's when I was really little. My favorite tape was an old "Best of Amy Grant," and this was my favorite song on it. That tape is so worn-out now that it hardly plays properly--but the song is as great now as it was then. Also of note is the pianist in this video. Do you recognize him? It's a very young Michael W. Smith!)
Monday, July 2, 2012
My Husband's Helper
In the first few days that this world existed, God looked at Adam, the human he had created, and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).
God had created many animals. He brought them to Adam so that Adam could name them, and see if one of them would be a helper for him. "But for Adam no suitable helper was found."
So God created the woman.
This was the helper suitable for the man. This was the person with whom he would become "one flesh." This was his perfect partner!
I'm smiling as I write this. Because I know how twisted this truth has been. "Women weren't created for men," some have said. "We aren't supposed to take care of them. They can take care of themselves! Women should be able to do whatever they want, take care of their own lives, and not have to worry about men."
I beg to differ.
God created women to be the helpers of men.
This doesn't mean women are of any less importance than man! On the contrary, Paul's words to the Galatians, inspired by the Holy Spirit, say this: "You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:26-28).
God created all human beings to be of equal worth in his sight. We are all equally sinful and we are all equally saved and forgiven, and we are all equally loved by our Creator.
But we were created with different roles.
Men were created to take care of women, and women were created to be the helpers of men.
That doesn't make us weaker, although physically, most of us are. But spiritually, emotionally, mentally, women are not weaker, they are just different! Imagine how boring the world would be if women acted like men in everything, or vice-versa.
My role as a woman, as a wife, is to be my husband's helper. The writer of Proverbs 31 said this about the "wife of noble character":
Surprisingly, it's not in ways I would expect.
Men consider help to be a different thing than women do.
For example, I thought it would be helpful if I placed mail, including bills, on my husband's desk so he would see them the first thing when he came home. That way we would both know what was going on, we'd be on the same page, and there wouldn't be any confusion.
Well, my husband was already aware of the bills. He didn't need that reminder when he came home from work tired and worn-out. He knew what needed to be taken care of, but an unpleasant reminder like that was not helpful.
Some women might consider it helpful to rearrange their husband's dresser drawer, but their husband may well be frustrated to open his drawer and not know where everything is right away.
So what can I do to help my husband? Here are a few things I've been learning:
1) Talk to him. I'm no mind-reader, and although I can sometimes guess at what might be helpful for my husband, I've messed up enough times to know that my guesses aren't always correct. So I ask my husband what he would like me to do, and in what ways I can be a helper for him. This has included things like: let him sit quietly for a few minutes right when he comes home instead of bombarding him with talk right away; get his attention before telling him something important, especially if he's distracted; keep up with the laundry so he always has clean clothes to wear.
2) Listen to him. This is almost more important than talking to him! My husband has given me verbal hints in the past as to ways I could help him, and I wasn't paying attention so I missed them. Men communicate in different ways than women do. I need to be careful to pay closer attention when he talks so I can fully comprehend what he means, because I might not understand it in the way he wants me to.
3) Learn about him. What are my husband's habits? Does he need coffee before anything else in the morning? Does he want to check his email as soon as he comes home? Does he want a fresh towel in the bathroom every day? Does he have a favorite food he would like to have once a week? If I know what he usually does, I can predict ways that I can be helpful to him.
If he checks his email when he comes home every day, I can leave a love note on his computer to let him know I'm thinking of him--without getting in his face or talking to him too much.
If he's hungry when he comes home from work, I can have a snack out on the table already so he doesn't go digging in the fridge and eating tomorrow's supper. (That's helpful for me, too!)
If he's running low on clean socks, I can do laundry today so he has clean clothes for tomorrow.
The ways a woman can be a helper to her man are as different as men are. Talk to your husband. Listen to him, and learn about him, so you can discover ways you can be his helper.
God created us women to have this role. He will give us the strength, wisdom, and resources necessary to fill it to his glory and our husband's benefit.
What ways can you be a helper to your husband? Share them in the comments!
Linking up:
Also linking up: Raising Homemakers; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home; Deep Roots at Home; To Love, Honor and Vacuum; Women Living Well
God had created many animals. He brought them to Adam so that Adam could name them, and see if one of them would be a helper for him. "But for Adam no suitable helper was found."
So God created the woman.
This was the helper suitable for the man. This was the person with whom he would become "one flesh." This was his perfect partner!
I'm smiling as I write this. Because I know how twisted this truth has been. "Women weren't created for men," some have said. "We aren't supposed to take care of them. They can take care of themselves! Women should be able to do whatever they want, take care of their own lives, and not have to worry about men."
I beg to differ.
God created women to be the helpers of men.
This doesn't mean women are of any less importance than man! On the contrary, Paul's words to the Galatians, inspired by the Holy Spirit, say this: "You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:26-28).
God created all human beings to be of equal worth in his sight. We are all equally sinful and we are all equally saved and forgiven, and we are all equally loved by our Creator.
But we were created with different roles.
Men were created to take care of women, and women were created to be the helpers of men.
That doesn't make us weaker, although physically, most of us are. But spiritually, emotionally, mentally, women are not weaker, they are just different! Imagine how boring the world would be if women acted like men in everything, or vice-versa.
My role as a woman, as a wife, is to be my husband's helper. The writer of Proverbs 31 said this about the "wife of noble character":
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." -Proverbs 31:10-12In what ways can I be my husband's helper, bringing him good, and not harm?
Surprisingly, it's not in ways I would expect.
Men consider help to be a different thing than women do.
For example, I thought it would be helpful if I placed mail, including bills, on my husband's desk so he would see them the first thing when he came home. That way we would both know what was going on, we'd be on the same page, and there wouldn't be any confusion.
Well, my husband was already aware of the bills. He didn't need that reminder when he came home from work tired and worn-out. He knew what needed to be taken care of, but an unpleasant reminder like that was not helpful.
Some women might consider it helpful to rearrange their husband's dresser drawer, but their husband may well be frustrated to open his drawer and not know where everything is right away.
So what can I do to help my husband? Here are a few things I've been learning:
1) Talk to him. I'm no mind-reader, and although I can sometimes guess at what might be helpful for my husband, I've messed up enough times to know that my guesses aren't always correct. So I ask my husband what he would like me to do, and in what ways I can be a helper for him. This has included things like: let him sit quietly for a few minutes right when he comes home instead of bombarding him with talk right away; get his attention before telling him something important, especially if he's distracted; keep up with the laundry so he always has clean clothes to wear.
2) Listen to him. This is almost more important than talking to him! My husband has given me verbal hints in the past as to ways I could help him, and I wasn't paying attention so I missed them. Men communicate in different ways than women do. I need to be careful to pay closer attention when he talks so I can fully comprehend what he means, because I might not understand it in the way he wants me to.
3) Learn about him. What are my husband's habits? Does he need coffee before anything else in the morning? Does he want to check his email as soon as he comes home? Does he want a fresh towel in the bathroom every day? Does he have a favorite food he would like to have once a week? If I know what he usually does, I can predict ways that I can be helpful to him.
If he checks his email when he comes home every day, I can leave a love note on his computer to let him know I'm thinking of him--without getting in his face or talking to him too much.
If he's hungry when he comes home from work, I can have a snack out on the table already so he doesn't go digging in the fridge and eating tomorrow's supper. (That's helpful for me, too!)
If he's running low on clean socks, I can do laundry today so he has clean clothes for tomorrow.
The ways a woman can be a helper to her man are as different as men are. Talk to your husband. Listen to him, and learn about him, so you can discover ways you can be his helper.
God created us women to have this role. He will give us the strength, wisdom, and resources necessary to fill it to his glory and our husband's benefit.
What ways can you be a helper to your husband? Share them in the comments!
Linking up:
Also linking up: Raising Homemakers; A Wise Woman Builds Her Home; Deep Roots at Home; To Love, Honor and Vacuum; Women Living Well
Monday, June 25, 2012
What is Truth?
"What is truth?"
It is the question Pilate asked Jesus, just hours before Jesus' crucifixion (John 18:38).
Jesus had just said to him, "In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."
"Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."
Well, but what is truth? Who defines it?
Is truth what we make of it? Is it whatever we choose? You have your truth, and I have mine, and we'll all get along.
Well, but maybe my truth is different from yours. Maybe my truth says that nothing you say is true.
But what if your truth says that nothing I say is true? What then?
We need something that defines truth. Something that's not any of us, because we'll never come down to a solid answer on our own.
Jesus told his followers, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:31).
Now we're getting somewhere. If we hold to Jesus' teaching...we will know the truth. What did Jesus teach?
The most important thing he said was this:
"I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6)
There is the answer to Pilate's question. What is truth? Jesus is truth. His teachings are truth.
But wait, there's one thing more.
Jesus=God. (John 1:1-3)
God's teachings=Jesus' teachings.
God's teachings=Scripture ("God's Word").
Scripture=Jesus' teachings.
Jesus' teachings=truth.
Scripture=truth.
What is truth?
Truth is every word found in God's Word: in the Bible.
Then this, too, is truth:
(Leaving you with something to perhaps make you smile. Brad Stein is one of my favorite Christian speakers and comedians. He has a lot of good things to say...including about truth.)
Linking with:
It is the question Pilate asked Jesus, just hours before Jesus' crucifixion (John 18:38).
Jesus had just said to him, "In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."
"Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."
Well, but what is truth? Who defines it?
Is truth what we make of it? Is it whatever we choose? You have your truth, and I have mine, and we'll all get along.
Well, but maybe my truth is different from yours. Maybe my truth says that nothing you say is true.
But what if your truth says that nothing I say is true? What then?
We need something that defines truth. Something that's not any of us, because we'll never come down to a solid answer on our own.
Jesus told his followers, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:31).
Now we're getting somewhere. If we hold to Jesus' teaching...we will know the truth. What did Jesus teach?
The most important thing he said was this:
"God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but will have eternal life."
-Jesus (John 3:16)Jesus also said this:
"I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6)
There is the answer to Pilate's question. What is truth? Jesus is truth. His teachings are truth.
But wait, there's one thing more.
Jesus=God. (John 1:1-3)
God's teachings=Jesus' teachings.
God's teachings=Scripture ("God's Word").
Scripture=Jesus' teachings.
Jesus' teachings=truth.
Scripture=truth.
What is truth?
Truth is every word found in God's Word: in the Bible.
Then this, too, is truth:
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:8-10).
(Leaving you with something to perhaps make you smile. Brad Stein is one of my favorite Christian speakers and comedians. He has a lot of good things to say...including about truth.)
Linking with:
Friday, June 22, 2012
on my words and THE Word
I'm one of those people who struggles with speaking before I think.
When I was younger, I would sometimes get in trouble for saying something rude, out of turn, or disrespectful. My parents' wise "punishment" was to have me copy down verses from the Proverbs about the difference between a wise person who holds his tongue and a foolish person who does not.
Now most of those verses are underlined in my Bible, because I still need the reminder!
Lately I've been struggling with complaining and arguing, mostly to/with my husband. I stubbornly insist on my own way, even when it's a little thing that doesn't matter.
Paul wrote to the Philippians, "Do everything without complaining or arguing" (Philippians 2:14).
Well, there it is. Don't complain, don't argue, period.
What I often forget about that verse, and what I think is often left out of it, is the context. Here is the whole passage:
Of course Paul doesn't mean here that we can be completely blameless and without fault...that's not possible for us sinful humans. But we can ask God to give us a complete and faultless devotion to doing his will. This is something he desires for us to have, so it is a prayer he will answer!
The biggest part of this verse to me is the purpose for living a life free of complaining and arguing. We are to shine like stars in the universe, in the darkness of this "crooked and depraved" world, holding out the Word of Life--the Gospel. Our lives, as children of God, should so shine in the darkness that unbelievers can see God's Word being enacted in our lives.
The apostle Matthew wrote,
As his child, my biggest goal for my life is to praise and glorify God, and to shine his light in a dark world!
Sometimes that's an overwhelming thought. It sounds like way too much for me to do on my own.
Well, that's because it is. I'm not supposed to do it on my own.
I may be a lamp on a stand, but the Holy Spirit is the fire inside me that shines HIS light everywhere I go. As part of the body of Christ, I'm the light of the world, but that light doesn't come from me. It comes from God's Word--the Word of light, and the Word of life.
John wrote concerning Jesus,
When I was younger, I would sometimes get in trouble for saying something rude, out of turn, or disrespectful. My parents' wise "punishment" was to have me copy down verses from the Proverbs about the difference between a wise person who holds his tongue and a foolish person who does not.
Now most of those verses are underlined in my Bible, because I still need the reminder!
Lately I've been struggling with complaining and arguing, mostly to/with my husband. I stubbornly insist on my own way, even when it's a little thing that doesn't matter.
Paul wrote to the Philippians, "Do everything without complaining or arguing" (Philippians 2:14).
Well, there it is. Don't complain, don't argue, period.
What I often forget about that verse, and what I think is often left out of it, is the context. Here is the whole passage:
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." -Philippians 2:14-16Wow. That adds a lot more meaning to the verse!
Of course Paul doesn't mean here that we can be completely blameless and without fault...that's not possible for us sinful humans. But we can ask God to give us a complete and faultless devotion to doing his will. This is something he desires for us to have, so it is a prayer he will answer!
The biggest part of this verse to me is the purpose for living a life free of complaining and arguing. We are to shine like stars in the universe, in the darkness of this "crooked and depraved" world, holding out the Word of Life--the Gospel. Our lives, as children of God, should so shine in the darkness that unbelievers can see God's Word being enacted in our lives.
The apostle Matthew wrote,
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:14-16I don't watch what I say to avoid having to copy down Bible verses over and over. I do it, or try to do it, because it is obedient to God and a life that is obedient to God is a life that praises him.
As his child, my biggest goal for my life is to praise and glorify God, and to shine his light in a dark world!
Sometimes that's an overwhelming thought. It sounds like way too much for me to do on my own.
Well, that's because it is. I'm not supposed to do it on my own.
I may be a lamp on a stand, but the Holy Spirit is the fire inside me that shines HIS light everywhere I go. As part of the body of Christ, I'm the light of the world, but that light doesn't come from me. It comes from God's Word--the Word of light, and the Word of life.
John wrote concerning Jesus,
"Through him [Jesus] all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men." -John 1:3-4
Thursday, February 16, 2012
It's Not About Me
I've been reminded in a lot of ways this week that I'm not perfect.
And that is okay.
Our dear friend Joseph's birthday was yesterday. So Monday and Tuesday I was a busy-bee homemaker, figuring out how to make the perfect birthday cake from scratch. I was also planning a fancy dinner for my husband for Valentine's Day: roast chicken, homemade stuffing, steamed veggies, and turtle cheesecake.
The cake turned out lovely...other than misspelling "Birthday" (it read "Happy Birthay"). And the frosting was runny and a little sparse. But it tastes great. :)
The Valentine's Day dinner turned out well, too...but the chicken took a lot longer to cook than I thought. I cut into a leg and it was still red and bloody. And when it was cooked all the way, I realized that I had put it in the pan upside-down. oops. The cheesecake was yummy (so yummy that Hubby has eaten over half of it by himself already)...but the crust kept falling apart.
And our evening with dinner and a movie was fun...until I was doing dishes and the drain pipe fell off again, leaking water all over the kitchen floor. I did not react well. Tears and screeching. Hubby was very forgiving.
Aaand my house is not clean, my homework is not done, the kitchen is messy, and today I haven't been feeling quite up to doing any of that.
But I had a long talk with my friend Sara yesterday. She's had an insane week, and she was fretting about not getting everything done as well as she wanted to be able to. I told her that it's okay to not get solid A's on everything. That not practicing organ for a full ten hours was not going to completely ruin her lesson. That her professor would understand. That it's okay not to do everything perfectly. That she doesn't need to be so hard on herself.
Because I'm the same way: I am my own harshest critic. I get so down on myself when I don't measure up to my own expectations. When tiredness, not feeling well, or other things get in the way of doing what I think needs to be done I blame myself.
In some ways I'm justified in this. I should try to do my best in honor to glorify God. I should honor my professors, classmates, and husband especially.
But I am not perfect. I am not going to always get everything right. I won't always handle trying situations well. I am not a perfect wife, student, friend, cook, homemaker, whatever. I won't ever be.
And that is OKAY!
I focus so much on my sinful nature: what I do wrong all the time. But a professor reminded us in doctrine class recently that we are always saints as well. When I am in class, I'm honoring God. When I'm at work, I'm serving him. When I put food on the table (misspelled, wrongly cooked, or not!), I am blessing my husband and sharing the gifts God has given us.
No, I'm not perfect. But God is. And it's not all about me, after all. It's about him. Focusing on myself all the time is downright sinful. My focus should not be, "How can I be the best person I can be?" but "How can I serve God the best I can?"
God has already done all that was needed to make me perfect in his sight. Jesus died to take the punishment for my imperfection on himself. He rose again so that I can have his perfection. His Holy Spirit is in me, giving me faith and the power to be his tool and partner in carrying out his will.
That's an incredible thing: I am one of the people who help God carry out his purposes. I am his servant and his tool--but I am not inactive in serving him. Because I am saved and redeemed, I really do serve and honor God of my own free will. No, I don't do it perfectly...but he uses my imperfections and allows me to serve him despite them.
What a beautiful truth this is! What incredible grace.
And that is okay.
Our dear friend Joseph's birthday was yesterday. So Monday and Tuesday I was a busy-bee homemaker, figuring out how to make the perfect birthday cake from scratch. I was also planning a fancy dinner for my husband for Valentine's Day: roast chicken, homemade stuffing, steamed veggies, and turtle cheesecake.
The cake turned out lovely...other than misspelling "Birthday" (it read "Happy Birthay"). And the frosting was runny and a little sparse. But it tastes great. :)
The Valentine's Day dinner turned out well, too...but the chicken took a lot longer to cook than I thought. I cut into a leg and it was still red and bloody. And when it was cooked all the way, I realized that I had put it in the pan upside-down. oops. The cheesecake was yummy (so yummy that Hubby has eaten over half of it by himself already)...but the crust kept falling apart.
And our evening with dinner and a movie was fun...until I was doing dishes and the drain pipe fell off again, leaking water all over the kitchen floor. I did not react well. Tears and screeching. Hubby was very forgiving.
Aaand my house is not clean, my homework is not done, the kitchen is messy, and today I haven't been feeling quite up to doing any of that.
But I had a long talk with my friend Sara yesterday. She's had an insane week, and she was fretting about not getting everything done as well as she wanted to be able to. I told her that it's okay to not get solid A's on everything. That not practicing organ for a full ten hours was not going to completely ruin her lesson. That her professor would understand. That it's okay not to do everything perfectly. That she doesn't need to be so hard on herself.
Because I'm the same way: I am my own harshest critic. I get so down on myself when I don't measure up to my own expectations. When tiredness, not feeling well, or other things get in the way of doing what I think needs to be done I blame myself.
In some ways I'm justified in this. I should try to do my best in honor to glorify God. I should honor my professors, classmates, and husband especially.
But I am not perfect. I am not going to always get everything right. I won't always handle trying situations well. I am not a perfect wife, student, friend, cook, homemaker, whatever. I won't ever be.
And that is OKAY!
I focus so much on my sinful nature: what I do wrong all the time. But a professor reminded us in doctrine class recently that we are always saints as well. When I am in class, I'm honoring God. When I'm at work, I'm serving him. When I put food on the table (misspelled, wrongly cooked, or not!), I am blessing my husband and sharing the gifts God has given us.
No, I'm not perfect. But God is. And it's not all about me, after all. It's about him. Focusing on myself all the time is downright sinful. My focus should not be, "How can I be the best person I can be?" but "How can I serve God the best I can?"
God has already done all that was needed to make me perfect in his sight. Jesus died to take the punishment for my imperfection on himself. He rose again so that I can have his perfection. His Holy Spirit is in me, giving me faith and the power to be his tool and partner in carrying out his will.
That's an incredible thing: I am one of the people who help God carry out his purposes. I am his servant and his tool--but I am not inactive in serving him. Because I am saved and redeemed, I really do serve and honor God of my own free will. No, I don't do it perfectly...but he uses my imperfections and allows me to serve him despite them.
What a beautiful truth this is! What incredible grace.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Marrying Young
This is another topic that is near and dear to my heart, like education and vocation (see my last post). I met my husband at the age of eighteen, and we were married just before I turned twenty. He was almost twenty-one.
Our plan to marry young was met with mixed reactions from our family, friends and acquaintances. Most of the people closest to us were very supportive and encouraging. Some of our family compared us to older, "more settled" adults they saw marrying--people in their thirties, out of college, holding steady and well-paying jobs, owning their own house. (Unfortunately, a few couples like that were living together before they were married.)
Joshua and I believe that following God's directives for our lives is always the best idea, and that includes marriage and relationships. We wanted to remain virgin till marriage, which we did, by the grace of God. We did not intend on living together before marriage, which we did not. We wanted to live our lives in a way that would best honor and glorify God, and we believe that they best way to do that was to marry sooner rather than later.
It was difficult enough for us to wait as long as we did. We both strongly desired to be married for a variety of reasons. We both feel that we can serve God better together than apart. And we wanted to honor him with our bodies. For those and other reasons, we chose to marry young.
Now, there are several good reasons why we should have waited to get married until we were older.
-We would have been out of college and (at least mostly) done with our education
-We would have had careers, steady jobs, and a more substantial income than we do now
-We would have been free to explore other activities and opportunities that college offers
-We could have enjoyed the benefits of remaining our parents' dependents for longer
-We could have become more mature and sure of ourselves
But there are many good reasons why we did marry when we did.
-We did not want to risk falling into temptation
-We can "finish growing up" together instead of separately
-We can begin learning how to be a good spouse now instead of later, when we might have learned bad habits
-We can enjoy the comfort and companionship of marriage now instead of desperately desiring it for any longer
-We can support each other in our faith and our walk with God much better
-We can start early in being independent and self-sufficient
-We can enjoy having relatively few responsibilities while we are still in college, and yet have the benefits of being married and independent
-We are learning responsibility, resourcefulness, and selflessness much better than if we were single
-We are saving money by living together off-campus and having jobs to support ourselves
-We have more years to enjoy as a married couple before children come to bless us
-Most importantly, we can serve God better together and seek to honor him in new ways that have become available to us
I could go on! I will never regret the decision we made. Our parents supported us completely, and we felt totally at peace with the decision we made. That was enough to make me sure that our choice was the right one.
I have several friends and acquaintances who also chose to marry before they finished school. I am so proud of them. But please don't take this post to mean that I think it's wrong to wait to get married! Every couple has to make the choice for themselves, and whether it's right or wrong depends on the couple. I just believe that it's often beneficial to marry young, rather than waiting to finish college/grad school/whatever.
And I wanted to write this in order to be an encouragement to others, and to explain why we chose the life we did.
I wouldn't have life any other way.
{8/10/12 edit: Linking to the Perspectives on Life and Love Carnival at Modern Mrs. Darcy!}
{Linking up with all these fantastic blogs!}
Our plan to marry young was met with mixed reactions from our family, friends and acquaintances. Most of the people closest to us were very supportive and encouraging. Some of our family compared us to older, "more settled" adults they saw marrying--people in their thirties, out of college, holding steady and well-paying jobs, owning their own house. (Unfortunately, a few couples like that were living together before they were married.)
Joshua and I believe that following God's directives for our lives is always the best idea, and that includes marriage and relationships. We wanted to remain virgin till marriage, which we did, by the grace of God. We did not intend on living together before marriage, which we did not. We wanted to live our lives in a way that would best honor and glorify God, and we believe that they best way to do that was to marry sooner rather than later.
It was difficult enough for us to wait as long as we did. We both strongly desired to be married for a variety of reasons. We both feel that we can serve God better together than apart. And we wanted to honor him with our bodies. For those and other reasons, we chose to marry young.
Now, there are several good reasons why we should have waited to get married until we were older.
-We would have been out of college and (at least mostly) done with our education
-We would have had careers, steady jobs, and a more substantial income than we do now
-We would have been free to explore other activities and opportunities that college offers
-We could have enjoyed the benefits of remaining our parents' dependents for longer
-We could have become more mature and sure of ourselves
But there are many good reasons why we did marry when we did.
-We did not want to risk falling into temptation
-We can "finish growing up" together instead of separately
-We can begin learning how to be a good spouse now instead of later, when we might have learned bad habits
-We can enjoy the comfort and companionship of marriage now instead of desperately desiring it for any longer
-We can support each other in our faith and our walk with God much better
-We can start early in being independent and self-sufficient
-We can enjoy having relatively few responsibilities while we are still in college, and yet have the benefits of being married and independent
-We are learning responsibility, resourcefulness, and selflessness much better than if we were single
-We are saving money by living together off-campus and having jobs to support ourselves
-We have more years to enjoy as a married couple before children come to bless us
-Most importantly, we can serve God better together and seek to honor him in new ways that have become available to us
I could go on! I will never regret the decision we made. Our parents supported us completely, and we felt totally at peace with the decision we made. That was enough to make me sure that our choice was the right one.
I have several friends and acquaintances who also chose to marry before they finished school. I am so proud of them. But please don't take this post to mean that I think it's wrong to wait to get married! Every couple has to make the choice for themselves, and whether it's right or wrong depends on the couple. I just believe that it's often beneficial to marry young, rather than waiting to finish college/grad school/whatever.
And I wanted to write this in order to be an encouragement to others, and to explain why we chose the life we did.
I wouldn't have life any other way.
{8/10/12 edit: Linking to the Perspectives on Life and Love Carnival at Modern Mrs. Darcy!}
{Linking up with all these fantastic blogs!}
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Why am I in college?
I've been thinking about writing this for some time, and I decided to do so in the hope that sharing my experiences might be encouraging to someone else.
I never really thought about not going to college. I suppose that could be partly my parents' "fault," but I'm positive that if I had expressed a desire to not go to college, they would have fully supported me. As it was, I didn't think about anything else. I think that made it fairly clear that God wanted me to continue my formal education after high school.
I was in Indonesia my last semester of high school, so a lot of my final college plans took place via emails. I originally planned to go to the university that I'm at now, but there's one in the same system that's about forty-five minutes from my hometown. They were offering me more financial aid than this one in the beginning, and they had a major that I figured would work for me. It wasn't exactly what I had been planning on, but it would do. I decided I could at least go there for a couple of years.
However, in June of 2009 things changed. The school I'm at now offered me more financial aid, which made the cost of the two schools equal. With less than two months till the first day of school, I had to make a decision again. I decided on my birthday, July 3, to come to this school. Several things solidified that decision. The director of the school's major choir called me from choir tour in Spain to see if I'd made my final decision. A couple days later the president of the university emailed me to say he was very glad I had decided to attend. (Granted, this is a school of about 1200 students. It was still impressive.) Finally, and most importantly, I felt a great peace about the decision.
I came here with plans to become a Director of Christian Education, a DCE. My mom went to school to be one. So did her brother, and my dad's dad. (A DCE, by the way, usually works with a church's pastor to teach Bible studies, youth groups, Sunday school, confirmation classes, adult Bible studies, and other things within a congregation and sometimes in parochial schools.) I had been interested in that ministry for a while, and felt that it was the most practical choice for me.
However, that all changed fairly quickly when I started dating Joshua, two weeks into the school year, and especially when we got engaged six months later. He is planning on being a Lutheran high school teacher. A DCE does much of their work in the evenings and weekends. A teacher works during the day Monday through Friday. We realized that, were we to both continue in the career paths we'd chosen, we would hardly see each other once we began working.
Neither one of us liked the sound of that.
So--after much thought, prayer, and conversation, I decided to not be in the DCE program. It was not an easy decision, but I felt very much at peace once I'd made it. I'm now double-majoring in English and Theology. At a school where most people are either in education or pre-seminary programs if they're not athletes or scientists (and a lot of people are education and athletes or scientists), I get some funny looks. Especially from older people. "What, you're not education? So what kind of career are you going to get with that major?"
Well, honestly, I plan on being a professional writer. That's one of the main purposes for this blog: practice writing, and a way to get my name "out there" so when I do write a book there will (Lord willing!) be people who know and like how I write and want to actually read a book I've written. (When that happens, I will let you know.) I believe that God has gifted me with the ability to write, and I want to use it to honor and glorify him as well as I can. I'd really like to write devotionals, Bible studies, and Christian fiction. We'll see how that goes.
But the fact is, since I was very young I have wanted to be a wife, mother, author, teacher, and librarian. Wife--check. Author--working on it. Librarian--sort of. I help at the circulation desk at the campus library. :) Mother--someday. Teacher--of our future children. None of those things requires a college education.
My mom was in college for seven years. She worked professionally as a DCE for TWO. She's been an at-home, homeschooling mom ever since--but she also teaches Sunday school, leads a moms' Bible study that meets every week (and has for years), is part of the marriage ministry team at their church along with my dad, sings in the church choir, and does a lot more, all volunteering--but all using the things she learned in college and in her life since then.
That's what I want to do. (But not the seven years of college. No thanks.)
I want to be my husband's ministry partner. I want to implement the principles of Titus chapter 2, helping to teach, train, and encourage younger women as I get older and have more life experience. I want to learn from women who are older and wiser than I. I want to teach our future children about God and how much he loves them, and how they can love him. I want to share the good news of Jesus with everyone in my life.
So...why am I in college?
Because God wanted me here.
After all, this is where I met my husband. That's priceless.
Because, as my dad says, no education is ever wasted, no matter how much it costs.
And because God has work for me. He has plans to teach and bless and shape me. He has plans that I don't know a thing about...but he does. And this is where he wants me to be at this point in my life.
I never really thought about not going to college. I suppose that could be partly my parents' "fault," but I'm positive that if I had expressed a desire to not go to college, they would have fully supported me. As it was, I didn't think about anything else. I think that made it fairly clear that God wanted me to continue my formal education after high school.
I was in Indonesia my last semester of high school, so a lot of my final college plans took place via emails. I originally planned to go to the university that I'm at now, but there's one in the same system that's about forty-five minutes from my hometown. They were offering me more financial aid than this one in the beginning, and they had a major that I figured would work for me. It wasn't exactly what I had been planning on, but it would do. I decided I could at least go there for a couple of years.
However, in June of 2009 things changed. The school I'm at now offered me more financial aid, which made the cost of the two schools equal. With less than two months till the first day of school, I had to make a decision again. I decided on my birthday, July 3, to come to this school. Several things solidified that decision. The director of the school's major choir called me from choir tour in Spain to see if I'd made my final decision. A couple days later the president of the university emailed me to say he was very glad I had decided to attend. (Granted, this is a school of about 1200 students. It was still impressive.) Finally, and most importantly, I felt a great peace about the decision.
I came here with plans to become a Director of Christian Education, a DCE. My mom went to school to be one. So did her brother, and my dad's dad. (A DCE, by the way, usually works with a church's pastor to teach Bible studies, youth groups, Sunday school, confirmation classes, adult Bible studies, and other things within a congregation and sometimes in parochial schools.) I had been interested in that ministry for a while, and felt that it was the most practical choice for me.
However, that all changed fairly quickly when I started dating Joshua, two weeks into the school year, and especially when we got engaged six months later. He is planning on being a Lutheran high school teacher. A DCE does much of their work in the evenings and weekends. A teacher works during the day Monday through Friday. We realized that, were we to both continue in the career paths we'd chosen, we would hardly see each other once we began working.
Neither one of us liked the sound of that.
So--after much thought, prayer, and conversation, I decided to not be in the DCE program. It was not an easy decision, but I felt very much at peace once I'd made it. I'm now double-majoring in English and Theology. At a school where most people are either in education or pre-seminary programs if they're not athletes or scientists (and a lot of people are education and athletes or scientists), I get some funny looks. Especially from older people. "What, you're not education? So what kind of career are you going to get with that major?"
Well, honestly, I plan on being a professional writer. That's one of the main purposes for this blog: practice writing, and a way to get my name "out there" so when I do write a book there will (Lord willing!) be people who know and like how I write and want to actually read a book I've written. (When that happens, I will let you know.) I believe that God has gifted me with the ability to write, and I want to use it to honor and glorify him as well as I can. I'd really like to write devotionals, Bible studies, and Christian fiction. We'll see how that goes.
But the fact is, since I was very young I have wanted to be a wife, mother, author, teacher, and librarian. Wife--check. Author--working on it. Librarian--sort of. I help at the circulation desk at the campus library. :) Mother--someday. Teacher--of our future children. None of those things requires a college education.
My mom was in college for seven years. She worked professionally as a DCE for TWO. She's been an at-home, homeschooling mom ever since--but she also teaches Sunday school, leads a moms' Bible study that meets every week (and has for years), is part of the marriage ministry team at their church along with my dad, sings in the church choir, and does a lot more, all volunteering--but all using the things she learned in college and in her life since then.
That's what I want to do. (But not the seven years of college. No thanks.)
I want to be my husband's ministry partner. I want to implement the principles of Titus chapter 2, helping to teach, train, and encourage younger women as I get older and have more life experience. I want to learn from women who are older and wiser than I. I want to teach our future children about God and how much he loves them, and how they can love him. I want to share the good news of Jesus with everyone in my life.
So...why am I in college?
Because God wanted me here.
After all, this is where I met my husband. That's priceless.
Because, as my dad says, no education is ever wasted, no matter how much it costs.
And because God has work for me. He has plans to teach and bless and shape me. He has plans that I don't know a thing about...but he does. And this is where he wants me to be at this point in my life.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Always Sinner...and ALWAYS Saint.
I've heard it twice in two days now.
See God in everything.
See Him in me, always.
My Christian doctrine teacher says that we Lutherans focus too much on our sinful natures. But my husband whispered over to me, "Simul justus et peecator." Simultaneously saint and sinner. That's what we are. But we, at least I, tend to focus so much more on the sinner, and discount the saint.
Today I read Ann's words in One Thousand Gifts, "Why do I reduce The Greatest to the lesser instead of seeing the lesser, this mess, as reflecting The Greatest? I have to learn how to see, to look through to the Largeness behind all the smallness."
Even in my own sinfulness, I can see Christ. Moreover, the new person in me--the sanctified, justified saint--is here ALL THE TIME. Yes, the sinner is here all the time too. But I am always holy.
My professor explained it this way. "You don't always think about loving your husband, do you? Love is often an unconscious decision. You don't always think about serving God, either. Are you serving God by being in class right now?" I replied that yes, I guessed so. "You are. You might not realize it; you might not even be doing it intentionally. But you are here to learn about the faith in order to be able to teach it better in your future ministry. Your being here, respecting your teacher and your classmates, is following God's will. You are being led by the Holy Spirit and you are being obedient to God just by being here."
That got me wondering how often I really am obeying God without realizing it!! Is that not the epitome of grace: that he allows us to obey him without our knowledge, even as we so often sin without consciously deciding to. Doing dishes is being obedient to God. Bathing is being obedient to God. Grocery shopping...doing homework...folding laundry...even sleeping! All of these things are fulfilling God's will for me in one way or another.
So very often I am hard on myself for sinning so much. But do I thank God that, by his grace, I am able to obey him so much? I think we as Christians either give ourselves too much or too little credit. We do sin much, yes. But we do good things for God as well.
Most importantly: we believe in God all the time. Yes, faith is a gift, so we did not consciously choose to receive it. But we don't have to consciously work to believe, either. Believing in God makes us saints: his children, his chosen ones. Since we believe all the time, we are saints, all the time.
I have the power of the Holy Spirit living in me.
That never changes.
And just imagine...when we join Christ in heaven one day, we will lose the sinful side of ourselves, and be only saints. Only holy. Always obedient to Christ.
Can you just imagine how wonderful that will be?
See God in everything.
See Him in me, always.
My Christian doctrine teacher says that we Lutherans focus too much on our sinful natures. But my husband whispered over to me, "Simul justus et peecator." Simultaneously saint and sinner. That's what we are. But we, at least I, tend to focus so much more on the sinner, and discount the saint.
Today I read Ann's words in One Thousand Gifts, "Why do I reduce The Greatest to the lesser instead of seeing the lesser, this mess, as reflecting The Greatest? I have to learn how to see, to look through to the Largeness behind all the smallness."
Even in my own sinfulness, I can see Christ. Moreover, the new person in me--the sanctified, justified saint--is here ALL THE TIME. Yes, the sinner is here all the time too. But I am always holy.
My professor explained it this way. "You don't always think about loving your husband, do you? Love is often an unconscious decision. You don't always think about serving God, either. Are you serving God by being in class right now?" I replied that yes, I guessed so. "You are. You might not realize it; you might not even be doing it intentionally. But you are here to learn about the faith in order to be able to teach it better in your future ministry. Your being here, respecting your teacher and your classmates, is following God's will. You are being led by the Holy Spirit and you are being obedient to God just by being here."
That got me wondering how often I really am obeying God without realizing it!! Is that not the epitome of grace: that he allows us to obey him without our knowledge, even as we so often sin without consciously deciding to. Doing dishes is being obedient to God. Bathing is being obedient to God. Grocery shopping...doing homework...folding laundry...even sleeping! All of these things are fulfilling God's will for me in one way or another.
So very often I am hard on myself for sinning so much. But do I thank God that, by his grace, I am able to obey him so much? I think we as Christians either give ourselves too much or too little credit. We do sin much, yes. But we do good things for God as well.
Most importantly: we believe in God all the time. Yes, faith is a gift, so we did not consciously choose to receive it. But we don't have to consciously work to believe, either. Believing in God makes us saints: his children, his chosen ones. Since we believe all the time, we are saints, all the time.
I have the power of the Holy Spirit living in me.
That never changes.
And just imagine...when we join Christ in heaven one day, we will lose the sinful side of ourselves, and be only saints. Only holy. Always obedient to Christ.
Can you just imagine how wonderful that will be?
Saturday, December 10, 2011
catch-up and God-talk
I haven't had much time to write, and haven't been able to think of much to write about.
Finals week begins Monday. I only have one test, but six papers to write this week. None are terribly long, but it's a little overwhelming. I did finish a short story this evening, with Joshua's help to get the male perspective accurate. I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.
This week has been fairly typical otherwise. Last week of classes. I feel perpetually sleep-deprived. That's partly my own fault, though. Last night there was a formal dance and we went with Ruth and Joe, and then went to IHOP for a midnight pancake run. I've never been to IHOP at all and certainly not at such an hour! But it was fun, and delicious. We didn't get home till 2:30, however, so this morning was slow and lazy. But it was nice. :)
Today I also got laundry and grocery shopping done. It's nice to have clean clothes and a full fridge!
The story I wrote is based on the experiences Joshua and I had over Thanksgiving break: broken-down car, both of us upset, tow truck ride, all that. My English professor had an incredible insight when she read the story. I wrote about how the young couple in the story (basically us) had to put the car in neutral, and let the tow truck driver take control of the car to get it on the truck and driven to the repair shop. The couple had to let go of the wheel entirely and trust their car to someone else. They had to let him take the wheel and just go along with the ride.
I'm surprised I didn't see the spiritual application of this story myself, but I'm sure glad my teacher did. We have to let God take control. We have to get in the passenger seat, let go of our lives, and let him take us where we need to go, where we'll be safe. Considering that the story is based on real life...it was very emotional for me. It's like God was talking to me, but it took nearly two weeks for me to hear the message, and then I had to be told by someone else what it was.
I hear you, Lord. Let you take over. Trust you. Don't worry. Don't fret. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Life is so much easier when I don't have to focus on the particulars of the trip--when I don't see what's ahead in the road. Because you, God, can see, and you'll get me through everything safely.
Finals week begins Monday. I only have one test, but six papers to write this week. None are terribly long, but it's a little overwhelming. I did finish a short story this evening, with Joshua's help to get the male perspective accurate. I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.
This week has been fairly typical otherwise. Last week of classes. I feel perpetually sleep-deprived. That's partly my own fault, though. Last night there was a formal dance and we went with Ruth and Joe, and then went to IHOP for a midnight pancake run. I've never been to IHOP at all and certainly not at such an hour! But it was fun, and delicious. We didn't get home till 2:30, however, so this morning was slow and lazy. But it was nice. :)
Today I also got laundry and grocery shopping done. It's nice to have clean clothes and a full fridge!
The story I wrote is based on the experiences Joshua and I had over Thanksgiving break: broken-down car, both of us upset, tow truck ride, all that. My English professor had an incredible insight when she read the story. I wrote about how the young couple in the story (basically us) had to put the car in neutral, and let the tow truck driver take control of the car to get it on the truck and driven to the repair shop. The couple had to let go of the wheel entirely and trust their car to someone else. They had to let him take the wheel and just go along with the ride.
I'm surprised I didn't see the spiritual application of this story myself, but I'm sure glad my teacher did. We have to let God take control. We have to get in the passenger seat, let go of our lives, and let him take us where we need to go, where we'll be safe. Considering that the story is based on real life...it was very emotional for me. It's like God was talking to me, but it took nearly two weeks for me to hear the message, and then I had to be told by someone else what it was.
I hear you, Lord. Let you take over. Trust you. Don't worry. Don't fret. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Life is so much easier when I don't have to focus on the particulars of the trip--when I don't see what's ahead in the road. Because you, God, can see, and you'll get me through everything safely.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thankful Thursday
I'm so tired tonight. It's almost time for Thanksgiving break, and the semester only has about two weeks after that. It's been a long, busy semester. But we've been so blessed this semester.
Today I'm particularly thankful for:
-the fact that one week from RIGHT NOW we will be with my parents, siblings, grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins!!! I can hardly wait. I haven't seen my folks since July and the extended family since the wedding in May. It's going to be amazing.
-only one day left of school till a week off. My goals are to get the house completely clean (in preparation for Christmas decorating!!) and (finally) finish thank-you notes. (I know, I know, I'm a horrible person...)
-beautiful fall weather. It's been gorgeous. I admit, however, I'm ready for snow now...
-new windows installed in the living room and kitchen today!!! FINALLY! They're beautiful, and I'm hoping they will have a positive effect on our utilities bill. Just a few more improvements and they'll be all done.
-continued healing for Joshua's dad. (thank you so much for your prayers!) We'll be visiting him tomorrow and I'll post an update later.
-my amazing husband. I know, I'm always thankful for him and I write about him all the time, but he is so encouraging, so sweet, so loving, so wise, and such a comfort to me. I don't know where I'd be without my best friend.
-our wonderful friends and fantastic family--such amazing people are in our lives!
Today I'm particularly thankful for:
-the fact that one week from RIGHT NOW we will be with my parents, siblings, grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins!!! I can hardly wait. I haven't seen my folks since July and the extended family since the wedding in May. It's going to be amazing.
-only one day left of school till a week off. My goals are to get the house completely clean (in preparation for Christmas decorating!!) and (finally) finish thank-you notes. (I know, I know, I'm a horrible person...)
-beautiful fall weather. It's been gorgeous. I admit, however, I'm ready for snow now...
-new windows installed in the living room and kitchen today!!! FINALLY! They're beautiful, and I'm hoping they will have a positive effect on our utilities bill. Just a few more improvements and they'll be all done.
-continued healing for Joshua's dad. (thank you so much for your prayers!) We'll be visiting him tomorrow and I'll post an update later.
-my amazing husband. I know, I'm always thankful for him and I write about him all the time, but he is so encouraging, so sweet, so loving, so wise, and such a comfort to me. I don't know where I'd be without my best friend.
-our wonderful friends and fantastic family--such amazing people are in our lives!
Monday, November 7, 2011
An Imperfect Life
I am a bit of a perfectionist.
Okay, that's putting it mildly.
I'm also really critical of myself and others, which combined with the perfectionism can get pretty messy.
Did I mention I'm also a clean freak who has a lazy streak and is stressed in a cluttered living space?
Yeah, not a good combination.
Being married, working, college students, we have time to get the house messy but not really time to get it clean, except for afternoons and evenings when we're usually both home. And when we're home at the same time, cleaning is usually the last thing I want to do. (It can be theraputic, however, because I'm relaxed when my house is in order!)
This past Friday we got home from school and I was going on about needing to get the living room picked up, dishes done, supper made, etc, etc. I was lying on the couch, not wanting to get up and do anything, and I fell asleep. Joshua brought a blanket and I napped for an hour. When I woke up life seemed a lot better even though nothing had really gotten done. But that was okay.
Joshua is my reality check. He reminds me that sometimes it's a good thing to sit and do nothing. That it's okay when our house isn't picture-perfect (which it rarely is). That there are things that matter a lot more than having a clean kitchen. That it's just fine to not be perfect.
He doesn't expect perfection of me.
Now, that doesn't mean he does not have high expectations for me. We each expect a lot of each other, and sometimes that causes frustration when we fail to live up to those expectations.
God does expect perfection of us. "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect," Jesus said (Matthew 5:48). He also knows that because we're sinful people, we can't be perfect. That's why he sent Jesus to pay the price for our imperfection, and put on us his own perfect-ness. When God looks at us now, he sees not our failures but Christ's perfect obedience.
And God forgives us. Constantly. For everything. He gives us a new start every day, making us always right with him when we repent of our sin.
So I can live freely in my imperfection, not being lazy or disobedient, but knowing that Joshua loves me anyway, and God loves me no matter what. He doesn't really care if I have a messy house, and neither does my husband. The state of my kitchen or bathroom doesn't have much of an impact on eternity. The time I spent serving and loving my husband, those people God puts in our lives, and God himself, are far more important.
That's a truth I can live with.
Okay, that's putting it mildly.
I'm also really critical of myself and others, which combined with the perfectionism can get pretty messy.
Did I mention I'm also a clean freak who has a lazy streak and is stressed in a cluttered living space?
Yeah, not a good combination.
Being married, working, college students, we have time to get the house messy but not really time to get it clean, except for afternoons and evenings when we're usually both home. And when we're home at the same time, cleaning is usually the last thing I want to do. (It can be theraputic, however, because I'm relaxed when my house is in order!)
This past Friday we got home from school and I was going on about needing to get the living room picked up, dishes done, supper made, etc, etc. I was lying on the couch, not wanting to get up and do anything, and I fell asleep. Joshua brought a blanket and I napped for an hour. When I woke up life seemed a lot better even though nothing had really gotten done. But that was okay.
Joshua is my reality check. He reminds me that sometimes it's a good thing to sit and do nothing. That it's okay when our house isn't picture-perfect (which it rarely is). That there are things that matter a lot more than having a clean kitchen. That it's just fine to not be perfect.
He doesn't expect perfection of me.
Now, that doesn't mean he does not have high expectations for me. We each expect a lot of each other, and sometimes that causes frustration when we fail to live up to those expectations.
God does expect perfection of us. "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect," Jesus said (Matthew 5:48). He also knows that because we're sinful people, we can't be perfect. That's why he sent Jesus to pay the price for our imperfection, and put on us his own perfect-ness. When God looks at us now, he sees not our failures but Christ's perfect obedience.
And God forgives us. Constantly. For everything. He gives us a new start every day, making us always right with him when we repent of our sin.
So I can live freely in my imperfection, not being lazy or disobedient, but knowing that Joshua loves me anyway, and God loves me no matter what. He doesn't really care if I have a messy house, and neither does my husband. The state of my kitchen or bathroom doesn't have much of an impact on eternity. The time I spent serving and loving my husband, those people God puts in our lives, and God himself, are far more important.
That's a truth I can live with.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Lessons and Happy Things
Update on the car situation:
The Camero needed too many repairs to be worth it. Our trusty mechanic advised against the purchase.
Hubby looked at another car last night (at the moment I don't remember what it is). It's a 1993 but in better shape than the Camero, has been owned by an adult who took it to the same mechanic we go to for repairs, and it only needs tires and brake pads instead of a kajillion other repairs. (Well, the Camero didn't need that much, but it was close.) So: chances are better that this will be the car. Plus it won't wake the neighbors with the unholy racket that the Camero makes! And I think it's prettier and more sensible-looking. :)
I am proud of my husband. He spent most of his day "off" yesterday figuring out car stuff, plus he cleaned up the living room so it looks waaay better than it has in weeks, and he made the bed. I forgot how nice it is to crawl into a bed that hasn't had the covers balled up all day. In my free time yesterday I finally- FINALLY- mopped the kitchen floor and cleaned most of the bathroom. Our house now feels sanitary again. It's fantastic.
We had friends over (Ruth and Joe) for supper--I made nachos. Or taco salad, depending on the ratio of lettuce to everything else. It's one of my favorite meals ever, and it was SO. GOOD. And then Ruth made chocolate chip cookies. It was a great evening.
This whole car business is really teaching me trust (again) and patience (even more). I was chatting with a classmate yesterday, a lovely young lady with a chronic disease (I don't know much about it except that it causes her a lot of pain and makes her very tired). She's undergoing blood transfusions to combat it. Yesterday she explained to me that there's a chance she could go into remission, but she'll be fighting the disease for the rest of her life. One might expect such a sick person to be reclusive, depressed, angry, or bitter. Emma is none of these things. She's cheerful, happy, encouraging, sweet, joyful, and has a fantastic boyfriend and lots of supportive friends. She told me that God has been teaching her how to trust him through this ordeal, and that he's faithful always, even in the midst of the pain. She is such an example to me, and to so many others.
My mom sent me an email this morning that included these passages from Scripture:
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if
anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things...And
the God of peace will be with you...And my God will meet all your
needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and
Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Philippians 4: 8-9, 19-20
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in
every good work...Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for
food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge
the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way
so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your
generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." 2 Corinthians 9: 8, 10-11
I am so thankful for my husband, my family, my friends and acquaintances; our home, our health, our jobs, our education. I am thankful for the ways that God constantly blesses us, for the ways he continually expresses his love for us, for the grace he daily bestows on us.
The Camero needed too many repairs to be worth it. Our trusty mechanic advised against the purchase.
Hubby looked at another car last night (at the moment I don't remember what it is). It's a 1993 but in better shape than the Camero, has been owned by an adult who took it to the same mechanic we go to for repairs, and it only needs tires and brake pads instead of a kajillion other repairs. (Well, the Camero didn't need that much, but it was close.) So: chances are better that this will be the car. Plus it won't wake the neighbors with the unholy racket that the Camero makes! And I think it's prettier and more sensible-looking. :)
I am proud of my husband. He spent most of his day "off" yesterday figuring out car stuff, plus he cleaned up the living room so it looks waaay better than it has in weeks, and he made the bed. I forgot how nice it is to crawl into a bed that hasn't had the covers balled up all day. In my free time yesterday I finally- FINALLY- mopped the kitchen floor and cleaned most of the bathroom. Our house now feels sanitary again. It's fantastic.
We had friends over (Ruth and Joe) for supper--I made nachos. Or taco salad, depending on the ratio of lettuce to everything else. It's one of my favorite meals ever, and it was SO. GOOD. And then Ruth made chocolate chip cookies. It was a great evening.
This whole car business is really teaching me trust (again) and patience (even more). I was chatting with a classmate yesterday, a lovely young lady with a chronic disease (I don't know much about it except that it causes her a lot of pain and makes her very tired). She's undergoing blood transfusions to combat it. Yesterday she explained to me that there's a chance she could go into remission, but she'll be fighting the disease for the rest of her life. One might expect such a sick person to be reclusive, depressed, angry, or bitter. Emma is none of these things. She's cheerful, happy, encouraging, sweet, joyful, and has a fantastic boyfriend and lots of supportive friends. She told me that God has been teaching her how to trust him through this ordeal, and that he's faithful always, even in the midst of the pain. She is such an example to me, and to so many others.
My mom sent me an email this morning that included these passages from Scripture:
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if
anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things...And
the God of peace will be with you...And my God will meet all your
needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and
Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Philippians 4: 8-9, 19-20
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in
every good work...Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for
food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge
the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way
so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your
generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." 2 Corinthians 9: 8, 10-11
I am so thankful for my husband, my family, my friends and acquaintances; our home, our health, our jobs, our education. I am thankful for the ways that God constantly blesses us, for the ways he continually expresses his love for us, for the grace he daily bestows on us.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Lately I've Been Learning...
I've been learning lately that the ways I sometimes choose to love my husband aren't always the ways he needs to be loved. He feels loved when I love him in the way he needs to be, not the way I think he needs to be.
I've been learning lately that communication doesn't just mean talking. That's true for all of my relationships, not just marriage.
I've been learning lately that as frustrating my life seems sometimes, I have SO much to be thankful for. A lot of people out there have much less than I do.
I've been learning lately how gracious and loving God is, and how much of a sense of humor he has, even when disciplining me. (In church yesterday I was being judgmental of how the reader was reading, whispering to Joshua how I could read it better, and then they read the words "Always consider others better than yourselves." Zinger.)
I've been learning lately that I am much more relaxed when I have a clean house. A few minutes of cleaning equals a happier me. (So why is it so hard to get off my duff and do it??)
I've been learning lately that I really enjoy working out. I like how it makes me feel. Who knew?
Constantly I'm learning how to trust God...learning that he loves me unconditionally, just as I am...how to love my husband better...that he loves me for the person I am and not the one I want to become. And at the same time, both of them encourage me to grow.
I've been learning lately that communication doesn't just mean talking. That's true for all of my relationships, not just marriage.
I've been learning lately that as frustrating my life seems sometimes, I have SO much to be thankful for. A lot of people out there have much less than I do.
I've been learning lately how gracious and loving God is, and how much of a sense of humor he has, even when disciplining me. (In church yesterday I was being judgmental of how the reader was reading, whispering to Joshua how I could read it better, and then they read the words "Always consider others better than yourselves." Zinger.)
I've been learning lately that I am much more relaxed when I have a clean house. A few minutes of cleaning equals a happier me. (So why is it so hard to get off my duff and do it??)
I've been learning lately that I really enjoy working out. I like how it makes me feel. Who knew?
Constantly I'm learning how to trust God...learning that he loves me unconditionally, just as I am...how to love my husband better...that he loves me for the person I am and not the one I want to become. And at the same time, both of them encourage me to grow.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Humility and Perspective
So it was one of those mornings today. Where it seems like one thing after another goes wrong. To make it even more frustrating, most of the difficulties resulted from my own lack of responsibility. (I didn't order new contacts in time, so after having lost one I'm stuck with wearing just one until I can get more. I don't feel like I did very well on a test because I didn't study as much as I should have. And so on.)
It was very humbling to realize that the frustrations of today were basically all my own fault. There's no one else to blame.
It was also humbling, while I was alternately feeling sorry for myself and mentally kicking myself, to remember that compared to a lot of people, my troubles are really not very troubling. A lot of people would be thankful for even one contact lens to help them see better. (Kind of a corny example, but oh well.) Even more people would be thankful for the opportunity to get any kind of education, and here I am at an excellent university.
Millions of people won't be going home tonight in a car that works, to a nice home with electricity and water and heat, to eat supper out of a fridge and cupboards full of food.
When I think of how much I have, it's a lot harder to feel sorry for myself about the things I don't have. (Especially when it's my own fault I don't have them!)
Also, a missing contact and a low grade on a test are not the end of the world, not by a long shot. I was quite cheered up by two lovely friends after class, and I will be very grateful to be able to see clearly out of both eyes when I get more contacts. Never taking them for granted again, I hope!
Meanwhile, it's the weekend, the weather is gorgeous, I have an amazing husband with whom I get to hang out this weekend, and I have a God who teaches, reprimands, loves and forgives me.
What more do I need? :)
It was very humbling to realize that the frustrations of today were basically all my own fault. There's no one else to blame.
It was also humbling, while I was alternately feeling sorry for myself and mentally kicking myself, to remember that compared to a lot of people, my troubles are really not very troubling. A lot of people would be thankful for even one contact lens to help them see better. (Kind of a corny example, but oh well.) Even more people would be thankful for the opportunity to get any kind of education, and here I am at an excellent university.
Millions of people won't be going home tonight in a car that works, to a nice home with electricity and water and heat, to eat supper out of a fridge and cupboards full of food.
When I think of how much I have, it's a lot harder to feel sorry for myself about the things I don't have. (Especially when it's my own fault I don't have them!)
Also, a missing contact and a low grade on a test are not the end of the world, not by a long shot. I was quite cheered up by two lovely friends after class, and I will be very grateful to be able to see clearly out of both eyes when I get more contacts. Never taking them for granted again, I hope!
Meanwhile, it's the weekend, the weather is gorgeous, I have an amazing husband with whom I get to hang out this weekend, and I have a God who teaches, reprimands, loves and forgives me.
What more do I need? :)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
The blessed pain of discipline
I started working out on Friday, for real. I mean the weight-lifting, elliptical-jogging, crunch-doing working out. My lovely and athletic friend Ruth offered to give me some pointers and be my workout buddy. She really knows what she's doing and I'm very thankful for her guidance and instruction!!
I'm one of those people with a slim but very not-athletic build; I've always been more sedentary. I like walking but this kind of working out is very new for me. As a result, I'm using muscles that don't often get used, and I'm feeling it! Saturday morning my abs hardly wanted to work, and I've been walking painfully the last couple days after a lower-body workout on Monday.
I knew this would happen; since I haven't been very active before I knew that any amount of real exercise would hurt at first. I also know that in a couple weeks I'll be more used to it and a lot less sore.
I keep reminding myself that this pain is a good thing. It means I'm working my body, making it stronger and healthier, and Ruth said today that my abs already look more toned. I have to keep pushing myself, but the results in the long run will be totally worth some sore muscles now.
Discipline was like that when I was little. Now I'm disciplining myself to work out, but a decade ago it was my parents instructing me to do and not do certain things, and there was punishment when I didn't obey. It hurt and it was inconvenient: spankings, time-outs, groundings, depending on my age and the severity of the disobedience. But I learned what I needed to and I was a better person as a result. (Yep, Mom and Dad, it worked...you can say "I told you so" now. :) )
Funnily enough, God puts discipline to work the same way. Have you ever noticed that the root word of discipline is disciple? As in, a person who follows someone else to learn from them and behave like them? What a concept! When God disciplines us, he is treating us as his disciples: helping us to learn from him and behave more like him. God disciplines us because he loves us. No, God does not cause "bad" things to happen to us. He allows us to go through difficulties and trials because he always uses them for our good and his glory. I have learned so much about trust by living on not a lot of money. I have learned patience through illness. I have learned to rely on God for comfort and help when I'm scared and sad. I have learned to give control over to God when it seems like my life is out of my hands.
Discipline hurts, certainly. No one likes the pain and frustration and discomfort of trials and difficulties. But it's a good pain, one that God uses to bless us richly!!
I'm thankful for my aching muscles that are growing and strengthening. I'm thankful that God loves me so much to use the good and the bad times in my life to help me become more like him, and grow closer to him in faith.
I'm one of those people with a slim but very not-athletic build; I've always been more sedentary. I like walking but this kind of working out is very new for me. As a result, I'm using muscles that don't often get used, and I'm feeling it! Saturday morning my abs hardly wanted to work, and I've been walking painfully the last couple days after a lower-body workout on Monday.
I knew this would happen; since I haven't been very active before I knew that any amount of real exercise would hurt at first. I also know that in a couple weeks I'll be more used to it and a lot less sore.
I keep reminding myself that this pain is a good thing. It means I'm working my body, making it stronger and healthier, and Ruth said today that my abs already look more toned. I have to keep pushing myself, but the results in the long run will be totally worth some sore muscles now.
Discipline was like that when I was little. Now I'm disciplining myself to work out, but a decade ago it was my parents instructing me to do and not do certain things, and there was punishment when I didn't obey. It hurt and it was inconvenient: spankings, time-outs, groundings, depending on my age and the severity of the disobedience. But I learned what I needed to and I was a better person as a result. (Yep, Mom and Dad, it worked...you can say "I told you so" now. :) )
Funnily enough, God puts discipline to work the same way. Have you ever noticed that the root word of discipline is disciple? As in, a person who follows someone else to learn from them and behave like them? What a concept! When God disciplines us, he is treating us as his disciples: helping us to learn from him and behave more like him. God disciplines us because he loves us. No, God does not cause "bad" things to happen to us. He allows us to go through difficulties and trials because he always uses them for our good and his glory. I have learned so much about trust by living on not a lot of money. I have learned patience through illness. I have learned to rely on God for comfort and help when I'm scared and sad. I have learned to give control over to God when it seems like my life is out of my hands.
Discipline hurts, certainly. No one likes the pain and frustration and discomfort of trials and difficulties. But it's a good pain, one that God uses to bless us richly!!
I'm thankful for my aching muscles that are growing and strengthening. I'm thankful that God loves me so much to use the good and the bad times in my life to help me become more like him, and grow closer to him in faith.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Life isn't perfect, but it sure is good. (Also, my hubby is a good baker!)
So my husband has been wonderfully "domestic" lately. I put that in quotes because he's not really domestic, he's just been doing some domestic activities. Mostly baking and doing some of the dishes that I never seem to find time to do. But seriously, in the last four days he has made:
bread
no-bake cookies (his specialty :) )
homemade chocolate chip cookies.
They all turned out fabulously. Last week I had him make no-knead whole-wheat bread. It was in the More-With-Less cookbook, and I figured, hey, no-knead! Easy, right? Have the hubby make it. The bread turned out tasty, but very, very dense. Read: cutting it gave me writer's cramp. Or I guess bread-cutter's-cramp. Anyway, this week I had him do white bread instead, which turned out really good. And the cookies were all fantastic.
But tonight we made banana bread. It was fun, working together. But then we were watching Smallville, and I left the bread cooling in the pans too long.
It fell apart as I tried to ease it out of the pans. :(
I nearly cried. Especially because I was going to give a loaf away, but it's not very pretty anymore. It does smell good, however, and I know it will taste great! (I haven't had any yet because I just had two fabulous chocolate chip cookies and a mug of vanilla tea!)
That's how life goes. It's never perfect. It might look really, really messy sometimes. And often I goof up so much I just want to cry. But that's ok, because I'm human. I'll never be perfect, no matter how much I try or how good my intentions are. Things will definitely not always go the way I want them to.
I know, though, that life is and will always be good. I will always have more blessings than I can count. I will always live forgiven and loved by God. And sometimes, life will even be great. :)
bread
no-bake cookies (his specialty :) )
homemade chocolate chip cookies.
They all turned out fabulously. Last week I had him make no-knead whole-wheat bread. It was in the More-With-Less cookbook, and I figured, hey, no-knead! Easy, right? Have the hubby make it. The bread turned out tasty, but very, very dense. Read: cutting it gave me writer's cramp. Or I guess bread-cutter's-cramp. Anyway, this week I had him do white bread instead, which turned out really good. And the cookies were all fantastic.
But tonight we made banana bread. It was fun, working together. But then we were watching Smallville, and I left the bread cooling in the pans too long.
It fell apart as I tried to ease it out of the pans. :(
I nearly cried. Especially because I was going to give a loaf away, but it's not very pretty anymore. It does smell good, however, and I know it will taste great! (I haven't had any yet because I just had two fabulous chocolate chip cookies and a mug of vanilla tea!)
That's how life goes. It's never perfect. It might look really, really messy sometimes. And often I goof up so much I just want to cry. But that's ok, because I'm human. I'll never be perfect, no matter how much I try or how good my intentions are. Things will definitely not always go the way I want them to.
I know, though, that life is and will always be good. I will always have more blessings than I can count. I will always live forgiven and loved by God. And sometimes, life will even be great. :)
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