Cultivating Your Marriage After a Baby {Guest post by Mary Beth}

Today I am delighted to welcome Mary Beth from New Life Steward!  Mary Beth and her husband have recently welcomed their first son, Thomas.  She, therefore, has experience I do not: being a mommy and a wife!  She has written a post with some really great, very wise suggestions for cultivating one's marriage after the birth of a baby.  This is information I will be glad I have in the future!  I hope it's a blessing to you as well.  Here is Mary Beth!

Our first date night after Thomas was born (3 weeks).

When we bring that little one home from the hospital, we want to give them the best of everything. We nurse or buy the best formula for their little tummies. We get the fancy diapers, softest blankets, and newest gadgets. We cuddle and love and nurture that little one--giving them the best of ourselves. Some new and expectant parents wonder what is it that my newborn really needs? What is the best thing I can do for this child who now holds my heart? One of the best things you can do for your newborn really does not involve your newborn at all. Cultivating your relationship with that tiny, new person's father will have long-lasting beneficial effects on his life. You relationship with you spouse is your child's first picture of how Christ loves the church. As she grows up watching you love each other sacrificially, she will gain a better understanding of how Christ loves her. I know it seems like time is stretched thin with a million chores to be done but taking time to focus on your spouse will reap long term benefits for your family. Leave the laundry piled on the couch and the dishes sitting in the sink and spend some time with your husband. Both of you will feel refreshed and renewed if you do.

5 Ways to Focus on Your Spouse When a New Baby Arrives:

1. Send texts and e-mails throughout the day. If you are reading this, then you likely have easy access to internet either via your computer or your smart phone. Send the love of your life pictures and updates once or twice a day. They don't all have to be about the baby. Remind him of what you love about him. Thank him for working hard to provide for you and the baby. This will help him to feel connected and involved in your day.
2. Eat at least one meal a day together, at the table, with no TV or phones. Eating meals as a family is a lost art in our society. However, research shows that families that eat dinner together raise more successful children. It only seems logical that eating with your spouse will enhance that relationship. From the first days of his life, we laid Thomas in a reclining high chair (or his was on the nursing pillow nursing) and ate dinner as a family--even if dinner was just cold cereal. This provided a time to reconnect after my husband had been away work all day.
3. Go on dates. Some of the best dates you will have once you enter the parent club are with a newborn in tow. Time it so that you can feed the baby and immediately head out for your date. Odds are, the newest member of the family will sleep through the whole affair. Remember, dates don't have to be expensive. Take a walk together, pack a picnic dinner, or browse Target (a favorite of ours!). Just get out of the house (I know, your mom told you not to take the baby out of the house until he was XX weeks old, it'll be okay. Just throw a blanket over the carrier. That is a universal DO NOT TOUCH sign.)
4. Do not neglect the marriage bed. You knew this was coming right? A professor in seminary (I have a Master's in Marriage and Family Counseling from a seminary) once told us that a good indicator of the health of a couple's marriage is the health of their sex life. That's scary, huh? I know the thought of sex probably freaks you out. After all, you either just pushed out a human being or had major surgery to bring the little guy into the world. But when the doctor gives you the all clear, remember your hubby has been patiently waiting for likely over 6 weeks! Inform your husband of the need to be gentle and slow, and then enjoy the wonderful gift of marriage God gave you. Know it will take time to get back to normal, but you will get there!
5. Pray together. Parenting is hard. Adding a child to the family is a huge transition no matter how many times you've done it. Take time to pray together for your child(ren), for each other, and for any needs you have. Also remember that thank God for the incomparable gift of your child. Even in the hardest days of parenthood, children are such a treasure.

How do you stay connected with your spouse? What are your tips for after the arrival of a baby?

Mary Beth loves Jesus, her husband, and her son. A Southern girl, she enjoys football, a glass of sweet tea, and walking barefoot in the grass. She spends most of her days collecting rocks with her son. She blogs about being a good steward of the gifts God has given her at New Life Steward. You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Linking with: Far Above Rubies; Growing Home; Thankful Homemaker; Time-Warp Wife; Call Me Blessed; Cornerstone Confessions; Lessons from Ivy; To Love, Honor and Vacuum