I got married at the tender age of 19-not-quite-20. I don't regret it one bit--my husband and I are growing up together, get to spend tons of time together, get to learn and experience life together, and will have several married years before we start having children. Marrying my man when I did is the best decision I ever made.
But I'll be the first to admit that I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I got married! Marriage has brought a lot of surprises--some pleasant, some not as much.
I didn't expect that marriage would force me to mature so quickly. In the last almost-two years, I've had to learn to really be an adult. I've had to learn how to be selfless (that's a work in progress). I've had to learn how to handle finances, jobs, taxes, car repairs, medical issues, and more. I have learned to release myself from childhood and from the mindset of being dependent on my parents. Now, my husband and I take care of each other. I knew, cognitively, that all those things would come with marriage, but I didn't realize how quickly I (and my husband) would grow up.
I didn't expect how hard marriage would be. It's so worth it, but it's not always easy.
It's harder than I expected to come up with new date night ideas so we don't fall into the rut of "same ol', same ol'." To keep the house clean, orderly, and comfortable, day in and day out. To keep up with the never-ending jobs of laundry and dishes and scrubbing the toilet. To plan healthy, yummy meals...three times a day, every day (although this job comes more easily to me than others). I didn't expect it to take so much work to die to myself every day and intentionally love my husband the way he needs to be loved, not the way I want to be loved. To bite my tongue instead of letting an angry word slip past my lips when my temper flares. It's a lot more work than I expected.
But there are other things about marriage that are more than I expected. Amazing, wonderful things!
This love that comes out of my heart, directed at this person with whom I share, literally everything, is beyond anything I have ever experienced or could ever imagine. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much... or, just as wondrous, to be loved by them so much. Now I know why God uses the example of marriage to explain to us how much he loves us. It's a love that surpasses description, and cannot be expressed in words.
Marriage is more full of joy than I expected. You know the old adage about how two people can halve each other's sorrows and double each other's joys? Well, in marriage, that is SO true. Happy things are twice as happy. Hard things are twice as easy to bear. I mean, I get to spend the majority of my time with my best friend, who happens to be a really fun person to spend time with, who makes me laugh, who puts a lot of effort into making me happy, who directs me to my Jesus, and who loves me more than I will ever understand (as explained above). How much better can life get?
In marriage, there is more laughter than I expected. There is more encouragement. I didn't realize how much of a team we would be. We're each other's "buddies"--we always have the other's back, and we might sometimes get on each other's nerves, but just let someone else say something mean about us and watch out! We're there for each other. And let's just say... there are other aspects of marriage that have far surpassed my expectations, and I couldn't be more thrilled!
Marriage is so much more work than I expected...and sometimes, it brings pain, because we can hurt the most the ones we love the most.
But those hard things are so worth it, because in marriage, the love, joy, and happiness are so much more than I expected. I am in awe of this gift with which God has blessed us.
And I can't wait to see what other unexpected things life brings our marriage. The future isn't scary, because God is already there, leading us on, and I know that my husband and I will be hand-in-hand every step of the way.
What in your life has been more than you expected? Share in the comments!
Linking with: Exceptionalistic, A Proverbs 31 Wife, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours, The Better Mom, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage, Graced Simplicity
Showing posts with label contentment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label contentment. Show all posts
Monday, April 15, 2013
Thursday, September 13, 2012
apparently I'm growing up...
So I discovered proof of something recently: I'm growing up.
How do I know? Several things:
Joshua and I spent over an hour working on our budget this evening. It was fun.
My goals for this weekend are: get the kitchen clean, and get the bathroom clean.
I'm looking forward to composing a grocery list and a detailed, two-week meal plan tomorrow.
I'd rather watch The Dick van Dyke show than any TV show made in the last 40 years.
A clean kitchen is a joy to my heart.
I would rather sleep than do a lot of other things. (Although I realize this is also true for infants and the elderly, so maybe this isn't so much a sign of growing up as it is of simply being human.)
My bedtime is 10 pm. Even on weekends.
On a similar note, sleeping in means sleeping till 9 am at the latest. Bliss!
Junk food equals homemade pizza and brownies. (Thank goodness.)
I would rather eat oatmeal with flax seed for breakfast than sugary cold cereal (yuck).
And yet, I'm still a 21-year-old college student.
But I'm also married, so maybe that's an explanation for why I feel so weirdly adult.
I realize, of course, that I still have a lot of growing up to do. I haven't had much life experience in comparison to my grandparents, or even my parents. There are so many things left for me to learn and experience.
But let me tell you, for someone whose peers are all still living on a college campus and whose biggest worries are test scores and what mystery food will be served in the cafeteria, it is weird to state all those truths I listed above. I feel... unusual. Isolated. Often misunderstood.
That's why I'm so thankful for the few married, close-to-my-age friends that I do have. Because they understand, and it's so good to have friends who understand. Who get me, who can sympathize, and who know how exciting it is to have a grocery budget over $50 a week. (Not kidding. That's about what I feed us on, and I am so proud of myself.)
This Thursday, and every day, I am thankful for the life God has given me: the good and the bad, because I learn more from mistakes than I do from successes, and I trust God more in hard times than in easy. I'm so very thankful for a husband who loves me even when I'm an idiot, for friends who accept me exactly as I am, for family who are always there when I need them.
Because there's one more reason I've realized that I'm growing up:
I have come to learn that the greatest blessings in life are those that can't be assigned a monetary value. Not things that can be purchased. Blessings that are tangible, but absolutely priceless: family. Friends. Faith. Forgiveness.
No matter how grown-up I get, I hope to always remember that.
Linking up today (for the first time in so long...so grateful!):
black tag diaries, Jenni Mullinix, lovely little whimsy, kate says stuff, First Day of My Life, Passionate and Creative Homemaking
How do I know? Several things:
Joshua and I spent over an hour working on our budget this evening. It was fun.
My goals for this weekend are: get the kitchen clean, and get the bathroom clean.
I'm looking forward to composing a grocery list and a detailed, two-week meal plan tomorrow.
I'd rather watch The Dick van Dyke show than any TV show made in the last 40 years.
A clean kitchen is a joy to my heart.
I would rather sleep than do a lot of other things. (Although I realize this is also true for infants and the elderly, so maybe this isn't so much a sign of growing up as it is of simply being human.)
My bedtime is 10 pm. Even on weekends.
On a similar note, sleeping in means sleeping till 9 am at the latest. Bliss!
Junk food equals homemade pizza and brownies. (Thank goodness.)
I would rather eat oatmeal with flax seed for breakfast than sugary cold cereal (yuck).
And yet, I'm still a 21-year-old college student.
But I'm also married, so maybe that's an explanation for why I feel so weirdly adult.
I realize, of course, that I still have a lot of growing up to do. I haven't had much life experience in comparison to my grandparents, or even my parents. There are so many things left for me to learn and experience.
But let me tell you, for someone whose peers are all still living on a college campus and whose biggest worries are test scores and what mystery food will be served in the cafeteria, it is weird to state all those truths I listed above. I feel... unusual. Isolated. Often misunderstood.
That's why I'm so thankful for the few married, close-to-my-age friends that I do have. Because they understand, and it's so good to have friends who understand. Who get me, who can sympathize, and who know how exciting it is to have a grocery budget over $50 a week. (Not kidding. That's about what I feed us on, and I am so proud of myself.)
This Thursday, and every day, I am thankful for the life God has given me: the good and the bad, because I learn more from mistakes than I do from successes, and I trust God more in hard times than in easy. I'm so very thankful for a husband who loves me even when I'm an idiot, for friends who accept me exactly as I am, for family who are always there when I need them.
Because there's one more reason I've realized that I'm growing up:
I have come to learn that the greatest blessings in life are those that can't be assigned a monetary value. Not things that can be purchased. Blessings that are tangible, but absolutely priceless: family. Friends. Faith. Forgiveness.
No matter how grown-up I get, I hope to always remember that.
Linking up today (for the first time in so long...so grateful!):
black tag diaries, Jenni Mullinix, lovely little whimsy, kate says stuff, First Day of My Life, Passionate and Creative Homemaking
Thursday, May 24, 2012
don't worry, be {thankful}
One of the biggest ways the devil tries to trip me up in life is by getting me to worry. If you read my ramblings here much at all you probably know that.
The biggest thing I have to worry about most of the time is money. How can we make more? Can we start setting money aside for a new car? How can I afford to get my husband something for our anniversary next week? And on and on.
I KNOW several things:
1) God always provides.
2) God knows what I need.
3) God will not let us be destitute.
4) In comparison to millions of people, we have a lot.
5) We have never gone hungry, never gone without electricity, never been without a home, clothes, or anything important.
6) God specifically says in his Word, "Do not worry" (Matthew 6:25).
I know all that. I know how blessed we are. But sometimes it's really hard to not worry...after all, I'm a sinful person.
The other night I was worrying, again, about money (as usual). We were already in bed, and I started freaking out a little. My wonderful (amazing, wise, loving, caring, sweet) husband reassured me in so many ways. He reminded me how God has always provided in the past. He came up with ideas of ways to stretch the money we do have (we're still taking a little anniversary getaway!!!). He sang me a little song, the lyrics of which are Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future." I know those words were told to the Israelites, but I know they apply to me as well.
It meant so much to me that my husband did this, especially because when I worry (particularly when it's out loud), it hurts him, too--it communicates that I don't trust God or my husband to take care of me. Worrying is my way of trying to be in control...but as a child of God and a wife I am not supposed to be in control! I am supposed to submit to and trust both God and my husband to care for me.
That doesn't mean I sit back and don't do anything to help. Just this week I worked a seven-hour workday between my cleaning and my library jobs. I keep busy at home. I do my best to save us money. And God blessed us this week with lots of food from our dear friends who are moving away.
So I guess what I'm saying in all this rambling is...I'm working on it. The whole not-worrying-just-trusting thing. And being thankful. Because that's what it comes down to: when I'm thankful, I'm not worrying; I'm remembering all that God has done for me. And it is so much!
{things I'm thankful for this week}
-rain. finally. for all the farmers around here who need it so much.
-an amazing, although whirlwind, weekend with my family for my brother's graduation.
-a surprise visit from my best high school friend while we were at my parents'!! it was AWESOME!!
-waking up to a clean house every day. finally getting the hang of this thing.
-a newly stocked fridge, freezer and pantry from our friends' fridge, freezer and pantry!
-amazing friends. Ruth and Joseph. Love them so much...going to miss them so much (but they'll be back!)
-coffee and doughnuts today, with hubby and then R&J before they left
-quiet mornings at home
-forty followers! amazing! thanks all!!
-300+ posts...can't believe how far I've come with this blogging thing
-my incredible, hardworking, sweet, sexy, loving husband
-God's constant love, forgiveness and grace
linking up with all these lovely blogs today!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
comforts of home
As I write there is oatmeal bread in the oven, just about done, and vegetable-beef soup on the stove (I didn't realize how long of a project that is, but oh it's going to be worth it!). Joshua and I have been lounging in pajama pants and t-shirts since we got home from church. It's been a wonderful, relaxing, couple-bonding day. And I got to do some cleaning and cooking, so I'm pretty happy. :)
It's amazing how my emotions rise and fall, how days and weeks can have such a combination of bad and good. Whoever first compared life to a roller coaster sure had it right.
That's just how it is here on earth, I suppose. The good parts more than make up for the bad. God is gracious, even though we're living in a world of sin. He lets us experience little glimpses of his glory, his goodness, and the perfection that he is preparing for us in heaven. So many good gifts fill every single day, more than I can count, and far more than I ever thank God properly for. And yet he keeps them coming.
This marriage-thing is wonderful: on the days when I'm sad or upset or frustrated, Joshua is there to help ease them. On the days when I'm being a snotty little brat (because I sure can be!), he is there to put me in my place and help make me aware of my sinfulness. And on the days when I'm happy, content, and joyful, he shares in those things and makes them all the more sweet.
Today I'm reveling in these comforts:
comfy clothes
comfort food
a warm home
a calm, relaxed mind
the gentle presence of my husband
the peaceful presence of the Holy Spirit.
It's a good day today.
It's amazing how my emotions rise and fall, how days and weeks can have such a combination of bad and good. Whoever first compared life to a roller coaster sure had it right.
That's just how it is here on earth, I suppose. The good parts more than make up for the bad. God is gracious, even though we're living in a world of sin. He lets us experience little glimpses of his glory, his goodness, and the perfection that he is preparing for us in heaven. So many good gifts fill every single day, more than I can count, and far more than I ever thank God properly for. And yet he keeps them coming.
This marriage-thing is wonderful: on the days when I'm sad or upset or frustrated, Joshua is there to help ease them. On the days when I'm being a snotty little brat (because I sure can be!), he is there to put me in my place and help make me aware of my sinfulness. And on the days when I'm happy, content, and joyful, he shares in those things and makes them all the more sweet.
Today I'm reveling in these comforts:
comfy clothes
comfort food
a warm home
a calm, relaxed mind
the gentle presence of my husband
the peaceful presence of the Holy Spirit.
It's a good day today.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Blessings this Thursday
Lipstick on the edge of the cup that held a "Caramel Royal" (aka a Caramel Machiatto!).
Reading my story, aloud, to a whole class. Encouragement from our professor.
A poetry presentation. Feeling confident and prepared in front of the room. Insights from classmates that I never would have thought of.
Laughter at the beginning of philosophy: grammar-related. A funny email that the professor shared with us. :)
Sitting downstairs (instead of in the balcony) with a beloved teacher for chapel.
Unexpected income from babysitting.
A blustery, leaves-in-the-air autumn day.
Rain and sunshine, chill and warmth, clouds and blue skies, all in the same day.
The joy and singing of a four-year-old.
Sandwiches and chocolate for lunch (thanks to my awesome hubby).
Ten extra hours of work this week: extra income. Financial breather.
Good health. Healing hubby.
My husband suggested that I get a new dress for the homecoming dance. I'm going "thrifting" with a friend to get it. :) <3
Work. An education.
Home. Bed. Kitchen.
So many more...so many gifts. All is grace.
linking up to black tag diaries for Thankful Thursday!
Reading my story, aloud, to a whole class. Encouragement from our professor.
A poetry presentation. Feeling confident and prepared in front of the room. Insights from classmates that I never would have thought of.
Laughter at the beginning of philosophy: grammar-related. A funny email that the professor shared with us. :)
Sitting downstairs (instead of in the balcony) with a beloved teacher for chapel.
Unexpected income from babysitting.
A blustery, leaves-in-the-air autumn day.
Rain and sunshine, chill and warmth, clouds and blue skies, all in the same day.
The joy and singing of a four-year-old.
Sandwiches and chocolate for lunch (thanks to my awesome hubby).
Ten extra hours of work this week: extra income. Financial breather.
Good health. Healing hubby.
My husband suggested that I get a new dress for the homecoming dance. I'm going "thrifting" with a friend to get it. :) <3
Work. An education.
Home. Bed. Kitchen.
So many more...so many gifts. All is grace.
linking up to black tag diaries for Thankful Thursday!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Peacefulness and Thankfulness
All I hear is the gentle ticking of the clock. It's a constant reminder of the one in my parents' living room: if I were to close my eyes, I could imagine myself there.
It's almost completely silent besides the clock this morning. 9:30 on a Sunday, I'm up, my husband is still asleep on the other side of the wall. Curiously, I notice that I'm filled with an inner peace. I've felt it before, but not for a while, or at least I haven't been aware of it for some time. There's no worrying, no frustration, no distress.
Thank you God.
I'm content with my life, with who I am, with the way things are. The silence makes me peaceful, too. I know there are dishes in the sink and church clothes to decide on, but that's okay. There's no rush this morning.
It's nice, this feeling that everything is all right with the world. I don't always feel this way. Sometimes the worry takes over, my imagination running wild with "what if"s. And I destroy my own inner peace. I know why. It's because I try to figure everything out for myself, by myself. I don't always have to understand the why's or how's. This contentment that I feel? It's a "peace that surpasses understanding." The Holy Spirit doesn't think like I do. He doesn't let worry get in his way. He has the ability to snuff anxiety out like a tiny candle, and replace it with this gentle, comfortable, relaxing feeling--my breathing is even and slow, my features are relaxed, my stomach is knot-less, and no unhappy thought is filling my head.
This is what happens when I let God take control of my life. Trying to do it myself never really works. God's much better at handling my life than I am. If only I could remember that all the time: give in to this sweet surrender, let Him take care of everything, every day.
Every morning could feel like this, with the Spirit filling my home and my heart.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
"Your beauty...should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth to God." -1 Peter 3:3a & 4
It's almost completely silent besides the clock this morning. 9:30 on a Sunday, I'm up, my husband is still asleep on the other side of the wall. Curiously, I notice that I'm filled with an inner peace. I've felt it before, but not for a while, or at least I haven't been aware of it for some time. There's no worrying, no frustration, no distress.
Thank you God.
I'm content with my life, with who I am, with the way things are. The silence makes me peaceful, too. I know there are dishes in the sink and church clothes to decide on, but that's okay. There's no rush this morning.
It's nice, this feeling that everything is all right with the world. I don't always feel this way. Sometimes the worry takes over, my imagination running wild with "what if"s. And I destroy my own inner peace. I know why. It's because I try to figure everything out for myself, by myself. I don't always have to understand the why's or how's. This contentment that I feel? It's a "peace that surpasses understanding." The Holy Spirit doesn't think like I do. He doesn't let worry get in his way. He has the ability to snuff anxiety out like a tiny candle, and replace it with this gentle, comfortable, relaxing feeling--my breathing is even and slow, my features are relaxed, my stomach is knot-less, and no unhappy thought is filling my head.
This is what happens when I let God take control of my life. Trying to do it myself never really works. God's much better at handling my life than I am. If only I could remember that all the time: give in to this sweet surrender, let Him take care of everything, every day.
Every morning could feel like this, with the Spirit filling my home and my heart.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
"Your beauty...should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth to God." -1 Peter 3:3a & 4
Friday, September 2, 2011
Blessings.
Thankfulness is the antidote to worry, the source of peace. ~my mom
I am thankful for the warm sun and sweet-smelling breeze outside, and the cool air conditioning inside!
I am thankful for my professors, who are eager to help me learn.
I am thankful for my friends, who brighten my days with hugs and smiles and kind words.
I am thankful for the opportunity to attend such a fantastic college.
I am thankful for the food that God has given us to nourish and strengthen our bodies.
I am thankful for our physical health and strength.
I am thankful for naps with my head in my husband's lap.
I'm thankful for leisurely lunches on a big, beautiful deck.
I'm thankful for my fun, relaxing job in the library.
I'm thankful for the many people I work with who make working more enjoyable and rewarding.
I'm thankful for my classmates, intelligent, quirky, funny, all. :)
I'm thankful for the beautiful home God has given Hubby and me to live in.
I'm SO very thankful for our loving, kind, prayer-warring, supportive, generous family.
I'm thankful that we're blessed to be a blessing to others.
I am more thankful than I can express for my incredible husband: he's thoughtful, hard-working, romantic, generous, kind, funny, sweet, sexy, loving, and overall amazing. :)
I am most thankful for a gift that isn't tangible but worth more than everything else combined: the fact that God loves me, calls me his own, forgives me daily, and has promised me eternal life with him.
I am thankful for the warm sun and sweet-smelling breeze outside, and the cool air conditioning inside!
I am thankful for my professors, who are eager to help me learn.
I am thankful for my friends, who brighten my days with hugs and smiles and kind words.
I am thankful for the opportunity to attend such a fantastic college.
I am thankful for the food that God has given us to nourish and strengthen our bodies.
I am thankful for our physical health and strength.
I am thankful for naps with my head in my husband's lap.
I'm thankful for leisurely lunches on a big, beautiful deck.
I'm thankful for my fun, relaxing job in the library.
I'm thankful for the many people I work with who make working more enjoyable and rewarding.
I'm thankful for my classmates, intelligent, quirky, funny, all. :)
I'm thankful for the beautiful home God has given Hubby and me to live in.
I'm SO very thankful for our loving, kind, prayer-warring, supportive, generous family.
I'm thankful that we're blessed to be a blessing to others.
I am more thankful than I can express for my incredible husband: he's thoughtful, hard-working, romantic, generous, kind, funny, sweet, sexy, loving, and overall amazing. :)
I am most thankful for a gift that isn't tangible but worth more than everything else combined: the fact that God loves me, calls me his own, forgives me daily, and has promised me eternal life with him.
Monday, August 29, 2011
When things don't make sense (to me)
If you've read this blog for any length of time, or know me personally at all, you know that one of the biggest things I struggle with is trust.
Why does this have to happen? What does it mean? How is God teaching me in this? Who do I blame when things don't go the way I want them to? (Usually I blame myself...)
I have so many questions. I want answers to all the problems in my life. I want to know why life is so blasted hard sometimes.
But the long and short of it is, it's not for me to know. My times, my life, are in God's hands. HE sees my future. HE has a plan for me--a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
God doesn't hurt me. He's all good; he can't! He can and does allow bad things to happen to me...but because I am his child, called according to his purpose, he will work out all things for good (Romans 8:28).
I am a fallible human being. I can't see the future. I don't know what tomorrow will hold, or even the next hour or next minute. I can't control the way my life will go, so there's no sense worrying about it. As a weak and fragile human being, I can't handle all the worries and frustrations of this life.
But God can.
And he wants to! He wants to take my troubles, worries and sorrows off my shoulders and onto his. He wants to give me peace and comfort in return. I simply have to let go and stop being such a control freak!
So when things don't make sense to me, I know they make sense to the God who loves me, who created me, who has a purpose for me, who always has my best interests at heart, and who can see and holds my future in his all-mighty hands.
Why does this have to happen? What does it mean? How is God teaching me in this? Who do I blame when things don't go the way I want them to? (Usually I blame myself...)
I have so many questions. I want answers to all the problems in my life. I want to know why life is so blasted hard sometimes.
But the long and short of it is, it's not for me to know. My times, my life, are in God's hands. HE sees my future. HE has a plan for me--a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
God doesn't hurt me. He's all good; he can't! He can and does allow bad things to happen to me...but because I am his child, called according to his purpose, he will work out all things for good (Romans 8:28).
I am a fallible human being. I can't see the future. I don't know what tomorrow will hold, or even the next hour or next minute. I can't control the way my life will go, so there's no sense worrying about it. As a weak and fragile human being, I can't handle all the worries and frustrations of this life.
But God can.
And he wants to! He wants to take my troubles, worries and sorrows off my shoulders and onto his. He wants to give me peace and comfort in return. I simply have to let go and stop being such a control freak!
So when things don't make sense to me, I know they make sense to the God who loves me, who created me, who has a purpose for me, who always has my best interests at heart, and who can see and holds my future in his all-mighty hands.
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