Attitude {Like that of Christ Jesus}

Welcome to visitors from the A to Z Challenge!  Please leave a comment to let me know you're here, and check out other posts that pique your interest!  Mondays are Marriage Mondays at Living in the Light.

"Don't give me that attitude, young lady!"  That's what comes to my mind when I hear the word attitude.  Of course, when my mother said that to me growing up, it was definitely always because I deserved it!  But the word seems to often have a negative connotation.

According to dictionary.com, the word simply means "manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind."

I want to consider what kind of attitude we have in marriage.  How is my attitude toward my husband?  How is yours toward your spouse?  How is your "disposition, feeling, position, etc." when it comes to marriage?

My attitude can sometimes be loving, especially when my husband has been sweet and helpful, when he hasn't left dirty dishes or laundry lying around, when he's been affectionate.  But in that case, my attitude is dependent on my husband's actions toward me.  That's reasonable, I suppose, but is it right?

Let's see what Scripture has to say about it.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!  Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  Philippians 2:3-11 (NIV)

Jesus Christ, God's Son, God himself, humbled himself to the ultimate point.  We just celebrated yesterday his resurrection from the dead--but he wouldn't have had to rise if he hadn't allowed himself to be humiliated and killed on a cross.

This, Paul wrote to the Philippians, is the attitude we are to have: that of humility, considering others better than ourselves.  Paul doesn't advocate self-loathing, but he is encouraging his readers (that's us!) to put others first.

I have already found from experience that when I do this in my marriage, my husband's and my relationship greatly benefits from it.  When each of us is seeking to serve the other person, instead of paying attention to only our own needs and wants, we're both happier.  When we act in a selfless manner toward the other, we both feel loved so very much, because in doing that we're demonstrating that each of us is the most important person in the other's life.

It might seem counter-intuitive to live in such a way.  "Gotta look out for number one," after all.  But following what comes naturally doesn't always work out.  By nature we're sinful, selfish human beings.  It's because of Jesus' sacrifice in our place that we have the ability to live as he did--selflessly.  Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for us: his own life.  He loves us so much that he was willing to suffer indescribable humiliation and agony, so that we could be forgiven--and so that we could imitate him.

By God's grace, we're able to show each other Christ-like humility and selflessness--in all our relationships, but especially in marriage.

I'm going to keep working on this in my own marriage.  Try it for yourself!  See what happens when you start putting your spouse first.  The results just may be even better than you thought.

I'd like to give a shout-out to Arlee Bird, the fantastic blogger who started this A to Z Challenge three years ago!  Head over to his blog and say hello!

Linking today:  A Proverbs 31 Wife, What Joy is Mine, The Better Mom, Yes They Are All Ours, Countrified Hicks

Wow, three posts in one day!

My first post of today was very "me-centered."  I'm going to leave it as an example of what I DON'T want to do with my posts.

It's not about me.  Life isn't.  It's about the One who created me, who loves me, and who holds my life in his hands.

I was talking with my friend Sara yesterday about how mind-boggling it is, what Christ has done for us.  God came down to earth to live as a human, with all the pain and frustrations and inconveniences that that entails.  He was treated poorly, and at the end of his earthly life was mocked, beaten, whipped, spit upon, jeered at, and finally nailed to a rough cross of wood.

To the Jews who witnessed that, it was the most humiliating death a person could experience: the death of a criminal.  If only they had known that He was there because He had chosen to be.  That He had chosen to experience hell, quite literally, in order that mankind wouldn't have to.  That those who believed in Him and what He had done and that He had done it for them, without any help from them, that they might live.  Eternally.  With the One who loved them so much.

Not only that, but Sara and I talked about how much we still sin against God, despite what He's done for us.  And then, most mind-blowing of all, how He DAILY forgives us from all those sins!  What Jesus suffered on the cross was one payment for all sins of all people of all time.  He already took care of it ALL!  And He forgives every sin of every day.  No matter how many there are.

THAT is grace.  THAT is love.
Well, that's God.

Love Trusts: 1 Corinthians 13

I used to consider myself a person of pretty strong faith.  I have, in the last few months and even the last couple of years, come to realize that I have a lot to learn about trust.  I am a very take-charge person and that can translate to bossiness, micromanaging, control freak...you get the picture.  I am used to taking care of myself, planning out my life, and sometimes managing (ok, butting in to) the lives of those closest to me.

This afternoon in one of my classes, a classmate quoted 1 Corinthians 13:7: "[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Here are a few other versions of the same verse:
"[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (NKJV)


"Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]." (Amplified)


"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,^(N) endures all things." (ESV)


I like how the Amplified version translates it.  That's basically how my professor explained the passage: Love is ready to believe the best of people; it trusts them on the basis of love.  It's not a blind belief or trust, but one that says "I love you and I know you love me so I'm going to trust you."


This is the kind of love we can have with God.  This is the kind of love and trust I should be striving for in my relationship with God, and in a human relationship also.


My problem, I think, is the common human misconception that I know best.  This is quite false, of course.  I don't know best.  God does.  And he is in authority over me, he has put others in authority over me, and it is hugely beneficial to me to put myself under the care of those who are in loving authority over me.

It's really quite silly, when I stop to think about it, for me to try to do everything on my own and control every aspect of my life.  It might seem scary to let God manage our lives- I mean, it's our lives, after all, right?  But a whole life is a pretty huge thing to manage alone.  God is a pretty huge God, and he can handle our lives even when they're too much for us.  Not only that, but he's put people in our lives to help us along the way: spouses, parents, friends.

As I strive to love the way God loves, I am going to trust as love trusts.

Priorities

In Luke chapter ten, an "expert in the law" tried to test Jesus by asking him, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?"  Jesus asked him what he had read in the Law (the Old Testament, the Torah) and the man replied, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind', and 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"  This led into the parable of the Good Samaritan, when the man asked Jesus who his neighbor was.  (See Luke 10:25-27)

When I was in Sunday School, one thing I learned was an acronym for JOY:
Jesus
Others
You

You will have joy, I was told, if your priorities are in this order.

A bit law-heavy, I feel, but it makes a good point nonetheless.  When God is my first priority and first interest, when I seek to love, honor and obey him in everything, then everything else falls into place.  When I am obeying God, then I will be loving and serving my neighbor--all those around me.  And I will have joy and contentment in obedience and loving others.  Paul wrote to the Philippians, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."  (2:3-6)  Paul continues with a beautiful, hymn-like poem detailing the life, ministry, and humility of Jesus, "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!" (2:6-8)

Jesus, although he was "in very nature God", did not take advantage of that equality.  He had his priorities in order: He first and foremost obeyed God, his Father, and then spent his entire ministry serving everyone with whom he came in contact.  His ultimate act of service was to give his own life for the sins of the whole world. If that's not an example of ultimate selflessness and sacrifice, I don't know what is.

Now, we as Christians aren't all called upon to die for others and for what we believe in.  But we can LIVE for God and for everyone around us!  I know if I was more focused on others than myself most of the time, my life would probably be a lot less frustrating.  I experienced the consequences of my own selfishness several times, rather painfully, this last week.

But I can imitate Christ.  I have the ultimate Example of Selflessness and Love and Giving and Kindness to emulate.  I will never do it perfectly, no.  But that same Example desires to help me imitate him, and when I fail, he's always ready to remind me of his forgiveness.

Today, by the grace of God, I want to imitate Christ.