I'm not normal.

I'm not normal.

If you're a regular reader around here you probably know that already.
"Normal" is what conforms to our culture. Our culture does not recognize Jesus as Lord; it has warped ideas of marriage, family, and sexuality; it encourages us to spend what we want when we want regardless of our income.
By that standard, I am very abnormal.

• I am a follower of Jesus in a world that hates--and sometimes, what is often worse, ignores--him.
• I am committed to honor, respect and even submit to my husband, Biblically, as the Church submits to Christ (aka, place myself under his loving care and leadership, not become a doormat).
• I am a homemaker and proud of it. I do not seek validation from a conventional career, although I do also work outside the home.
• I and my husband plan to homeschool our children as we were also educated at home, and feel that as future parents it would be best for us to be the primary influence in our future children's lives (radical, huh?).
• I and my husband gladly and frugally live within our means and don't have any credit card debt. We rent an apartment (for now), drive a used car, and don't spend more than we make.
• I believe in Biblical femininity--in embracing my God-given role as a woman.
• I believe that sex is an amazing gift of God, designed to be enjoyed within a marriage by a husband and wife (one man and one woman).
• I strive to avoid eating and cooking with processed foods, and cleaning with natural, inexpensive products.

(See all the links in the text above? Click on those to read more in-depth posts I've written on those topics.)

Paul wrote to the Romans, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:1-2)

Jesus said to his disciples (which includes believers who follow him), "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. " (John 15:18-19)

Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:3-6)

Peter wrote, "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." (1 Peter 2:11)

Scripture itself tells me that I'm not "normal" by the world's standards. I am not to conform to the pattern of the world; I do not belong to the word; I do not fight with the weapons of the world; I am, in fact, an alien and stranger in the world.

I am a child of God: heaven is my eternal home, and therefore I live my life with an eternal perspective--this life is not all there is.

So, no, I'm not normal. And that's just how it should be.

A Beautiful Home

One of the jobs in which I delight the most is making and keeping our home a beautiful, welcoming place.  The home is the family's base.  It is Spirit-filled, and ideally, a calm, relaxing and welcoming environment, not just for the family but for everyone who enters it.

The job of keeping a place like this is a humbling one, and one which I take very seriously.  As a full-time college student who also works outside the home part-time, my schedule is quite full, and I have to keep my various responsibilities prioritized.  After being a wife, being a homemaker is my favorite job, so it's near the top of my priority list.  I should say here that it is primarily my job alone, but Joshua and I make a great team.  He helps me out a lot with keeping the house organized, doing dishes, cleaning, taking out the trash, doing laundry, etc.  Just as at this time in our life I don't expect him to do all the money-earning by himself, so he doesn't expect me to do all the housework by myself.

That said, being the woman, I am pretty much in charge of keeping the home.  Doing dishes and laundry are two of my least favorite things to do, but I knew when I got married what I was getting myself in for (at least some of it!).  The main purpose for all I do at home is to glorify God.  Bottom line, when I wash dishes, scrub the toilet, and make the bed, I'm doing it for God.  I am fulfilling the vocation in which he has placed me, and doing the work he has set me to do.  But I'm also doing it for my husband, because I want our home to be a place to which he loves to return.  And finally, I do housework for myself, because I take great satisfaction in seeing a sparkling bathroom, a clean and organized kitchen, and a dusted and vacuumed living room!

That's the why of what I do at home.  As for the how...

-I try to keep on top of clutter.  Some days I'm not home much, and I get behind.  But I try not to let junk/dishes accumulate.
-I recommend always washing dishes immediately after eating.  I wish I did this more; when I do, it's a great feeling!
-This semester I have a weekly pattern for cleaning jobs.  That has helped considerably, especially putting time to do those jobs in my daily schedule.  Things don't usually get done if time is not set aside specifically for them.
-It's my goal to have a place for everything, and to keep everything in its place.  This doesn't always happen. But I like having baskets and little crates to keep like things together-- for magazines under the TV table, for candles on top of the fridge, for various personal care products in the bathroom.  Command hooks are one of my favorite tools--I recently hung up three by our front door, hung fabric bags on them, and filled the bags with scarves, hats and gloves, to keep them handy but tidy.  A couple purses and a light jacket are also on those hooks.
-I like having flat surfaces as bare as possible.  This means putting away the things that pile up on my desk, clearing off the end table, and putting away DVD cases instead of stacking them on the TV table.  This also includes keeping the kitchen table and counters clean and organized.
-Shelves are my friends, especially low ones (waist-height or lower).  The tops can then be used, if necessary, for storage or for decorations.  We have three such sets in our living room, for books, movies, and games.  Under the games shelf is room to neatly tuck away our shoes.  In a small apartment (we live in about 1000 square feet), everything is multi-purpose.
-I love having living things inside.  We are blessed with big south- and west-facing windows, so I have two viny plants; one in the living room and one in the kitchen.  I think this adds warmth and homeyness to a room.


Bottom line, I want our home to be a place where God is obviously present, a place my husband and I love to come home to, and a place where our friends and family feel welcome and peaceful.  That does not mean that my home is always spotless.  I don't always keep on top of things the way I should.  Sometimes higher priorities--relationships--need to come before the cleaning; but that, I think, is the way it should be.  When my husband wants to play a game together, I put aside the supper dishes.  When a friend comes over to talk, I ignore the pile of clothes in the bedroom.  I focus on what's most important.

Having a beautiful home is wonderful, and a good thing.  But it is my desire to balance that with those things in my life with eternal significance.

What do you do to make your home a beautiful, welcoming place?  Do you have any ideas or tips to share?  Let's talk!

Linking with The Alabaster Jar, The Better Mom, & What Joy is Mine

One of My Passions: Homeschooling

No, I'm not a mom yet, but I am a proud veteran of ten years of homeschooling and a homeschool high school graduate!  I just had a (facebook) chat with a blogging friend who's a wife and mama and had some questions about homeschooling.  I realized I've mentioned homeschooling before, but never wrote about it much.  It's high time to share this important part of my life!!  Here's my side of the conversation, edited slightly.

My parents' philosophy was that they wanted their children to learn ABOUT the world but not be IN it while learning about it. They wanted to teach their children (my siblings and me) what God says about the world, how we should live, and what we should believe.  This is Biblical!  In the book of Deuteronomy God says, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about then when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 11:18-19).

My parents wanted to be the primary influence on their kids, instead of having peers and other non-family be the primary influence. After all, who knows children better than their parents?  Who cares about children more than their parents?  When parents are in charge of their children's education, they determine what and how their children learn and at what pace. Parents can certainly expose their children to other people, experiences, and places; homeschooling one's children doesn't mean those children have to be sheltered.

In fact, homeschooling provides opportunities for children to have experiences that public school doesn't. For example, I was in a community choir, church choir, and a homeschool co-op group; I visited Hong Kong my freshman year of high school, went on youth trips, had time for a job during the school year in high school, and spent the last half of my senior year in Indonesia.

Of course, being sheltered is certainly not necessarily a bad thing. Between media, peer influences, and just the way the world is in general, I WANT my children to be sheltered until they're old and mature enough to handle what the world will throw at them. In a storm, shelter is a VERY good thing.

Just as I wouldn't put my child outside in inclement weather without proper protection and preparation, I don't want my children exposed to "the world" till they're ready to deal with it.  Do I ever wish I had gone to a public or parochial school?  Never. I am so very thankful that I was homeschooled.  Did I "miss out" on some experiences that my regular-schooled friends had? Yes, thing like peer pressure, being away from my family all the time, exposure to drugs, alcohol, sex and violence, etc, etc, etc.  My friends went on cool trips. So did I. They were in choir and other school activities. So was I.  I didn’t miss out on the good stuff.

What most people mean when they say they don't want their kids to be "sheltered” is that they don’t want them to not have friends and lots of different experiences. The biggest question homeschoolers get is "What about socialization?" Well, what about it?  I interacted with people of all ages for my whole childhood. I became comfortable taking care of little children and having mature conversations with adults. That was better preparation for the real world than spending my childhood surrounded by peers who were just as immature as I was.  Some homeschooling parents do their kids a disservice by keeping them at home all the time. That's not a good thing.  Smart parents will provide opportunities for their children to make friends, have new experiences, and meet different kinds of people.

If you’re a stay-at-home parent, you’re already “homeschooling.” That means you are your child’s primary influence, not some daycare director and a bunch of other kids.

You're teaching him everything he knows, providing opportunities for him to meet new people and learn about the world around him. You're exposing her to new things as well as protecting her from things that she's not ready to experience.  That IS homeschooling. 

I’m forever thankful that my parents chose to educate me at home.  It paid off in so many ways and was completely worth it.  Not only have I had many amazing experiences, but I’ve had opportunities to make lifelong friends, and I got an excellent education and good grades on top of it!  I’ve barely touched on the positive academic aspect of homeschooling, but I’ll save that for another post!