Getting married can be an expensive event, and not just for the bride and groom--for their parents and even their guests. Ceremonies are elaborate, receptions are lavish, and wedding registries are often at pricey, upscale stores.
You might know this already, but there is a way to have a beautiful, memorable wedding day without breaking the bank! If you can save money, time and stress in planning your wedding, you can put more energy into planning for your marriage, which is so much more important. A wedding is one day--your marriage is for life!
That said, I know most girls dream about having a beautiful, fairy-tale day. I hope these suggestions can help you do that while keeping to a modest budget!
Simplicity is a good thing.
If you're getting married in a pretty church, you shouldn't need many decorations. We just had candles and tulle bows on the ends of the pews, and a bouquet of flowers on the altar. We didn't have our reception at a fancy hotel or reception hall (see "Think outside the box"). You don't need to have ribeye steak and a big open bar. People are at your wedding to celebrate your marriage--if they want to go out later for a five-course-dinner, they can.
Do it yourself.
There are SO many things you could do yourself! I have a friend who made her own wedding dress. If you know someone with sewing skills, this would be an option even if you aren't a seamstress (for more on that, see "Enlist friends and family to help").
We didn't hire a wedding planner. I decided where things would happen, when, and who our vendors were. Unless you're planning on having your wedding at a venue that requires you to have a planner (which if you're trying to save money, I don't really suggest), you don't need one.
You could ask a friend with excellent amateur photography skills to take your pictures (pay them, of course) instead of hiring a professional whose fees will be higher.
Instead of a DJ, I made a CD with our favorite songs that we played over the PA system for the dance. A live band or DJ aren't necessary unless that's one of your priorities.
Enlist friends and family to help.
We had friends do the decorating for the ceremony and reception. A friend of my mom's came over to do all the girls' hair, partly because our wedding was on a Sunday and our usual stylist couldn't come. Two of my bridesmaids did my makeup. My mom practiced doing French tip manicures for weeks and did them beautifully on all the girls. (We saved a ton of money this way!)
We paid the lady who did flowers for us, but she wasn't a florist, just someone we knew with a knack for flower-arranging who does it a lot. She was able to find a lot of things that were blooming in season, so we didn't have to order out-of-season flowers.
Instead of hiring caterers, we ordered food from the deli at our local grocery store (broasted chicken, cheesy potatoes, and rolls), bought fruit and vegetables to be made into salads, and had four dear couples from our church take care of all the food pick-up, prep, and serving (they had volunteered to serve at my wedding when I was in high school!). Ask around--between both of your families, and the congregation of your church, you can definitely find people willing to help you out.
Look for bargains.
The place we had the reception had a much lower rate on Sundays, and after talking with the manager, we were able to have our "decorators" go in on Saturday to decorate without getting charged for the extra day.
Joshua and the groomsmen wore suits instead of renting tuxes--a better investment in the long run, because Joshua still wears his suit.
I wore my mom's wedding dress, and all it needed was $40 worth of alterations. I wore her veil, too, and bought a tiara off Amazon to wear with it instead of the original cap. Some second-hand stores will have really great wedding dresses that you can get cleaned and fixed up for a fraction of the price you would pay for buying a new one.
Instead of renting expensive dishes and glassware, since the reception site didn't have that available, we used high-quality, color-coordinating paper plates and napkins and plastic silverware and cups. Oriental Trading is a great source for these things. We even found plastic flatware that was colored silver so it really looked metal. You can get these things personalized (we still have napkins with our names and the date!) for a fraction of the cost of linens and dishes. Plus, there's a lot less clean-up!
Borrow things you won't use much again.
Like the wedding dress, for example. We also borrowed a lot of our decorations--mirrors, vases, lights, fake greenery, table cloths. A friend had two children who had gotten married a couple years previously, and she saved all their decorations.
Think outside the box (or reception hall, or cake).
We had our reception at our city's arts center. It's not a huge place, but we had room for our reception of about 75 people. I had been in plays there in high school so I knew the manager personally, which meant they were willing to negotiate with us. It ended up costing only about $75 to rent the place for the weekend. It was just a couple blocks from the church and half a mile from the grocery store where we got the food, so it worked out perfectly.
Instead of a regular cake, we ordered cupcakes! We were able to have three different varieties, and it was less messy (and required less serving ware) than regular cake. We also had a cake reception at the church, right after the ceremony, for all the guests, and then had a smaller group (family, close friends, and out-of-town guests) for the dinner later.
We asked an acquaintance who also happens to be a Christian contemporary singer to sing for our wedding. I didn't think he would be able to, but he said he was glad to, and then hardly charged us a thing! It was so much more meaningful than just hiring a string quartet or something. If you know someone with really great musical talent, see if they'd be willing to provide special music for the ceremony and/or reception.
Do things your way.
You don't have to have organ music, get married at a church (although that I do recommend, but parks are lovely), have a big, fancy reception at a hotel or country club, have 500 guests, put them up at the most expensive hotel in town, etc, etc.
You don't have to order all your bridesmaids' dresses from David's Bridal (although I did, and they were great). I have a friend getting hers from Modcloth. You could even have your bridesmaids wear dresses they already own, and just pick a common color.
My point is, it's YOUR wedding. As long as Christ is central, the sky is the limit! Be creative, let your wedding reflect you, and remember what's important.
Put more money toward lasting, important things.
The photos, for example. Your wedding pictures will last decades past the actual day, and that's something that can't be said for the flowers, cake or decorations.
Put aside money for a honeymoon, but remember that you don't have to go all-out for that if you don't want to, either. I know a lot of people go to Hawaii or on a cruise or to Italy or whatever, but we went to a bed and breakfast (a really nice one!) in the same town where we got married, which happens to be where my parents live. We stayed there for two nights, flew home, and spent another night in a nice hotel suite because Joshua's parents paid for it for us. Then we had a week together getting used to sharing an apartment before Joshua went back to work. And it was great! Someday I'd love to go on a big trip together, but it wasn't the distance that mattered--it was being together, having a great time (which we did), and getting to know each other as husband and wife.
Remember to plan for your marriage as you're planning for your wedding. I highly recommend seeing your pastor for pre-marital counseling. You can work through a lot of things on your own, but it's very helpful to have someone who's trained to be a counselor and spiritual leader help you look at things you might not have thought about. It was a very helpful process for us, and enjoyable, too.
Now it's your turn: What tips do you have for low-budget wedding planning? Talk with me! :)
Linking with The Alabaster Jar, Countrified Hicks, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, Exceptionalistic, Growing Home, Fancy Little Things
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2013
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Our Love Story {Part Three}
If you've missed them or would like to read them again, here are Parts One and Two of our love story.
The night we figured out that we liked each other, Joshua and I had gotten together with a couple other people to watch South Pacific. I figured that between the music, the WWII action, and the story, Joshua and I would both enjoy it.
Sitting to his left on a couch, with my roommate and two guys from Joshua's hall in a public lounge, I started to realize that the movie was more significant than I had thought, especially as our companions started leaving with a variety of excuses.
As Emile sang in a rich, deep bass, "Some enchanted evening/ you may see a stranger/ you may see a stranger/ across a crowded room,/ and somehow you know/ you know even then/ that somewhere you'll see her/ again and again," I let my hand rest on the couch between us, hoping that Joshua would pick it up and hold it.
Later, Nellie sang "I've known you a few short weeks, and yet/ somehow you've made my heart forget/ all other men I have ever met/ but you..." and I knew exactly how she was feeling. Joshua's hand brushed mine and he quickly crossed his arms. "Drat," I thought to myself, "I've scared him off and how he's not going to hold my hand at all."
A few minutes later he commented that his hands were cold. I jumped at my opportunity. "Mine aren't," I said, grabbing his hand.
I didn't let go. Neither did he.
Eventually I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. "So..." I said. "Does this mean I can call you my boyfriend?"
"Well, can I call you my girlfriend?" he asked.
"Of course," I said.
"All right then." After a few minutes he offered, "Would you like me to call your dad and get his permission to date you?"
"That would be great," I said. The way I wrote that makes it seem like I was calm, cool and collected. I was actually so excited I think I was shaking.
So that was that. After the movie, and mostly ignoring the last several minutes, he walked me back to my dorm. I was giddy. The next morning I was still so excited I could hardly eat breakfast. He called my dad that afternoon. We sat on the floor against my bed, both of us shaking and nervous. Joshua didn't have to say much, but the conversation went well and Dad did give his permission. I had been telling my parents about Joshua for the last two weeks so it wasn't a complete surprise.
My friends, once I told them all that I had a boyfriend, were mostly quite surprised. I wasn't the first of my close group of girlfriends to have a boyfriend, but the last time any of them had dated anybody was eighth grade and it hadn't lasted very long. So my having a boyfriend was a pretty big deal.
Joshua and I started eating meals together as often as we could and hanging out when we were free in the evenings. He became more and more important to me as time went on, although he didn't become one of my very highest priorities until a few months later.
One proof I had of his affection for me came just a few weeks after we started dating, when I came down with swine flu and was stuck in my room over fall break. Joshua spent the entire long weekend keeping me company, bringing me books, food and movies, rubbing my aching back, and generally taking care of me. I realized then that he really did love me.
Over Thanksgiving break we were apart but we talked on the phone almost every day. I kept tying up my aunt's and grandma's phones while I was staying with them, and with my family. During Christmas break Joshua came up to visit my family for ten days, and I spent a few days with him and his parents at the end of break (his parents live just about twenty minutes from us).
At the end of our visit at my parents', Joshua took a bus back down to his parents' and I flew down the next day. My parents took me to the airport, and while we were in the car my dad said to me, "So. Is this the one?"
I was rather taken aback, but I said, "Well, yes, he is."
"Does he think so?" Dad asked.
"Yes..."
"Well, then," Dad said, "do you have a date?"
"Dad! Well, we were thinking this coming December..."
Obviously the wedding wasn't in December 2010 (unfortunately). Dad explained that since that was a very busy time for him, and for Joshua's dad (who is a pastor), and that the weather wouldn't be good for traveling, it would be best to not get married in December. It was he who suggested Memorial Day weekend of 2011. Joshua and I weren't thrilled about having to wait that long (fifteen months!) but it ended up working out just fine.
Our engagement was fifteen long months of planning, working, school, and spending as much time together as possible. Over the summer we were apart for six weeks at a time. Joshua came to Wisconsin in May, and we visited Nebraska in July, arriving on my 19th birthday. Then I got a ride from some friends back to Nebraska a couple days before school started again, and stayed with Joshua's family until we had to start school. Our sophomore year actually went by fairly quickly. We spent Thanksgiving together at Joshua's parents, and I did a lot of wedding planning over Christmas break. We started pre-marriage counseling with our campus pastor, and also did some with the pastor at my parents' church who married us.
Over spring break, which we spent in Wisconsin, we mailed out invitations and had a bridal shower that my aunt and grandma hosted, visiting from Minnesota. It was so much fun and four out of my seven bridesmaids were there. One of them, Emily, had just returned from a mission trip in India the day before and showed up to surprise me!
After school got out in May I stayed with my grandparents for about a week before the three of us went to Chicago for the wedding of one of my dad's cousins. My parents and sister were there too, so I went home with them. Joshua had already moved into our apartment and was "baching it" for about two weeks. Ruth and Joe were still here for May-term classes, so they kept him company and fed him--bless them! They have been such a blessing to us since second semester of last year, when Ruth and I started getting to know each other.
The week before our wedding was really not very busy. Joshua arrived about a week before the wedding, and his family came up two days before it. I had finished most of the work that I had to do long before that. The food and cake were ordered, my dress was ready, dear friends were taking care of the hall decorating and serving the reception. It was actually a really relaxing week. I spent time packing up a lot of my stuff, because one of our groomsmen was driving his truck up in order to haul back a U-Haul trailer with our wedding presents, some furniture, and the rest of my things.
Finally came the weekend of the wedding...which I will write about in another post. :)
The night we figured out that we liked each other, Joshua and I had gotten together with a couple other people to watch South Pacific. I figured that between the music, the WWII action, and the story, Joshua and I would both enjoy it.
Sitting to his left on a couch, with my roommate and two guys from Joshua's hall in a public lounge, I started to realize that the movie was more significant than I had thought, especially as our companions started leaving with a variety of excuses.
As Emile sang in a rich, deep bass, "Some enchanted evening/ you may see a stranger/ you may see a stranger/ across a crowded room,/ and somehow you know/ you know even then/ that somewhere you'll see her/ again and again," I let my hand rest on the couch between us, hoping that Joshua would pick it up and hold it.
Later, Nellie sang "I've known you a few short weeks, and yet/ somehow you've made my heart forget/ all other men I have ever met/ but you..." and I knew exactly how she was feeling. Joshua's hand brushed mine and he quickly crossed his arms. "Drat," I thought to myself, "I've scared him off and how he's not going to hold my hand at all."
A few minutes later he commented that his hands were cold. I jumped at my opportunity. "Mine aren't," I said, grabbing his hand.
I didn't let go. Neither did he.
Eventually I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. "So..." I said. "Does this mean I can call you my boyfriend?"
"Well, can I call you my girlfriend?" he asked.
"Of course," I said.
"All right then." After a few minutes he offered, "Would you like me to call your dad and get his permission to date you?"
"That would be great," I said. The way I wrote that makes it seem like I was calm, cool and collected. I was actually so excited I think I was shaking.
So that was that. After the movie, and mostly ignoring the last several minutes, he walked me back to my dorm. I was giddy. The next morning I was still so excited I could hardly eat breakfast. He called my dad that afternoon. We sat on the floor against my bed, both of us shaking and nervous. Joshua didn't have to say much, but the conversation went well and Dad did give his permission. I had been telling my parents about Joshua for the last two weeks so it wasn't a complete surprise.
My friends, once I told them all that I had a boyfriend, were mostly quite surprised. I wasn't the first of my close group of girlfriends to have a boyfriend, but the last time any of them had dated anybody was eighth grade and it hadn't lasted very long. So my having a boyfriend was a pretty big deal.
Joshua and I started eating meals together as often as we could and hanging out when we were free in the evenings. He became more and more important to me as time went on, although he didn't become one of my very highest priorities until a few months later.
One proof I had of his affection for me came just a few weeks after we started dating, when I came down with swine flu and was stuck in my room over fall break. Joshua spent the entire long weekend keeping me company, bringing me books, food and movies, rubbing my aching back, and generally taking care of me. I realized then that he really did love me.
Over Thanksgiving break we were apart but we talked on the phone almost every day. I kept tying up my aunt's and grandma's phones while I was staying with them, and with my family. During Christmas break Joshua came up to visit my family for ten days, and I spent a few days with him and his parents at the end of break (his parents live just about twenty minutes from us).
At the end of our visit at my parents', Joshua took a bus back down to his parents' and I flew down the next day. My parents took me to the airport, and while we were in the car my dad said to me, "So. Is this the one?"
I was rather taken aback, but I said, "Well, yes, he is."
"Does he think so?" Dad asked.
"Yes..."
"Well, then," Dad said, "do you have a date?"
"Dad! Well, we were thinking this coming December..."
Obviously the wedding wasn't in December 2010 (unfortunately). Dad explained that since that was a very busy time for him, and for Joshua's dad (who is a pastor), and that the weather wouldn't be good for traveling, it would be best to not get married in December. It was he who suggested Memorial Day weekend of 2011. Joshua and I weren't thrilled about having to wait that long (fifteen months!) but it ended up working out just fine.
Our engagement was fifteen long months of planning, working, school, and spending as much time together as possible. Over the summer we were apart for six weeks at a time. Joshua came to Wisconsin in May, and we visited Nebraska in July, arriving on my 19th birthday. Then I got a ride from some friends back to Nebraska a couple days before school started again, and stayed with Joshua's family until we had to start school. Our sophomore year actually went by fairly quickly. We spent Thanksgiving together at Joshua's parents, and I did a lot of wedding planning over Christmas break. We started pre-marriage counseling with our campus pastor, and also did some with the pastor at my parents' church who married us.
Over spring break, which we spent in Wisconsin, we mailed out invitations and had a bridal shower that my aunt and grandma hosted, visiting from Minnesota. It was so much fun and four out of my seven bridesmaids were there. One of them, Emily, had just returned from a mission trip in India the day before and showed up to surprise me!
After school got out in May I stayed with my grandparents for about a week before the three of us went to Chicago for the wedding of one of my dad's cousins. My parents and sister were there too, so I went home with them. Joshua had already moved into our apartment and was "baching it" for about two weeks. Ruth and Joe were still here for May-term classes, so they kept him company and fed him--bless them! They have been such a blessing to us since second semester of last year, when Ruth and I started getting to know each other.
The week before our wedding was really not very busy. Joshua arrived about a week before the wedding, and his family came up two days before it. I had finished most of the work that I had to do long before that. The food and cake were ordered, my dress was ready, dear friends were taking care of the hall decorating and serving the reception. It was actually a really relaxing week. I spent time packing up a lot of my stuff, because one of our groomsmen was driving his truck up in order to haul back a U-Haul trailer with our wedding presents, some furniture, and the rest of my things.
Finally came the weekend of the wedding...which I will write about in another post. :)
Friday, June 10, 2011
Christ the Groom, the Church the Bride
Marriage was designed by God to bring couples comfort, companionship, mutual joy and pleasure, and often the gift of children. But have you ever stopped to consider that another reason for marriage is to give us an example of God's love for his Church?
My pastor explained this to us shortly before the wedding. A wedding is a picture of the relationship between Christ and his bride, the Church. The bride is presented holy, pure, without blemish (dressed in white!), radiant and beautiful, to the groom. All eyes are on her, as she represents the body of Christ. She is her groom's beloved, and they pledge themselves to each other, for life, no matter what. He promises to love and cherish and protect her; she promises to love, cherish, respect, honor and submit to him.
In the service of Holy Matrimony (as it is written in Lutheran Service Book), the groom promises to "nourish and cherish her as Christ loved His body, the Church, giving Himself up for her." The bride promises to "submit to him as the Church submits to Christ."
The love and commitment that God desires a married couple to have for each other is fulfilled and made perfect in Christ's love for the Church. The bride and groom take each other "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish." In the 8th chapter of Romans Paul writes, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:35, 38, 39).
Christ's love for us is completely unconditional. As sinful human beings there may be times when our love and commitment to our spouse falters. God has given us the gift of forgiveness for those times when we fail, and he restores broken trust, broken hearts and broken relationships. But Christ's love for us will never falter or fail. There is nothing that we as people can do to escape Christ's love for us. And the wondrous thing is, Christ give us his unconditional love to share with others. As husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, children, grandparents, sisters and brothers, we do not have to search within our selves for the strength to love those around us. That love comes from Christ alone. It is he who enables us to love others, by the love he has for us.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A Married Woman! -Pictures-
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Thankful that Marriage is for LIFE!
As funny as this might sound, I'm really glad I'm only getting married once--for lots of reasons!! For one thing, I want to spend the rest of my life with my man. There's no one I'd rather live, love, struggle, rejoice, praise, serve and grow old with. Also, getting married is a lot of work. It takes a lot of time, a lot of planning, lots of other people helping, and a lot of money. I've been having the weirdest dreams of my life related to the wedding. It is, after all, the biggest decision of my life, the biggest change I'll probably ever go through, the most life-changing event I'll ever experience.
However, I'm thankful for every aspect of this whole experience. I'm learning more about myself, my future husband, and what all marriage entails. I'm SO thankful that we have our whole lives to get this marriage-thing down. It's going to take a lot of work, a lot of patience, a lot of love and forgiveness. Thank God for his grace, and for the strength we'll need to honor him in our marriage. I'm so thankful for the man God has given me to "do life" with. I wouldn't want to go through life without either one of them--God or my man! :)
I'm coming to realize how much so many people love and care about me, about us. So many of our family and friends are coming, so many are helping in myriad ways. Our parents have expressed their love to us so clearly. We are so blessed; God is so good. And as one of my favorite bloggers, Nikki, reminded me in a recent post, God is not just good in the good times. We will struggle, but God will be just as good then as he is now, in the happy times. And we can have joy in those hard times too, because joy is not of ourselves but comes from Him and Him alone.
I have more thoughts, but those of you who are married understand that five days before my wedding, my to-do list is still overwhelming! I'll get it done...but I need to get it done. :)
I promised pictures. They will come...eventually!
However, I'm thankful for every aspect of this whole experience. I'm learning more about myself, my future husband, and what all marriage entails. I'm SO thankful that we have our whole lives to get this marriage-thing down. It's going to take a lot of work, a lot of patience, a lot of love and forgiveness. Thank God for his grace, and for the strength we'll need to honor him in our marriage. I'm so thankful for the man God has given me to "do life" with. I wouldn't want to go through life without either one of them--God or my man! :)
I'm coming to realize how much so many people love and care about me, about us. So many of our family and friends are coming, so many are helping in myriad ways. Our parents have expressed their love to us so clearly. We are so blessed; God is so good. And as one of my favorite bloggers, Nikki, reminded me in a recent post, God is not just good in the good times. We will struggle, but God will be just as good then as he is now, in the happy times. And we can have joy in those hard times too, because joy is not of ourselves but comes from Him and Him alone.
I have more thoughts, but those of you who are married understand that five days before my wedding, my to-do list is still overwhelming! I'll get it done...but I need to get it done. :)
I promised pictures. They will come...eventually!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
I Will Lift My Eyes
The Psalm that the man and I chose for our wedding service is Psalm 121:
I lift up my eyes to the hills--
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
That's just verses one and two. But it hit me, reading this the other day, that this defines my priorities and the source of my help and strength, during this time before my wedding and for my whole life.
Where am I lifting up my eyes? Where am I looking for help? Am I looking inward, toward myself? Am I looking toward my (soon-to-be) husband, or our families, or the government, for help? Is my focus on myself and my own petty worries and problems?
My focus IS on the Lord. The psalmist tells us why we can put our trust in God: He is the Maker of heaven and earth. The One who formed the universe, the stars in the sky, birds in the air, fish in the sea, is the One who made me. He is in control of every aspect of the universe, including my life. He is my strength, my help, my hope, my life.
During this time of much change and adjustment, my eyes will be lifted to God's holy hill, to my helper, the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
**Apartment pictures coming soon! :) **
I lift up my eyes to the hills--
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
That's just verses one and two. But it hit me, reading this the other day, that this defines my priorities and the source of my help and strength, during this time before my wedding and for my whole life.
Where am I lifting up my eyes? Where am I looking for help? Am I looking inward, toward myself? Am I looking toward my (soon-to-be) husband, or our families, or the government, for help? Is my focus on myself and my own petty worries and problems?
My focus IS on the Lord. The psalmist tells us why we can put our trust in God: He is the Maker of heaven and earth. The One who formed the universe, the stars in the sky, birds in the air, fish in the sea, is the One who made me. He is in control of every aspect of the universe, including my life. He is my strength, my help, my hope, my life.
During this time of much change and adjustment, my eyes will be lifted to God's holy hill, to my helper, the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
**Apartment pictures coming soon! :) **
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